A/N: Another 4k, just in time for the weekend! I'm not sure how big the next update will be since the next couple of weekends will be a bit insane, but I'll try to get something posted by Friday. Until then, enjoy and thank you for reading!
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According to Will's brand new processors, he had exactly half a second to realise he was slagged before he found himself on the ground, staring up into the cloudy afternoon sky of Diego Garcia as Ironhide came into view.
"And that's why you're going to learn close combat," the dark mech drawled. "If you hadn't known human close combat, I might've let you off the hook, but knowing the wrong way to fight is even worse than not knowing anything at all."
Which was true, Will had realised that the moment he had remembered – too late – that he wasn't human anymore and human close combat techniques wouldn't do a slag of good when you were taller than just about anyone and had wings to boot. Which was about a second before he found himself on the ground and the Seeker stunned into silence in the back of his mind. Oh, sure, Ratchet had manhandled it a little – or Seeker-handled, possibly, Will wasn't sure – but this was Ironhide, and Ironhide, according to Seeker-logic, was obviously not supposed to attack. It was mate, after all.
Will had ignored that and decided to let the Seeker keep sulking and refrain from explaining the facts of life to it until it had calmed down a little.
Ironhide was still watching him, then held out a hand, and Will grasped it and got back on his feet. Nothing serious showed on his damage reports – scratches, for the most parts, and a small dent near one hip – and then he groaned slightly as he realised something else. "Different balance, different weight, different hands, different built, different size... slag. I'm going to have to start over from scratch."
We are a Seeker, the presence in his mind objected as the words made their way through its shock. This is not right.
Images of wings against concrete, scratches, dents, broken joints and shattered sensor nodes as the Seeker made its point, and Will really didn't care. Words wouldn't help, he knew that much, and so he shifted through memories of Mission City and latched on to the image of Megatron's Second in Command tearing through cars with what might have been called a lack of finesse, but still in a definite show of skills and strength.
Starscream learned, Will retorted. You can't count on always being able to fly away.
Silence from the Seeker as it retreated to sulk again, and Will turned his attention back to Ironhide.
"Seekers aren't programmed for this sort of thing. You've got wings for a reason, but I'm not sending you out there without a fragging good grasp of this," the weapons specialist said and left no room for arguments. "You will learn, Lennox. The Seeker'll object, because those things will complain about anything that doesn't involve flying, and I really don't care. This is for its own good, even if it's too stupid to get it. You will report for training two hours a day, every day, until you get it right."
Will straightened slightly and ignored the firm sulking from the presence in his mind. "Yes, sir."
And while it sucked to have to start over, at least there was something familiar about ground-based fighting, and he could live with that.
He hoped.
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Two hours later had him seriously reconsidering his initial estimate. Everything hurt, wings more than anything, and the Seeker part of him had gone from sulking to angry to frightened and then finally silent as it simply watched and let Will handle it all, a peculiar sort of morbid fascination starting to show near the end of their lesson. It wasn't real curiosity, but at least it was better than a running commentary whenever he found himself on the ground and at Ironhide's mercy again, and he had almost groaned when he had realised that not even two hours of getting their afts kicked was enough to keep the Seeker from responding to those particular situations.
Once, with Will on his back and Ironhide pulled down with him in a last-ditch attempt to get even, the heating fans had even turned on, and the Seeker had at least had the good grace to feel vaguely embarrassed at that.
Strong, it murmured in response to Will's bewildered thought directed at it. Dominant. Control.
Will had ignored that, too, along with Ironhide's smirk, and gone right back to getting his aft kicked like he was supposed to, Seeker instincts be damned. He might not be programmed for it but stubbornness could do a lot, anyway, and two hours later had him slowly and painfully grasping the beginnings of Seeker-style close combat, and a whole new appreciation for his instructor.
It had been different as a human. Every single one of the Cybertronians were big when you were human, even Arcee and her sisters, and relative size had never really been that much of a worry to Will. When dealing with 'Cons, it didn't matter if you were dealing with twenty or thirty feet of mech. You'd be equally dead if they stepped on you, and at most the smaller ones might be only slightly easier to take out. It was different as a Seeker. Ironhide was significantly smaller than him now – everyone was, save for Optimus – and he had at least a ton on the dark mech. It didn't change the fact that Ironhide consistently had him on the ground in seconds, and it was only as a mech that Will really started to realise just how good his instructor was. He had always known Ironhide was damn fast and damn competent, but he'd never had the perspective to let him realise just how dangerous the mech was even without his cannons to help. Seekers weren't programmed for ground-based fighting, but it didn't change the fact that he was still taller and heavier than Ironhide and had reflexes to match the breakneck speeds he was capable of now.
