The morning after the shooting passed in a blur before Ella's eyes. Joey, to the relief of everyone in the household had packed up and gone by dawn. Ella had heard him leave, being unable to sleep after the events of the day before. It wasn't long before Maria was getting her up and dressed, making her eat a small amount of bread to fill her stomach. Then leaving the children in Billy's care Maria helped Ella to go and say goodbye one last time to Dave.

The burial was quick and without much ceremony; the priest of the town said a few words as the hole was filled in over the crude, rickety wooden coffin. Maria wrapped her arm about Ella's shoulders as the young girl watched on feeling neither angry nor sad, just empty, her eyes glassy and unseeing as she stood beside her friend, the only two people that had come to pay their last respects to Dave Rudabaugh. She hadn't expected more people, Dave had never been a popular man, his social skills were lacking and he often rubbed people the wrong way, but still Ella felt disappointed for him, to have so few people stand at his graveside made the hollow feeling that already lay heavily within her stomach grow a little more. It was a strange feeling to feel so empty over a man she knew she no longer loved and had not loved for a long time, someone who had brought her nothing but misery and remorse, yet she did feel empty….

Ella allowed Maria to guide her back home.

The days passed in a slow haze, Dave was dead and though in a way Ella knew she should feel free, she could not. Dave had been her husband for nearly three years of her life, the first man she had had a serious relationship with, the first man she had thought she loved. It was true that through those years she could not remember them spending even a full week together, but still he had been her husband, no matter how many bad times they had been through, how many times he had been unkind. She must have loved him once, cared for him and she had never wished him to die, not even in her wildest imaginings. But he was dead, he had been killed and the worst part of it was that Ella couldn't help but feel she had something to do with it all, perhaps her wishing to be with Doc had caused God to punish her for her wicked thoughts. She had wanted to be free of her husband for so long, had often wished that he would not come back when he left on one of his rides, perhaps become infatuated with another girl and just leave, but it had never happened. Dave it seemed hadn't had the time for romance or at least had not found any girl he wanted to leave Ella for, Ella was sure there had been other girls but Dave was lazy and must have liked his whores and his wife. His whores he could visit when he wished and his wife never needed payment, to him it must have been an easy life…

She retreated further into herself as each day passed, a dark shadow clouded all her thinking and Maria and the children began to worry. Ella neglected her chores, lost interest in anything that had caused her any peace or joy before and her appetite was only the vaguest need to fuel her body. Most days she sat by the window, watching the village's happenings until Maria coaxed her out of her seat to help her cook or gather washing, anything to make her young friend do something other than brood. But Ella didn't see the concern and worry behind Maria's eyes; she hardly saw anything clearly anymore.

The weeks passed, turning to months. Summer came and Ella hardly felt the intense heat and by late summer she became glaringly aware that still Doc did not come or send word; Ella began to think that he had finally abandoned her, seeing her for the useless thing she herself saw every time she looked into the mirror… If Doc didn't want her she felt as if she was truly lost, she had thought that he would save her from her darkest hour that if she could just see his warm, smiling face she would become herself again and feel joy and all the feelings she could no longer remember… but he did not come.

---

It was late summer, many months after Dave's burial before Joey made an appearance in Ojinaga again. He rode into town on a new and expensive black horse, his saddle and clothing near brand new and the rumors flared that he had once again been robbing trains. Word soon reached the village that he had done just that, four trains, killing twelve men in cold blood. Not even demanding the money, just sitting high upon a hill, he had picked each one off with his rifle, taking the small amount of money aboard and on one train he had even left a cargo of live sheep to roast in the sun and die of thirst. The villagers began to whisper that he was the devil, that he had no feelings for anything, that he was the worst kind of killer and gave him a wide berth whenever they could. Everyone knew it would only be a matter of time before a posse was sent after Joey Garza, the railroad companies would not stand for such large losses and many in the village hoped that day would be soon. He returned back to his mother's house where of course, as always, he was given shelter and a safe place to stay - much to the displeasure of Maria's neighbors.

"You are back" Maria said, coming out to meet him as he rode up the path casually.

Joey glanced down at her but made no attempt at replying, he stabled his horse and began to gather his belongings that had been tied to the saddle as his mother watched on.

"I should not welcome you home this time, not after what you did" she scolded.

"I did nothing but kill an old gringo Mama, a gringo who thought too much of himself." He cast a lazy gaze over at her, unconcerned with her words.

