I very much enjoyed all the reviews, thank you.
You have an Addiction ch. 11
"I fucking hate you," I grumbled at Mai.
She tilted her head and faked confusion. "Now that's unfair. I did agree to cover for you."
"I didn't say invite her to a picnic." I retorted.
"Well, you lied and I had to say something." She brought her hands to her hips and leaned over in a scolding position. Damn her mothering complex.
"Could've said no," I mumbled.
"Too late," she casually replied and walked off to take some orders.
I leaned back into the booth and placed my arm over my eyes. Fucking Asahara couldn't just leave me alone. It was hard to fight the urge to simply slap her in an effort to get her to see the truth. Unfortunately, she was the masochistic type.
It was eating away at my mind. Why did I have to get so worked up over some girl? This was annoying. I couldn't stand it anymore; I had to hurt something.
Without a second thought I walked downtown. It wasn't dark yet, but the alleys would be busy soon enough. I stood next to a trashcan while flipping my knife in the air. A few people passed by and stared at the blade constantly rotating out of my hand. They seemed to decide that I was a land mine and avoided approach.
The air felt heavy around me. I was stifled. My breath was shallow and staggered. I was craving something. No, I couldn't be craving. I wasn't addicted anymore. I faced my fears; I moved on!
A walk, that's what I needed. Some time in the park would bring me back. I looked back. What was the problem? I took out a guy last week. It was different though. Last week I just wanted money. I didn't need to do it. He just happened to look rich.
No, it wasn't different today. I could deal with my problems. Asahara was just an annoying pest who I could easily drive away. I was just being nice for Mai's sake. That's right; Mai was the only thing keeping me from being too violent.
Still, one pervert couldn't hurt.
--
Three hours later, I was twenty thousand yen richer, and a little beat up from taking out what seemed to be a kendo teacher. The disgusting man was feeling up an eight-year-old boy from one of his classes. I really had trouble holding back after hearing "Please stop Sensei".
I smirked at my latest accomplishment. Scissor beat paper, paper beat rock, rock beat scissor and knife beat bamboo sword. I really did a number on his family jewels. It was a good bet he wouldn't be able to use it for a while. The little boy ran off crying. I kind of hoped he would tell his parents, but few children talked about such things.
He wasn't my last target for the night. I kept thinking, "It wouldn't hurt to just do one more." So I kept going until I was exhausted. A long scratch trailed down my arm. Apparently some men were scratchers. I wasn't bothered since there was no blood, but it did look odd.
A chuckle passed through my lips as I opened the door. Mai was half asleep in my bed as I walked in the door. She got up when I turned on the lights.
"What are you doing in my bed?" I asked.
"Why are you home so late?" she responded.
"That's not an answer."
"My question first," she insisted.
I brushed her off. It had been a long day. The bathtub seemed enticing. I moved towards the door. She blocked my path. "What the hell Mai?"
"Answer my question."
I shook my head in refusal.
"You were out hunting again weren't you?" Her deep purple eyes reflected disappointment.
For some reason, I couldn't stand knowing I disappointed her. It was frustrating how the sudden feeling of shame and guilt rose in my chest. "It's none of your business." I said defensively. Fuck Mai and her feelings. I was still in control of my life, yet the feeling didn't go away.
She put her hands on my shoulders, looked straight into my eyes and said, "You can't just go back just because you're under a little stress."
"I'm not stressed."
She frowned. "Of course you are. You're nervous, and tired. There are bruises on your face and arms. You're falling back into the habit."
"Bullshit, I'm fine." My arms crossed in anger.
"Really," she asked, "How many men did you tie up tonight?"
I gulped, she was completely right, but I didn't want to admit it. I said nothing.
Exasperated, she strode towards me and wrapped her arms around me. I stiffened in shock and fear. It was awkward to be so close to someone. I wasn't in a generous mood either. "You can just talk to me. We're friends."
"A friend doesn't invite a stalker to a picnic." I yelled and pushed her away.
"But she does get you out of trouble by pretending to be your girlfriend." She huffed and turned away. "You know what, I'm done. Tomorrow we're telling her the truth."
Whatever, I didn't care anymore. If Mai didn't want to help me, I'd just solve the problem my own way. Maybe Natsuki wouldn't object to taking on a job from me. One way or another, I would make sure Asahara was out of my life.
--
Asahara easily picked up on my foul mood the next day. She opted to stay as quiet as possible until the cloud over me passed. It didn't, not for that day. After school I visited Natsuki to pick up on any extra jobs. She offered me a few extra ones she had laying around. Apparently she believed that I would find less time to do dangerous things if I spent all of it spying on people for other people. She did give me a nice camera with a really good lens.
After taking a few pictures of a couple entering a trashy motel, I decided to wander around the town for a little bit. My argument with Mai haunted my mind. Asahara left me alone after a little while. She seemed afraid of my current temperament, not that I could blame her. At the very least it gave me a little less to worry about that night. Instead, I debated whether or not to continue my activities from the previous night.
