"I love you! Call me when you get there, no matter what time it is. I'll miss you so much. I'll visit soon." I was caught in in the longest bear hug ever and I never wanted it to end. Rob's shirt was stained with tears. "I love you." Rob smoothed my hair and pressed his lips to mine.
"I love you too. I promise to call you as soon as possible. I love you." He kissed me one more time before waving good bye. I stood helplessly in the terminal, watching as he got on the plane.
"Bye." I croaked and wiped the tears out of my eyes. "I love you."
On my way back to the loft, I stopped by my dad's house to pick up my stuff. I had piled all my stuff in my room last night. I crammed all of my stuff into the back of my car and went to tell my dad I was leaving. He was sitting in the living room, hunched over his laptop.
"Dad, I've been thinking about moving out." I sat down on the couch. My dad paused and looked up with a puzzled expression.
"Why?" He closed what he was doing and turned to face me.
"I feel it's time." I shrugged. My dad looked concerned.
"Where are you going to stay?"
"Rob wanted me to look after his loft while he was away. I said I would." I shrugged again and got off the couch. "I better get going." I gave him a quick hug and kiss before running out the door. It didn't go quite as I had planned in my head, but he didn't object. I didn't give him time to. I sighed and turned the key to start the car. I had a new surge of adrenaline from my freedom, but could feel the huge hole in my heart aching. I took a deep breath and drove quietly to my new home.
When I got to 6A, there was a Post-it on the door. I pulled it off carefully and stared at the slender writing on it.
Claire,
Welcome to the loft. I miss you so much. I'll call you soon.
Love you more each moment.
Rob
I reread it over and over again, clinging to the bit of him he left for me. I sighed and opened the door. The loft looked the same, but it held a new emptiness. It felt incomplete, just like I did. I dragged my bags in behind me and headed up upstairs to the bedroom. My heart leaped when I saw another Post-it.
Claire,
I'm leaving Post-its for you to find while your here. Feel free to
eat anything out of the fridge, but be careful for the salsa in the back, I
think it expire a year ago. Love you.
Rob
I laughed and pushed open the door, to see a large master bedroom. There was a large window looking out over the city. The bed was not made, but I didn't mind. I dropped my bags and curled up on the bed, it smelt like him. I then realized how sad that was and laughed at myself. I got up and went down to the kitchen to scope out the food supplies. I need to see if I needed to pick up anything.
I opened the fridge to show it was fully stocked with drinks, food and takeout. I felt relieved that I didn't have to go shopping today. I just wanted to stay in and find the post-its.
By noon, I hadn't found any more. I was slightly disappointed, I felt alone again. For lunch, I made a grilled cheese sandwich, but it didn't come out very well. It was burnt and gross. I took a bite and threw the rest away. I sighed and dug through the fridge for food. I settled on some leftovers he had. While it warmed up, I opened the cabinet under his tv to pick out a dvd. I picked out my favorite movie, The Princess Bride, and popped open the case. There, on top of the disc, was a post-it.
Claire,
I know how much you love this movie and wish I could be there to
watch it with you. Have fun storming the castle. Love you.
Rob
I had started a pile of the post-its on the counter. I add this one to it and got my food out of the microwave. I carefully balanced my plate while putting the disc in the dvd player, and pressed play.
I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew it was 8:00. I flipped off the dvd player and got off the couch reluctantly. I saw there was a new message on the answering machine.
"Hey, It's Rob. I just landed. I miss you. Call me when you get this." I was already dialing before the message was done. The phone rang twice before he picked up.
"Hello?" My heart leaped. I missed his voice.
"Hey!" I had so much to say, but didn't know how to put it all into words.
"Claire, I'm so glad you got my message. How are you?" Rob's soft British accent made my heart ache.
"I'm okay. I miss you so much. I like the notes you left though. I'm trying to figure out what to do with my days. I'm thinking of doing some theater. I was going to see if my dad knew about anything that he thought I might be interested in." I paused and sighed. "So, how are you? How was the flight?"
"It was fine. I had a layover in London and I stopped by to say hello to my sister, Lizzy. She's doing well. When I got to Dublin, I checked into the hotel and called you straight away. I start filming next week, but they wanted to have us all get to know each other. I was actually starstruck. I'm doing a movie with Gerard Butler and Cate Blanchett. Wow. I can't wait for you to meet them. I miss you so much. I have to go, I'm sorry. I miss you so much. Bye." I wanted to object but all I could manage was a soft 'bye'.
I put the phone back on the receiver and sighed. Alone again. I tried to hold back the tears that stung my eyes, but one slipped out. I quickly wiped it away and went upstairs. I headed to the bathroom with my Ipod docking station under my arm. I turned on the music and started to draw a bath.
The water was warm and camouflaged the salty tears. The song played loudly, drowning out my thoughts. I sat there for a good hour, finally getting out when my fingers were wrinkly.
The night was long. I watched tv till nearly 1am before drifting to sleep on the couch. When I woke up I glanced at the clock on the dvd player. It was 5am. I was dead tired, but I felt so alone. I could feel the huge hole in my heart was growing each moment. I brought my knees to my chin and wrapped my arms around them. My face was wet with tears and my eyes were scratchy. I got up off the couch and found my way upstairs to the bedroom. I curled up on the bed and inhaled Rob's scent. He smelt of Hollister cologne, vanilla and musk. I wrapped the soft sheets around me and fell asleep again.