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Chapter 8:

Dear diary,

I met Tanya today. You know, that friend of Edwards. The oh so wonderful and infamous Tanya! The one that everyone seems to fall in love with at just the sight of. Edward failed to mention she was hot…

Her face is still etched in my mind. Catching first sight of her was like ice cold water splashing across my face unexpectedly. That flawless appearance with not a freckle in sight, and that pretty blonde hair, not a curl out of place – just the thought of it makes me want to punch something, or someone. I never thought I could ever feel this angry and upset over another woman before, but apparently so.

And if that's my competition, then I may as well just give up now.

I know I shouldn't be thinking that way. Edward and I will never be together like that and I have to learn to accept it (I will learn one day, I promise)… but if we could, if we were actually given a chance, a small possibility even, for whatever reason, he would surely never choose me over her? How could he? He'd be insane too.

She seemed so completely lovely; with no hint of awkwardness or embarrassment following her around. She was like a ray of sunshine; beaming with confidence. My personality must appear so bland compared to hers.

And the day had been turning out so well too! Following our slight mishap from two days ago, in which my hormones had got the better of me. I'd stupidly accused him of cheating on me with Tanya, which, up until the moment I laid eyes on her, I would've said was completely irrational. Particularly after his little speech about how he respects me too much to ever want to cheat on me. But now, I'm not so sure.

If he ever was put in that position, in which Tanya offered it all to him on a silver platter, would he really just turn her down and walk away? Given he could have a normal and open relationship with her?

I think not. Even Esme' tried to force the issue.

*Sigh*

And to think I quite enjoyed being a witness to Edward's jealousy this past week; his green eyed envy when another guy was involved provided me with a substantial amount of satisfaction, despite how selfish that must make me. But, when the shoe is on the other foot, it's not so enjoyable, as I'm finding out.

Maybe it's fate. Or maybe gods trying to tell me to get out now, while there's still time! Who knows? Perhaps dating someone new wouldn't be such a bad idea after all?

I could date someone new, and still see Edward on the side!

Who am I kidding though? He'd never go for that. He'd only get me back by pursuing some big boobed blonde bombshell, just to prove a point to me.

*Huff*

I have to go, I can't even think straight right now; I'm too annoyed…

Bella xxx

The following day: 4.30pm.

Bzzzzzz

The cell phone vibrated on her floor, the screen lighting up, drawing Bella's attention away from her pile of work which was left sprawled across her floor. Sliding it open 'Alice's' name popped up as a new message.

Heading into Port Angeles for a bit. Want to come?

A xxx

Bella sighed at the message, astonished that Alice could even take a night off with how much work they all had. And although she wanted nothing more than to spend a few hours with her best friend, with a chance to chat and forget all about life's little dramas, she tended to avoid it these days. Alice was incredibly perceptive, and caring, and given Bella had been feeling rather sorry for herself over the past few days, a question or two from Alice followed by a look of concern and Bella would for sure give in, venting everything to Alice without a seconds thought.

But she couldn't, never wanting to put Alice in that position, where lying was suddenly the norm, like a second language.

Selecting the 'reply' icon she went to answer. She managed one single word before she was interrupted by a tap at her door.

"Come in!" she called, knowing exactly who it was. Cancelling the message she placed the phone back onto the floor; making a mental note to text Alice back later on.

"Hey" Edward poked his head around the door. "How's it going in here?"

She sighed at the sight of him standing there, as beautiful as ever; there was certainly no hope for her, she couldn't escape him even if she wanted too… not that she did want to of course. She shrugged her shoulders, for some reason going on the defensive, "Fine", before turning back to her work.

He made his way inside, sitting down onto her floor in front of her, firstly laying his eyes on her work, before focusing his vision onto her, as she dipped her head to avoid him.

"Is everything ok?" he finally asked. And if she hadn't been so ridden with her own jealously she might have revelled in the blatant level of concern that graced his voice. "You've been really quiet lately".

Bella merely sighed in response. "Haven't we already been through this?"

"Yeah. But … that was then, this is now". He argued, picking up one of her pens and twiddling it with his fingers.

"I need that" she told him expressionlessly, signalling to the pen he'd taken. He analyzed the pen with inquisitive eyes, nodding after a moment before handing it back to her; silently she took it, their fingers brushing as she did.

"So, what did you think of Tanya anyway?" questioned a hesitant Edward, curious of her response.

