William Lennox had an impressive list of grievances about his current situation on a mental list that never went far from the forefront of his processors. On his snarkier days, said list was a source of endless, biting comments – to himself or whomever happened to be around – but on his more level-headed days, saner thoughts prevailed and he honestly tried to find answers instead. Rarely successfully – mainly because a lot of the explanations he got went over his head, despite the best of Ratchet and the Seeker's efforts – but at least he tried.

Right now, William Lennox found himself desperately wishing he had tried just a bit harder to make those mostly-alien explanations make sense. Maggie with her tech-brain and everything or Sam with whatever left-over Allspark was still in the kid's head might have made sense of it – probably could have made sense of it, because Will didn't honestly think it was that complicated if you understood that unique way of explaining things they had – but Will wasn't Sam or Maggie, and Will's university degree had not been in alien geek-talk or top ten ways to please a Seeker, and for all that he had honestly tried and the Seeker had done its best to explain it, too, his understanding of a lot of it was superficial at best.

Granted, some days he suspected that the same was true for Ironhide (and even Ratchet on one or two occasions, even if that was not a thought he wanted to linger on) but that didn't change the fact that Will was well on his way up slag-creek with neither paddle nor boat.

Looking at Ratchet as they stepped inside the command centre, he didn't seem to be alone in that situation. The medic had blocked any sort of connection they had which kept Will from taking his cues from that corner, but his body-language spoke quite clearly on its own. Another habit they had picked up from their human allies, since that body language hadn't been nearly as pronounced when they had first met, but it was another one that Will was grateful for. Him and the rest of NEST. It really did make life a lot easier when you had at least some basic idea of what mood the giant, armed, alien robots were in.

And he was babbling to himself, Will realised, and couldn't even blame himself for it. Not babbling meant pausing to actually think, not babbling meant paying actual attention to all the emotions from the Seeker that he had so desperately tried to block out, and the longer he could keep that from happening, the better.

Welcome to the State of Denial, population: you.

Talking to himself wasn't exactly an overwhelming support of his mental stability but as far as Will was concerned, his lack of common sense, sanity, and anything else that might possibly be associated with desirable qualities in a commanding officer had become abundantly clear when he had actually agreed to lead NEST. And it had been a genuine offer, too, not just an order, and Will understood that reasoning just fine, then as well as now. You didn't want someone with NEST who wasn't there of their own, free will. You didn't want someone who had the least bit of doubt in the whole operation because Primus and anyone else who might be watching knew fragging well that they got plenty of chances to doubt the sanity of it all when they engaged in combat with the 'Cons. A little mental flexibility was a good thing and Will knew perfectly well that he had more than just a little of that. He also knew just as well that this fact was made abundantly clear in the several evaluations he had been put through before he had been given that offer and they had given him the job, anyway.

Whether that said more about his state of mind or theirs, Will wasn't sure, but he figured it gave him at least a bit of leeway when it came to possessing a somewhat flexible view of the world.

Ironhide had undoubtedly been treated to the whole mental rant thanks to Will's utter lack of ability to block him under anything but the most optimal conditions but his only response was to shift his grip on Will's arm slightly in a small, reassuring gesture, and Will felt himself relax before he was even aware of it.

Ironhide still didn't let go completely and even if Will was never, ever going to admit it out loud, he was grateful for that, too. It would have annoyed him as a human, the feeling that he was some wayward brat to keep an eye on before he did anything impossibly stupid, but now the gesture was reassuring more than anything. Maybe it was their spark-merge, maybe it was the bond, maybe it was just because he was a Seeker and they had issues, but his spark craved the proximity with a strength that was more than a bit unsettling. It wasn't that much of a problem when they were outside physical range of each other although still within easy reach, but physical touch just seemed to remind every little bit of his processors and every sensor node in his body just how right it was and how unnatural it would feel to be separated from that contact again.

That said, Ironhide looked about as lost as Will felt. He had dragged him off to the hangar with all the commanding presence of the mech he was but it seemed that had been the extent of his planning. He was watching the ordered chaos around them with the same hesitance as Will felt and only when Optimus Prime's optics locked on them from where he was standing near Ratchet did Ironhide react and half led, half dragged Will across the hangar floor towards them.

