Chapter 34: Summer vacations

10:23 AM (Japan Time), Monday July the 8th…

"… Man! The film was fun!"

"Found cha!"

"Oh my. Tozukana – san. It has been a long time, my lady."

"Stop with the Edo Era show. What have cha been up to? Cha can't say online course because it's already July!"

"Helping Boss in one little thing or another… But we did do that strategy to shut down that gang with the fighting roosters, right?"

"Sheesh. True. I could KO two jerks! That doesn't change that cha always pop up whenever cha want to."

"Is there a rule saying when we must show up?"

"Sheesh. That's…!"

"See, Joanne – chan… Before blurting out random complains try to do some background research, will you?"

Kage came out of his room in the Golden Star HQ only to be confronted by Tozukana in the corridor; he pointed out the flaws on her accusations, and Lily rolled her eyes while Andy remained silent.

"Cha! Vampire fan! What have cha been doing, huh?"

"Huh? Me? Vampire fan? Tell that to Shade Man and Dark Man! Will you, Tozukana – san? Just because my eyes' irises are a mix that doesn't mean I'm a vampire fan." He defended himself.

"Cha have been to a casino?"

"Casino? Me? I'm not even 16! And the legal age is 20!"

"Joanne – chan! Why won't you accept that they're just doing normal things? Why do you have to look for a conspiracy everywhere?"

"That's what I'd like to ask too! Miss!" Kage sighed.

"My aunt says men are always thinking about being above you so cha have to remind them who's in charge!"

"No offense to your aunt, Tozukana – san, but… Would that apply to the other members by extension?" Kage asked.

"Oh damn." She cursed.

"SEE? Do you want to get scolded by the secretary AGAIN?"

"Hell no!" She snapped.

"Then BEHAVE! Be an adult! Aren't you one?"

"I am, damn them all!"

"WHAT is this SCANDAL?" A commanding voice demanded from close by.

"Oh shit."

"Hmpf! You brought that into yourself."

"You again. Explain."

The secretary had showed up; Kage and Andy stepped back as Tozukana directed an annoyed glare at her but couldn't remain like that for too long, given how she broke into sweat and also stepped back.

"That man! That man's too suspicious!"

"Kage? Suspicious of what?"

"Of screwing up with bitches!"

"Not again! Why cannot you think of something else? Kage is a man who knows his place. He has his own honor and reputation to defend. If he comes and goes then so be it. He has his life. No – one is obliged to remain in this HQ. If you do not feel like abiding by the rules which are here to ensure civilized behavior you can pack and go home."

"But my aunt says that…!"

"No offense to such a person, but… I doubt that she has anything to do with this. We are speaking about you and not your aunt!"

"Yeah, that's it!" Lily sighed.

"You try to use her as an excuse! Your own problem is that you are paranoid and have your own frustrations, which you take out on Kage for no reason. He has done a good job insofar. He never says he is above you or has criticized your acts insofar." The secretary continued.

"Oh come on! Save me the prosecutor's speech!"

"Maybe Vice President Noir will remind you that there are forces trying to discredit Golden Star. Their desperate tricks have failed insofar. However, if word of this comes out then they shall use you as an excuse! To say we are all a group of fools who only know to infight! That we do not have a positive attitude. Do you really want our reputation, which we have built with so much care over all these months, go down in just two days because of you?" She increased her voice's volume.

"N-no! I don't want to end up being used by some filthy news editors as some cover story!" She cursed.

"Then BEHAVE! You have no proof of what Kage does and vain accusations are a campaign to smear his name. No one else will support you! They already know how you are. I shall speak with Vice President Noir NOW! You need to behave or else you know what shall happen. Do not test my patience for much longer! Else, I shall see to it that you are imposed a new martial law in which you are forbidden to come out of your quarters whenever Kage or someone else you get into a fight with are around. DO YOU GET MY POINT?" The secretary threatened.

"Sheesh! Fine, fine!" Tozukana tried to shoo her away.

"You have been WARNED."

The secretary headed down the corridor for Noir's office door; she knocked on it and Legato opened the door.

"I need to talk with Noir – dono."

"Please come in, ma'am. I heard the discussion. Tozukana – san! Please: be civilized. Rationality, miss! Is it that hard, miss!?" Noir called out.

"Alright, Danna…!"

The door closed and Legato came out, sighing and scratching the back of his helmet.

"So, Andy – kun… You've been busy?"

"I wouldn't say busy… More like playing games or reading comics to kill the time… Trekking across the mountains is also a good way to exercise and shake off tension." He shrugged.

"By the way, Tozukana. Remember that the nanomachines data is read-only and cannot be modified. That's more than enough proof. We've never questioned what YOU do when you're not around. Or did you want us to accuse you of hanging out with men?" Legato lectured.

"Sheesh! T-that's…!"

