Stories of the Flock Through Music: Collide
By MyNameIsCAL
Song by Howie Day
-Fang's POV-
This is sort of Fang's thoughts to Max. It's really like his thinking about leaving Max, I guess. But interpret it however you'd like, I'm just hoping it makes sense, haha! Right, and you're probably thinking about the last one and saying "Hey! This should go before the other songfic!" And you'd be thinking correctly, but I wasn't thinking about this song until I just recently started to play it, so I guess I'll just have to respond and shrug and say to you, "Oh well. It's not meant to be in order or be related anyways."
Well, thanks for reading my babbling that probably just confused you more. Thank you Howie Day for this song!
The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
It's another beautiful morning, the sun coming up over the mountains, as you sleep against me. But the sun rise isn't as nearly as beautiful as you, Max.
I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again
The way things are going, it's been tough for you and me. I haven't been the best at saying things, you know? You're ready to pour your heart out and I'm, well, I'm just me I guess, and I've never been the one to scream out, "Here I am, World! This is me!" I'd much rather take your hand and run off with you somewhere, someplace away from all the struggle.
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find you and I collide
All this bad stuff has happened to us, but look how we ended up, together. Through the hurt and the pain, everything, it ends up okay in the end. I have you and you have me and we have the flock and the flock has each other. We're family, in more ways than one.
I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know
I'm always on your mind
I'll always be the silent guy I guess. Remember that day you kissed me on the beach, right in front of the entire flock, just because you thought I was going to die or something? Well, I'm glad I'm okay, and I'm sorta glad you did kiss me. Or when you spent the whole time when Dr. M was operating on you telling me how you loved me? That was, well, it made me think, and you know, I'd like to look back and smile at that. But to think that you're always thinking about me, it makes me wonder if I think about you enough. I wonder if I do enough for you, to show you how I feel.
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find you and I collide
We get ahead of ourselves, and we stumble and fumble through our relationship, not just between you and me, but with the rest of the flock. I know that there's no one better than you to get us back to where we should be, even if that means going on without me.
Don't stop here
But I've been thinking, a lot. I need to go, to get away, to let you and the flock grow, to continue on without us getting in the way. Without me putting you in danger and letting that put everyone else in danger.
I lost my place
You and I, maybe in a different place and time, would have worked out great. I'll miss you.
I'm close behind
And wherever you are, I'll always be thinking about you. In my heart, you'll always be with me.
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find you and I collide
You'll probably hate me, after I go, after all the time we've enjoyed together. Leaving will be like leaving half of me behind, but with the half I leave of myself, I take part of you, and it'll make me stronger, for the better, until we meet again.
You finally find you and I collide
You finally find you and I collide
Inevitably, I know it, we'll have to meet each other again, and when we do, I'll be ready for whatever you have to throw at me, whatever swear word or insult you want to scream. But when we meet again, I think we'll both realize something about ourselves, and about each other, and maybe, just maybe, we'll be ready for each other for real.
You know, I forced myself to go back and read Fang's letter. I absolutely cannot stand that better, because if you catch me on an off day when I've been thinking too much, I let that letter get to me, and well, yeah, it makes me want to cry sometimes. It's funny how attached you get to fictional things, isn't it? I'm not the only insane one, right?
OF COURSE Fang has his thing saying that he doesn't know if he'll ever see any of them again, but you know, this is me, hoping for the best, trying to make Fang believe he will see them again. Haha, right, I'm crazy. This is like such a fantasy. Ahhh…This is why I should stop myself from rambling.
Well, thanks for reading. I'll have a new songfic up here next week probably. Oh, and for those of you who are starting summer break, ENJOY!