Blue optics glanced at Will in a silent question, from their Prime and Ironhide both, and Will was rather proud that there was barely any hesitance in his responding nod.

Go, he offered silently and meant it. I'll be fine.

Ironhide didn't look entirely convinced and levelled a long look first at Will, then at Ratchet, and then he nodded briefly and let go, the brush of dark fingers against his wing a silent, almost imperceptible nudge towards the medic.

Keep the nutballs together? Will suggested through their bond, only partially joking.

Keep both of you stable, hopefully, Ironhide sent back. I caught the echoes of it, Lennox, but I'm not a bird-brain. I don't get it like you and Ratchet do. None of us do and frankly, right now you feel more stable than Ratchet does.

Looking at the medic, Will could have made a comment about how that was really not saying much but he kept his mouth shut, both the physical and mental one, and just nodded instead and followed without further argument as Ironhide nudged him again. The sudden loss of a physical connection was more unpleasant than Will would have expected but he could deal with that. With everything else that had happened, keeping a teenage bird-brain demanding nookie happy and sated was pretty far down on the to-do list.

The barely-suppressed emotions from the Seeker were still there and while it probably wasn't the time or place for it, Will doubted that any time or place would be right. Here and now, at least, he'd have Ratchet to whack him on the head if he did something stupid, unstable medic or not. The Seeker respected him and Primus knew Will did, too.

He knew it would be a flood of impressions the moment he let go, so he tried to adjust it a little and only loosen the reins just enough to let the first suppressed emotions through.

Fear at first, bone-deep and terrifying, but Will knew that was more himself than the bird-brain and the Seeker added its silent agreement now that it was finally able to again. The Air Commander could be as terrifying and imposing as a vengeful god but the Seeker-part knew just as well that as long as Starscream still considered them his youngling, that wouldn't be a genuine concern. He could get angry, most definitely, but never to a degree where it would warrant that level of abject fear. That would come much later and would be followed by words like 'traitor' and 'Autoscum'.

Respect followed, respect-awe-submission, and even if Will never, ever wanted to admit it, he could understand that. The fragger might be a 'Con and a killer and a pain in the aft, but he was damn skilled, damn powerful, and damn good at what he did and Will could respect that. They'd been up against the 'Cons often enough to know what the things were capable of. He did his best to ignore the echo of awe-submission – it wasn't something he wanted to know, really wasn't something he wanted to think about, much less deal with, and it could damn well wait for now. It would have to.

Lust came after that, just as bone-deep and just as terrifying to Will as fear had been because this wasn't 'Hide or Ratchet or even Optimus – it was Starscream and the Seeker half left no doubt at all that whatever Will's issues with the 'Con might be, and however much they might claim Autobot loyalties, that raw lust would always remain, the bits of his coding that told him that a sparkling fathered by the Air Commander would be fast, clever, ruthless, and perfect. Everything a Seeker should be, strong and fierce and proud and a testament to the talents of its creators in sparking and raising it.

The way Ratchet's optics focused on him in a narrow-eyed look told Will beyond any doubt that it wasn't just Ironhide that got the fun of sharing every random Starscream-related thought that went through his vain, little head, but there was something more in the expression that Ratchet gave him.

Understanding, Will realised a moment later; Ratchet understood and for all that Will needed Ironhide's unwavering support, he needed that understanding just as much. No judgement of emotions or images or fantasies dug up by the Seeker at the sound of Starscream's voice, just silent understanding and the knowledge that whatever Will was going through, Ratchet had probably felt more than a bit of that same effect on his own body as well.

You left them, Will finally said, more a statement than a question and carefully shielded from Ironhide because the mech did not need to know and there were things that even Will wasn't going to admit out loud.

Ratchet's optics dimmed slightly and a whisper of tiredness-worry-regret followed through their bond, on purpose or simply too much to keep in.

I did.

Lots of things Will could have said to that but in the end he settled for the only question that really mattered in the sort of situation he was in.

How?

The medic glanced at the rest of the room, revealed Ironhide deep in conversation with their Prime and Arcee even if he did send Will and Ratchet an occasional look to ensure they were still in one piece, and then his frame slumped slightly as if the last bit of strength had just left him.

