Author's Note: For the last time, I DON'T OWN CRIMINAL MINDS!
Chapter 19 A Deep Breath and a Leap
"Look guys, this is ridiculous! Who cares if it's bad luck? I want to see her!"
"No can do man, we're not taking a chance when it comes to your future."
Spencer Reid let out a groan of annoyance and began his pacing. Gideon knew the patch of rug would be worn out by the next hour. Morgan looked at the others and rolled his eyes while Gideon chuckled. He, Morgan, Hotch, and Rossi were in a waiting room in the church while the girls were with Olivia, probably fretting about veils and such.
"You have nothing to be worried about Reid," said Rossi with a grin, "Why are you so anxious?"
"Forgive me Rossi, this isn't the fourth time for me, okay?" snapped Reid, "About fifty percent of marriages end in divorce and I don't want to fall into that category! I shouldn't have asked her, this is stupid. I should just resign myself to the fact that it's totally impossible to have a relationship while I have this job."
"Reid, calm down," said Hotch and Spencer stopped pacing, turning to his boss, "Look, for the last year, the two of you have gotten along fine when it could've been so easy to leave each other. Even before then, you two stayed together. Consider yourself extremely lucky Reid."
"I know how lucky I am," said Reid heavily, "But this is too much, I don't deserve this."
"You think you don't deserve a little happiness?" Morgan asked angrily, "God Reid, we track the evilest of evil but that doesn't mean we need to let it consume our lives! We all deserve to be happy and if Olivia makes you happy, then God dammit you keep her close and never let go! She loves you and knows your work is important, not many women out there are like that. She sees how hard you work and how it affects you, and she'll be there for you after every case."
Spencer sighed and collapsed into a chair, holding his head in his hands. He knew everything Morgan said was true, but that didn't help keep the nagging doubts and fears out of his mind. What would happen in the future? Would they be happy together? How would they work out their schedules in order to spend time together?
"Reid?" He looked up and saw Gideon sitting in the chair beside him. Everyone else had gone. "Tell me what's bothering you," said Gideon.
"Do you…do you think we'll be happy?" he whispered, "I mean, do you think we'll always love each other?"
"Honestly, no." Reid's shoulders slumped but Gideon continued, "You won't be happy all the time, no couple is. You'll have your fights and sometimes, it'll feel like you can't go on anymore. But you will always love each other, and that will keep you two together. You've taken a while to know each other and have seen one another at their most vulnerable. You've been her protector, her friend, her boyfriend, and now you'll be her husband."
"It's just…I guess I'm kind of afraid of the unknown," said Spencer quietly, staring at his hands as he blushed with embarrassment. He hated admitting fear, but knew he could trust Gideon.
"A man once said that courage is like a muscle and must be exercised. Trust me Reid, that muscle is definitely exercised for you," said Gideon and he rose to his feet while saying, "Are you ready? It's almost time."
"A deep breath and a leap," Spencer whispered to himself and stood up, "Yeah, I'm ready."
Gideon smiled and led the way out of the room and into the church. It was a small wedding with not many people there. Both Olivia and Spencer didn't have big families so they didn't see a need for a large wedding. Reid shifted anxiously as he waited for the music to start. What was taking them so long?
Finally, the music started up and the young doctor whipped his head up to watch little Isabella walk down the aisle first with a basket of white petals, dropping a few as she walked. Next came Caleb with a pillow in his hands with the rings. He was staring at the rings with deep concentration, terrified of dropping the rings. Then, J.J and Garcia were walking behind the little boy, chuckling quietly as they watched Caleb. After them, it was Prentiss and Emma. When Emma saw Spencer, she grinned widely and gave him a wink. Spencer swallowed and turned to the entrance of the church. He felt his eyes go wide and stopped himself just in time before his mouth dropped open.
Olivia was walking alongside with Jude, who was seeing her off. Since her father wanted nothing to do and she didn't have a real "father figure", Olivia had asked her sister's husband to see her off since Jude was practically her brother. The Brit was honored and agreed instantly. But Spencer wasn't looking at him, only at Olivia. She looked like an angel! Her dress was the purest white and had a small train in the back. It was cut straight across the top and hugged her in the bodice before falling gracefully over her hips. He saw her stumble and grip Jude hard, blushing furiously while Spencer tried not to chuckle. Emma had insisted on her sister wearing five inch heels and had spent the last six months giving Olivia lessons in the art of walking in heels. Although she had improved greatly, Olivia insisted this was the last time she ever walked in those "death-traps".
She looked at him and smiled so widely that Spencer thought she would burst with happiness. He knew the feeling and was certain he was grinning like an idiot, as proved by the snickers he heard behind him, probably Morgan. For once though, he didn't care as he stared at her. Jude and Olivia reached the altar and he gave her a quick peck on the cheek before going back to his seat. Spencer took her hand and they faced the priest.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today…
…...
"…I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."
Olivia turned to Spencer and watched him lift the veil off her face before kissing her. The entire church burst into applause and cheers. Olivia thought she heard wolf-whistles from behind Spencer, but wasn't paying attention. She was married, and to the best man on Earth no less!