It was a hard decision, but I managed to hold back. Only for Mai would I ever do anything so considerate. Every time I walked toward a darkened corner, her frown flashed in my mind. A sensation of guilt would rise in my chest, and I would walk away.
I went to bed early, though I still heard her enter the room. She went through her nightly routine and went to bed. I couldn't sleep. It felt to hot in there. There was no circulation. My head hurt and I tossed around in my bed. I couldn't open the window; it was the end of winter and there was even a little bit of melting snow on the rooftops. It shouldn't have been this hot.
School the next day felt like hell. Everywhere I went, I felt stifled. There was something wrong with me. Maybe I was sick. I couldn't afford to be sick. The teachers droned like usual. They didn't care about having interested students. They just wanted the ones who could do well, and those students learned everything regardless of how boring a teacher was.
Asahara approached me again after school. She seemed to brighten at my presence and made it a point that she would not leave today. It was like she believed I was testing her faith.
"You fought with Tokiha-san?" she asked while we were walking towards the bus stop.
"It's none of your business." I didn't want to talk to her about it. We weren't friends, despite what she thought.
"What did you fight about?" She grabbed my hand when we entered a bus.
"Let go." I retracted my arm. "We didn't have a fight. Now go away." I ordered her.
She faced the ground, and pulled on leg back while tracing a line with her toe. "It was about me wasn't it?" Her voice sounded sad and maybe a little guilty. I could swear it was as if she didn't want me to break up with Mai.
"Not directly," I answered. I guessed there was no harm in actually telling her. "It's about my habit."
"Habit?" Asahara lifted her head to face me. A curious glint reflected in her eyes.
"Remember when we first met?" I looked over her head as I called forth the memory. She nodded to answer my question. "Well, back then I used to do that a lot."
She tilted her head in confusion. "You used to save people like me?"
"God, no," I scoffed. "I took out perverts and tied them up naked in the alleyways."
Asahara lowered her head in disappointment; guess I wasn't the saint she thought I was. It was fine. I didn't care what she thought. "Isn't it a good thing though?"
"It's dangerous. I was even shot once." I lifted up my left sleeve to show her the scar. She winced with sympathy pain. "Mai freaked out and begged me to stop, so I'm trying to control myself for her." A frown formed on my face. Technically, I was trying to stop for myself, but it wasn't true. I could have lived my entire life without stopping to think what I did was bad. Mai was the one who pointed it out. She was the one who wanted me to change. Was it for the better?
We got off the bus. It wasn't dark yet. She followed me while I wandered through the city. More than once, the girl tried to start up a conversation. I simply ignored her and thought about my problems. In the end, I got annoyed, gave her a thousand yen and told her to go home and let me think. She seemed to understand and told me to be careful.
I kicked a can on the ground and thought about Mai. Damn she made me feel terrible. I liked it when she smiled, but hated it when she frowned. When she was upset, so was I. Never in my life had I been so empathetic toward another human being. Part of what Asahara said was true, I did feel some obligation towards Mai. I owed Mai a lot. She tried to help me before I knew I had a problem. She stopped me from murder, spent the night with me and comforted me. Now she lied for me to get some nutcase off my ass.
A sigh escaped my lips. My surroundings had changed. This was no longer the dirty, cluttered downtown street I was wandering around. La Madeleine's "Open" sign glared brightly at me, and bells jingled as someone walked through the front door. It figured that I would end up here. Maybe my subconscious was telling me something.
Through the window I could see Mai rushing around to serve customers, always with a smile on her face. I didn't like that smile. It was a fake smile. There were creases of a hidden frown buried in that smile. She wasn't happy. I briefly wondered if she was just upset about me, or just hated her current life in general.
Mai saw me through the window, and ignored my presence. It was as if I didn't exist to her. Well, I expected that reaction; she was still angry at me. Everything I did seemed to make her angry. I couldn't recall the last time she was happy with me.
It bothered me that she didn't smile right. The thought that I caused her current unhappiness ate away at my heart. God, why the hell did this woman worm her way into my life? She was so annoying, controlling, complicated and emotional. I hated her, so why did I care?
Taking in a deep breath, I strolled through the doors and sat down in a booth. I felt nervous. Apologizing wasn't my strong suit.
Mai walked to the booth with a pen and notebook in hand. "What do you want?"
"I, uh," I said. The words weren't coming to my mind. I couldn't figure out what to say. All I had to do was say 'sorry', but somehow it just stuck on the tip of my tongue. "What's today's special?" Great, that was possibly the lamest line in history.
"Chicken Cordon Bleu," she blandly replied.
