I watched New Moon for "research". Wonky nipple man made me laugh.
Also, my fic was recced in the Twilight Sucks forum! I feel so famous now. Also, you guys can give me ideas, but I'm sorry for the mistakes. If they are twilight related mistakes, then I don't care. If they are Akatsuki mistakes,then sorry! This fic will have four chapters.
Hidan vs Edward Cullen
Chapter 2
New Moon
There are a few ways to kill vampires in Meyerworld. One of them is, of course, fire.
This explains why there isn't any vampires (left) in Australia and other places where fires are common, such as tribes in which they worshipped fire. Another to kill vampires is blowing them apart so that they are unrecognizable, but the explosion has to be powerful enough to rip their limbs apart.
Maybe if just ONE other vampire besides Alice had the power of the future... but then again, she rang Aro's secretary and informed them that they were going to be blown up, except that she didn't have Aro's secretary's number and therefore by the time she found it, it was too late.
And also, Deidara and Tobi had flown towards Volterra, wouldn't a vampire actually fly out to greet them?
~*~*~*~
"They should have put up a fight, un!"
"Uh, Sempai, I'm pretty sure they didn't see you coming because you, you know, are flying above them."
"According to these books all vampires have super powers! One should have at least came to see me, the artist whom created these wonderful explosions! And where were the security guards!? They were probably admiring my clay models, un."
While Deidara gloated on and on about his big bang on Volterra, Tobi stopped listening. Well, he did listen to his sempai most of the time. But he needed to contact Pein to tell them their mission was accomplished. It was Madara Mode time.
Amegakure, 11:46pm.
"Pein."
It stopped raining instantly. Pein put down his pen, to listen to what Madara had to say.
"Yes, Madara?"
"Volterra is down... Although we have come into a few plot problems."
"Good, that Volterra is down... but what are these "plot problems"?"
There was a moment's silence.
"How long did it take Deidara to blow the place up?" Sun started to shine.
"About two minutes max. But there's a few problems. We did not have a fight to come to us, and so we have figured out that apparently these vampires cannot fly... I was under the impression vampires turned into bats, to be honest, but I figured that these ones don't."
"Well that's a plus for Deidara."
"I also thought all vampires had super powers, too."
Pein shook his head, although he knew Madara wouldn't see it because he was speaking in his mind to him.
Reaching his hand out to his drawer, Pein drew out New Moon.
"According to New Moon, and then a little bit in Breaking Dawn, there are guards which do not possess special gifts. Did Deidara use his special firey explosives?"
"That I know of, yes-"
"The Volterri, according to the New Moon film, also live underground. Did Deidara know that."
"...I will just check with Deidara."
Madara went back into Tobi-Mode; the sunset was setting on the European landscape. It looked beautiful.
"Uh, Sempai, we might need to go back."
"Why, hmmm?"
"Uh... how good are you at reading-"
"Is that a threat, un!?" Deidara turned around, glaring at Tobi. "I can read. Text is a type of art, un!"
"No, no, it's just that you read all the Twilight books, didn't you?"
"Yes."
"Have you watched the films?"
"Zetsu gave me a copy of the new New Moon film from the internet." Said Deidara shortly. "It's on my usb, un."
(Please note the Akatsuki also contribute to illegal internet piracy activities).
There was a slight pause.
"Um according to-" Tobi hastily changed his words; so that Deidara wouldn't know he was just communicating to Pein, "Well from what I've read-"
"Wait? You can read, hmm?"
"Yeah. From what I can remember, the Volturi live underground, and the tourists hang around overground... so everyone is probably dead except the Volturi."
"Oh shit."
Deidara and Tobi stopped their birds.
Pein's voice came into their heads.
"TURN BACK NOW."
Just as he gave his commandant, Tobi screamed.
"WATCH OUT SEMPAI!"
"The Volturi are down. I cannot make contact with them." Alice said urgently into Edward's head. Both he, Kakuzu and Hidan were in Seattle, on an apartment building rooftop. Edward had ran all the way there, trying to see if Kakuzu and Hidan would follow. But this was a pretty bad idea, as it was daylight, and all they had to do was to follow the shiny sparkly disco-ball thing jumping from rooftop to rooftop.
"Down!?" Edward gasped out, dodging a thread for Kakuzu which tried to slice his arm off.