Youthful stupidity? Fear? Survival instincts? the medic offered tiredly. I was never what the 'Cons looked for in a medic. I doubt I could have adapted very well, either. Their breed was kin but by then it was obvious what side they would join with. I missed them, didn't stop for a long time, but at least I was still online to do so. They were kin, yes, but when faced with the choice of treason and abandonment or eventual offlining... then, as now, I was in very little hurry to rejoin the Matrix. Which, admittedly, is not an explanation that will help much in your situation... a pause as Ratchet hesitated. ... and admittedly, I was never exposed to the full strength of Starscream's influence in my time there, either.

Never been exposed to the full force of Starscream's ego before, Will's mind translated, which meant that they were both groping around in the dark and had pretty much frag-all in the way of something to fight back with. He had wondered more than once about Ratchet's statement that he would be unable to shoot the fragger, had wondered more than once if it hadn't been an exaggeration or a statement made without taking the human side into account but looking back, even the happy State of Denial was not enough to hide the fact that if anything, Ratchet's verdict had been conservative.

Some of those thoughts must have leaked through as well, to both of the mechs he had bonded with, because Ironhide gave him a sharp look and Ratchet just looked... resigned. Tired, resigned, and every day of his Primus knew how many years of existence.

"It felt stronger than it used to be," the medic finally said out loud, enough to draw the attention from the people surrounding them and make their Prime aim a serious look at him.

"Ratchet?" Something about the medic's expression was enough to draw Prime back at their side, Ironhide and Arcee following close behind and frag it all, but his Seeker part should not be so disgusting happy just to have its spark-merge mate close again.

Then Ironhide touched his arm and his world narrowed down to nothing but the feel of metal on metal, scarred fingers against the smooth perfection of his own armour as his Seeker desperately clung to the one thing in its world that made sense and Will couldn't even blame it. Starscream had been bad enough when they could mouth off to him. With the realisation that physical proximity was the only thing needed for said Air Commander to simply overwhelm them and take control of them by sheer force was... unpleasant in the least, and both of them knew damn well that only Ironhide's presence and the combined stubbornness of both the human and the Seeker had kept them on the ground.

That was one thing he didn't think Starscream had been able to pick out of his processors, at least. It wasn't much of an advantage but still, that bit of humanity still counted, especially when Starscream didn't know it was there.

And then Ratchet was talking again and Will bit back a curse at the tunnel-vision that was apparently so very normal for a Seeker.

"I don't know if it's a matter of warped perception or the fact that I've never been the focus of his attention to that degree before, but it felt stronger than it used to be. I would say that I have never seen a Seeker react as strongly before as Will did but that could as easily be a result of never having been exposed to that presence before or Starscream making more of an effort than he might normally would have." A glance at Will, genuinely apology in his features before he continued. "A combination of both, most likely, but we can't rule out the possibility of Starscream being stronger than he once was."

Oh, lucky us.

Judging by Ironhide's snort, he picked up on that as well.

"So we take out the fragger before he gets the chance to try again. What was his range? Two hundred miles?"

"One hundred and ninety-seven," Arcee confirmed. "But it may be further. He may have deliberately waited until he was closer than he needed to be."

And didn't things just keep getting better? Will resisted the urge to groan, felt the Seeker stir in unease as well, and at least they were still working together. That was always something. He wasn't sure he could have handled a hostile Seeker half again and he never, ever wanted to find out. It had come close enough once. If he never felt that feeling of helplessness again, it would still be too soon.

"So that was why he showed up? To harass us?" Not that Will would be surprised if that was the sole reason. Seekers were pests and Starscream was the king of them, in every way that counted.

"Not solely for harassments sake but I have little doubt it was part of his reason." Optimus Prime, joining the conversation proper for the first time. "He has done it often enough before, when we still had Autobot Seekers among us in the past. In this case, however, he had a message to offer as well."

A message.

Anything Will could think of that Starscream would find important enough to deliver like that would be bad, bad news, and his optics shuttered once before he asked the question he knew there was no way around.

"Message?"

"Coordinates," their Prime responded evenly. "The time and location of their intended attack. The time frame is... generous. We would arrive with time to spare."

