Chapter 19: Dead is the New Alive

From the song: Dead is the New Alive by: Emilie Autumn

Damon: Emilie Autumn? Who is that?

Me: She's kind of weird.

Stefan: As opposed to the other music you listen to?

Me: …good point.

Elena: [laughs]

Me: Here

Everyone: [listens to my Emilie Autumn playlist] o.O WTF?

Me: HAHAHA!

Marilyn Manson: I have to go.

Me: NOOO! [Sobs]

Marilyn Manson: [smiles.] I am only allowed to be gone a few days.

Elena: Why?

Stefan: [whispers] I don't think you want to know.

Marilyn Manson: [smiles] you've already got to know me.

Stefan: [shudders]

Me, Damon and Marilyn Manson: [laugh]

Me: okay. Bye bye. [Pout]

Marilyn Manson: Bye.

Me: [sigh] …

Lestat from Queen of the Damned comes in.

Me: [FanGirl Squeal!] AHH! [Faints]

Damon: Who are you?

Lestat: I am the Vampire Lestat. [Grins]

Elena: What's up with the leather pants?

Lestat: I'm daring.

Stefan: Why did Nykki faint?

Lestat: [smirk] I have that effect on women.

Damon: You did not just sexily smirk! [Stands up] Hold my earrings, Elena!

Everyone: o.O

Damon: [clears throat] I mean…uh…nice to see a real Vampire, not a bunny eater.

Damon dropped to his knees in agony. "Bitch!" He painfully pulled the stake out and started towards Lexi until Elena put a hand on his chest.

"Damon, don't."

Damon turned around and went upstairs to change his shirt.

Lee stood up. "Lexi."

Lexi ran towards him and kissed him.

"I missed you." Lee said to her.

As soon as Anna spotted Jeremy she ran to him. "Jeremy!"

He held out his arms to hug her but she stopped. "Jeremy…what did you do?"

He smiled. "I turned like you wanted me too."

Anna frowned. "But…I wanted you to turn for us. Why didn't you stay human after John killed me?"

Jeremy swallowed. "I didn't want to feel the pain of losing you."

"Hey, guys," Alaric called. "I think you missed one."

Everyone looked to see Alaric push the desk away, revealing Vicki.

"Vicki!" Jeremy ran to her. "Elena!" He called. "Come here!"

"What, Jer?" She walked over to look at Vicki when Jeremy roughly grabbed her. He wiped his fingers on her bleeding wound and put them up to Vicki's mouth.

"Jeremy, what are you doing?" Elena asked frantically.

"Saving her!"

"Jeremy, Vicki was unstable. She tried to kill you!"

"Well, I wouldn't remember that, now would I?" He shot back and Elena went silent.

Vicki slowly opened her eyes and sat up, holding her head. "Jeremy? Where am I?"

"You're at Stefan and Damon's house."

"What? Why am I here? The last thing I remember," She stood up. "Was the Halloween Party. We were making out outside and…Jer, what happened?"

"You…tried to kill me and Elena."

"Oh. Jer, I'm sorry."

He smiled. "It's okay. It's okay, Vicki." He hugged her.

Everyone heard Damon laugh from the steps. "This ought to be an interesting love triangle." He walked down the stairs. "Like the old days, huh Stefan? Remember? Though I think it may be harder with Vicki, Anna with Jeremy. It was easier with two guys than two girls, huh Stefan?"

No one but Pearl, Elena and Jeremy knew what he was talking about.

Stefan glared warningly. "We don't need to get into that, Damon."

"You know, you're right. We've both gotten into enough haven't we?"

Elena blushed.

Damon and Elena lay on the bed in their underwear, passionately kissing. Damon braced himself above her with his hands on either side of her head. Elena moaned softly, enjoying the taste of his tongue on hers. Suddenly Damon pulled back.

"I hear you Stefan." He smirked and looked up at Stefan when he opened the door. "What's up?"

"Uh…" He looked away.

"Spit it out, Mr. Brooding."

"I think you should go check on Tyler."

"Um…" He pretended to think about it. "No thanks."