The new couple walked out of the church and had their pictures taken while the rest of the guests headed to the reception. The wedding party stayed to get their pictures taken also and soon they were off to the reception. Spencer helped Olivia out of the limousine and she smiled nervously at him, glancing at the doors. He saw this and smiled, wrapping an arm around her waist.
"Don't worry, everyone in there is excited to see us," he said reassuringly and pulled her closer, "Let's have some fun, shall we?"
Olivia nodded and they entered the room, greeted by applause. She saw her sister and waved shyly. Emma walked up to Olivia and pulled her into a tight embrace.
"My big sister's growing up," she said with a sniffle and Olivia was shocked when she realized her sister wasn't joking like she usually did.
"Hey, it's okay," said Olivia, holding her sister, "Now what I want to know is what you have planned to say for the toast?"
"Oh you know me," said Emma, wiping her eyes carefully so as not to smudge her make-up, "I just thought I'd wing it, hope you don't mind."
They two sisters laughed and Olivia looked up to see Spencer chatting with Jude. The young doctor caught her eye and smiled warmly. More people came up to talk with Olivia and Spencer so it was a while before they were able to sit down and by that time, dinner was about to be served. Before everyone got their meals, Emma stood up and tapped her fork against her glass. The hall fell silent and Emma smiled at everyone.
"First off, I want to thank everyone who came today to celebrate this wonderful day for all of us," said Emma, "It means a lot to us that you took the time out of your busy schedules to come and be with us. So, I guess this is the part where I give a toast, being the matron of honor and all." She turned to Olivia and her smile trembled as she eyes filled up. "Well sis, I can honestly say I never thought this would be how it would happen. I always thought you'd marry before me and that I'd never marry at all actually, yet here we are.
"Ever since we were little, you were the one looking after me. When Mom was at work and I had questions on homework, you patiently answered them all. You listened to me complain about teachers and friends and even guys. Then when Mom died," she said, stopping to collect herself and continuing, "Y-You were the rock that kept me together. To this day, I don't know how you did it, but you did and your courage has continued to shock me. After all you went through after Sally died, you never let it get you down. Sure, you had some trouble in the beginning, but anyone else in your position would still be living like a hermit in their dark apartment.
"You know, I can remember the first time you told me about Spencer back when you lived in that apartment in Philly," Emma said with a chuckle, "I had this gut feeling that he was someone special, even though I had never met the guy before. Then when I met him at the hospital and saw how concerned he was for you, I knew without a doubt I would be up here giving the toast at your wedding. That reminds me that I should probably wrap this up."
Everyone laughed at this and raised their glasses with Emma, looking at the bride and groom. Olivia felt her eyes watering as she looked around at all her friends and family that had gathered. She was truly blessed.
"Don't you dare cry Olivia for two reasons! One, I worked hours on that make-up and two, I'll start crying," said Emma, her own eyes filling up, "To Spencer, for being the most loyal and caring man I have ever known. Take care of her because you have no idea how lucky you are to have her in your life. And to my dear sister Olivia, my best friend and my rock. Livvy, you are the most courageous woman I know and remember that you will always have all of us here to care for you. You made a great choice with Spencer here and I'm so happy for you both. Cheers!"
"Cheers!" the crowd said and drank to the happy couple. Olivia rose from her seat and embraced her sister, the two of them crying happy tears.
"Oh bloody hell!" Emma muttered, rubbing her eyes, "My make-up's ruined and so is yours!"
"The pictures are done now and you can fix it after dinner," said Olivia with a laugh and a sniffle.
So after dinner, Emma grabbed Olivia and dragged her into the bathroom to fix her up. When the two sisters returned, the DJ waved from his position and gestured the floor. Olivia got the message and grabbed her new husband, dragging him out onto the floor as the music played. It was their first dance together as a married couple.
The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath.
And emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky
Never revealing their depth.
Tell me that we belong together,
Dress it up with the trappings of love.
I'll be captivated,
I'll hang from your lips,
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above.
I'll be your crying shoulder,
I'll be love's suicide
I'll be better when I'm older,
I'll be the greatest fan of your life.
Olivia grinned as Spencer twirled her around before her bringing her back to him.
And rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed.
You're my survival, you're my living proof.
My love is alive - not dead.
Tell me that we belong together.
Dress it up with the trappings of love.
I'll be captivated,
I'll hang from your lips,
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above
I'll be your crying shoulder,
I'll be love's suicide
I'll be better when I'm older,
I'll be the greatest fan of your life.
Again, Spencer twirled her around before dipping her. Not expecting it, Olivia let out a cry of surprise but the music drowned her out. Spencer saw this and grinned before bring her back up.
And I've dropped out, I've burned up, I've fought my way back from the dead.
I've tuned in, turned on, remembered the things that you said
I'll be your crying shoulder,
I'll be love's suicide
I'll be better when I'm older,
I'll be the greatest fan of your...
I'll be your crying shoulder,
I'll be love's suicide
I'll be better when I'm older,
I'll be the greatest fan of your life.