I nodded at that, and gestured to make it my order. She took it down with no complaints, and then moved on to serve other customers. I checked my cell phone. It was seven in the evening, there were a few good customers, but it looked like the night time rush was over. I had to apologize. I needed her to not hate me. I wanted her to not be disappointed in me. Over and over I chanted the words in my head.
I waited for her to come by again.
This time she approached with the platter in her hand. The breaded chicken looked really greasy and I really didn't want to eat it. Mai set it down with no trouble and balanced a few other plates on her other arm.
My fingers seized her hand before she could retract it. It was now or never, and I had finally worked up the nerve to say something. "Mai I'm sorry."
"Oh, that's nice," she said a little too calmly, and moved away.
Shit, she's given up. The one person I wanted to care had given up on me. My chest knotted painfully. I got up and grabbed her free arm. "Mai I really am sorry," I held my breath with anticipation. Please forgive me.
Her shoulders slumped as she sighed. She turned to me with her brows furrowed in anger. "You always apologize, but you never change."
"I'm trying to Mai." I was getting desperate. The dark feeling was stabbing into my heart.
"Trying isn't good enough." She retorted and glared back.
"I can't do it alone!" I just wanted her back. I would do anything to see her smile at me again.
She leaned towards me. "I already tried to help, and you threw it in my face. Forget it." Mai spun around and proceeded to deliver the remaining plates.
"What happened to being friends?" I yelled behind her. "Please Mai, I can't fight alone. I need you. I'll do anything." Please don't look at me like that anymore. "Please Mai," I begged.
She paused in her work after delivering the last plate and looked around. It seemed that the customers were immensely interested in our conversation as many of them were silently gesturing her to accept my apology. A sigh escaped her lips. "Fine, this is your last chance." She said as she placed a bill on a table. Everyone in the place clapped for us; it was embarrassing.
"Yes! Thank you," I screamed before grabbing her into a large bear hug. I managed to lift her off the ground and twirl her despite the cramped space. My face buried itself into her shoulder; I was ecstatic. Strange, I never noticed how nice she smelled before. A blush rose to my face as I set her down. It must have been the exertion of lifting her, or at least I wanted to believe so.
--
The day of the picnic came. Mikoto was bouncing off the wall in anticipation while Mai prepared the day's food. I offered to help, but she only let me place the food into containers. It wasn't my fault no one bothered to teach me how to cook.
The orphanage didn't let us go near the kitchen. They were mostly afraid that we would steal food, though their excuse was that they didn't want us to hurt ourselves with the knives. Luckily, I was already quite proficient at making shivs from other objects so never thought about breaking into the kitchen for their knives. Plus, kitchen knives were harder to hide.
We met up with Asahara by the train station. She grabbed my arm and dragged me into the car. Oddly, the girl never broke eye contact with Mai. It was as if she was testing us. Whatever she wanted, it seemed to bother Mai. The red head looked immensely annoyed at Asahara for grabbing me. Maybe Mai was just acting for me. She was still supposed to be my girlfriend.
Mikoto noticed the general discomfort between the three of us and latched on to Mai. It was generally her way of providing comfort for both Mai and herself. Asahara eyed the two of them skeptically. I could only smile and laugh. "Mikoto is a little," I paused in my sentence. What was the word I was looking for? "Odd" I finished. It was the best way to describe the feral girl.
"Ah," she said while nodding her head. Mikoto looked at her and heartily agreed with my statement, then laid face down on Mai's lap. It was a little infuriating how she could do so without any repercussions. By this time, Mai had become so used Mikoto's attention that she could ignore it without thinking, but I found it immensely discomforting. Wasn't Mai supposed to be mine today?
I gritted my teeth and turned my attention to the scenery. Mai decided that it was more interesting to talk to Asahara about various subjects that I wasn't interested in. Suddenly I came up as the subject of the conversation. I turned my head towards the two gossiping fanatics.
"So how long have you known Nao-sempai?" She quietly fidgeted in her seat. Of course this was uncomfortable. She was the third wheel; then again, the sleeping Mikoto was an unnecessary fourth. I guess we now had a very unstable wagon with oddly shaped wheels.
Mai thought about her answer for a bit. "Well, unofficially, I ran into her while chasing Mikoto down my first day at Fuuka Academy." She laughed happily.
Why didn't I remember this incident? It made me feel ashamed that I could not recall. The only thing I knew back then was how much I hated the world and everyone in it.
"What was she like?" Asahara leaned a little too closely to Mai as she anxiously waited for the answer.
Mai placed her right index finger on her chin and hummed. She answered, "Angry, rebellious, maybe little mischievous." The red head even smirked at the last word. I frowned; she didn't have to pick on me.
"Really?" Stars lit up in Asahara's eyes. I didn't want to know what she was imagining. Then she looked away from us and out the window. A blank expression appeared on her face. "Were you together then?"
"No," we both replied.
"I dated someone else through high school," Mai clarified, "we were acquaintances."