"You killed my friend's husband Joey!" Maria whispered heatedly. "Ella is still with us, do not make things difficult." She put her hand on her son's shoulder, "Just keep out of her way." Maria did not feel she could scold her son too harshly, after all Dave had been an outlaw, a killer and had hurt her friend, but the young woman seemed to not be recovering from her husband's death and she wanted to make the peace in her house balanced. She would not ask Ella to leave but she could not turn her son away…

Joey again cast his cold gaze upon her before shrugging off her touch. "If she keeps out of my way, we will not have a problem." His tone was untroubled, bored.

Maria raised her hands in defeat and left him to finish unburdening his horse.

---

Ella sat at the table, her gaze focused upon the window but her eyes weren't actually seeing anything. Her skin was pallid and sickly looking; her hair would have been in disarray if Maria had not insisted in dressing it for her each day. Today it was pulled back with a simple strip of cotton gauze into a low ponytail at the base of her neck.

Maria returned to the house and after a moment fussing over the stove she placed a bowl of hot stew before Ella and a spoon beside it.

"Ella," she said, almost in exasperation, "please try and eat something today, you will make yourself sick."

Ella gave a small nod as if answering a question that hadn't been asked.

"Ella!"

Ella jumped a little at the sound, her eyes leadenly moving to meet her friend's.

"Eat something!" Maria commanded, pointing to the bowl.

Ella turned her eyes back to the stew, her stomach grumbled for the nourishment but her tongue felt as if it were covered in ash and the thought of eating anything sickened her.

"I'll try later, I ain't hungry" she whispered hoarsely through dry lips.

Maria mumbled something under her breath before picking up a basket to gather the washing that was hanging on the line outside.

Ella didn't notice that Joey had entered mid way through the scene; he leant on the doorframe, watching as his mother became frustrated with the young woman at the table who looked like a strange spirit, far too pale and ghostly looking to be real. His mother bustled past him and he watched after her a moment before casually walking over to the table. Ella heard the boots, the clink of spurs and her eyes moved slowly to see who she already knew was approaching from the familiar sound. She had thought the next time she saw his face she would want to kill him, that she would become wild with anger and pounce upon him until she had ripped him to shreds but looking upon him now she felt nothing, just a strange emptiness and without a hint of emotion touching her features she returned her gaze to the window. She thought faintly that perhaps she was losing her mind, to feel nothing as her husband's killer stood right before her.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw him pick up the spoon that was laid out before her and was not surprised, he had killed her husband; why not eat her stew... She continued her unseeing gaze, wishing he would just take the damn food and leave her to herself. He dipped the spoon into the stew and in a flash his gloved hand was around her jaw, his grip like a vice. She gave a startled noise of surprise as he forced her to open her lips. Ella's gaze flew to his face, her eyes wide as she tried to understand his actions. He glared down at her, his blue eyes seeming to burn into her - although with what emotion, anger or pleasure, she could not tell, perhaps it was a mixture of both…

"My mother has made you food gringo," he sneered, "you are an ungrateful and stupid woman." Without another word he forced the spoon into her mouth and then pulled it out placing his hand quickly over her lips giving her no other choice but to swallow.

Ella suddenly felt a wave of emotion shoot through her limbs, the effect feeling almost as if she had been under water for a long time and had only just now broken through the surface taking that first life saving gulp of air. Her eyes again flew to his, this time they stared at him in anger and revulsion. She pushed violently against him, freeing her mouth of his hand. She stood up from her seat, knocking the chair off balance.

"Don't you touch me!" she hissed, her tone dangerous.

Joey's eyes glanced over her, his coolness not faltering. "Sit down" he ordered calmly.

Ella stood her ground, her hands clenching in and out of fists.

"I said sit down!" Joey said, his tone more forceful. "Or I will make you."

Ella felt her anger begin to abate a little, the nervous feeling of being in his presence began to take over, there was something about him that still unnerved her, her mind flashed warnings and slowly she obeyed, picking up the chair and sitting herself in it.

"Now eat" Joey pointed to the bowl.

Ella looked up at him, hatred burning behind her eyes.

"Eat or I will force it down your throat!" He came closer to the table, his manner menacing.

She stared at him a moment trying to gauge if he would indeed carry out his threat. She glanced down at the bowl and told herself she was being stubborn, it was after all only food and if it would stop him paying attention to her she could do this one thing.

She gripped the spoon and begrudgingly began to eat the food, only fully realizing just how famished she had felt as the stew touched her tongue. Joey watched her eat every bite, a small smug smirk hinting cruelly at the corner of his mouth.

---

After her encounter with Joey, Ella seemed to snap out of the depths of depression she had been wallowing in. She put it down to not wanting to be embarrassed in such a way by him again, after all she had been weak, too weak in her soul to fight against him that day and she did not want that situation repeated. Maria was overjoyed that Ella seemed to have become more like her own self once again although Ella never admitted what had brought her back.

