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"It's a pleasure to be back on the force." Erwin Smith wore a proud smile with his tailored suit, not a hair out of place. He stood with a straight back and the coffee cup he had been offered as a welcome gift he held in a strong grip. Everything about him shone with the rightfulness of a leader and it was obvious he would handle the job perfectly. Everything was right about him except for his arm. Only his left one remained.

Levi wouldn't have cared much about their new employee, as the world rebuilt they got lots of much needed recruits. The faces Levi had tried to remember in the beginning faded quickly as they were positioned in other stations or placed in nightshifts. It had gotten too tiresome to remember everyone he would hardly ever meet again so Levi had stopped caring about them unless he was sure they would work close to him. Erwin was an exception and it was mostly because of that missing arm. It could have been an accident, something that had been gone for a long time, but Levi was sure it was titanium that had taken it. He could see the same small red marks close to Erwins neck as the ones Eren had on his arm and leg.

Erwin had prepared a short speech about his return but Levis head was too filled with thoughts about the disease and amputations and what not to pay the speech any attention. He remained leaned back in his chair, reports in his hand and a teacup growing cold on his desk. There had been a few other recruits who had lost limbs because of the disease but almost all of them were self-pitying, asking for reduced working hours and bigger bonuses. Not really the role-models Levi was looking for.

Erwin was a different case. Levi hadn't even noticed the missing arm before he saw that Erwin had to put his papers down to accept his coffee cup. Erwin just seemed so complete even without it. If he could go on like that, maybe Eren could too…?

"I hope we'll all get along nicely." Erwin finished and the officers close to him smiled, agreeing. He was pointed and shown to the desk next to Levis, the one Levi had used for some stacks of paper he now quickly removed, and Erwin flashed him one of his standard greeting smiles. Only when he saw Levis eyes did his smile falter the least, now he showed a more genuine and slightly amused one.

"So, are you my new partner then?" Erwin sat down at his desk, putting his cup down on the table neither drink coaster nor napkin, and he reached over with some papers Levi had forgotten to pick up. "Would you mind introducing yourself to me?"

"Levi Ackerman, but don't bother with any "Mr Ackerman"-shit." Levi had never been described as a person with a pleasant first impression on others and sometimes he bordered on rude, even with people of authority. This was one of those times. "What happened to your arm?"

Erwins eyes widened and he let out a breathy laughter, leaning back a bit in his chair and trying to see if Levi was being serious with his question. When he saw Levis stern look and fingers impatiently tapping on his desk he cleared his throat. "You know what happened to it. I see the way you are looking at the skin marks on my neck, you know it was the disease. If that bothers you, please don't hesitate about asking for a new partner."

Erwins voice held a tone Levi knew all too well. He had heard it with almost every survivor who had gotten all too used to being rejected and feared. When Eren spoke with new nurses or hospital teachers he also had it and Levi hated that a young boy had developed that tone in his speech.

"It doesn't bother me." Levi didn't hurry with his response, still Erwin seemed relieved with it. "Why did you decide to cut it off?"

Erwin was seemingly confused about Levis interest in the subject but instead of cutting the discussion short he takes a sip of coffee and smiles. "The decision wasn't one I was willing to make but I really had no choice if I wanted to live. As you can see the disease was spreading up to my neck and once it gets to your spine there's no saving you. The choice between an arm and my life was easy."

"Yeah…" Levi knew what Erwin was talking about but he wasn't sure Eren would. He hadn't actually given Eren a chance to accept the amputation or decline it yet. Eren was a strong boy but amputation was a big thing to handle. "How is it like to loose it?"

Erwin thought about the question for a while before laughing a bit. "Well, I guess it's a bit hard in the beginning, waking up and trying to stretch out your arm to turn of the alarm only to notice there's no arm to stretch. Clothing was a bit complicated first, buttons for example, and many things that require two hands take some time get used to." His smile stiffened. "There was a time I seriously considered giving up but I got over that quickly."

"How?" This was the first conversation Levi had had with an adult in a while that hadn't been about his job or Erens disease. He wasn't used to it and he himself got a bit irritated at the way he talked.

Erwins smile widened and he had some pride in his eyes. "I thought about humanity. We lost so many and if I died too the death toll would rise, nothing else. If I lived I could actually do something to help humanity get back on it's feet. I'm no doctor or researcher but I can protect the people while they find the answer and I can keep them safe when they go to research it. That's a good reason to live, isn't it?"

"Sure is…" But how would a child understand that? A child who had never had a friend in his own age and had been treated like he was nothing else but a bearer of disease. How would he understand what humanity was worth when the side he had seen was so rotten?

They sat in silence for a while before Erwin got up to get more coffee, he looked at Levi and smiled. "You're an odd case, aren't you?"

Levi flinched and looked up at Erwin with suspicion in his eyes. He had heard things like that before, with him being weird for various reasons. He had never liked it and he was well prepared to make Erwin drop the coffee cup with a sharp hit. "How come?" he asked with badly hidden bitterness in his voice.

"You don't pity me and you aren't disgusted or scared either. You're straightforward to the point of being rude." Erwins smirked. "I like that."

As he turned and walked away to get his coffee, Levi stared at his back with more questions echoing in his head than before. Fuck that man and fuck his smile, he thought and turned to his desk, started working at the neat stack of papers in front of him. He felt no closer to a solution than before but somehow the lump in his chest had gotten a bit lighter.

Erens eyes were wide with shock and disbelief. Somewhere deep down he had known it was bound to happen but he had refused the thought, pushed it back, and now it hit him hard. His little fist tightened around the crutch handle and he stepped back with his healthy leg. "Amputation…that's cutting them off, right?"

Levi nodded, he had gotten down on his knee like he always did when he had to discuss something serious with Eren. "Cutting them off, your left arm at the shoulder and your left leg at the knee. After they've done that you'll be free of the disease, but only if you do it soon, before it spreads."

"Then I'll loose my arm and my leg. They won't be fixed." Erens voice was hard to interpret, he tried to keep himself strong and controlled. He had grown up with a man who only seemed to show anger and irritation and that had rubbed off on him.

"If we wait for a cure it can spread. Go to your spine and stuff. This seems to be the only way we can get you out of it unless we keep on wishing for a miracle." Levi glanced at the grotesque deformation that was Erens leg before meeting his eyes again. "Getting your leg and arm removed wont be the end of you, you know."

Eren furrowed his eyebrows, he tightened his fist harder. "Yeah, but how am I gonna do anything?! How am I gonna play with other kids and run around with them if I don't have a leg?" His body was shaking with anger and disappointment. "How am I gonna be normal?!"

Levi was silent for a few of Erens panting breaths before he talked. "There's nothing normal anymore, Eren, and you know that. Everyone knows that but they keep clinging to whatever illusion they have of it because they are to stupid to move on and live in the world we have now. You know that and you need to loose your arm and leg so you can make the best out of your life. We need to move on and stop clutching at that miracle, Eren."

"I'm…" Eren was still angry but he pushed it down and turned around. "Goodnight, Levi." His voice trembled but Levi knew he wasn't angry at him, he was angry at the titanium eating his body. Levi helped Eren get in bed and patted his hair before he turned out the light in Erens room and went to sit in the living room couch. He knew he himself was still wishing for that miracle, no matter how deep he buried it.