"You don't want to, right? Then don't bother Kage with your paranoia, will you? As Ms. Secretary pointed out, he's never critiziced your skills as a sniper or said you're inferior to Qong. He has complained about your behavior, of course, but who wouldn't?"

"See? It's called common sense!" Lily fumed.

"GJDHFGHDS! FINE!" She hissed.

She lifted her sniper rifle (which had been aiming SE towards the ground) and aimed it skywards, startling them.

"What are you doing!?" Lily asked.

"Nothing! I thought there was a lizard on the ceiling! Was trying to use the scope to see if I imagined it or not!"

"Huff. Next time just remove the scope from the rifle!" Legato sighed.

"Yeah, I know! Huff! Fine! I'm going to the VR simulator! I need to prove I know my stuff! Let's go, Lily!"

"Alright. At least you're doing something practical…"

"What was that, cha?"

"Nothing! Guess it was the wind!"

"Huff! Finally." Andy sighed in relief.

"Sheesh. I now prefer Qong to her!" Kage grumbled.

"Who wouldn't?" Legato sighed, too.

"Hello there, gentlemen."

"Agoras! It's been ages."

"Victor – kun. You look younger than last time around."

"Teasing me, Andy – kun?"

"Maybe he is!"

Agoras and Victor showed up; Agoras carried a folder with some documents inside of it under his right arm; Victor was animated and lifted an eyebrow at Andy's little joke.

"You'll have to excuse me, but I need to bring these documents to President Hades. Later, gentlemen."

"See ya around the clocking clock!" Victor improvised.

"Patent it! Video Man will beg of you to let him use it for his new movie."

"My. That'd be lovely."

Agoras knocked on the door labeled "President Hades" three times.

"President Hades, sir? The report on the status of "Point H", which you commissioned of me, sir."

"Excellent, gentlemen. Please have a seat."

"Thank you, sir."

"Could it be that we're gonna move?" Kage eagerly asked.

"Sorry. Not yet. We estimate another month's time before all is ready and set. We're arranging for some of the details… Don't worry; we'll make a huge announcement when the time comes!"

"Attention, all hands! Here's the newspaper, Boss… 250Z!"

"Here you have! My! It's got this weird hole in the middle of it again…"

"Yeah… Guess the printing machine is broken!"

"… "Canelo"! You got the newspapers torn off your teeth again!? Idiot!"

"Video Man, Burner Man and Needle Man…?" Andy wondered.

"No doubt. Sounds like Boss' secretary actually gets his newspapers for free by ripping them off a dog carrying it…"

"Why! They've hijacked "Boeing 919" coming from Calasparra!"

"Hmpf! It wasn't mine to begin with…!"

"Wasn't his to begin with… That's his reason for not caring for what happened with that flight?" Kage laughed.

"Don't you remember? Mr. Super is coming back on that flight, you know! We gotta do something!"

"Oho. The plane their boss is at got hijacked!"

"You're right, Boss! Why didn't I think of it before…?"

"That's what I wanted to see: a fast reaction to the news!"

"He'll take a while to come back… If he comes back! I've got time to open his liquor cabinet! He's got an incredibly sweet whisky!"

"The secretary wanted to take profit of that chance to sip off some of their boss' whisky!" Legato laughed.

"Come on! Now you wanna pretend you hate whisky too! I know you love to have some sips from time to time!"

"Heck! The newspaper's hole takes up much of the article… I'll switch on the TV to see if there's any follow-up."

"News-casting Two! The leader of the Berber delegation in the UNA got an abscess in the duodenum which impedes him from seating down so the delegate behind him complains that he can't see and…!"

"By all the…! B-but… What have you done to my TV set?"

"The "Morrazo F. C." is to blame, Boss!"

"The "Morrazo"…?"

"Yeah… Last evening, when they scored their seventh goal! I happened to kick the machine and…"

"He kicked it, fell from the table and broke it! And he had to improve something to make it look like it was working?" Andy deduced.

"Yessir! The only thing left intact was the box! M was behind it and tried to use a puppet to make it look like a newscaster, but ran out of ideas and the Boss caught up. He tossed him a medieval armor axe included. He also threw him a TNT barrel with the fuse lit before." Video Man laughed.

"Brrr! Let's try the radio next…"

"The Andorra Navy has reached the port of Soria to do a courteous visit!"

"Let me guess! The radio's broken too." Suzuki joined them, along with Akemi.

"Tennis news! The Norwegian Cassius Clay defeats the Japanese Monshe Dayan in eight sets and…and…and…" The voice began to falter and grow afraid.

"A Norwegian player beats a Japanese player in a tennis match?" Akemi giggled.

"S-see, Boss! When the TV broke down, I listened to the broadcasting of the match through the radio… When the visiting team scored the ninth goal I tossed it out through the… the window, yeah… Now it just doesn't work that well…"

"Tossed the radio out through the window…!" Suzuki was scandalized at the whole deal.