Ironhide wasn't just competent, Will realised as the mech called an end to the lesson and helped Will back on his feet. Ironhide was built and programmed for war. It wasn't luck that had let Ironhide become one of the oldest surviving Autobots around that Will knew of. It was skill combined with ruthless brutality when necessary, and not for the first time that day he wondered how many Seekers the mech had been up against in battle.
"You're a Seeker but you're not completely useless on the ground," Ironhide finally said and let go of Will's arm. "You've got Seeker instincts working against you, but that human part knows what it's doing. Listen to it. It's got it right."
Will nodded and subconsciously flexed his wings, testing for damage he was surprised to find wasn't there at all. The wings were obviously a lot less fragile than the Seeker believed... but then, that did make sense. A Seeker was nothing without its wings. Protecting them would be first priority, whether that protection came from programmed concern from the Seeker or a wing-construction that was a lot more durable than it gave the impression of.
Some stunned sensor nodes and scratched paint, but the rest of the damage was all on his body rather than the wings, and he ignored the silent sulking of the Seeker in the back of his mind. Annoyed, probably, that it hadn't been right in its doomsday scenario about learning that stuff.
At least the graphic images were mostly gone and the ones that remained were focused solely on Ironhide, and it wasn't until he'd had most of a day to think clearly that he really noticed how much of his mental strength had been taken up fighting the various aspects of the Seeker.
It was trying to adapt to him now. It was honest-to-Primus genuinely trying to compromise and the realisation left Will baffled. It was a compromise made under threat of extreme measures, but it was still a compromise and it was clearly trying even when Will himself was struggling with giving up any bit of his humanity in return.
Clawed fingers flexed as he watched them, still not completely used to the sight, and then he looked up again and finally asked the questions that had been lingering at the edge of his processors since Ratchet had given him the all-clear after his earlier flight.
"How is Sarah?" Quiet, unsure – and didn't that sound completely wrong from a Seeker – but the presence in his mind was as quiet as Will felt, uncertain worry and a distinct feeling of wrongness from being separated from someone it liked, and underneath it all, a clumsy attempt at understanding the difference between Will's pain and the feelings the Seeker itself went through, and Primus, but the thing was trying. Clumsily, uneasily, but trying.
Ironhide hesitated slightly, almost too shortly to register at all, and then led the way as they slowly made their way towards their base again. "She is strong."
Which Will knew, and slag it, it wasn't what he asked. On some level he could understand what they were doing. The Seeker was young and inexperienced and very likely to forget that humans were fragile, and Will, however much he might try, was still off-balance and unsure about everything and going from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other in the blink of an eye, all depending on how much control the Seeker and the human had respectively. On some level, he could even appreciate it. He was unstable, mentally and otherwise, and Sarah deserved to talk to someone who wasn't a basket-case in the making, and even if that wasn't an issue, they could probably both benefit from time to actually come to some degree of acceptance about what had happened before they talked.
Most of him, though, was torn between impatience and restlessness and worry and bone-deep guilt, and all he wanted was to see her without Ironhide or Ratchet standing guard in case anything happened, talk to her without an audience, and give her the freedom to react in whatever way she had to, without trying to keep it buried because someone was watching and it was private stuff that even Ironhide wasn't going to be privy to. They had to talk, face to face, because that was the only right way to do it.
She had left the runway again by the time Ratchet had finished Will's check-up, and Will understood. They needed to talk, and being so close and still unable to share a single sentence without having someone standing right next to them as a precaution was just a painful reminder of the restrictions still put on Will more than it was actual comfort in the presence of someone loved.
And his emotions were probably showing through the bond with Ironhide, but it wasn't something he was willing to rein in and he doubted he would really be able to if needed, and if the mech noticed anything, he didn't let it show.
"How long?" Will finally asked, and Ironhide didn't need to ask what he meant.
"Ratchet's decision." He paused, and there was a hint of regret in his voice and body-language. "It's improving, I'm told."
Improving. Which really told Will nothing more than it was heading in the right direction, and gave him no actual useful knowledge past that, and the Seeker in his mind stayed very, very silent, and Will couldn't even bring himself to blame it for their instability. It was young, it was confused, it had been put in an entirely new world, and it had no experience with life whatsoever. It ran on core programming. Blaming it would be like blaming an overly-enthusiastic puppy for being clumsy. It wasn't its fault. Whatever other faults Seekers had as a build, it really meant no harm. Whatever other faults it had, it wasn't its fault that they had all had to learn from scratch and do their best through guesswork because there was no recordings of anything like it ever happening before, and even Ratchet had to learn the hard way as things progressed.
