Chapter 35: The "Cave"

20:44 PM (Indiana Time), Saturday July the 13th…

"… Strolling and wandering does Dingo of the bravado…"

"Stop with that rhyme already, Dingo. It's almost 9:00 PM and I've been hearing for it all day long."

"Lately I feel like there's a lot of tension so…"

"Attention: Mr. Dingo please report to Mr. Barrel. Don't forget to bring your machete knife."

"What machete knife? I don't have one!"

"Dunno. I don't think Boss needs one, either."

"Mr. Troublemaker is about to descend."

"This place's walls are so thin, really."

"Shah, shah, sha~h!"

"That voice… I've heard it somewhere before!"

Dingo was patrolling a corridor of the Ameroupe Army Base and was humming a rhyme along the way, which Tomahawk Man obviously didn't like; Dingo stopped when voices rang out through the speakers.

"Coming in… 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! Let's rock!"

Four simultaneous tremors rocked the base from the outside, so everyone stopped what they were doing, surprised; before they could react, though, all colors on the base became a random mix and lost their metallic grey coloring; one tried to touch the wall but nothing happened.

"What's this?" Someone asked.

"Dunno. Some Hollywood special effect?"

"Could be, yeah…"

"Too bad! You guys lose the prize." A voice rang out.

"The prize was a football ball signed by the Kentucky Raiders."

"Shah, shah, sha~h! And ya just happened to guess wrong!"

A wall exploded and they stared in disbelief as Video Man, Burner Man and Needle Man came out of it.

"Start! Wind Cutter!"

"Strike Burner!"

"Needle Cannon!"

"Run!"

"What in the fuck?"

"Those guys are real!"

"That's impossible!"

"Who the hell are those?"

"Tomahawk Man! What's going on?"

"Golden Star! That Needle Man guy who showed up here ages ago is part of that group named Golden Star!"

"How did they come out in the real world!?"

"There's some odd energy field surrounding the base, trapping it inside of a huge dome! It seems to be the reason, but dunno if it can be disabled!"

"Can't you come out too?"

"No. My data is different from theirs."

Everyone ran away while the three Navis hit the walls, floor and ceiling.

"Hey! Goin' somewhere, Guv'nor?"

"To the shelter, and…! Who are ya?"

"Machete Man."

"HUH!? Who's that, a serial killer!?"

"Kidding. I'm no serial killer, man!"

"Then who are ya?"

"Golden Star. Kage Miquel."

"Kage Miquel? And what's with that outfit?"

"Name it "Cross Fusion", Dingo. So! Did you get promoted for luring Rock Man here through lies and deception?"

"I didn't do that!"

"You sure did! Else I wouldn't have bothered to come here."

"Look, I couldn't know that Colonel…"

"…would lock him up. You did and you lied to Rock Man saying you'd protect him."

Dingo had ended up stumbling upon "Cross Fusion" Kage and Andy, who began to scold them after some initial kidding.

"Hey! Miquel. Need a hand?"

"Sure, Zarashe."

The "Cross Fusion" of Zarashe and Beta X joined the party.

His "Cross Fusion" design added ruby diamonds to the knee-guards and the armor around the elbow; purple patterns on the upper chest formed an angel's silhouette while the legs had the Kanji for "tenshi" ("angel") drawn on them.

His helmet had had a slight redesign to include a sparkling purple five-pointed star on its forehead.

He had a dull green and metallic gray backpack with two jets attached to his back, which obviously allowed him to fly.

"So! Where's the silly fan guy? Or more like… The man who's always quarreling with his men?" Kage questioned.

"Silly fan guy? Quarreling with his men?"

"Jeez. Your boss."

"Mr. Barrel…? Dunno."

"Gotta be around here! The computer didn't say anything about having to travel away." Andy's voice whispered.

"Wanna search for him?" Zarashe offered.

"Do us that favor. Lure them out." Kage requested.

"Delighted." Beta X sneered.

"Where's the Navi's voice coming from? Where are the PETs? I don't get it at all! Why did you attack us? Aren't you supposed to be pacifists or something like that?" Dingo asked in a rush.

"We ain't pacifists. We just bring stability to society! In order to prove how above we are over those fools out there, then we gotta show what we can do." Kage summed up.

"And you picked us because of what happened YEARS ago?"

"Complain to Slur – sama. Her Grace decided this."

"Slur! Heck! I couldn't lay a wound on the gal and beat me instantly! That speed was out of bounds, man!"

"Correct. Her Grace is a genius in case you hadn't caught on that fact as of yet, Mr. Friend-seller."

