You guys overwhelm me xD … I'm so glad you're enjoying this fic as much as I'm enjoying writing it! I'm nearly up to 100 story alerts with this one – So I'm guessing a lot more of you are reading this than I first thought.
I have to say I'm feeling a little sorry for my other fic though – It's becoming a lot harder to write than this one and I think I'm getting a little distracted by this Edward and Bella (because they're just so darn hot xp). So I might take a few days out to focus on my other fic.
Never fear though – I'll be updating chapter 5 of this one soon enough, I just love all the reviews I'm getting =D! Its spurs me on to write more xD
Anyhoo, just a little chapter to keep you going…
Chapter 4:
"That'll be $10.50 then please," the pizza delivery guy stood at the front door to the Swan residence, whilst Edward dug deep into his pockets.
"Alright Swan, this pizza isn't going to pay for itself. Cough it up!" Edward called back to her, as he flipped his wallet open and pulled out his cash.
At the smell of sizzling pizza, Bella sprung to his side, purse tight in her grip, to drop 50 cents into Edwards awaiting hand. "There you go, that's my contribution..." she smiled at him sweetly before happily taking the pizza. "…Thanks".
"50 Cents? That's all I get!?" moaned Edward at her pitiful input.
"Well it was your idea" Bella practically crooned back into his ear before taking the box into the living room to place onto the table. Unlatching the cardboard edges she flipped it over, revealing its pizzary goodness.
She was already half way through her first slice when Edward finally joined her.
"You're welcome by the way" he grunted, shoving the wallet back into his pocket. And she beamed back at him smugly. "I know!"
"Yeah well, don't get too cocky. I may be in charge of payment, but you can be in charge of hiding the evidence. Good luck pulling the wool over Charlie's eyes on this one," he mused as he took a hold of his pizza, slumped back into the chair and put his feet up. "Although who am I kidding, you're already pretty good at that arent you" he smirked, taking a bite.
Her face immediately fell at his comment, unable to enjoy even two minutes of blissful ignorance. "That was uncalled for" she frowned, her lips falling into a pout.
Noticing her reaction he sighed at his thoughtlessness. "Yeah. Sorry, bad joke" he pulled a wary and sympathetic face, and no longer did Bella feel in the mood for pizza. Throwing the crust into the cardboard she took to her feet, walking out of the living room and into the kitchen.
Bella stood in her misery at the kitchen sink, her hands running through the water as she stared at the clear liquid mindlessly. She wasn't alone for long though, and a guilt-ridden Edward soon came towards her from behind.
"I'm sorry" he spoke out, but she failed to turn around; too mesmerized by the endless pouring of tap water. "I didn't mean to upset you". He went on but still gained nothing in return. Taking another step towards her, he leant over, turning the tap to shut off the water pipe. "Bella?" She twitched in just the slightest as the water ceased to be, before slowly swivelling on her heel to face him.
"Sorry" she apologised, her head shaking a little at her previous trance like behaviour.
"That's alright" he smiled at her, but it barely touched his eyes; glazed over with so much concern. Clear as day to Bella, as she looked back into them; now saddened by the knowledge that she could so easily bring his day down as well as her own.
Grabbing the towel off the side he dried her wet hands.
"Are you ok? You seem so … distant lately."
Bella nodded back; trying to concentrate, but the stroking sensations he was making in her hands couldn't help but make her tingle. "I'm fine." Her eyes watched the circles he was drawing in her palms.
He nodded back, not entirely convinced. "You're sure, there's nothing wrong?" Edward questioned her cautiously. "I mean, apart from the obvious". He finished up with her hands, much to Bella's dismay and thrust the towel to the back of the chair.
"Really, I'm fine. It's probably just my hormones. Plus, with exams coming up and hiding from our parents; it's a lot to think about. It's not a picnic you know".
"Hormones?" he eyed her, feeling the sudden need to reiterate, and she nodded first of all thinking nothing of it, but sighed soon after. Bella rolled her eyes as she sensed he'd jumped to conclusions. "I'm not pregnant Edward. If that's what you're asking me?"
"No" he quickly shot back, glancing away, "Well, ok. So maybe, I did, wonder" he looked at her shamefully.
She let out a lengthily exhale. "Well you can stop wondering now. I'm not pregnant. I'm on the pill, remember?" she answered back, attempting to brush past him, but he grabbed her arm preventing her from leaving.
"Hey" Edward pulled her back, looking into her eyes directly. "I'm sorry" he spoke with conviction, and a sinking sensation filled her stomach at his sincerity. There was really no need for him to apologise, after all, Bella was the one that'd been so hard on him lately, taking her stress out on him when it hadn't really been called for. She smiled through sadness at his sweetness.
His hand rose to caress her cheek as they gazed into each others eyes. Their lower bodies became pressed together as she leant against the side of the sink, and with hesitance, he closed the gap with a tender kiss.
Bella sighed into his lips, tension just drifting away; her hand running through Edward's hair as she kissed him back. It was slow and very precise; an almost companionable kiss between a young husband and wife, very unlike what they were accustomed too.
When he finally pulled away, they were both panting and some 20 degrees warmer.
Bella's head dipped slightly in her embarrassment, unable to meet his eyes as her cheeks shone a shade of bright rosy red. And sensing her discomfort he changed the subject.