He needed to talk to Sarah, and she wasn't the only one, either. The rest of the humans had been kept away, too. He hadn't been closer to an actual human being than thirty feet since he had woken up as the completely wrong species, and even that had been Sarah and had also been enough to make Ironhide visibly tense. The rest... Epps was probably ready to tear his head off for making them worry and not being able to exchange more than a few words with them before being dragged off again for check-ups or training or for security reasons, Sam was probably pacing a hole through the floor based on Bumblebee's behaviour, and he tried really, really hard not to think about his tiny daughter who had grown up so fast and whom he wasn't sure he would ever be comfortable being close to again in a body as large and dangerous and intimidating as his new one. Adults, at least, had some degree of common sense. Three-year-olds didn't, and even if she did, there was still the question of whether it would be fair to her at all. He needed to talk about that with Sarah, too. Daddy was on a mission, that was the excuse so far, but sooner or later that excuse would run out and they'd have to make a decision, and his spark twisted painfully at the knowledge that it might just be the easiest thing for everyone to write William Lennox off as dead and keep the truth tightly under wrap. Sarah could keep a secret. So could NEST and Sam.
His emotions must have been painfully clear through the bond, because a moment later he felt a tentative presence at his end of it, followed by emotions that were far more soothing that he had imagined their weapons specialist capable of. He tensed for a moment, not sure about it at all, and then let the emotions flood his processors and chase away the worst of the darkness and felt the Seeker murmur soothingly in response.
Ironhide kept walking, not skipping as much as a beat, and Will slowly released the worst of the tensions in his frame. Part of him felt guilty for trying to make reality just go away, but the larger part of him knew that it was probably for the better. It was limited how much you could deal with at a time before it all just collapsed around you.
"Thank you," he finally said quietly, and Ironhide put a hand on his arm, and Will was almost too preoccupied to notice the lack of little electric charges at the touch. Almost. They had been missing all day, and he really, really owed Ratchet a gift-wrapped stack of high-grade for stepping in the way he had.
Ironhide didn't speak and Will didn't answer, and together they made their way towards the hangars again in comfortable silence as the Seeker purred quietly in the back of his mind.
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"They seem to have worked out some sort of a truce for the moment," Ratchet reported to his Prime later that evening, after finishing the last check-up of their Seeker for the day. Seekers weren't as fragile as they looked, but Ironhide had a very hands-on approach to teaching and there was no need to risk anything. As expected, there had been only minor injuries and Ratchet had fixed what needed to be and then sent him away again. He knew there was something Will wanted to ask, knew there was something gnawing on his processors, but their new Cybertronian had stayed silent and Ratchet hadn't asked. There was any number of questions it could be, but Will would ask when he was ready and Ratchet wasn't going to push him.
"They did stay within the limitations of their alt-mode," Optimus Prime agreed but his voice still had a worry in it that had become familiar to Ratchet over the last few days whenever the topic turned to their new Seeker. "Exactly within specifications, in fact."
"But they obeyed orders, in both letter and spirit," Ratchet pointed out. "They reached a truce. I had a talk with it. I've dealt with Seekers before, Optimus. I do have some experience with them and I made sure it understood the situation. They obeyed their orders for the full three hours and didn't once try to find any loopholes. That's not the Seeker at work, that's Lennox. He was special operations before NEST claimed him. Being competitive is in their nature."
Optimus Prime nodded and seemed to consider that. "Do we have any idea of the nature of that truce?" he asked, just a bit dryly. "I'm not blind, Ratchet. I noticed he didn't have to spend part of his focus today on not letting the Seeker show its mating displays."
Ratchet's optics shuttered in an imitation of a human blink of surprise. "You're familiar with them?"
It wasn't common knowledge outside of the Seekers' own personal circles, hadn't even been particularly common knowledge even in some medical circles, and certainly not in Autobot circles after the War had really started in full and with the majority of the Seekers on the Decepticons' side.
There was gentle amusement in Optimus Prime's voice as he answered, probably reading his surprise as easily as a data transfer. "We weren't always at war, Ratchet. There was once when a Seeker was not necessarily a likely enemy."
Ah.
