SO sorry for the wait guys! Thanks for all the comments =] and to Mrs Boyscout for informing me of my slight typo in the last chapter xD
Hope you enjoy!
Chapter 12:
"Bella, talk to me" pleaded Alice, as she sat her best friend down on her king-size bed, enveloping her up with her red cashmere throw.
"I can't," sobbed Bella; her hands clinging onto the soft material that hugged at her frame.
"Of course you can". Alice's fingers moved the strands of fallen hair that covered Bella's moist face.
Bella snivelled as her words came out in a whisper. "You're going to think so badly of me," she replied, which only made her weep even harder.
Reaching over Alice took a hold of the tissue box on her bedside table, offering one to Bella. "As if I would Bella" sighed Alice; hating to see her best friend of 17 years so broken. But a sensation of dread crackled between them, with the words lingering on the tip of Bella's tongue ready to finally reveal all, whilst Alice waited in patience, concerned about the nature of her friend's upset. It must have been something pretty bad for her to get this worked up, Alice thought silently to herself.
"I …" Bella made an attempt at saying the words, but had to slam her eyes shut in order to continue. "I've been sleeping with Edward" it came out like a breath of words. And Bella's head dipped in waiting for Alice's reaction. Shock? Horror? Disgust?
But it never came.
As Bella's head raised, her eyes opening to meet the gaze of the brunette pixie sitting beside her, she spoke the words Bella had never been expecting to hear.
"I know".
Apparently Bella had been the one in for a shock. And a gasp caught in the back of her throat, as Alice's expression failed to waver. "You know?" she pulled back slightly, wary and confused. "How can you know?" Bella's eyes narrowed inquisitively.
A breath escaped Alice's lips. "I've known for awhile".
"But how?" cried Bella, as she struggled to understand. "We've been so careful… well, at least I thought we had" she looked at the floor as if searching for answers.
"Obviously not careful enough" Alice offered a sympathetic smile in return, once again reaching over to remove the hair that stuck to her friends cheek. "I've always had my suspicions about you two. Edwards always been a charmer Bella, and I know how much he drove you crazy growing up. It seemed almost, inevitable".
Bella turned back to face her friend. "So you just, guessed?"
"No … my mind was made up last week. Saturday night. When Edward turned up at the club un-announced" she reminded her, jogging Bella's memory back to that night. "I'd taken Jessica outside to get a cab, but I realised I only had a 20 left in my purse. So I went back inside to get some change. I wondered where you were in the hope that you might've had some, so I took a look around. And that's when I saw you, you were kissing him".
Realisation hit her hard. "Oh". How could she have possibly forgotten that momentous night! It had been a corner stone in the shifting of their relationship. It all then came screaming back to her. It seemed so foolish now, to think at the time that no one had seen them.
"Yeah, Oh" remarked Alice mockingly, but she quickly turned serious, "Look Bella, I'm not going to judge you, or lecture you. I'm not even going to ask you what you were thinking. But I am going to say this … you're lucky Jessica stayed outside, because this would've blown up in your face on a whole other level if she'd have found out" her voice warned her, and Bella's heart thumped in her chest at her lucky escape. Having her father catch her in bed with Edward was certainly one thing, but having a drunken Jessica Stanley, the gossip girl of Forks High see you kissing your 'brother', well, that was something else entirely.
Bella nodded back, understandingly. "And then, there's something else" Alice took a moment, her expression thoughtful. "We're best friends Bella; we have been for 16 years, since we met for the first ever time at 'Baby Day Care,'" Bella nodded once again. "So how could you not confide in me about something so important?"
The look on Alice's face showed she was hurt, and disappointed that she hadn't turned to her until now. Bella's heart sunk at that, just knowing she'd let down (in some form or another) the people that cared for her most of all. "I'm sorry. It was all such a mess, and I didn't even know what any of it meant. I didn't want to have to drag anyone else into it. Especially with exams coming up, we've all got so much to think about".
"Oh please. Don't use our exams as an excuse over this".
"But I just didn't want to worry you" declared Bella desperately.
"Worry me? Bella, I can handle it, seriously. What worries me more is thinking you'd have to go through this, or anything, on your own. I want you to feel like you can talk to me… your life and your concerns are important to me" she took Bella's hands in her own as she spoke. "I also happen to offer some pretty sound advice here and there, advice I'm always willing to share; if only you knew that. I'm always here for you Bella, no matter what".
Bella sobbed through her smile, touched by her friends words, whilst silently wishing she'd just come to Alice sooner. Maybe if she had've done, this mess she was in now could've been avoided. But could-have's and should-have's were useless now. There was no point in decoding the past, or pondering alternative ways that could've prevented the inevitable from occurring. What's done is done. All that mattered now was the future; the future of the family. Which, as of right this second, was very much a question mark…
…
The following morning.
The walk into the house felt like a walk towards judgement day. Which it was, in a matter of speaking. The walls beyond that front door had once held back a lot of undisclosed secrets. But even secrets can't remain hidden forever. And last night, Bella's biggest, darkest secret of all had been revealed for all eyes to see.
