I got home late again. My pockets were full of change from my latest victim. He had just won at a pachinko parlor or something. Perhaps he robbed an old parking meter. Wherever he got it, I could spend it. Stupid coins were making it difficult to find the door keys. I was jingling. It wasn't fucking Christmas, and I sure as hell wasn't Santa.

I rolled my eyes. "Son of a bitch" I swore and kicked the door.

An arm reached toward the handle from behind me, unlocked the abused door in front of me, shoved me out of the way and rushed inside before I could blink. Jesus, was Mai crying?

It was strange to see her like this. Mai didn't cry. Mai was always happy. She was annoyingly positive, and nothing in the world could change that. In a sense, she was like Mikoto, but not a genuine way. Mikoto did things she enjoyed. Mai did things and pretended to enjoy it. It was a socially acceptable way to deal with crap.

Well, something must have broken her today. Did I enjoy this? Perhaps. Maybe I was a sadist who enjoyed the pain of others. Hey, if I had to suffer, why shouldn't everyone else?

She finished checking up on Mikoto, the food stock in the fridge and the temperature in the room. I just took off my socks and threw them on a pile of dirty laundry. We both looked at the bathroom door, talk about déjà vu. Mai rubbed away some tears and sighed. Would we fight for it today? She shook her head and walked in, but left the door somewhat open.

Ok, that was interesting. Open invitation meant she couldn't complain. I walked in to see her crying into the water. Fuck, did that mean I had to talk to her? Bull shit, I had my own issues. I stripped, walked over to the tub and plopped into the bathtub.

"You wanna talk?" I asked. What was I doing?

She shook her head, but started talking anyway. "I got into a fight with Yuuichi today."

I thought she got along with the ex. "About?"

"Stupid things," she said, "everything." Mai leaned back and placed a hand over her eyes.

"Uh huh," I replied. Did that mean my role as comforter was done? I was tempted to start slamming my head into the side of the bathtub. When did I start caring about Mai's personal life?

"It started when we first moved in together." She stared into the water. "We fought about everything. He would leave his clothes everywhere, or I would constantly mother him. I realized that I didn't know anything about him at all."

"That's what you get for jumping in too early." I said.

"I thought it would work, because he was my most important person." The water splashed around. "But love is a selfish thing. I wanted him to be perfect, but no one is perfect. In the end, both of us realized that even if we were in love, the person we loved was someone that didn't exist."

"Shit Mai." I slapped my hand to my face. "Don't fill me with that philosophy crap. You just didn't love him anymore right?"

"No, not that," she told me. "I loved Yuuichi, but not the real Yuuichi. The one I loved was the perfect guy who was romantic, affectionate and understanding. If he was imperfect, I wanted to change him. In the same way, he wanted to change me into his perfect girlfriend. We both realized that it wouldn't happen."

"So what," I said, "you're just not going to fall in love anymore?" I leaned over the side of the tub and rested my head on my arms.

"Of course not," she replied, "I just need to find someone whose flaws I can accept. Maybe I wouldn't like the shortcomings, but I wouldn't be so desperate to change them."

I smirked at her. "You want to change everyone."

"I know." She sighed in resignation.

Her issues with Tate must have weighed on her mind for quite a while. They acted so civil around each other, so none of us suspected anything. I suppose Shiho knew. She would know about anything involving Tate. People didn't usually notice, but Shiho watched the two closely. Only the other Himes knew about the depth of her feelings, and the pain of her loss. I was surprised when she didn't jump the newly single Tate when the break up became official; she probably possessed some pride too.

Mai and I just sat there for a long time after. Neither of us talked, nor did we really concentrate on bathing. Instead we just took comfort that as we were alone, and so was the rest of the world.

Mai immediately perked up the day after and acted as if nothing had happened. She suddenly announced plans for a picnic and insisted that the three of us eat together in a nice green park. The imposing concrete of the city was apparently intruding on her normally happy mood. So we went out to have a picnic that weekend.

Mikoto was ecstatic. Before the announcement she was playing with her toes on the bed in anticipation of her breakfast. After Mai spoke of her plans, Mikoto began bouncing on the bed with glee. She would have flipped off the wall if it weren't for Mai's stern glare that warned of consequences for staining the wall with footprints. Apparently in Mikoto's world, picnic was the equivalent of full day at an amusement park. Though, I wasn't sure if the girl had ever been to an amusement park.

The train was rather empty for that time of day. Luckily it meant that all of us could sit during the entire ride. Mai calmly looked out at the scenery. We wouldn't go out so far as to see the countryside, but many of the skyscrapers had their own beauty. I suppose it wouldn't really matter what she stared at, because it was apparent she didn't really look at anything out there.

There were a lot of people at the park we attended. Many of them were couples, which probably made Mai feel a little bad, but most were just normal families enjoying their time with each other. For some reason the air felt extremely heavy there, must have been the heat. I ignored it for Mai's sake. I owed her for sticking by me, and felt an obligation to accompany her.

Truthfully, I hadn't gotten over my mother's death. Three days before the hospital contacted me about burial plans. I didn't have any money, so they cremated her and sent me her ashes through the mail. She's still sitting on my nightstand in a sealed plastic bag carefully placed inside a cardboard box. I wasn't quite sure what to do with her. For now her ashes were sealed in the mailing box and placed in a corner of our room.

I decided to save up for a nice shrine that could properly honor her memory. Though, I have no idea how Mama would feel about having the jar funded with money I liberate from fucked up men. Maybe she would take some comfort in my little vengeance, maybe she'd disapprove. It didn't matter now, since she was gone.

I had to hand it to Mikoto, not once did she try to open the box to eat the contents. She apparently had an extreme respect for the dead. It was great news considering her lack of understanding for other social conventions.

There was a small artificial lake in the park. A few people sat near it, but most were scattered in other places. It was a nice reprieve from the usual congestion that came with city life. Mai chose a spot near the water where Mikoto could freely chase around birds or ducks.

She began unpacking the cloth and food. Once everything was set, we sat together watching Mikoto play around with someone's dog.

"Thank you for coming today," she told me.

"I can't turn down free meals." Homemade food is the best. Days of surviving off of premade market food made me appreciate Mai's love for cooking. I wondered when she would graduate from chef school.

"Yes well, I'm just glad you're with me, especially after that night." She grabbed a sandwich and passed to me. "Mikoto, it's time to eat." The cat-like girl paused in her game and came running towards us.

I smiled; maybe this was what a family was like.

Edit: 9/21/2010