Bella shrugged her shoulders once again, hoping to come across blasé and uncaring as she proceeded to scribble her name and date on the top of the sheet. "She seemed nice enough. I guess … But how can you know anything after spending only two minutes with a person" her eyes remained fixed on her work booklet.

"Well, I think you'd really like her once you got to know her. I recon you've got a lot in common actually. You might even become really good friends".

'A lot in common?' What did that mean!? Sex with Edward sprung to mind, but Bella tried to brush it aside, he'd made it clear before that Tanya was just a good friend, and so she would give him the benefit of the doubt for that. But it didn't mean she'd have to start liking her.

"I'm fine with the friends I've got thanks," an inconsiderate Bella answered distantly.

He huffed at her attitude. "Look" he smacked a hand down flat onto her sheet, blocking the information from her eyes. He was quickly growing impatient with her games. "I know you feel threatened by her, but there's really no need". Now that caught her attention. Tearing her vision away from Edwards sprawled out hand, she looked at him directly; not at all pleased by his accusations, despite him being right on the mark.

"I'm not threatened by anyone" she snapped back, "especially not Tanya" she placed emphasis onto the name; laced with a tang of bitterness. "I'm so very sorry that I'm not totally in love with her like everyone else is. Yes, I'm sure she's really great, but do we have to constantly keep going on about her!?" she rambled through her state of agitation.

Edward shook his head at her unbelievable state of jealousy. "Whatever," he scoffed, pulling an, 'I really can't be bothered with this anymore' face at her, before removing his hand. Allowing ignorance to consume her, Bella went back to her work.

"Maybe I should go" he spoke after a moment of silence. Apparently him being there just really wasn't helping. "You're not going to get anything done with me here" he made his excuses as he rose to his feet.

Bella's eyes failed to stray from her paper whilst he lingered at her doorway, it wasn't until Edward had left and the door closed behind him, that she put a hand to her head and sighed. What was she doing? Her jealousy was pushing him away. She didn't want that.

She forcefully tried to remind herself of their 'no strings' deal. Maybe repeating it over and over again in her head would help it sink in, because no longer could they go on like this. The tension between them was like a car crash waiting to happen, and there were far too many potential casualties involved with this incident.

Something had to give…

………………………

Like a moth drawn to a flame, Bella stood nervously outside Edward's bedroom door. Their parents were still out, more wedding dramas to be solved apparently, but the time alone hadn't been taken advantage of like it usually would've for Bella and Edward. And although Bella craved to feel Edwards hands on her body, his tongue caressing her own and her leg hitched at his hip, she was growing increasingly concerned over her recent behaviour.

She raised her hand in an attempt to knock the door, but froze; the butterflies in her stomach more like bats now, fearing that once she did face him, she might say something wrong and only push him further away. With a sigh she turned on her heel; ready to head back to her room for further moping and mental torment, but the door swung open a second later, and she turned back around to see Edward, who now stood at his doorway in question.

"Bella?" his face frowned, fixed with confusion as he waited for her.

"Hi" she took a big shaky breath in. "Um… I came, to apologise".

His head bobbed once after seconds of him staring at her, "Right", before he stepped aside, letting her in.

Now was her chance, to make not everything, but something's better. She only hoped she wouldn't screw it up.

"I don't, really know what to say," she turned on her heel to observe him closing the door. Suddenly feeling stupid; she'd never had to apologise to Edward before. It was usually the other way around. "I just… I'm sorry for the way I've acted the past few days. I could put it down to hormones but, it's not just that. I'd just be making excuses …" She couldn't believe she was about to openly admit to him, that her jealousy had gotten the better of her, but it needed to be said, even if she did only admit it in a round-about-way. "You were right, I guess. Maybe I am getting a little, paranoid or something. Everything's just getting on top of me," she brushed her hair behind her ears. "School, the wedding… us," she sighed with helplessness and a sense of longing. Did the term 'us' even qualify for them anymore? "I thought I could handle it, but, obviously not. But even so, the last thing I want is for you to hate me".

He focused hard on what she'd said, appreciative that she'd found the strength to own up to her behaviour. Too bad he wasn't manly enough to admit he also got jealous now and then. And if their honesty was reciprocated, Edward might have gone as far as admitting that he'd spent the majority of the previous evening having to counsel himself out of jabbing his fork into the waiters eye. Yes, there was no doubt about it; Bella wasn't the only one who struggled with feelings of jealousy.

