Story: Undisclosed Desires
Author: hopecrowe
Rating: PG-13
Length: 3,000ish words
Summary: Episode Eleven of Grey's Anatomy 6.5
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me. They are the property of Shonda Rhimes. I make no money from using them…unfortunately.
Author's Note: Thanks to the entire 6.5 team for their all of their help and input. This is my last episode for the season—I can't believe it. Special thanks to the faaabulous crazyflirtca for beta-reading. Here's to getting a promising promo tonight!

"The heart wants what the heart wants". It's an expression that we hear all the time, but what does it actually mean? Maybe it's the best way of explaining just how inexplicable our desires can be. Some of our desires are hidden so deeply that even we don't know about them. But then some catalyst comes along and acts like a spark. That spark can turn an unknown desire from a low-lit flame into an explosion—an explosive desire that is all we can think about.

Cristina stared at the flowing red liquid drenching the carpet under the coffee table. She quickly grabbed the wine bottle that had fallen over and cursed loudly. She was only still awake because Owen was at work. She almost resented how hard it was to fall asleep when Owen wasn't next to her. Grabbing some paper towels off the kitchen counter, she threw them on top of the spill to soak it up. She looked around wildly…cleaning was so not her thing. Cristina ran to the kitchen and pulled open every cabinet until she found one with what looked like spray bottles and some sponges. As she pulled out the bottles with strange blue and green liquids inside, she stopped dead when she saw a small blue box hidden inside of a bucket. Finally it hit her that this must be the long lost cufflinks that she had hidden for Meredith. But something seemed off.

Cristina opened the box and her heart stopped.

Maybe an infinitesimally small part of her had expected something like this, but in that moment, she had to remind herself to breathe. She gulped and examined the simple ring that lay inside.

Owen had a ring. A ring that was hiding in a bucket under the kitchen sink. Hiding there for who knows how long. She took another deep breath. Cristina felt the butterflies in her stomach going crazy, but she almost felt relieved. This explained so much. This was Owen's big secret. A secret that Meredith weeks ago, which explained all of those secret discussions between her and Owen. And when she had asked him about Paris… a small smile spread across her face as she closed the small box and threw it back in the bucket, forgetting all about the stain on the living room carpet.

Cristina sighed and sat next to Meredith as she lay down on the gurney in the hallway.

"How's the belly?" Cristina asked, taking a sip from her coffee. Meredith simply groaned in response. "Hmm, well that's interesting. You know what else is interesting?" Cristina paused for a moment seeking a prompt from Meredith to continue, but she just continued to lie still with her eyes shut. Foregoing the urge to toy with Meredith, given her current state, Cristina opted to get straight to the point. "I found a ring in the kitchen today." Cristina watched her reaction closely. Meredith's eyes shot open, and she looked bewildered.

"It was in the kitchen?" Meredith asked, sounding confused.

"I know. Shocked the hell out of me this morning. You don't seem too surprised."

"Oh…um, well…what I meant..."

"Okay, Mer, drop it. I know you knew."

"Oh thank god. This whole thing was stressing me out…and that's not good for the little one," Meredith said, placing a hand delicately on her stomach. "By the way, it washidden in the sock drawer when I found it. He must've gotten paranoid."

"Can you blame him?"

"Kind of hilarious that he thought the place with the cleaning supplies would be safest, right? He really does get you."

"Hey, I found it though, didn't I?" Cristina replied, amused at the thought herself.

"So anyway, what do you think?"

"About what?"

"Cristina. The ring."

"Very creepy movie."

"Are you avoiding this question on purpose?"

"No…I'm just still processing everything, I guess." And whenever Cristina thought about the ring, her mind would skip along to Paris. Her and Owen sharing pastries at a boulangerie. Or drinking champagne on the Champs de Mars. Before she knew it, yet another irrepressible smile was on her face.

"So you're not freaking out, I take it…" Meredith said, propping her head up on her arm.

"Freaking out? No…not yet, anyway" Cristina said, snapping out of her dreamy state.

"Happy?"

"About the ring?"

"No, about the weather."

"I want to be with him, that much I know."

"There's nothing else you really need to know, is there?" Meredith said simply, smiling. "You know, you seem happy. Your smile, your voice…"

"So what's he planning? He must've told you, which is why you came up with that stupid thing about the teddy bears…"

"Oh, let him do what he wants. He wants it to be really special, don't go ruining that for him. I'm sure he's waiting for the perfect moment to do the perfect thing. I'm sure he's got it all mapped out. Just be patient. Or at least try, I know you and patience don't get along. But for his sake…"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. I'm not going to… Look, I'm just…curious. A little curiosity never hurt anyone."

"Tell that to the cat."

"I hate that expression."

"That's because you don't like the message." Cristina took another sip of her coffee and pushed herself off of the gurney.