"Man! You sure can get moody when ya want to!"

"Quick, Repóllez! Lend me your portable radio to listen to the news!"

"Who'd said you were that selfish! Ya don't have enough with your TV, your own radio and the newspapers Mortadelo brings you every day?"

"So the secretary is named Mortadelo." Legato guessed.

"Excellent deduction." Victor joked as he came out of the room.

"I think that someone here will taste some action." Agoras hinted.

"Yeah, man! I didn't say anything weird and… He sure got furious!"

"Don't tell me…! He's got a terrible mood today…"

"…the hijacked plane will refuel in our airport before keeping on with its scheduled trip to Greenland and so…"

"Alright! We gotta use this chance to free Mr. "Super" and catch the hijacker! MORTADELO~!"

"Ya called, Boss?"

"What's with that disguise, you twit?"

"It's nothing! I thought ya called me 'cause ya found the portable TV, which I used to finish seeing the match…"

"My portable TV? What happened to it? MY PORTABLE TV~!" Needle Man screamed in despair.

"Whoa. The portable TV too." Akemi whistled, surprised.

"I knew it! I shouldn't have taken out the canned man disguise!"

"That was so funny, really. I know people get upset over a soccer match but hearing that this "Morrazo F. C." scored over nine goals… It's obviously an exaggeration, I know, but our fellow Mortadelo broke three devices on his outburst of anger!" Kage chuckled.

"… Thus we agree on it."

"Indeed, ma'am."

The secretary finished her interview with Noir, and walked off; Noir sighed in defeat.

"We've had to draw timetables for Tozukana – san and we'll have to impose restrictions on her… Luckily, we can suggest a competition between she and Qong – kun at the VR simulator. There'll be some more field missions as well." He explained.

"So! What happened with the hijacked flight, guys?" Legato asked.

"After several fruitless attempts to get in and accidentally pumping the plane's fuel in through the restroom… The twit of Mortadelo thought of using a burner to cut their way in from below! The plane caught fire and in the ensuing confusion, the hijacker vanished! Mr. Super did chase them with an axe yelling "I'm gonna kill them" while Filemón wanted to fry Mortadelo up paella style." Video Man summed up.

"By all the… That comic's crazy, really." Andy was bewildered.

"This comic is like that! No matter what happens, the guys and gals won't die! They may be turned into something as thin as paper but they'll survive!" Burner Man laughed.

"Shah, shah, sha~h! Diehard jerks I name 'em!"

"By the way, Miquel – kun… Regarding "CF"… We're gonna make a little demonstration at the "Cave" this weekend. Gotcha?"

"Hmpf! Perfect! Let's show it off to them, yeah."

"What? A private two-man plane? We're heading there ASAP! Mortadelo! Filemón! Urgent mission! Where are you? My! How poor… They're sleeping! That's obvious! Seeing how they only sleep about fourteen daily hours at home! Nothing, no matter what sound it is, can wake up them. Like angels! I'll try to wake them up softly without startling them…"

"… Fourteen daily hours is just "only"…?" Kage was scandalized.

"And that tune sounds like he's actually going to do the opposite of what he's saying." Agoras deduced.

"WAKE UP, YOU TWO! We've got an urgent mission in the airport! Move it! The hijacker has stolen a private two-man plane, which he surely wants to use to flee the country… You MUST stop them!"

"That much is reasonable."

"We'll use my car to get to the airport! Climb up! There you'll have another faster plane to catch up with them and…! What in the…? Where have they gone off? Mortadelo! Filemó~n!"

"Here we are, Mr. "Super"! You told us to "climb up"! If you really meant, "climb down", then we can't guess it…!"

"You're gonna tell me they climbed into the car's roof?" Suzuki sighed.

"Bravo." Video Man applauded.

"Guess they were half-asleep." Akemi didn't find it funny.

"Hey! Listen! This thing has some wide seats, but… You forgot to install the controls!"

"Why don't you try climbing down from the wings and get into the cockpit…?" Burner Man was annoyed by now.

"Alright, guys. I think that's enough." Legato called out.

"Roger, Commander!"

"I'm sending you a mission. Handle it!"

"Delighted, sir! Oh? Busting the typical "Nigerian Prince" and "Ameroupe serviceman on foreign soil" scammers, huh? Easy!"

"Let's not get confident. Lately, these rascals have begun to accumulate tons of Viruses to use as a distraction to flee!" Burner Man warned.

"Good point, man! Guess we should split and cover all flanks. My needles are useful to dealing with weak Viruses, after all!" Needle Man suggested.

"Good, good. That's what I like to see! Teamwork! Remember! Golden Star is not about individual merits! It's about merits as an org!"

"Roger, Commander!"

"Soon enough… Those lurking in the "Cave" will see our might!"

"Indeed! They will realize their foolishness, indeed!"