"Oh, what happened?" Brown eyes lit up with hope.
"It didn't work out." Mai sighed. She was probably thinking about Tate right now. He was her most precious person. I guess she couldn't forget, those feelings she had would always be with her.
Asahara was about to say something else, but the train pulled up to our station. I immediately got up and shoved everyone out the door to prevent the conversation from continuing. Thankfully, the topic changed as we exited the platform and entered the street. The park wasn't very far off. Maybe now we could enjoy a peaceful, but crowded picnic.
Mikoto immediately zoomed towards the lake. Apparently she remembered our last trip here and was excited at the idea of chasing around pond ducks again.
"Don't jump into the water!" shouted Mai. I chuckled at the idea. Last time, Mikoto decided to end our trip by catching a fish with her bare hands. She got soaked from head to toe. Without thinking, she began stripping in the middle of the park to get rid of her wet clothes. Mai freaked out. Thinking quickly, I grabbed the picnic cloth and ushered the spiky haired girl into the bathroom. She changed into the makeshift dress made from the cloth.
I slowly walked over to the place we were going to sit, and help Mai set up the area. Mikoto ran back to us and dragged Asahara to chase after the ducks. Her apparent goal was to actually catch one of the animals for food.
The lunch looked great. I looked at Mai and smiled. "Thanks for coming today."
She returned my smile. "I couldn't say no, not after you begged me."
I crossed my arms and huffed. "I never beg."
"Oh, so then you didn't need my help. I'll just call Asahara over and explain our real relationship to her." She mocked me, and faked an attempt to shout.
Of course I played along and tackled her. We wrestled each other on the grass, but I managed to pin her down. She laughed and struggled against my hold. I smirked in a devious manner.
The smile disappeared from her face. "No, don't even think about it."
"Fat chance," I yelled before lightly brushing my fingers over her belly.
She laughed uncontrollably at my tickle attack, and attempted to wriggle out of it. There wasn't any way she was going to get away from me. I was relentless. She managed to grab my arm and switch our positions. Damn, now I was at a disadvantage. A smirked played on her face. "Revenge is mine!" she shouted before beginning her counter attack.
"Ah!" I screamed, "No Mai, stop!"
Mikoto suddenly ran up to us in the middle of our fun. I was a little disappointed that it was over, but the cat girl's growling stomach indicated that it was time to eat or she would faint. Asahara jogged over to us slowly and panted. Mikoto must have really dragged her around. My young stalker plopped down onto the cloth, too exhausted to actually do anything.
"Have fun?" I asked her, but my eyes were glued to Mai. I studied her every movement as she served the food. Today was special, I could feel it, but couldn't figure out why. Why did I suddenly feel so content on the picnic? This wasn't the only time; I felt this way on the last picnic. What was wrong with me?
Mikoto began stuffing her mouth, with more food than I thought possible. She must have been hungry today. My stomach growled. Guess I was hungry too. Asahara sat up from her place, and began eating. Unfortunately, rather than constantly having food go into her mouth, she continually chatted with Mai about various subjects. I wished she would learn to shut up.
The lunch ended quickly. I looked at my watch, there was still time to do something else, but what else was there? Asahara's presence was bothering me, and my recent string of uncomfortable sensations weighed on my mind. I wanted to go home and sleep. Maybe my problems would disappear in the morning.
Mikoto looked too stuffed from the food to run around anymore, and Asahara had decided to take a nap. It seemed like a good idea, so I laid back to do the same. My head ended up landing in Mai's lap.
"Ugh you're head's too heavy," she humorously complained.
"No it isn't." I gently wriggled in her lap.
We shuffled around a bit so she could comfortably lie back as well. I ended up using her stomach as a pillow while she was on her back. We both looked up at the sky.
"The clouds look pretty today." She played with my hair. It was weird, but serene. All the pressure I felt from the last few days seem to evaporate into the air. All of my problems seemed so simple at the moment. There was no past, no future, just here and now on with Mai. It was strange.
The time to go home came too soon. I didn't want the day to end. We entered the train car at the platform. I looked one last time in the direction of the park longing for the calm peace that surrounded me there. My thoughts snapped back to reality. The only reason I came today was to convince Asahara Mai and I were in love. Thinking back, it was a retarded plan. It was obvious that I didn't feel a…
My mind began to process the day's events. I cared what Mai thought of me. I liked to see her smile. I felt possessive around her, and noticed how nice she smelled. Hell, I even noticed the bit of gloss she put on her lips today. Reality smacked me in the face.
Son of a bitch! I was in love with Mai.
--
A/N – This chapter was extremely hard to write. I did my best to keep Nao's characterization consistent, but let's admit it. If she was the exact same Nao from the anime, she would never fall for Mai.
Next chapter – "Denial is the next best thing", "The wooing of Mai", and "I don't do confessions".