"I'll let you get back to sleep."

"Seriously, Cristina. Just forget you ever saw it!"

"Fine, fine. Whatever, just don't stress about this anymore. I don't want to upset the McBaby."

Lexie stood at the counter of the clinic filling out some more paper work. Soon she'd be off of her non-stop clinic routine and getting back into surgery; but for the time being, she was enjoying the lack of stress in her life. She deserved a break after the past couple months. Lexie thought back to the other day with Alex. He had broken up with her in a very Alex way—abrupt, straight-forward, but not unkind. He simply couldn't handle it. He had never gotten over Izzie and deep down, Lexie knew it. He hadcalled out to Lexie thinking she was Izzie when he was dying, after all. This parting of ways was healthy. So healthy, in fact, that Lexie hadn't shed a tear. She felt a lot of things about the breakup: relief, some residual guilt, but no grief or sadness. She felt free. Alex, through no fault of his own, had been a weight on her. A manifestation of the guilt she felt over the carnage from the shooting. Then there was Jackson…who gave her the exact opposite feeling. He reminded her of what things were like before. He gave her butterflies.

Moments later, she felt a light pressure on her lower back. She turned to see Jackson giving her a cocky smile.

"Good morning, Dr. Grey." She laughed at the oddity of his formal gesture and as a way to let out some of the nerves that had shot through her when he had touched her.

"It is a good morning, Dr. Avery."

"I hear that you're…back on the market, as they say," he said, carefully watching her reaction. Instead of avoiding his eyes and looking upset, she looked him back directly in the eyes and smiled. With her smile, Jackson noticed the cloud that had been cast in her eyes the past few months seemed significantly lightened.

"You hear right," Lexie responded playfully, tipping her head to the side and biting her lip. "Any bidders I should know about?" Jackson leaned his side on the counter, putting a hand on his hip.

"Well, maybe. I'm sure they wouldn't want to move in too early. Don't women need time to process relationships or something? I think it usually includes ice cream, bad movies, and wine."

"That sounds perfect. See you at eight." Lexie grinned and gave him a kiss on the cheek. As she walked away, Jackson felt some heat rise in his cheeks as well as his excitement about that night.

Instead of going to the on-call room for a nap, Cristina walked over to the ER with an extra coffee. She stood by the counter while watching Owen from a distance. He had an intense looks on his face, giving orders to residents and studying charts carefully before scribbling down notes. Some women loved poetry, some women loved bulging muscles, but Cristina had found she was a sucker for a man who could run the hell out of an ER. It was incredible that he could go from intense, hardcore ER surgeon to doting, loving boyfriend in seconds. Just watching him, in combination with her new knowledge about this being the same man with a ring hidden under the kitchen sink, gave her the kind of rush she hadn't felt since the beginning of their relationship.

Once things had slowed down a little bit, she leaned against the counter seductively.

"Hey, Red," she called. Owen looked around and when he spotted her, a bemused smile reached his face.

"Hey yourself," he growled, walking over and planting a kiss on her. Cristina put her arms around him and just looked at him for a moment. Apparently it was a moment too long because Owen seemed to notice. His brow furrowed. "Is everything okay?"

"Oh yeah, yes." Cristina recovered, extracting her hands and smoothing out his scrub top to busy her hands. "I just brought you some coffee." He saw the coffee on the counter and smiled.

"Oh, you're the best." Cristina waved a hand nonchalantly and smiled up at him again.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he said, bemused at her good humor.

"You make me smile, isn't that a good thing?"

"You have some heart surgery today or something, don't you?" Cristina must have had "something suspicious" plastered on her forehead or something. So she took the out.

"Yes, actually…in a of couple hours. Always puts me in a good mood." It wasn't a lie. It wasn't a big surgery, but it was cardio.

"I know you…you don't walk around with smiles like that for nothing." Owen's pager went off and he sighed. "Five minutes out…here we go again." Owen gave her another kiss. "Keep up this good mood and I'll have a surprise for you tonight." Cristina felt like someone had lit a fire inside of her—a crazy mix of excitement and anxiety. Thank goodness it would be tonight, she couldn't take much more of this breathless anticipation.

"Pass the popcorn?" Mark grabbed the bowl and passed it to Callie as she sat on the couch next to him.

"Bathroom. Be back in thirty seconds. Time me!" Mark called, running to the bathroom. Callie laughed

"That better not include hand-washing time or no more popcorn for you," Callie replied. She rolled her eyes and her eyes fell back on the television screen. On it was a mother complaining about how expensive diapers were and how whatever brand had the best leak-guard. She felt a pang in her chest as she saw the little baby crawling slowly on the carpet with a big smile plastered on his face. Before she knew it, she felt a few tears splash down her face as she saw the mother laughing and snuggling up to the baby in the closing shot.