"I didn't sell him out! I was just obeying!" Dingo replied.

"You used his naiveté. That's a sin."

"A sin? Ever since when is that a sin?"

"Ever since ancient times! You nitwit!"

"Say that again, you cosplay punk?" Dingo grumbled.

As a response, Kage formed the Hyper Cannon Battle Chip and shot one blast at the ground, where it left a scorching mark; Dingo turned pale and stepped back.

"Don't anger me in purpose." He icily warned.

"We'd beaten you a million times already but Slur – sama's orders were absolute. Her Grace's orders are always justified and noble. Her Grace was a trustee of Serenade after all!" Andy grumbled.

"Hey! Pencil-pusher! Bite my leg!"

"Wait!"

"Here comes the biggest of all sinners!"

"Another one!"

"Yessir. Catching up, Barrel? Your sins are chasing you and they won't rest until you've paid for them in a proper way. And this how it'll be! We've just proven how useless you really are."

Barrel came in, trying to catch up with "Cross Fusion" Zarashe, who took position next to Kage while keeping his eyes on Dingo; he gulped and stepped back while Barrel made a grimace.

"Golden Star again…! Where's Slur!" Colonel grumbled.

"Why? Wanna get your ass busted a billion times again?" Andy shot back.

"How dare you!" Colonel hissed.

"Her Grace is clearly over your level. Didn't we prove that already, Ex-Colonel?" Andy grumbled.

"I won't give up until I defeat her!" Colonel exclaimed.

"Give it up! You're out of your league. A new generation has risen: this is what Serenade envisioned too. A new generation to replace this rusted and decaying generation…"

"Who are you to judge us?" Colonel demanded.

"Discuss that with Her Grace."

"Indeed. If Serenade could bestow judgment so can I. You have been foolish for too long but all of that is about to end."

"Damn. Speaking of the devil!"

"Your monopoly of power is about to crumble. No nation shall have the monopoly of power. None. It shall belong to society! Out of reach from politicians and military who toy with it…"

Slur had showed up behind Barrel, who turned around and cursed upon seeing her direct a bored face at him; she had drawn her yellow sword, which she aimed at the floor.

"Are you threatening us?" Colonel demanded.

"No. This is a warning of the reality which will soon skip you and spread across the world…" Slur dully replied.

"What do you mean by "soon"?"

"Less than two months' time from now…"

"Less than two months' time…! How's that possible?"

"Preparations. Calculations. Resources. Methods. We have calculated and prepared in advance! Nothing can alter this schedule. Soon your intelligence – gathering agencies will find out that their information shall not be exclusive to them but to other institutions as well. Other nations shall get the same information too… All of them shall have to buy the rights to access such information… In an auction…" She explained.

"An auction… To buy the rights to access information…? You mean that if they don't buy they'll be left powerless?"

"Of course not. Just that they shall not have this already filtered information ready… Were it to be something urgent then we would rather hand it to the police forces for a quicker response…"

"So that's your "master plan" so as to speak?"

"Correct. You do seem to retain some instinct."

"Ma'am! Allow us to remove some tension." Video Man called out.

"We will "entertain" them!"

"Go on ahead. Our job is done. Remember, Barrel and Colonel… You will be left behind. No matter how hard you try. So will the Sharo Army… They have committed sins as well… These youth are the future. That one there belongs to an era which will soon be gone and only fools will remember…"

Two columns of light formed at Kage's and Zarashe's feet to then expand skywards; they directed glares at both Barrel and Dingo before disappearing along with Slur; the color field (a "Dimensional Area") vanished as well, and everyone sighed in relief.

"This is the Superintendent… Is that the Airport Director? Any news?"

"A recently inaugurated "McDouglas DC 20"…! It's vanished off the radar!"

"By all the… Was it fully fueled?"

"Oh no! Just four drops, you know…"

"Then it can't have gone too far! We'll find it! Mortadelo! Filemón! Quick: I want you to come to my office in the next 10 seconds!"

"What's that? Some radio adaptation?" Dingo wondered.

"Sounds like it…" Tomahawk Man muttered.

"Mortadelo! Filemón! Where have you gone off to? You're starting to make me feel annoyed! Totally! I feel totally annoyed!"

"H-hi, Mr. Super… See… We were finishing the game and…"

"Do you want to play…?"

"Why not."

"We'll give you a ball and…"

"Don't bother to: there's no need to! I've got my own launcher too!"

"For those who still haven't caught up, M&F were playing a bowling ball when the ball rolled up Mr. Super's body and hit his nose from beneath thus literally "swelling" his nose." Video Man explained.

"Can a bowling ball really do that?" Dingo wondered.

