In My Heart
By: TheFifthCharmedOne
Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon that belongs to Satoshi Tajiri, Game Freak, Nintendo, and TV Tokyo/Shogakukan Production Co. Ltd. I only own the idea and the plot. If any music shows up along the way, I don't own that either.
Chapter 12: Didn't You Know How Much I Loved You?
I remember the way you made love to me
Like I was all you'd ever need
Did you change your mind
Well I didn't change mine
Now here I am trying to make sense of it all
We were best friends now we don't even talk
You broke my heart
Ripped my world apart
Didn't you know how much I loved you
Didn't you know how much I loved you, baby
I gave you everything, every part of me
Didn't you feel it when I touched you
Didn't I rock you when I loved you, baby
Baby, tell me
Didn't you know how much I loved you
Didn't You Know How Much I Loved You?, Kellie Pickler
QUICK A/N: THIS CHAPTER IS BACK TO MISTY'S POINT OF VIEW AND HER HEARTBREAK OVER ASH AND DAWN. IT WILL BE A BIT OF A FILLER, BUT IT WON'T BE A WASTE OF TIME TO READ, I PROMISE!
~Charmed
-X-X-X-X-
Pichu cuddled next to me and tried to stop my tears. How could Ash do this to me? After everything we'd been through, everything we'd done, he just went and got a girlfriend? Just like that? Didn't I matter to him at all?
"Pichupichu….?" said Pichu, looking up at me worriedly. I tried to smile, but it probably looked more like a grimace.
"Sorry Pichu, I'm just really sad right now. Why don't you go play with Marill?"
"Pichu, Pi Chu Pichupichu!"
"I want you too. Please Pichu, I want to be alone."
"Pichu…" said Pichu dejectedly, ears drooping sadly as it walked away.
I felt bad for it, but Pichu was reminding me of Pikachu, which reminded me of Ash, which made me a combination of sick, sad, and furious. How could Ash just forget about me like that? Was Dawn that much better then me? Did it matter that we'd made love? Did she even know that? She probably didn't even get the concept of true love, the little slut…(1)
He had told me he loved me, he said he always would! Why did he lie to me like that? How could he?
I took my pillow and screamed into it. I screamed until my voice became hoarse and dry. I cried until I had nothing left to cry. I heard May come inside and she made a bee line right for the kitchen. She and Drew probably made up, so she's finally eating her dinner.
I guess it was partly my fault that we didn't talk, but he didn't have to do this to me! The babies kicked against my abdomen, making the reminder of what had happened between us all the more painful. My heart felt like it had been ripped out of my chest and stomped on by cleats.
"Misty?" May's voice echoed against my eardrums. I didn't respond. I couldn't. "Are you all right?"
"No." My voice was empty and bare, I almost didn't recognize it myself. "May, it hurts. It hurts so much." I can't even say it.
"What happened?" she walked in and sat down on my bed.
"Ash…he's…" I swallowed the bile in my throat. "…with Dawn. I saw a newspaper article with them kissing. That's what made me faint."
She gasped and put her two hands over her mouth.
"Oh Misty…" she whispered. The friendly tenderness in her voice made me cry even harder.
"How could he May? How…why…? I have so many questions, and no answers. Didn't he know how much I loved him? How much I still love him?"
May was quiet. I had a feeling she wasn't sure what to say. That was fine. I didn't want her to say anything.
-X-X-X-X-X-
That was a month ago. It's now early October, and I'm six months pregnant, which was 24 weeks gestation. The leaves are withering and dying from the trees. Caroline was driving me to my next appointment. I was getting pretty big, and my skin was itchy from the stretching of the pregnancy. The twins were kicking more frequently now, and I was starting to become anxious. Caroline said we were going to go baby shopping right after the appointment. She had kept her promise about not telling anyone; Norman and Max were still clueless. It was nice to have an adult, maternal voice with this other then my doctor.
"So far, the twins are perfectly healthy." she said after another ultrasound. A petite blond walked and gave my doctor a file. She smiled and opened the folder. "This is for you."
She gave me a picture, and I gasped.
The picture was black and white and a little fuzzy, but I could clearly make out two babies.
My two babies.
My twins.
Mew, that sounds weird, but right at the same time.
"Thank you." I managed to say before tears rolled down my face. Ash, if I didn't love you enough to lie about this, then you could see this too. Caroline and May hugged me as I cried happy tears. I was going to be a mother. I am a mother.
That thought alone made me almost forget my broken heart.
Almost.
-X-X-X-
We went to the baby store just outside of Petalburg, but to the south, not the north.
"Let's go to the cribs first." said May, and we walked over to the cribs section, which was right in the center of the store. They were all really cute, with blankets that had baby Pokémon of all types. The mobiles were all calming Pokémon, like Milotics and Dratinis. There were a bunch of different designs, and I didn't know which ones to pick. May helped me decide by reminding me that we shouldn't give the twins a blanket with just one type, because then they would be biased. As much as I love Water types, my babies may like other kinds of Pokémon, and I would be fine with that.
The wood of the cribs was a perfectly light and dark oak, perfect for the sky blue walls. I needed two cribs, so I wanted to make sure they were a good quality. Apparently these ones could change from infant cribs to toddler beds, to full size beds. It was perfect, and not a bad price.
With the cribs decided, we went for the changing tables. We were worrying about the furniture first, and then we would go to the clothes. Caroline insisted she would worry about clothes, and we could pick out the furniture. We made sure the colors were almost identical, and I almost had to laugh when I saw the padding of the display changing table had a Pikachu on it. The laugh came out as more of a wince.
