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Hope this chapter isnt too bad - its a little shorter than the rest...
Chapter 6:
Bella stomped back towards her bedroom, feet dragging along the carpet as she went; her face fixed in a frown.
"Morning Bella, did you have a good time last night?" Charlie called out, but she merely grunted a measly response and walked on. Closing the door behind her she scrambled back to bed, curling up into a ball and clutching at her stomach in desperation.
The door swung open two seconds later, "Bellz?" her father stood with his hands on his hips at her doorway. And she tugged on the quilt cover, encompassing it further around her as she tried to hide.
"Go away" Bella whined back, as just her nose and forehead peeked over the surface of the quilt. She was in no mood for a lecture this morning.
"Yeah, that's not going to happen. Where is your manner's young lady?"
"Sorry" she grumbled back. "Please go away!?" she offered as a compromise.
Charlie smirked at her cheekiness. "Let me guess… You're hung over?"
She scoffed at his presumption. "I wish I was," a miserable Bella sulked, "You wouldn't understand. You men always get off easy".
"Ooh", He smiled as he came to a realisation, his head nodding. After 18 years of being a single father, he'd grown quite used to this. "Girl's stuff". He confirmed as he took a seat on the bed beside her, placing a hand on her back and gently rubbing.
She fidgeted away though, not wanting to be touched. "Can I get you anything? A tablet maybe?"
Pulling the covers down to her neck Bella offered a half-hearted smile. "A tablet would be appreciated" she murmured her request.
He tapped her lightly on the nose as he smiled. "Alright. Two minutes," said Charlie as he rose to his feet and left her alone. Not 10 seconds had gone and the door had re-opened again.
"Wow, that was quick" she said without looking up, assuming it was her father. But the voice that answered her back resembled nothing of a mid 40 year old man.
"Huh? What was quick?"
She tilted her head, her eyes searching to meet Edwards, as he stood at her doorway, his face displaying a look of confusion. She recoiled slightly at the sight of him, a sudden image from last night flashed through her memory, in which he had her levered on the edge of the truck as he wedged himself inside of her. She shuddered at the thought, but felt her entire body heat up at the memory of it. "Oh, sorry, I thought you were dad" she replied, feeling slightly embarrassed.
"Right" nodded Edward briefly, "Yeah, Charlie said you weren't feeling too good."
"I'll be fine" she all but whispered to herself, focusing on the patterns of the bed linen to avoid his eyes. How would she ever look him in the eye again after that!?
"Here we are," Charlie cheered as he re-entered her room, "Oh, hey Edward, didn't see you there," he added before placing the glass and tablet onto her bedside table beside her diary. He frowned a little as he grasped the diary in his hand. "Since when do you write in a diary Bellz?"
She glared at nothing in particular. "Since my life became so complicated" Bella mumbled into her quilt, as she shifted her weight to sit upwards onto the bed, before she tucked her messy hair behind her ears.
"Sorry?" Charlie questioned, failing to make out her answer.
"Oh, I don't know. Its private, dad" she looked at him miserably, before grabbing a hold of the glass of water.
"Fair enough" he placed the diary back onto her table without further thought, turning on his heel to flash a look to Edward that said 'Girls ey!' as he rolled his eyes.
Attempting to take the tablet, an unappreciative Bella grimaced as they stood their staring at her. "Expecting a show are you?" she flicked her vision from Charlie to Edward, as they simply stood there gawking at her.
Charlie merely laughed in response, rather accustomed to her flippant moods around this time every month.
"Alright, how about we leave you to it, yeah?" Charlie acknowledged his daughters need for space, planting a light peck onto her forehead before walking away. An obedient Edward followed in toe, but lingered at the doorway prior to closing it.
"I…I hope you feel better soon, Bella". His smile was laced with sadness, and watching him close the door only proved to make her feel ten times worse.
With a sigh of agony she knocked the tablet back, downing the water in one go and then setting it aside. She crumpled back to her usual foetal position, preparing to wait patiently for the tablet to work its magic… if only it could work its magic on the rest of her life as well…
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Dear Diary,
It's approximately 20 past ten in the morning. I've been up since nine suffering the misfortune of period pains. Men really don't know how lucky they are!
I'm starting to feel better though, the pain and nausea is less, despite the tenderness of my stomach. But I've learned to cope with that.
I really have only one thing on my mind right now, that being the interesting events of the previous night…
Did I really do what I think I did?
Did I really have sex on the hood of my father's Chevy!?
That's so unlike me!
Frolicking on the truck, not in it, like most people, actually on it! The sexy dancing, kissing for the entire world to see! Whatever was I thinking!?
Must be a case of Jekyll and Hyde. The irrational, sex-hungry anti-sensible-Bella Swan reared her head last night! And I must say, she made pretty damn good use of her time!
I guess I should be slightly miffed though, that Edward would take advantage of me so easily in my drunk-like state. But I can't stay mad at him for too long. Because despite his eagerness for occasional risk-taking behaviour, he's still very much a gentleman; placing his jacket over my body as I'd drifted in and out of sleep during the car ride home. Only Edward would have had the decency and kindness to do that.
I also have this incredibly vague memory of him asking me where my Pyjamas were. So I'm guessing he also assisted me in that department as well. I was clearly totally out of it and consequently unable to muster even the strength to dress myself without dozing off, so I suppose I should be thankful that he succeeded in shuffling my heavy, uncooperative body out of my party clothes and into my night wear. That would be a challenge in itself!