"No way. It must be that "impossible humor" type of comic in which everything is impossible to mirror in real life."

"The man in question is "Cachoboineagordaschea"! Champion of the one ton sphere run… Go for another pass, big boy!"

"O. K., Boss!"

"Note! His name can be broken down as "Cacho" or "Big", "Boinea", a corruption of "Boina", a typical hat, "Gorda" or "Fat" and "Schea" a corruption of "Euskera"… M&F are tied to the floor and have the big boulder run over them several times as punishment! Ahem, ahem and ahem! Alright! Enough games! There's an urgent mission pending! The hijacker strikes back! They've stolen a "McDouglas DC 20" off the airport today! The director said it only had four drops of fuel left so it must've forcibly landed close by… You'll check open fields around this area to find the plane and try to seize the hijacker!" Video Man explained before continuing with the dialogue.

"How do we check those open fields, anyway? In donkey- taxi…?"

"You've got the necessary tools to perform the aerial inspection in Hanger Number Nine… Get to work!"

"What'll it be? A reactor? A turbine chopper? A vertical take-off plane…?"

"I wonder that myself." Dingo muttered.

"Tturbine chopper sounds like a parody…" Barrel muttered, skeptical.

"WHAT IN THE…? W-what the heck is this…?"

"What, what?" Dingo eagerly asked.

"We should've expected it from Mr. Super…!"

"An old and repulsive male stork!"

"And you think you're Mr. Universe! What a guy!"

"A male stork? You gotta be kidding me!" Dingo groaned.

"That's… idiotic. Really." Barrel fumed.

"Did you see that? They're riding a male stork!"

"Bah! Poor-cultured people… I use a pterodactyl myself! 50 steam mammoths with five backup ribs!"

"Yeah! Mortadelo & Filemón form part of an aerial mission! I'm so envious, really! I'm sure they gave them a super-sonic plane taken straight from the NATO forces!"

"Fly, you bug! Fly~!"

"You're gonna see when I stuck the beak in your eye!" Burner Man made a pitched voice.

"That was Agent Chismósez… We're gonna be laughed at by all the organization…!" Needle Man grumbled.

"Hmpf! Another agent saw them and laughed after thinking they were using some NATO jet… I'm off. This is so idiotic! I can't stand any more! Sheesh! This your fault, Colonel! We're going to TALK!"

"And that's all for today, our fellows. Be sure to sharpen your machete knives and slice the Mazarin Stone in half to hide it inside of your hood thus proving you're geniuses." Video Man chuckled.

"Man. What a crazy day!" He cursed.

"Totally." Tomahawk Man grumbled.

"Oh! We almost forgot! We've come from checking the surroundings but there's no trace of the missing "Mc Douglas DC 20"…!"

"It's already appeared! Truth is! My little nephew had it." Video Man explained.

"Your little nephew…?"

"Yes! It's a desk lighter, see? I was afraid he'd get burnt because it still had four drops of fuel… Isn't it cute?"

"Take cute! Take that!"

"Are you mad!? Get met outta here! I'll complain to your bosses!"

"Note! The joke is that "monada" can mean "cute" but M&F as a revenge for all they've gone through toss the director into the cage of the Kilimanjaro's wild gorilla interpreting "monada" as "monkey-like" 'cause "mono" is "monkey" in Spanish…" Video Man explained.

"The Kilimanjaro's wild gorilla…?" Dingo turned white.

"Man. The guy could've said it was a lighter and not a real plane to begin with!" Tomahawk Man groaned.

"Mr. Smith said no so…" Burner Man laughed.

"Shah, shah, shah! But I know of some needles which aren't mine roaming around here and bringing disgrace with them!"

"Who talked?" One of the base's soldiers called out.

"Billy did!" Someone else replied.

"Bring it on, twerps!" The guy named Billy challenged.

"Farewell!"

A quarrel suddenly started and Dingo was obviously overwhelmed by now.

Oh man. We got busted! What's going to happen next?

"What now!?" Barrel curses as he rushed there.

"Billy and the others brought needles…" Tomahawk Man grumbled.

"By all the damned… What happened to the weekly cleansing and inspection of luggage!?"

"That's what I'd like to know, too!" Dingo sighed.

"I suspect a jerk named Joe is to blame!" Needle Man snickered.

"Joe Barrows! It had to be the man! Always trying to pose as perfect, I'm sure the fool's accepting bribes! Some heads will roll across the ground!"

"Huff. Lovely. We're gonna be laughed at for weeks, man!"

"I know, Dingo, I know… Sheesh! Why can't they be more serious!?"