The greatest fan of your life.
...greatest fan of your life.
They danced until the song ended. The DJ managed to mix the song with another and soon, everyone was out on the dance floor. Olivia knew Spencer wasn't much of a dancer so it shocked her that he never asked to go sit down or even looked like he wanted to. He danced a song with all the bride's maids and matron and also danced with his mother before she had to leave. Mrs. Reid did not like large crowds and loud music so she left early, but Olivia was overjoyed that she came despite her fears of flying.
"Thank you so much Mrs. Reid," Olivia said over the music as she and Spencer walked out into the quieter hallway with Mrs. Reid and her nurse, "We were extremely happy to have you."
"I'm just glad my Spencer's happy," she said, looking at her son fondly, "That's every mother's wish, isn't it?"
The two waved good-bye as Mrs. Reid and the nurse got into the car and drove away. When they arrived in the ballroom, a slow song was starting up and Reid held out his hand for Olivia. She smiled shyly and took it, allowing herself to be led out onto the dance floor. As they swayed to the music, Olivia looked around and saw Morgan and Garcia dancing close together. She chuckled and knew it was only a matter of time before another wedding was planned. She continued her search and found Hotch with Prentiss, the two of them talking quietly and obviously having a good time together. She looked at her husband and saw him looking at his other two co-workers. He just smiled and shrugged as if to say, "I'm fine with it as long as they are". Gideon was playing babysitter for Emma's three children and was holding the youngest in his arms while the other two kids were dancing together, jumping up and down crazily. Olivia laughed and saw her sister also laughing at her children's antics. Suddenly, thoughts of her own future filled Olivia's thoughts and her smile faded.
"What is it?" Spencer asked and Olivia looked at him, shocked he had noticed. Well, he was a profiler after all.
"It's just…how are we going to make this work?" asked Olivia quietly, "I mean, I know you love your job and I'm not asking you to leave at all, but I don't want to lose you, Spencer."
"Then we won't," he said simply, "As long as we don't want to drift apart, we won't. I was worried too, but Hotch reminded me that we've stuck together this long while I've been working."
"I…I'm just frightened of the future," she whispered so softly that Spencer had to bend down to hear her, "Emma said I'm courageous, but I don't think I am. A lot of things scare me, including waking up one day and realizing that we're not in love anymore. I've heard of couples falling out of love and I don't want that to happen with us. I'm scared."
"You are courageous, Olivia," said Reid gently, placing a hand on her cheek and lifting her head up so she was looking at him, "Fear is normal. In fact without it, we would be too headstrong and end up killing ourselves while doing something stupid. I promise you that no matter the fight or how long it lasts, I will always love you."
"Really?"
"Really, really," he said and Olivia smiled as he kissed her nose lightly.
She leaned her head against his chest and thought about what Spencer had told her. He was right; if they truly loved one another, as she thought they did, they would be okay. Yes, it would be hard at times. Sure, they would fight. However, they would make up and grow closer together because of it. Olivia wrapped her arms tighter around Spencer's neck and took a deep breath. Whatever the future had in store for Dr. Spencer Reid and Dr. Olivia Reid, they would be ready to face the challenges. They had their friends, their family, and each other. And really, that was all they needed.
"I am not a courageous person by nature. I have simply discovered that, at certain key moments in this life, you must find courage in yourself, in order to move forward and live. It is like a muscle and it must be exercised, first a little, and then more and more. All the really exciting things possible during the course of a lifetime require a little more courage than we currently have. A deep breath and a leap." ~John Patrick Shanley~
Author's Note:
Dear Readers,
Well, that's the end of this story! I really don't think there will be a sequel just because I feel everything is wrapped up rather nicely. I threw the Hotch/Prentiss for some food for thought. I personally like the pairing but left it up to your imagination if they get together or not. The quote was something my sister, missdavinci77, had and I thought it fit the story rather nicely.
As you know, the character Emma is based off my sister so I would like to thank her first. She took the time to pretty much be my unofficial beta reader and I'd like to thank her for everything. She also writes Criminal Minds fanfiction so I highly suggest checking them out. I may be biased, but they are all excellent.
The amount of attention this story has received has truly shocked and amazed me (In a good way though!). Therefore, I'd like to take this time to thank everyone who put me on alert and in their favorites. Also, thank you to my reviewers who told me what they thought of the story as it went along. I'd like to especially thank Ellen Julie for her many reviews. Your reviews made my day everyday and I always looked forward to checking my inbox to see what you all had to say. Finally, thank you to everyone who found this story good enough to reach this point.
I have been thinking about writing another Criminal Minds story but I will let you know through this story when I post it. So if you're interested, put this on story alert and you'll get the notice!
All right, this A/N is long enough so I'll end it now. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for reading and enjoying this story. It's been a blast writing this but, sadly, all good things must come to an end. For the last time for this story, please leave all final comments in a review. Even if you've only just found the story months or even years after this was published and read it through completely, still review. I will review you back just like I always do! So, until we meet again,
With love,
silvermoony77