"A trap," Will said and ignored the whispered correction of 'an offer' from his Seeker half. A trap for the 'Bots, an offer for... him. It. Them. Come fly, claim your freedom, be with your proper kin-

"Undoubtedly," Optimus Prime agreed with the calmness that never seemed to waver. "Sometimes, unfortunately, the best course of action is to spring the trap."

Which leaves only the question of... a glance at Ratchet revealed that the medic clearly had the same thought as Will did and that he had probably reached the same conclusions.

"Jolt's training has progressed to an... acceptable level," Ratchet finally said and his voice sounded a lot more calm than Will suspected he was. "He is not a fully trained medic yet, but he has been trained to an acceptable level in combat-specific injuries."

Translation – Jolt was okay at the basic stuff but anything uncommon or too nasty and they'd be screwed and Ratchet knew it, too, and Will couldn't imagine what it must have cost a medic to make an offer like that.

"The offer is noted," Optimus Prime said almost gently and probably knew what was going through Ratchet's processors even better than the medic himself did. "If you deem it the best course of action to remain here, then I will not question it, but do not do it in the misguided belief that we have lost faith in you."

We know you, we trust you, we've seen you at your worst and we're still here, but damn it, it was different when other people's lives depended on you, and maybe it was his bond with Ratchet that gave the insights, maybe it was experience, maybe it was something he had picked up from Ironhide's long period of exposure to said medic, but in the end it didn't matter as much as the simple fact that he understood. Ratchet had offered understanding. The least Will could do was offer the same in return.

Ratchet was a lot more tactile than the rest of the 'Bots, that was one of the things that had made the human part of Will attracted to him, and he only hesitated for a moment before he carefully put a clawed hand on Ratchet's arm in a silent echo of Ironhide's gesture of support.

Familiar blue optics narrowed on him in a silent question that Will didn't need their bond to figure out and he tightened his grip slightly in what he hoped was a supportive gesture.

You stay, I stay.

A glance at the dark mech at Will's side, then back at the Seeker-human in a gesture that told perfectly well that Ratchet had some serious doubts about his sanity and Will couldn't blame him. He needed Ironhide to stay grounded; he knew it, Ratchet knew it, 'Hide knew it – hell, they all probably did – and right now, it didn't matter as much as the fact that he wasn't leaving Ratchet to deal with it alone. Starscream would probably follow Will himself rather than Ratchet but that didn't rule out the risk that one of the other flying fraggers might go after Ratchet instead... or that Starscream decided that Will was far enough under his influence to spare going after a stray medic, too. Pros and cons to every option they had but maybe they stood some chance of telling Starscream to go frag himself together. Better odds, at least, than doing it alone. It wasn't like Ratchet could fly off the same way Will could but that didn't rule out messing around with his processors so much, it didn't matter anymore.

Besides, it was war and they needed an experienced medic around. Ratchet, Will knew, could no more stay behind than Will could have if there was any chance that his presence could save the life of a comrade-in-arms. Regrets could kill a man just as well as a weapon could and Ratchet knew that, too.

The Seeker murmured in the back of his mind, soundless whispers of support-faith-loyalty that carried through to both Ratchet and Ironhide as well as they were intended to, and then Ratchet finally nodded – faint, almost imperceptible, but a nod nonetheless.

"We will be a liability, Optimus. Both of us," the medic said. "If you can accept that, then my place has always been with you."

There was more to the words than just reassurances, the Seeker programming made that very clear to Will – almost an oath of fealty and possibly enough to at least slow Starscream's influence down a little when they met again – but the thought of echoing those words himself was gone almost as soon as it had appeared. It was different for a true Seeker, different for Will and the Seeker both. Mere words were for ground-pounders, not for the true children of Primus.

"William?" Optimus' voice – and that Pit-spawned tunnel-vision again – and Will nodded once.

"Where 'Hide goes, I go." Because I need him, because I trust him, because he keeps me grounded, but he didn't say that and didn't need to, either, because their Prime obviously understood.

"Then we prepare. Arcee, bring Commander Epps up to speed with the situation." He paused just long enough to look at Will and Ratchet, reassurance and unwavering confidence in them both in his optics, and then he nodded. "We depart in one hour. Autobots, roll out."