Sadly it had been her fathers oblivious eyes that'd caught the brunt of it. And what a shock that had been. Still, there was no way of knowing what to expect from the morning after. How was he even handling the news after a good nights sleep? If he'd even slept at all that is!
If yesterdays reaction said anything though, Bella could expect a lot of confusion, upset, disapproval and potentially a few unintelligent words thrown in to go with it.
Unlocking the front door Bella stepped inside. She was immediately brought to the attention of the kitchen, and at the rattling sound of pots and pans.
Prior to entering the kitchen, she took a moment to look around. The space felt cold and empty with Edward and Esme' gone. She'd gotten so used to it being the four of them, and now it was back to just the two of them. Originally, Edward and Esme' had been scheduled to leave tomorrow, but having been faced with the Friday night drama, mother and son had chosen to leave some time earlier. It was for the best though, there was no way Bella could handle seeing her father as well as Edward after the events of the previous night. She was barely holding it together as it was.
Closing her eyes, a conversation she'd had with Alice, earlier this morning ran through her mind.
"Do you love him?" Asked Alice, as they sat at the breakfast table. Bella couldn't touch her cereal though; her stomach was far too tender, she simply played with it, swishing the chocolaty hoops around the milk in tiny circles.
She shrugged, "I … I'm not sure …" she stared at the bowls contents, watching as the milk became chocolaty in colour. "I've never been in love before … even with Jacob, it felt more like a friendship. It was all one level you know, there was no passion or hunger there. I cared about him, but …" her trance grew more intense, but her eyes were no longer focused on the cereal, they simply stared at nothing, lured into a daze. "But with Edward, it's so different. He used to drive me around the bend teasing me, and occasionally he still does" a hint of a smile played on her lips. "But then there's days when he feels like he's my best friend, it's so comfortable, so easy. And then, there's other times when just one look from him can make my legs turn to jelly ... He makes me feel like I'm the only girl in the world".
"So then, you do love him" Alice summarised with a smile. And Bella's eyes flickered at the sound of another voice, bringing her back to reality.
She looked across into Alice's eyes "I tried not too" admitted a glum Bella helplessly, a tear threatening to spill from her eye. "And then I think of Charlie, and how hard this must be for him…" a soundly exhale passed Alice's lips. " I went behind his back Alice, under his roof, every night. No wonder he could barely look at me" she told her.
"Charlie will get over it … and at the end of the day, I'm sure all he wants is for you to be happy".
Bella nodded back; knowing she was probably right. "And then there's Edward… I don't even know how he feels. He rarely spoke of his feelings on an average day. And when I left him last night, he seemed so, broken. Like he'd given up".
"Bella" Alice leant forward to touch her friends hand; she'd gone around in circles like this for the past 12 hours, with Alice patiently listening to her rambles. In doing so though, it was only making Bella feel worse. "I think you're over thinking things. I don't think you can know anything until you talk to these people. You should go home and talk to Charlie, and you should definitely talk to Edward. And who knows, maybe you're both on the same page with this".
"Yeah … Maybe"…
Taking a step into the kitchen Bella lingered at the doorway. Charlie hadn't seen her yet, unless he knew she was there, but was trying his hardest to pretend she didn't exist. She hoped it wasn't the latter.
Biting the bullet she called for him. "Dad?" she hesitantly spoke out, as he stood with his back to her at the hob. On hearing his name he turned to face her, and within a split second his face had lit up.
"Bellz!" he practically cheered for her, and her face twitched with a smile of relief. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad after all! "I made waffles!" he went on, scurrying around the kitchen obliviously. "Take a seat! You're definitely going to want to try these!"
As the seconds passed by though and Charlie's rambles became ever clear, Bella's face began to fall. Something twisted inside of her stomach at his behaviour; purposefully avoiding the obvious. She'd expected to return home to a full on debate or argument. Maybe even a mature adult to adult discussion? But as of yet received nothing. It was as if nothing had even happened, just another normal day in the Swan residence. But it wasn't a normal day, as of last night things had changed. Relationships had shifted, questions had been raised… it just wasn't Charlie that was asking them.
"Dad, don't you want to… talk?" she offered, in the hope that he'd snap out of it. But he rolled his eyes at her mockingly. "There's nothing to talk about. What's done is done. Everything's fine," he smiled, giving her a look that said, 'just leave it'.
"Now come on, sit down and eat, before they get cold!" he told her as he took a seat himself.
With a disbelieving frown on her face, she joined him at the table. It was plain to see what was happening. He was trapped in the realms of denial. She knew all about this, a common psychological defence mechanism that often followed a traumatic event of some kind. In short, it was a coping strategy. She just hadn't expected it to happen to Charlie. She knew he'd find it difficult, facing up to reality was always a challenge, but Bella had hoped he'd have dealt with it better than this.
Clearly a mature conversation with her father was too much to ask for.
"Not half bad huh?" he grinned as he dug into his waffles, Bella meanwhile played with hers, the thick nervous feeling in her stomach leading to a lack of appetite. "I always knew I should've been a chef" Charlie mindlessly uttered to himself, as Bella's eyes of concern continually flicked up to her father.
No, everything was most definitely not fine.
A/N: I'll hopefully get the next one up a little sooner than the last! Hope you're still with me =] xxx