Chapter 21: Duet show

11:11 AM (Japan Time), Saturday April the 7th…

"… Simulation Level 2: Start. Lily: standby."

"Roger. Always ready!"

"Let's see if they can beat the score."

"Hmpf…Let's see…"

Tozukana, Qong, Lily and Tom (those two being materialized) were standing in a room, which looked like a filming stage taken out of some film studios given the green background, which was to be later filled in by CG effects; both had their rifles ready and were standing keeping a five-meter distance between each of them.

"Simulation: start."

The stage was replaced with an holographic stage: a park somewhere in the midst of a city, filled with people and having a stage set on it with Japanese flags and the name "OOZORA TAROU" set on it; bodyguards were standing around it as a man climbed into the podium amongst the cheers of the public; Tozukana aimed towards him as she stood in a hill at some distance.

"OK… Current distance: 500 yards." Lily reported as she lowered her binoculars.

"Piece of a cake. Go nap and lose in the popularity polls, old man. Nothing personal."

She aimed with the rifle's scope for the right side of his neck and shot at him; the dart hit his neck in a soundless manner and he quickly began to yawn and stretch before collapsing on the ground, snoring; disappointed voices rang out while the bodyguards rushed over to him to try to wake him up, while others held the crowd at bay.

"Gotcha." She announced.

"Simulation over."

Kage and Zarashe followed by their materialized Net Navis stepped into the room from the entrance in a silent manner to contemplate; Qong picked up his rifle and removed the safety.

"Level 3." He merely announced.

"Simulation: start."

The surroundings became a lake with grassy plains and forests surrounding it; the man from the previous simulation was now fishing while riding in a wooden boat and the bodyguards were standing near his van; another one was riding on the boat with him.

"Distance: 550 yards." Tom reported.

"Roger… Let's go…"

Qong calmly aimed and made sure to keep the gun steady; he inhaled and exhaled two or three times while tightening his grip; he slowly pulled the trigger and the dart travelled across the lake to hit the man; he yawned and collapsed face-up inside of the boat while letting go of the fishing rod; the bodyguard began to try to reanimate him.

"Simulation over."

"But, really… Are we gonna pull something like we tried on Chief Sorodo again? Wouldn't that be repetitive?" Zarashe asked Kage in a hush.

"Nah. We're just gonna use them to take out any cowards who try to run away from the locales we raid."

"Besides… They only make people fall asleep so…" Andy shrugged.

"No harm done!"

"Level 4, Danna!" Tozukana called out.

"Simulation: start."

The background became a bridge over which two train tracks had been set; one train was travelling down it before slowing down when it reached the station.

The target was sitting next to the window and reading a book, which he closed to look out beyond the windows.

"Distance: 600 yards."

"Go nap and miss your station, old man." She taunted.

She shot through the glass and hit his neck again; the man hung his head down and let go of the book, which fell into the ground and opened up just as the train speeded up again and headed down the tracks.

"Simulation over."

"Level 5." Qong commanded.

"Coming." Tom acknowledged.

This newest background was a huge football stadium, filled with public; the target was one spectator in the VIP box and had a bowl of popcorn set atop the right armrest of the seat.

"Distance: 650 yards."

"Acknowledged…"

Qong repeated his earlier procedure of inhaling and exhaling twice while tightening the grip on the rifle to keep it steady; he shot but the dart missed and hit the leather of the armchair mere inches away from the man's neck; Qong looked up, surprised.

"Huh? Failure?" He wondered.

"Weird." Tom frowned.

"Then the record's mine! Ladies go first!" Tozukana grinned.

"Don't get cocky." Lily warned.

"Alright, old man. This time you're gonna miss this spectacular finale to the football club and Aunt Moran will have your pop-corn to feed the doves in Dove Square!" She laughed.

"Come on." Lily was annoyed by now.

"My victory~!"

The dart, however, hit the bowl of popcorn and the speed, strength and mass it carried made it tilt backwards until it collapsed along the length of the armrest and scattered the popcorn around the man.

"What in the fuck! The bitch! It has to be the bitch! That bitch set me up again!" She cursed.

"Wrong, Tozukana – san." Kage called out.

"Miquel and Wan! When'd ya come in?"

"This is no sabotage. Mr. Keitai told me these rifles' max range capacity is about 600 yards."

"Then how the fuck did Laika hit us from 700 yards away?"

"He obviously had a better rifle."

"BETTER RIFLE? MUST HAVE IT!" She exploded.

"Come on. Do you think we're here to comply with your caprices, Joanne – chan?" Lily crossed her arms, sighing.

"Shaddup!"

"… Women…" Qong muttered.

