He was a monster, his heavy steps made the roads crack and his roar was bloodcurdling to say the least. They stared at him with their wide eyes and they were trembling so hard he could almost feel the vibrations. At first he didn't know why they feared him, he never knew, but he didn't put much thought into that. There were far more important things to be concerned with and he stepped on, walking through streets emptying before him and smashing windows where he had seen them peeking at him. They were so afraid and it made him angry. He didn't know what made them this afraid but every time he looked back his footprints where pools of blood and he suspected it might have been his own fault all along…

"Eren, wake up." Levis voice was slightly muffled by the syringe he held between his lips. He cursed himself for not throwing away the empty bottles, now he had to search through the entire medical box to find one that still had some liquid in it. It was two A.M. and time for Erens medication. Even hours, six times a day. Levi had found it hard in the beginning, to never get a full nights rest, but he had adapted. He still didn't like waking Eren up, a growing boy should have his nine hours of sleep undisturbed, but to give him the shot while he slept had never proven successful. Eren always woke up with such a jolt that the needle would break off. "Time for your shot."

They were gathering to fight him. Their little swords sharp and ready to cut in his titan flesh. Carve in it. Take samples of it. He would swat them off like flies when they tried climbing him, stomp on them when they pointed their swords at him. They looked so angry with his existence, with his wrecking of their homes but he had never wanted to destroy anything. It happened because they were afraid and he couldn't handle it. But he could handle anger, it was their fear that sliced harder than their swords. He had seen this scene so often, so many times before. They were gathering around him, shouting at him and not understanding that he wasn't the real problem. At least he didn't want to be…

"Eeereeen…" Levi was never in a good mood when he had to wake up that early. When the sun still lay asleep he should too. He softly patted at Erens shoulder and tried to wake him up but Eren had one of his nightmares, Levi knew the signs of it. His furrowed eyebrows and that light panting, clenching both of his fists even though it hurt to move the deformed one. "Eren, wake up. The sooner you wake up the sooner we can go back to sleep…"

He was all alone in darkness, not a monster anymore but stuck and unable to move. Attached and pressing on him, the dark and warm flesh was pulsating. Moving softly and embracing him but he felt as if he was suffocating. When he tried to move the flesh was holding him back, everything was so heavy. He was so heavy. Sometimes he thought he could just stop moving all together…

Levi yawned and gently shook Erens shoulders. Maybe he would wake up with ease this time. Maybe this time Levi didn't have to pinch him awake, he disliked doing it because he would always have to pinch so hard it left a small mark. Eren already had so many small marks and Levi noticed they where more of them now, growing up his deformed arm and leg. He sighed, they couldn't go wishing for a cure forever.

Maybe he could stop moving all together. It would be so easy, he would do no destruction if he didn't move. The flesh would embrace him and hold him close. Keeping him safe. Maybe he could just stop…

Eren woke up with a surprised and slightly pained gasp. He tried to focus but everything was so blurry, so confusing. Only when Levi gave his arm a light pat did he know where he was, what he was. A small red mark on his arm told him how heavy he had been sleeping.

"Good, you're finally awake." Levi helped him sit up and stuffed the pillows behind him to keep him that way. He moved from the chair to the bedside and sat down next to him. "It's time for your shot."

Eren, still drowsy from sleeping, nodded and drank from the glass of water Levi offered him. He tried to remember his dream but everything was fuzzy. Maybe that was for the better, Levi always looked a bit concerned when he had been dreaming nightmares. When he was done drinking he held out his arm for Levi.

"Do you remember what you were dreaming about?" Levi asked while he was dabbing antiseptic where Eren would take the shot, that area was already freckled with earlier shots. When Eren shook his head Levi nodded and tapped the syringe, pushed the plunger to get rid of air bubbles. "Maybe that's for the better, it didn't seem like a very pleasant dream."

"They never are." Eren muttered, trying not to flinch when the needle penetrated his skin. He was getting pretty used to it but it still hurt. The part when he felt the liquid was the worst though and he swallowed, clenching his teeth.

Levi hummed and when the syringe was empty he pulled out the needle and wiped away the little drop of blood. "We should have you see some happier movies instead of those monster flicks. Maybe that would get you to sleep better." Even though the TV was working there was nothing new to show, except for some boring talk shows. Eren saw the same movies Levi sometimes sneaked in on cinemas to see when he was a kid. Even if the world was slowly rebuilding and gaining a steady ground to stand on, those small pieces of former every day life were lost on them. It would probably take years to get them back.

"I'm not scared of movies, I'm not a baby!" Eren followed Levis hands with his eyes. They were rough and hard, callous at his thumbs, but they could be gentle. Levi never talked about his past with Eren, said that it wasn't important and that they should focus on their life as it was now. There wasn't much to focus on though, Eren thought bitterly, except for the titanium disease and how shitty the world was. Levi always tried to keep a light tone but his criticism on society sneaked through anyways.

Levi chuckled, always relieved to see sparks of a flame burning in Eren. Eren was a strong boy, he had a rare ability to keep fighting that Levi liked. Levi would never call himself Erens father, that was something he would never steal from the doctor, but he would be proud to call Eren his kid. It was hard not to see him as that too, he had raised him. "Well, you think you can go back to sleep?"

Because of Erens bad sleeping habits he sometimes couldn't go back to sleep after getting his shot. He didn't go to school and the only times he left their apartment was when he had a doctors appointment. If he didn't sleep during the night he could easily sleep when Levi was at work. This time though, Eren simply nodded and yawned. Levi removed the pillows and helped him lay down, Eren could do it on his own but he was tired and Levi didn't mind helping.

"Try to dream something nicer this time around." Levi ruffled his hair and pulled the blanket over him. "Like ponies or something."

Eren was quick asleep and Levi watched him for a few minutes to check for nightmares or complications from the medicine. When he realised he had almost fallen asleep in the chair he left the room and walked towards his own, picking up toys and things and placing them in their right places. He still hadn't told Eren about the amputation, wanted to plan it out and make sure that he told him in the right way. It seemed like it was getting too late for that now though, with those marks blossoming up his limbs they couldn't take the risk of waiting anymore. Levis chest was heavy with emotions alike those he had when he had hid in his apartment during the time of the pandemic. Eren needed the amputation.