*Amy's POV written by me*
Chapter Twenty-Three
Amy's POV
Entry 9,
Today was the worst.
At first it was the best. At first I woke to Karma again. I woke to Karma staring at me and petting me. I felt her soft thumb stroking my cheek. I woke to those soft honest eyes searching mine and hoping with all hope that whatever this is we can survive it and move on.
"How long have you been awake?" I asked.
"Not long enough," she said and I knew what that meant, I knew exactly what that meant. She didn't want to go and I didn't want her to either.
"Can't you just stay?" I asked. I felt helpless.
I knew it was cruel. It wasn't right to ask her to stay when she wanted to work to help her family. I suddenly felt like such an asshole right then. Why wasn't I helping her? Why had I run when I knew about all the things that she was dealing with? I was being such a shit friend.
The kiss obviously crossed a line but Karma was my entire fucking life and I seriously just left her.
I knew right then how messed up it was, how wrong I had been, how much better she actually deserved.
"I can't," she said. Despite meaning to she brought me back to that very last day when she swung in front of the van and made me face her. I suddenly got it, why she was so anxious and almost angry the night before. I didn't even discuss this with her, I just ran…
Sometimes I think I'm just like my dad…
Sometimes I hate myself…