"What! Got a problem with that? You Tom Cruise wannabe!"

Qong didn't reply and Tozukana's annoyance began to increase; she looked about to murder something or someone at this rate, but Kage merely signaled the CCTV camera set above the entrance; Tozukana fumed and cursed something under her breath.

"Alright, Mr. Smart-ass! Where have cha been to?"

"Studying. I thought everyone knew by now that I'm coursing my studies online with a remote tutor." He shrugged.

"Yeah. It ain't classified or anything." Andy added.

"Get me a better rifle!"

"Tell that to Boss."

"He's never here! How can we do something without the Boss?"

"Doesn't he leave written orders or send emails?"

"Yeah! But I wanna uncloak that smug guy!"

"I wouldn't call Boss smug." Kage warned.

"I don't know him very well, but he's an efficient man." Zarashe added.

"Yeah. In-fighting is forbidden by Rule #5 too."

"Nya~h! I'll remember this!" She cursed.

"Of course you will, Miss."

"Where'd ya come from?"

"From my place."

"I don't mean today! Where did you come from? I only know they found cha in Houston and all!"

"I'm Japanese by birth. My dad was from Chicago." He replied.

"Chicago! Then do ya know why the city's turned the way it is?"

"Politics and paranoia." He summed up.

"There's a gal I know there but communications are so complicated, really! Hard to believe such a big city can be isolated from the world just because five or six politicians want it to against the will of the inhabitants, really! That Bitter Party, the Tea Party offshoot… They've gone mad!"

"No doubt. My uncle is one of them and I despise the guy. I hated being discriminated as if it was the 1930s! I ditched 'em and got lucky to meet Boss in Houston. Everyone hates the city government but the guys at Washington are getting cold feet. They seem to be far more worried with the Middle East than their own territories."

"There were… proxies… in Sri Lanka… Mercs who tried to make up fake slaughters to blame our guerilla…" Qong let out.

"What. So you come from Sri Lanka?" Tozukana asked.

"Yeah… Correct…"

"Why didn't cha tell us?" Tozukana frowned.

"Nobody… asked."

"I can attest to that." Tom added.

"True." Lily seemingly recalled.

"Attention all personnel! Officer on deck!" A voice rang out through the PA speakers.

"Mr. President?" Beta X wondered.

"Calling on Superintendent Vicente~!"

"Superintendent Vicente? A Spanish man?" Andy wondered.

"Obviously, but it could be from South Ameroupe… Maybe it's a supplier of something hired by Boss…" Kage muttered.

"Those little blessed despised and adored mice!"

"HUH? How can mice be blessed, despised and adored?" Tom wondered.

"… Dunno…" Qong merely replied.

"You're very ready when it comes to landing! Very - READY!"

"To landing… What? Private jets, Boeings, helicopters?" Beta X wondered next, bringing his right index finger against his chin.

"Guess so…" Andy trailed off.

"Boss! Have you ever seen a clockwork watermelon?"

"Clockwork watermelon?" A second voice asked.

"Yeah, see… Under the copilot's seat…"

"I think there was a film named Clockwork Orange but this is the first time I've heard of clockwork watermelons…" Zarashe trailed off.

"What an avalanche! My head's drumming like a drum…"

"Wait, Boss! I'll soon fetch a cure!"

"… The guy's taking his time, it'd seem…"

"I'm back, Boss… I couldn't get it anywhere…"

"But… What were you looking for?"

"Some ice to fill this bag and place it atop your head… But I didn't find any bar where they could sell me ice cubes!"

"Note! For the joke to make sense you must know M&F were in Antarctica and then you can catch the rest of it." The announced let out.

"T-the guy was looking for ice cubes in Antarctica? Why not use mere ice to begin with?" Kage uttered in disbelief.

"Guess he's dumb." Andy guessed.

"Oh yeah! You know what? We're gonna hunt Shadow Man down when he snoops around the Reverse Internet. Using our Battle Chips and Beta X's abilities then…" Zarashe let out.

"The hunter will become the hunted." Beta X sneered.

"…I rented it from a poor-looking guy for a few bucks…"

"A "poor-looking guy", and that's me! The granny's not getting away this time… Safety: off! When they step in I'll throw the bomb at their feet and… They'll fly!"

"How disgusting! A garbage bin sans a cover… They stink!"

"Relax, ma'am… I'll plug the stench out like this."

"I can't come out! The bomb! The b…!"

"Note: M placed a boulder to plug the garbage bin hence why Mr. Heir couldn't come outta it. You can figure the rest, my fellows."

"Who'd plug a garbage bin with a boulder?" Tom was skeptical of the claim.