But what a night!
I'm so glad I didn't drink my entire body weight in alcohol like I usually do, as my memory is still very much my own.
Though I'm severely disturbed by my actions and thoughtlessness with living life briefly on the dark side, I am quite proud of myself for having the ability to chill out for once. Edwards always going on about how uptight I always am, granted the cocktails did help, but for once I managed to prove him (and myself) very wrong!
I should be rather smug next time I see him, if it wasn't for the embarrassment factor. One things for sure, I'll never be able to look that Chevy in the eye the same way anymore; particularly if my dad finds the need to drive it. *Chuck bucket please?*
It doesn't even bear thinking about!
*Sigh*
I wish things could be different.
You know, for the first time in months, 3 to be exact, the thought about starting up a normal committed relationship, actually crossed my mind last night, when I found myself with alternative male company. For a second it was nice to not have to worry what other people would think. Not having to go around behind people's backs, deceiving the people you care about most of all by living in secret. It was a pleasant thought, a preferred thought to a certain extent. But when I saw Edward there last night, when my eyes locked with his and I stormed over to confront him, any thoughts about being with someone else were quickly pushed aside. I don't want to be with anyone else. I can't even imagine being with someone else. And now, the thought seems so alien to me, and I know I've always said there would have to be a time when we'd be forced to end it, but I honestly couldn't and wouldn't want too, see that day anytime soon.
And so the predicament continues. And what makes it so much worse is - I have to go an entire 6 days without being with him now.
I just hope he doesn't get tired of waiting for me. I suppose only time will tell with that one though…
Bella Swan xxx
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(7pm)
The day went by at snail pace. And a gloomy eyed Bella stared unblinkingly at the living room TV screen. She was in a trance; a lack of company for almost 5 hours led her to practically stagnate. And at the sudden sound of the front door slamming shut her heart skipped a frantic beat.
"Oh hey you're up!" Edward exclaimed the obvious, shuffling off his jacket and hooking it over the stairs banister.
"Yes. I have been for ages" her voice was mono-toned with a lack of spirit. "Where were you?"
"Well I heard you were bed bound. So I went to see Tanya" he spoke casually, thinking nothing of it.
That did nothing to appease Bella though, except trigger her paranoia of course. "Oh right," she rolled her eyes, "... Already off to get your kicks somewhere else then? You don't waste any time, do you?" her eyes were glued to the television screen as she spoke to him, whilst her voice attacked him with its bitterness.
Her remark not quite what Edward had expected to hear, and he found himself struck between half laugh and half fury. "Excuse me?" he waited until she looked him in the eye. "It wasn't like that at all actually. For your information she's suffering her own relationship dramas," he told her, but she simply gave an unconvincing reply of, "Oh really".
He frowned, taken aback by her attitude. "You're not serious!?"
She shrugged back moodily, "Well how am I to know you don't have others on the side". She grabbed the TV remote and proceeded to flick her way through the channels, but he was quick to snatch it away from her, throwing it onto the opposite couch, and she felt her breathing grow heavy in impatience.
"Ok, I'm going to put this insanely jealous, over-irrational Bella down to your hormones," he went to walk away. "Oh but just so you do know, if I really was seeing other people, it wouldn't be anything to do with you. No strings remember? Or did you forget?" he scolded her, offended by her accusations; his frustration leading him to reaffirm the details of their little arrangement. Making it known that he was his own man, not bound to anyone but himself.
His words cut deep though, and due to her sensitive state, tear drops stung her eyes as she looked at him. Unable to take anymore, she stormed straight past him, running up the stairs and into her room; leaving Edward feeling as rotten as ever...
She sobbed, hugging her pillow to her chest; hormones combined with the hurtfulness of Edwards words just fuelling Bella's emotions.
She knew she was out of line, that her state of misery simply led her to make those allegations. But she'd be lying if she said she hadn't thought about it. Pondering the prospect that this Tanya, or, whoever, was just another notch beside Bella's on his belt.
Maybe she should have more faith in him…
A light tap on the door was then heard, but Edward didn't wait for a response, he opened the door and stepped inside a second later. Running a hand over the back of his neck he squeezed, a sensation of guilt prickled his skin.
"I'm sorry," he paused taking a deep breath. "I don't even know why I said all that," his voice grew louder to Bella as he took a step further inside.
"You have to know that I'm not seeing anyone else" he went on. "My friendship with Tanya is just that, a good friendship … and I respect you enough that I'd tell you if I was ever seeing someone else. And I hope you would for me too…" he sighed as she failed to acknowledge him. "Anyway I'll, I'll leave you to sleep".
He lingered for a moment or two, with the hope that she would be willing to forgive him, but she remained well hidden, huddled up tight in her quilt.
Regretfully he attempted to walk away, but in that instance Bella shifted on the bed, and a hand reaching out for him tugged at his wrist.
"Don't go". She sulked. And her blotchy red eyes were just too heartbreaking to leave. "Will you… just hold me," she pleaded with him, and a noticeable tear trickled down her cheek. She hadnt felt this sorry for herself in a long while.
He smiled back softly, running a finger against her skin, and wiping away the moistness that loitered there. "As if you have to ask" he hushed down to her.
And it didn't take much further thought after that, before Edward had laid himself downwards onto the bed, and spooned her into his chest. He placed a light kiss to the side of her head then as she settled into him, and his hand slid beneath her top, his warm palm and fingers caressing her tender stomach as he soothed her into a peaceful sleep…
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