Ratchet blinked again in bemusement and then politely changed the topic. The time before the War was a painful topic to most mechs, and while he didn't know if the same was the case with his Prime's experiences with Seekers, there was no need to risk anything for the sake of simple curiosity. "Based on his behaviour around Ironhide, I strongly suspect that part of their truce involves him. He controls himself well, but there were signs that those mating displays were still present around Ironhide." He paused, then shrugged. "As long as it keeps the human part in control, I'm willing to give them the benefit of doubt. The Seeker part is strong and it's better for all involved that human and Seeker reach an agreement on their own rather than have an outside force push it on them. For the moment, it seems stable. If it continues like that, I would be willing to let him move around unsupervised soon. Him and his human bonded are both growing restless and worried. It would be good if he could be trusted around humans soon, for him as well as them."
"I concur," Optimus agreed, as Ratchet had expected he would. "Anything else?"
"Beyond the fact that there is nothing at all like this in any sort of medical records and we're essentially learning as we go along?" Ratchet said dryly. "It's unfamiliar ground to all of us, but we're trying. There will be compromises, about quite a few things. Seekers weren't intended for ground-based combat, but the human part seems strong enough to force it to learn, anyway, and with some luck an un-Seeker-like activity such as that will strengthen the human side. On the other hand, he will most likely never be able to fly with the same reckless abandon as true Seekers. Even if he gave over control to the Seeker side completely, there would most likely always be that small piece of human self-preservation arguing with the more death-defying stunts."
He hesitated, then continued. "He is good, Optimus, but he will never truly be on par with Megatron's Seekers. Starscream has no equal, Skywarp has his teleporting abilities, and Thundercracker would not be in their trine if he could not keep up with them to some degree. Lennox will argue with that point, because he's a Seeker now and they hate admitting weakness, so I'm telling you now, Prime. However skilled he might look from the ground, he's still going to come out second best if he ever goes one on one against one of the real Seekers."
Ratchet fell silent and their Prime nodded slowly as he considered the warning. It wasn't one Ratchet was happy to have to give – Seekers were useful, but Seekers also had a remarkable arrogance and lack of common sense and the complete inability to face their own weaknesses sometimes – but it was a warning that was uncomfortably necessary. The human NEST teams all had the ability to disregard their own safety when needed, because no one sane really wanted to sign up for a job like that, but it also meant that there was no real leash on the Seeker. Even if Lennox knew the limitations of his new body when pitted against genuine Seekers, there was a very real risk that he would disregard those limitations if he felt the situation called for it.
"Your warning has been noted," Optimus Prime finally said, quiet and serious, and Ratchet nodded in acknowledgement, because there was nothing else he could do. He had passed on the warning, and while he strongly hoped said warning would never be necessary, endless years of war had taught him better. Desperate times sometimes called for desperate measures and they would need every mech in the field. All they really could do was stress the danger of the Seekers to Lennox and hope that even if he chose to disregard the warning, one of them would be around to order him to stand down if he did anything too unnecessarily dangerous.
"I'll keep an eye on him tomorrow," Ratchet said and changed the topic again. "If he still looks stable, I will let him interact with the humans on base again. Other than that... nothing. His scans look good, his Energon levels are kept within recommended ranges, and even Ironhide's lesson didn't rattle anything in his processors. Physically speaking, he is in perfect condition."
"Good news, at least," Optimus said wryly. "To be completely honest, I had started to question the wisdom and kindness of Primus in this, however much I appreciate another comrade to fight on our side in this war." He sighed before he continued, another habit picked up from exposure to humans, and then shook his head slightly. "Keep an eye on both of them. From what you have told me, the Seeker meant no harm. Hopefully, they will work this out on their own. If not..."
He trailed off and Ratchet picked up before his leader could do so himself.
"If not," the medic interrupted, his voice deliberately harder than needed, "I will favour the human. I know they both deserve the chance to exist but if it comes to that, I will favour the human. He has proven himself. The Seeker hasn't." A pause, enough to see the slight shift in his leader's stance, guilt and relief obvious if you knew what to look for, and Ratchet continued in a kinder voice. "I am your Chief Medical Officer, Optimus, and in this case, the choice is mine. He is my patient. You make enough hard decisions on our behalves already. Let me make this one for you."
Optimus Prime nodded, silent gratitude in the motion, and Ratchet snorted slightly. "Now that that's settled... go recharge before you collapse on your feet. You've worried too much the past days. It shows. That's my order as your CMO, too."
And with a sharp nod in greeting, Ratchet turned and left before his Prime could object. There were still things to be done, still questions to be answered, but it was heading in the right direction, at least, and that was good enough for now.