"Damon-"

"Hey, why don't you have Alaric or Bonnie do it?"

"What if he's still unstable?"

Damon rolled his eyes. "They don't have to open the cellar; they just have to peek inside. Now if you don't mind…"

Stefan closed the door and left to go check on Tyler himself.

Damon leaned down and his lips didn't get an inch away from Elena's when Bonnie burst through the door.

Damon let out a frustrated growl. "Yes?"

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

Ah, damn.

"Um…in 1864, my brother and I started screwing a Vampire that turned us. My abusive father never loved me and was a Vampire hunter and he shot my brother and me. I have lived eternity alone except for a lot of one night stands with sorority girls and I hate my brother and Katherine for not being there for me, and I almost destroyed this town until the love of my life for 146 years came back, and I staked her. Does that answer your question or do you want to do a Dr. Phil special?"

"Elena-" Bonnie began but Damon stood up and grabbed her, pushing her out the door and closing it.

"Damon, what was that all about?"

Damon sighed. "Well, Isobel came back."

"…and?"

"I found her."

"…and?"

"I threatened her."

"And…?"

"I slept with her."

"You WHAT?"

He raised an eyebrow. "She seduced me. I was just using her." He shrugged indifferently and Elena realized his walls were up again. It's been weeks since he's used them on her and it hurt to see him disconnected again.

"That's your excuse?"

Bonnie knocked on the door angrily. "Damon, Open this door right now!"

He rolled his eyes. "We are talking!"

Bonnie huffed and told him to go into the library.

"Um…I'll pass."

"NOW!"

He smirked at Elena. "Demanding little thing, isn't she?"

Elena started crying.

Anna watched as Jeremy talked Vicki through everything. She couldn't help the pang of jealousy that had entered her.

"Annabelle," Pearl sat down on the couch next to her. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, mama." She hugged her and smiled.

"You're worried about this Vicki girl getting between you and Jeremy."

She reluctantly nodded.

Pearl rubbed her back soothingly. "If Jeremy really loves you, you won't have anything to worry about."

"He loved her first."

"Trust me, sweetheart." But the truth was, the way the boy looked at this Vicki girl, she wasn't so sure, either.

Stefan, Bonnie, Lee and Lexi stood in the Salvatore Library, waiting for Damon and Elena to come downstairs.

Elena walked in, her face tear-stained. Damon obviously didn't do anything to help her. Then Damon came in, looking positively calm; wearing his impenetrable mask of indifference.

"What are we doing here again?" Damon asked, smirking.

Bonnie just glared at him.

Stefan was the first to speak. "Bonnie wants to try a spell on us."

"Oh yes, that worked so well the last time." Damon sat down on the couch and gestured towards Bonnie. "Yes, please. Enthrall me with your way to screw up our lives again."

"Damon, stop." Stefan replied.

Ignoring him Damon asked with a smirk, "Where's the fearsome threesome…and Pearl and Matt?"

"Upstairs."Alaric replied. "Trying to help Vicki. They'll be down in a second."

He nodded. "Well I suppose my apology was empty, then." He said with a smirk.

"Apology?" Elena turned to him.

Damon rolled his eyes. "I apologized to your brother for turning Vicki."

"Why?"

Damon growled in irritation and stood up. "If this little tyrant is going to ensue, I'll need a drink." In the blink of an eye he was back with a bottle of Bourbon in his hand. He sat down to see everyone staring at him. He waved a hand. "Go on ahead." He took a swig from the bottle.

Vicki, Pearl, Matt, Anna and Jeremy came down the stairs, each one looking agitated; each for a different reason.

"O…kay." Bonnie turned to Alaric, Stefan, Lexi, Vicki, Pearl, Anna, Jeremy, Matt, Lee and Elena. "First I want to do a spell on everyone. It will momentarily let everyone see what's inside your mind. It will help everyone subconsciously understand what the others thinking is, and in the long run will keep everyone safe."

Damon immediately stood up. "I'm out."