"I'll prepare another present with a remote detonator… I'll place the dynamite on the granny's room and come back to detonate it…"

"What wood-worm-eaten shutters! They fall apart when you touch them… There's gotta be a quarry close by… That's the second explosion I've heard today!"

"No failures this time! Nitroglycerin! Just a little hit and then…!"

"The monster disguise fits with these barracks. Why! Those quarry guys are pretty stint when it comes to working…"

"Time bomb! It's safer!"

"I'm going to nap. Wake me up when this clock dials 7 o'clock!"

"Yeah, yeah… Wake up… with a bang!"

"Well, I'm bringing it to the living to keep an eye on it! It's got a half an hour delay… I'll fix it…"

"That twit of a guy! Luckily, I calculated the explosion to happen in half an hour and…! H-half an hour…! The guy's skipped forward half an…!"

"Wha! Those quarry guys! What brutes!"

"The TNT bore! I place it and then come back to light the fuse…"

"There was so much dirt on the carpets! I'll set fire to it and get rid of it…"

"All will happen before you can utter "Holy!"…! The fuse's a quick combustion type and… and… and…!"

"Those quarry guys are overdoing it, really. Some rubble has fallen atop the roof!"

"Note to the public: characters in this comic book never die no matter how many explosions they take in."

"Burner Man and Video Man! You two! What are you doing in the PA center?" Legato called out.

"So it was those two?" Kage wondered.

"Entertaining the audience! Miss Tozukana looked like she was about to explode so we're using an M&F comic book to rise the morale! Let us finish, Legato – sama!" Video Man replied.

"Sheesh. I got busy with other stuff and didn't properly go over the draft you submitted… Fine, I admit I made a mistake there!"

"So that's the thing those guys were up to a few days ago?" Zarashe guessed.

"I hate 'em! I hate 'em! I HATE 'E~M! I'll have to use smarter tricks: the golden bomb! It's got a little device which makes it be attracted to golden things like a magnet… The granny has golden pendants! I'll silently walk towards her window with the bomb and…"

"This bloody cactus… I had to sneeze when I was looking at it from up close! Here! Get outta my sight, you!"

"M-my mouth…! I shouldn't have opened my mouth…! My golden… TOOTH! Boom! Bang! Boom!"

"The guy went mad from all those explosions, guess." Tom deduced.

"Correct answer, my good fellow! All's ready! I've got the tickets for the first plane! By the way… I saw the guy who rented me the villa… I dunno what happened to him… The madhouse guys were taking him with them… The guy had gone totally mad…"

"Don't be surprised, Boss… Those continuous quarry explosions were enough to drive anyone mad!"

"Catch the irony?" Burner Man challenged.

"The dumb guy and the granny never realized they were being targeted 'cause the dumb guy thought there was a quarry using explosives very close by… He sure was dumb and his dumb luck had him foil each and every one of heir's attempts…" Beta X replied, rolling his eyes and sighing in defeat.

"Correct, my fellows! Tune in again these days to hear more M&F radio adaptations by the humble B & V duet! Soon to be joined by N!"

"N? You mean Needle Man? True. The guy was part of this plan. If you're done with the show, here's a mission for you guys."

"Excellent! Your turn to shine, my fellow Burner Man, has come! Shine and I'll record your glory for all eternity! Maybe I'll show them why I use video tape and not DVDs!"

"Yeah! Needle Man! Cha come too and we'll be able to blow some guys up faster! We need some working out!"

"Shah, shah, sha~h! My needles are itching for action! I've installed programs to make Navis hallucinate on 'em like they'd taken a dose of LSD, see! Shah, shah, sha~h!"

"Alright. Good luck."

"We'll be going too: Shadow Man's about to drop by there so we want to show him what we can really do without any devastating weapons. See ya gals and guys 'round the corner!" Zarashe announced.

"The hunter will become the hunted…"

"Do it…" Qong seemingly encouraged.

"Heh. Tell 'im Aunt Moran's gonna fire 'em!" Tozukana grinned.

"You can do it: show them who's Boss." Kage added.

"Delighted! Do you approve, Commander?"

"Of course. Any demonstration is welcome. It's just a mercenary, anyway, nobody will complain if the guy is dragged into a brawl. The guy has been trying to sniff us several times, too. I want to know who's hired him for the job, too. So beat the jerk up and interrogate him!"

"Roger, sir! I needed a though rascal to use the full extent of my abilities, anyway. Simulations are good, but they can't beat the real thing, sir!"

"I'll agree with you there. I'll be monitoring. If there's some trap, I'll send reinforcements. Go, Beta X! Show them our power!"

"Delighted, sir! They will realize how stupid it was to underestimate us!"