"How'd I do?"

"What? Oh—" Callie quickly dabbed her eyes with her sleeve and cleared her throat. "Thirty-five seconds…"

"Damn…oh well—hey, you okay? What happened?"

"Just this stupid diaper commercial," Callie said, her voice shaky. "I'm sorry…I know I'm a mess. I just never realized just how much I wanted a child until the whole Arizona fiasco. Now it's all I can think about, and my dream is even farther out of my reach than before. I'm starting to wonder if it'll ever happen."

"Hey, it's okay…" Mark said calmly, putting an arm around Callie as she snuggled into his shoulder. "I actually understand. I know I don't look it, but I'm no spring chicken…and seeing those people walk away with my grandson…" Mark's eyes were unfocused as he thought back to that day months ago. He felt the same pang in his heart all over again. Callie looked up and gave his chest a light rub and sighed. A few moments later she let out a noise of amusement.

"Mark, why aren't we married with lots of kids running around here? Life would be easy. Why can't things be easy?"

"I have no idea, babe." They both sighed as their unfocused eyes faced the television, Callie's supposedly rhetorical question still hanging heavily in the room.

Cristina lay on the couch in her apartment, fighting the urge to go back into their room and stare at the ring some more. It was so classic and simple…so much so that the thought of wearing it didn't bother her except for how it got in the way of surgery. Cristina wondered how long that ring had been in there. Maybe he had just put it there the other day. Maybe he'd had it for weeks…months. Maybe it was the ring he'd given Beth. She felt a chill run down her spine at the thought. No…there's no way her and the Pink One and I could ever like the same ring. And Owen wouldn't recycle.

What was more likely was that Owen had gotten this ring for her—and only her. Maybe it was passed down his family for year and years and years. Cristina felt her heart rate quicken at the thought. It absolutely seemed like the kind of thing he would do. And at least it beat the hell out of that stupid Burke family choker that lived up to its name all too well. She jumped as she heard a key enter the lock and the door swing open. Owen had a small brown bag and a big smile on his face.

"Hey, beautiful." He turned off the TV and sat on the edge of the couch next to her. Cristina sat up against the armrest, and she gave him a kiss. She found herself just bursting to say she'd marry him. She almost felt the need to hold her breath to keep her from blurting it out. "Wait, I'm burning up in this shirt." She watched as Owen stood up and continued back to the room, pulling off his shirt. Cristina was momentarily distracted from the ring as she watched his muscles gliding gracefully with each sway of his body.

Owen returned a minute later with one of his classically tight-fitting shirts. He had washed his face too.

"So, where's my big surprise?" Cristina asked, her eyes bright.

"What…I'm not enough?" Cristina raised an eyebrow with a smirk.

"You coming home is hardly a surprise." Owen sighed and smiled back at her.

"I guess not. Well, you'll get your surprise in a few minutes. But I just wanted to tell you that I love how happy you were all day. I'm sure the days off helped, but I'm just really happy and I don't ever want to take our time together for granted." Owen smiled at her and gave her another kiss, a deeper one. The tingles of anticipation were coursing through Cristina's body, making the touch of his mouth cause her to all but explode. He pulled away and Cristina, with an irrepressible smile on her face, looked expectantly down at Owen's hands. They were empty.

"That's quite the little speech…" she said, quietly. Owen shrugged and turned slightly red.

"Well…when you were down in the ER today…you were so happy and it was contagious. It brightened the rest of my day. And I wanted you to know that. You should know these things. I'm using my words, see?"

"Huh, well, it feels like you're buttering me up." Cristina smiled, pulling him closer by the neck of his shirt. Owen snorted.

"You don't need buttering anymore. I've already snagged you."

"Is that so?" Cristina said with mock indignation, as Owen nodded with fake solemnity. Owen then laughed and started kissing the crook of her neck. As usual, Cristina fidgeted slightly and giggled at the tickle of his beard. "And the surprise? What is it, if it isn't an attempt to butter me up?" she asked, waiting for the small blue box to pop out.

"Oh…well, you may not need butter, but you do need wine. I got the '05 Bouscat you keep saying you wanted to taste…which hopefully won't end up on the carpet like this did." Owen said, his eyes looking at the red wine stain on the carpet from that morning. "I'll pour us a couple glasses." Owen got up and rummaged in the drawers for the wine opener. While he did, Cristina fought against the cold disappointment that hit her as she realized the ring was still hidden snugly in the bucket under the sink—right where she had left it.

The truth is, we don't know what we want until we want it. In fact, we might even think it's the one thing that we don't want. But that's self-discovery, that's change, that's life. So it's no surprise that when we finally do discover what it is we want, we'll stop at nothing to go out there and get it.