"No! You have to. Emily's spell book says that we have to be linked, and you are the most powerful one besides Lexi, and she's not strong enough right now – you're the one that will be the key." He still showed reluctance so she added, "Do you really think I would bring you down here if I wasn't using you?"

He smirked. "Touché." And he sat back down.

"Damon, come here and join hands with me."

Damon sighed and stood up again. He walked across the room, handing the bottle to Alaric on the way. He grabbed Bonnie's hands and sighed. "What are we doing, exactly?"

"Shh." Bonnie closed her eyes. She said three words in Latin and opened her eyes. Every candle lit up and a gust of wind hit everyone. Suddenly everybody gasped simultaneously as images and colors flowed through their minds. For some reason, they could identify each thought with the person.

Elena's – colors of guilt, shame, love, lust and selflessness.

Jeremy's – colors of confusion, love, hunger and satisfaction.

Bonnie's – colors of hate, anger, want and selflessness.

Lexi's – colors of need, hope and love.

Lee's – colors of finality, love and happiness.

Stefan's - colors of guilt, need and hope.

Vicki's – colors of confusion, anger and lust.

Matt – colors of confusion, hope, selflessness, guilt.

Pearl – colors of hope, love, and anger.

Alaric – colors of confusion, anger and selflessness.

Anna – colors of regret, hope, hate, love and selflessness.

And finally, Damon's – flashing colors of rage, black streaks of hate and anger, red streaks of lust, want, and need, blue streaks of hopelessness, guilt, misery and shame, orange streaks of confusion, longing, selfishness, selflessness. But mostly self-loathing. A lot of that.

Everyone had the breath knocked out of them as they turned to stare, but it wasn't at Bonnie, who had performed this amazing spell, but Damon, whose mind seemed to contradict itself.

No one said a word, not even Damon. They stared at him incredulously.

Pearl was the first to break the silence. "Damon, what-"

Damon seemed to come back and before anyone could blink was upstairs and out the door.

Everyone was silent. And no one followed him.

6:00 a.m.

Tyler lay in the cellar in human form. He groggily opened his eyes, wondering what had happened.

He sat up. What did he do? He felt over his body for scars or wounds. There weren't any. What was he? A mutant? Part dog? What?

And Damon…he seemed to know what was going to happen. Who is he – really?

"Hey." Stefan said through the bars. "I have some clothes for you."

"Stefan?" He stood up.

"Yeah." He opened the door.

"Why am I not…"

"A wolf?" Stefan handed him that clothes. "It only lasts until the sun comes up, then you change back."

"How often will it happen?"

"Every time there is a full moon."

Tyler blinked.

"Every month."

"No!" Tyler put his head in his hands.

Stefan nodded sympathetically. "Come on upstairs when you get dressed." And he left.

"I'm worried about Damon," Elena said. "It's been 5 hours since he left."

"He'll come back when he's ready." Alaric said.

Elena sighed. "What was that, Bonnie?"

Bonnie shook her head. "I don't know. I really don't."

Pearl spoke up. "Damon has a lot on his mind. That's what it is."

"But it can't be that simple." Matt said. "There's something really wrong with him."

"I don't know." Pearl replied. "There's something eating at him. What did you guys see?"

"Lust and anger mostly. And self-loathing." Elena said.

Jeremy nodded. "I saw some longing, like he misses someone, too."

"And a lot of need and confusion." Lee said. "But mostly he seems to hate himself."

Everyone nodded in silent agreement.

"Are you talking about me?" A voice slurred from the doorway.

"Damon!" Elea jumped up and hugged him, almost making him fall over, then stepped back. "Are you drunk?" She asked reprovingly.

"Yep." He grinned and held up a half-empty bottle. "This is my…mm…7th I believe."

"Seven?" Elena exclaimed.

"Yeppers!" He walked upstairs, almost falling twice and went into his room, shutting the door behind him.

Elena helplessly turned to the others.

Oh, boy. This was going to be fun.

A/N: THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR READING! Chapter 19? REALLY? You guys are screwed up! xD There will be your lemon fix in the next chappie, though. Who will it be? Hmm…. :D