She left Dave where he belonged in her past; she slowly came to realize that although she was sad he was dead and gone; she had expected it for so long. He was always in trouble and it should not have come as such a shock when someone did shoot him, a fellow outlaw whom he had probably annoyed, it seemed Joey was easily annoyed. But she let him go and although it pained her she let Doc go too, he had never sent word or come back, for a long time she had made Billy ask whenever he went into the nearest big town for news or letters, but nothing came and Ella knew she had to let go…

It was mid-Autumn, the weather was still almost unbearably hot and with this weather, as seemed to happen every year, there came a steady stream of Texan men who wanted gambling and drinking in a new atmosphere. They were welcomed by the village because they spent money and even when they harassed the women they were let off without much of a stern warning, after all most of them were unsavory types that would just as soon shoot at a man as look at him. This time a German man named Lichtenstein accompanied the usual rabble, he was near about the age of sixty, handsome but tired looking and it was easy to tell he was vain and often drunk. It seemed he had become quite enamored with Maria, visiting her on a daily basis, Maria of course had no interest but the man could not seem to take no as an answer. Even Ella had tried to warn him away but still he came, even becoming so bold as to try and get upon friendly terms with her children, hoping this would welcome him into Maria's bed. Teresa and Raphael were ushered inside or onto chores if he showed up on their doorstep but Joey they could not control: Joey it seemed actually liked the man a little.

Ella wiped the sweat from her brow as she made her way back from Gordo's, the butcher's house. She had purchased some fresh beef for their evening meal. As she passed the small saloon her attention was caught by the old German man and Joey seemingly in deep conversation, or at least the German was talking a lot while Joey listened, it appeared he had also bought Joey a drink. Ella paused and after a moment's hesitation she walked over to the near deserted saloon and sat upon the edge of the porch watching both of the men for a moment.

She could hear the German talking about his gun, a rifle of some sort, his thick accent made it hard to understand some of what he said.

"Let's see if you can beat me, how about those cactus buds?" Lichtenstein pointed down the slope to where a cactus plant stood with large red buds.

Joey studied it for a moment before turning back and giving a certain nod. Lichtenstein smiled, his eyes hovering a little too long over Joey's face, glinting. Ella saw this look clearly, she'd seen it many times when she'd been younger and still a whore, there was a man that came in every month to the place she worked, he'd pay for one of the girls and then offer double to bed down with the young black boy they employed, all the girls knew he liked boys better than girls but still he did not change his ways, he thought if he slept with a girl first the boy would not be thought of as bad, this German gave Joey that same hungry look…

"You shoot first Joey." He held out his sleek rifle for Joey to take, his eyes still holding want.

Joey looked back at him, his eyes cold, telling the man silently that he knew his game and it was dangerous to play it with him. "No, you shoot first, then I will beat you." His tone was polite but icy.

Lichtenstein gave a vain long winded laugh. "You are in for a disappointment. I was the best marksman in the German army. I still have the medals. You have never shot a rifle this fine." He paused again studying Joey, he licked his dry lips. "It will take you time to adjust, no?"

Joey's gaze was upon the targets and he remained silent. The German gave a nod and aimed his long rifle and began to shoot. One bud fell, then a miss then another bud fell before two more misses. He gave a false laugh, "Missed three…" He wiped at his eyes. "It is the sweat, you see. It is not so hot in Germany. The sweat fogs up my telescope." He smiled as he said the words of excuse. "Still I think I beat you."

He handed the gun over to Joey who gladly took it and without hesitation or even giving himself a moment to acquaint himself with the rifle he aimed. The first shot easily took out a bud; he cocked it again with a hard pumping motion and took another bud out. Ella stopped watching the cactus and turned her attention to Joey. His mouth was harsh as he cocked the gun again, his eyes blazing with anger, hatred and violence… and something else. She studied him carefully as he pulled the trigger, it was something akin to sorrow, a great sadness mingled with all the other feelings making some new strange emotion that she could not understand. She persevered in studying him, watching his expressions in fascination as he continued until finally he lowered the gun, his face once more taking on the smooth, calm mask he always wore. Ella glanced over at the cactus; Joey had not missed a single bud.

She turned back in astonishment as Joey regarded the German with a look almost verging upon a mixture of disgust and triumph.

He gave a nod of thanks, "Thank you for letting me shoot." He paused, his eyes lingering upon the rifle as he handed it back to the man, "I like your gun."

Lichtenstein stared at him a moment in disbelief before taking his gun and nodding as if he were lost for words.

Ella suddenly came back to herself and realized she did not want to be seen. She got up and hurriedly made her way back to Maria's.