"So what would you say to a movie night?" he questioned her, searching for her brown eyes. She eventually replied with a coy closed lipped smile, and he took her hand in his, leading her back to the couch.
"Are you going to let me choose the movie?" she teased with hopefullness. And he laughed back raising his eyebrows, "Now that would be pushing it" he smirked.
"Eat" he playfully ordered her, signalling to the left over pizza. "Before it gets cold!"…
***
Dear Diary,
I write this as I eat my last slice of pizza. Edward's downstairs watching some action movie, so I'm taking five minutes for some quality Bella-Diary one on one.
I'm in a total daze.
We had a moment, a moment of sheer tenderness. He was sweet and thoughtful and there was no denying that his kiss felt like it truly meant something. For a second there, I even forgot that we were two people in a really complicated situation.
I feel like some days I'm in a total wind spin, like I've been blown away in some kind of tornado, and I don't know which way I'm going, but with any second I could just fall flat on my face, you know?
I know I spend the majority of my day over thinking things. I've always tended to be rather analytical, a useful trait up until now, because I have to admit, it's starting to give me a headache.
I'm quite looking forward to Saturday night, when I can have a drink and just let my hair down. I'll leave all that contemplation and worry for another day.
School today was a total snooze-fest. Even lunch time failed to amuse. I just spent the entire hour listening to Jessica going on about her outfit for Saturday night (we're going to this new club that's recently opened in town), apparently it accents her breasts in a way that will turn not only boy's heads, but girl's heads as well. I'll believe it when I see it!
My weekly trip to the local library proved an interesting experience though. I usually go with dad, but Edward accompanied me this time.
Bizarrely, he mentioned something about knowing people that've had sex on the top floor of Forks City Library. That turned my stomach quite a bit; especially when the look on his face had guilt written all over it. My guess is, past relations meant he'd gotten pretty damn cosy with those musty old books. But I'd rather not think about it. We never discuss our ex's. I'm not sure I'd even want to know about them. I don't even know how many he's had. Either way, I'm fairly certain he'd put my small amount of 'one' to shame.
So as expected, it happened again. We argued over something completely irrelevant; mostly my doing, I'll admit, before I found myself being sprung from behind in the shower.
I can honestly say though, that every time I'm with Edward, it's another lesson learned.
That's not necessarily a good thing though, as I have recently discovered - I am turning into a very weak person.
Of late, my lack of self restraint is unbelievable. Its official, he has me wrapped around his little finger. Any thoughts of me putting a stop to our little agreement are immediately quashed as soon as were alone. He doesn't even have to say anything; he's persuasive in other ways, and I find myself backing down without any questions asked. And even if I did suggest we put a stop to it, we'd only end up arguing and then in the heat of the moment I'd back down again. It's a vicious cycle with us.
In fact, it feels like all we ever do these days is bicker and have sex. On paper, it all sounds rather exhausting. But I think the arguing makes it easier in a way. Without the constant bickering, we'd probably feel too much like a real couple. I guess bickering is a healthy ingredient for a circumstance such as ours. It'd be far too weird if we were always the best of friends… take this evening for instance. He'd never kissed me like that before.
Just between us though, I have to admit I've been feeling a little weird lately. It's like I'm starting to miss him when he walks away. It's bugging me. I don't even remember feeling this way when I was with Jake (my first and only real boyfriend). With Jacob it became far too samey, and ordinary almost. But with Edward, he makes me feel different things.
He makes me laugh at times when all I want to do is hate him, he makes me blush with just one single touch or smile, and he makes me insane with jealousy at just the mention of another girl.
I feel my fists clench at just the mention of his friend Tanya. And don't even get me started on Jessica Stanley's over-interest in him! I'd hate to think he'd ever be swayed by her.
But why should I even care anyway?
It's not like it can last forever. After all, the weddings coming up in just over a month. And that day will change everything…
We'll be living in another house for one. And Charlie and Esme' will be walking around blissfully happy, unknowingly torturing me by using the dreaded 'B' word. Just the thought of calling him my brother makes me physically ill. I really doubt I could stand hearing it from my father's mouth every second of the day.
I mean, I know by bloods standards, we'd never be biologically related, so it's not like its incest or anything, but that word still has meaning behind it. And I've done far too much with Edward to ever use that word without chucking up.
Anyway, I better head back downstairs. Edward's probably wondering where I am.
You know, I'm getting the hang of this writing business. It's like therapy… which at present, I probably wouldn't say no too!
Over and out,
Bella Swan. xxx
PS, I need to note this down; just for future reference… shower sex is a total win win! I just loved the element of surprise!
Aside from the slight embarrassment factor of Edward seeing my naked body in broad daylight for the first ever time, for once, no quilt cover offering me a form of protection, but I soon got passed it. It's amazing how at ease we are with each other now.
In fact, I don't think he's ever put me in a position where I should ever feel ashamed about my body. And for that, I am eternally grateful. Prior to Edward, I was known to spend a fair few hours wishing I was different; a little bigger here, a little smaller there. But with Edward, none of that seems to matter.
I guess one good thing that has come out of this, apart from the obvious, is that I've grown in confidence. And for the first time in my life, I'm starting to feel like a woman.
I'm pretty happy about that.
Ok, now I really am going. We'll carry this session on another time. Maybe then I'll have finally come to my senses… I can only hope.
But I wouldn't bank on it...
A/N: Thanks for reading. And if you want more, you know what to do :)