"Even though I can't hear what you said, we have lost all communication with the Volturi. Hang on..." Alice gasped, and in her head she had a vision.
"Edward, be careful!"
"I'm pretty sure this dude is older than you," Hidan suddenly appeared underneath Edward, his sythe ready. Edward's eyes widened, and
swish.
Hidan missed, but he was not fast enough for the vampire, as Edward dodged, butterscotch topaz eyes shimmering softly in the daylight, but managed to catch a bit of Hidan's scythe, which bent in an angle which almost cut into Hidan's leg. The silver-haired man dropped his scythe, and Edward turned towards him.
Edward saw this as a chance to place two hands on Hidan's ears and rip his head off.
"Give up." Edward whispered, his hair, like in most stereotypical romantic films, was blowing in the wind. (This was because it was windy). "You have no chance. Don't go near Bella, or my family. Ever again."
Kakuzu seemed to not be bothered by the fact Hidan's body and Hidan's head were only connected by the trailed of blood coming out of Hidan's exposed flesh.
The vampire could smell the blood... but it did not smell of Bella's blood, or any normal human he seemed to smell on the street. It was strong, and so powerful.
"Smells good, doesn't it?" Hidan's head grinned from the ground. "The blood. You and I are so alike, both needing blood to survive."
Kakuzu heard him and kicked his head. It fell about 5 feet away from Edward, who stared at the head, which was making expressions like any other human being... what the hell...?
"You dare talk to the vampire like you are his equal." Snarled Kakuzu.
"But I'm just saying - " Hidan tried to protest. Kakuzu kicked him again.
"Shut up."
"Fuck you, asshole. you don't need blood. I wasn't going to even fucking side with him!"
"If I need blood, I go to an abattoir. Now shut up." Kakuzu seized Hidan's head, and at the same time, threads came out his body. These threads dragged Hidan's body over to Kakuzu, where he stitched Hidan back together. Hidan then picked up his bent scythe, grinning, almost manically, at Edward.
Edward could not believe what was happening. Was this Hidan man a vampire? He smelt just like a human being. Had the human race evolved to such immortality over the years, that he did not know it?
"Hidan." Kakuzu muttered. "We'll need a fire attack."
"My scythe is fucked up, but I can handle that." Hidan tested it. He just needed to throw at a different angle now. It was no use trying to communicate through their heads (via Pein) because Edward would hear them. "Let's kill it with fire. Because "kill it with sunlight" does not obviously work for Cedric here."
Edward's eyes narrowed. He had taken them to the rooftop for a few reasons:, they main one to try and separate those two, and the face that if they fell, because they are human, they would basically create a human pancake if they fell to the ground.
Kakuzu jumped first, creating hand signals and forming fire. Edward jumped, and Hidan ran straight into the now on-fire rooftop. His burning body, the Akatsuki cloak now in flames, he threw off and landed near Edward's ankle.
The vampire's shoe caught on fire.
"Bella, we have found some information on the two who are trying to kill you." Alice handed Bella a cup of tea. She nodded and took the cup without complaint. "I saw the dark man creating hand signals."
"Are they human?" she whispered.
Alice thought over that for a bit. "I'm not too sure, but they smell like human. They might be a hybrid species... Volturi is down that I know of. I can't see that far. I suspect that they were taken down by another group of these people, I'm not too sure... I saw explosions, I swear, but I'm not sure how powerful they were."
"Will Edward be fine?"
Alice sighed. "I'm sorry Bella... but I'm not too sure."
Konan had been watching Hidan and Kakuzu from afar. As a paper butterfly of course. She just didn't go near the fire which Kakuzu had created because she would burn like said paper. She had noticed that they were getting almost next to know where in the fight; except that Edward's tshirt had caught fire and he had to rip it off. Konan twitched at the sight of his pale chest and forcibly reminded herself that she was on Akatsuki's side, not the vampires, no matter how many times she had read the series, and how many times she had memorized the book so she could read in her head while the Akatsuki were sealing tailed beasts.
She flew away just in the knack of time as a fireball exploded.
Edward had been too busy covering his face from the flames that he did not see Hidan, his scythe in scorching hot flames, reach out and stabbed him in the back. The scythe went right into his supposedly-diamond-skin, and out through his chest.
TBC.