"Bella, I could never hate you. I've come close, believe me" smirked Edward, "But, it wouldn't happen" his eyes softened.

She was relieved to hear that much, and a small smile spread across her face. "Well… well that's it anyway" she said shrugging, feeling more nervous around him now than ever before. For so long Bella had been the one to make their 'no strings' deal continually known, but it was only recently that jealousy had reared its ugly head, shifting things completely. She wondered silently where this would leave their relationship.

"I'll er, I'll leave you to it". She started for the door, but his hand on her arm caused her to stop.

"You don't have to go" Edward informed her. "In fact" a teasing smile played on his lips, "I urge you not too" he added, and she couldn't help but smile back. "I've … I've missed you" he could barely look into her eyes as he said that; not usually one to become so nervy around her, his confidence usually brimmed, but things were different now. They were actually talking about their feelings for one, which was a complete turn around! "Its weird, I feel like, I haven't seen you in days or something" his brow twitched a little following his statement.

She was pleased to hear he'd missed her. She only hoped it wasn't the sex he was solely referring too.

"Come here, turn around" he told her, and she turned her back towards him. He then went on to knead her shoulders, applying pressure to the knots and tight muscles he located, and massaging them to release. Her head almost rolled back at the contact.

"You're so tense" he observed, pausing a little to remove her open shirt and dropping it to the floor. She stood then in her white laced tank top, her neck on show as he brushed her hair to one side.

His breath on her neck had her toes curling up into the carpet in sheer excitement. And at first touch of his plump lips on her skin, her eyes fell shut, a goofy smile drifting onto her face as he peppered light kisses along the expanse of her neck.

Unable to resist him any longer, she spun around, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him desperately.

He kissed her back, responding to her with just as much passion and force. They stumbled back towards his bed, the wooden frame of the bed hitting the backs of her legs, before he ushered her down gently onto the duvet, pressing himself on top of her. Her legs wound around his waist, claiming him as hers.

It'd felt so long since they'd been together, the last time being the club night, when she'd taken a step on the wild side and found herself getting up close and personal with her fathers Chevy.

It was now that she realised she wouldn't half mind going back to that place and reliving that moment all over again. She'd gladly do it anywhere in fact, if it meant she could be with Edward.

He frowned, brought to attention as he felt her hand fumbling with the zip on his jeans. Despite every inch of him wanting her to carry on, he stopped her, in the process breaking their kiss.

"We cant" he informed her breathlessly; face deflated as he looked down at her. It took her a moment before she registered why. Remembering whereabouts she was in her monthly cycle, and no matter how much she wanted Edward, or how badly she ached to feel him, there was no way in hell she would ever become that desperate… the thought was utterly disturbing considering her state at present.

"Oh right… yeah. I almost forgot" she spoke miserably, but he simply smiled back at her adoringly, brushing his thumb over her rosy cheek.

"In a few days though, for sure" he tried to cheer her up, moving over a little to one side, giving her room to make her more comfortable.

"Two actually. I should be fine by Friday" her face beamed at just the thought of it. And his eyebrows rose at her words, "Is that right?" his eyes blazed at her with desire.

She nodded back, gazing back into his eyes dreamily. He placed a slow passionate kiss onto her lips. This kiss was one of those one-offs that occurred between them only once in awhile, it was meaningful and sensual, and she immediately sunk into him, moaning into his magic. She always savoured these kisses more so than their more common rougher ones. The hungry, animalistic side to their sex was great when it started, but now Bella craved for something more thoughtful… even if it did threaten to break the boundaries of their little agreement.

Pulling away he scanned her expression. "It's nice to see you smile" he noted, and her cheeks flushed at his sweetness. "And hey, two days is nothing" he brushed it off uncaringly. "We'll just have to think of something else to do to pass the time" he teased her playfully, hovering above her as his hands slid up her sides towards her bra. But a voice downstairs calling for them, "Edward? Bella? You guys here!?" caused him to stop abruptly. "Or not" added Edward hastily, pulling himself away from her and helping her up.

"Just hold that thought" Bella told him, a glint in her eye, before fixing her shirt. Together they made their way down the stairs, with smiles of happiness on both of their faces for once…

Preview: Things are finally back on track with Bella and Edward! And a trip to the local library has Edward delightfully intrigued =P

But will an unexpected discovery change everything forever? What could it be? And who discovers it?

Stay tuned to find out…

Please comment if you're still with me! =D