Didn't he know how much he meant to me? Did he even care? I put my hand to my stomach and smiled lightly. Like I've said in the past, he might never know something like that, but at least I'll always have a piece of him with me.
So, we had the cribs and changing table ordered. Caroline thought we should get car seats that changed into carriers to save money and so when I took a ride with her, the babies would be safe and we wouldn't have to leave them home.
I saw this adorable double stroller (you know the kind, where it's two seats instead of one) and it was perfect. Buying a double stroller made more sense than two single strollers. We could take the strollers home but the cribs and changing table would have to be delivered.
We left the store feeling accomplished, as we had bought many of the necessities. Of course we would still need diapers and clothes, but we didn't want to get it all in one trip because then we would be bankrupt.
On the way back, Caroline was driving and she asked May,
"So May, did anything happen between you and Drew?" I looked over to see her face was a deep cherry red.
"Something did happen!" I said, happy for her despite how broken my heart was over Ash.
"We're dating….and we have been for almost a month." May said, smiling. She had been practically glowing of late, but I'd been too preoccupied to notice.
"Oh May I'm so happy for you!" Caroline squealed. "Just think! You're first real boyfriend!" she gushed. "Though there was that boy in kindergarten…"
"Mom!" May screeched indignantly. "I was five! Can we please let that go?"
"Oh all right," her mother said with a nostalgic smile. "You know once your father and brother find out, he's going to be in for an interrogation."
May's eyes widened in horror.
"They wouldn't!" she gasped.
"You know how protective they get," Caroline said helplessly, with a sneaky smile.
May begged her mother not to tell them until she was ready; until she warned Drew. Caroline promised her lips were sealed.
We got back to the apartment and Pichu jumped into my arms as soon as we got in the door. I swear, he's like a little puppy, even though he isn't anything like the Puppy Pokémon Growlithe.
Drew came for dinner that night, and I cooked. I had gotten much better at that since I'd traveled with Ash and Brock, seeing as my sister's couldn't cook anything without almost burning the house down. It's a really good thing we run a Water Pokemon Gym, otherwise they're lost without me there.
Thinking about them makes me slightly homesick. I've been gone for almost six and a half months. Do they miss me at all? Have they tried to contact me? It really makes me wonder how the Gym's doing, and if they're actually taking care of it like they should.
"Hey Misty," said Drew, snapping me from my reverie. "May said you got some of the baby furniture today. Need help putting it together?"
I smiled.
"Sure, that'd be great of you." I said. Then I realized who was missing. "Where's your sister Drew?"
"Oh, she went back to La Rousse. She said that she can't be gone too long, or there wouldn't be a house left when she got back." he chuckled. "That doesn't surprise me, knowing my brothers and sisters." He smiled and got a nostalgic look on his face. May watched him out of the corner of her eye.
-X-X-X-X-
The furniture came a few days later and Drew helped me put it together. The cribs were placed in the center of opposite walls, the window in the center shining on each of them at different times of the day.
At one point, May came in offered Drew and me something to eat or drink. While I declined, Drew took it the wrong way and kissed her. Her eyes widened and then fluttered closed. I looked out the window and tried not to think about Ash again. I'm never going to get over him if I can't get him out of my head.
Once the lovebirds were done with their makeout session, May left, slightly dazed, and Drew went back to putting the cribs together and even though I tried to help him, he told me I should slow down. I was six months along, and he didn't want me to get hurt.
Huffing angrily, I sat by the window and looked outside. Flying type Pokémon were gliding through the sky. Hoenn skies always were really pretty.
-X-X-X-X-
Drew left later that night, and May, Caroline and I were sitting in the living room. May was reading a coordinating magazine, and Caroline was working on something with her sewing basket. I was looking out the window, deep in thought.
"So, Misty, have you thought about baby names?" Caroline asked me. I looked at her, and then back at my stomach. Truly, I hadn't.
"No," I admitted. "I've been kind of preoccupied."
"Well you have three months yet, but now is a good time to consider it."
"I don't even know their genders yet," I reminded her.
"Then think of names for boys and girls." she replied. "May, what do you think?" May didn't reply, she was too engrossed in the article she was reading. "May!"
May snapped her head up to look at us. "Were you even paying attention?" her mother asked her sternly.
May darted her eyes back and forth and slowly shook her head. "We were talking about what the babies' names will be."
"Oh. Right. Sorry." she said, flushing in embarrassment.
After watching this exchange, I thought about it. In a little under three months, I was going to have twins. They could be a boy and a boy, and girl and a girl, or even a girl and a boy. That's three different possibilities, which leads me to wonder what their names will be. I hadn't thought about it at all, as I said to Caroline, but now seemed like a good time to start, seeing as no one was letting me do anything since I was pregnant. Everyone thought I was fragile and could be broken easily. Well, my heart could be, but only by a certain black-haired trainer with a thing for girls with blue hair…..
Jealousy spread through my system and all the angry thoughts I had been feeling a month before came rushing in like a dam had been released.
How could he do this to me? Did I really matter to him at all? I never thought Ash would be the kind of guy that sleeps with a girl and then moves on, and I still don't want to think that, but that's how it seems. I was starting to wonder if it had been a good idea to keep the pregnancy a secret from him. If he knew about the twins, then he never would have gone to the little whore.
Okay. Slow down Misty. Breathe. In and out. In and out. You're going off on a tangent here. Relax. I told myself to calm down, and took deep, soothing breaths. I have to think clearly if I'm going to consider my child's future.
"Caroline," I said, seeking her advice and also coming back to reality. "What do you think?"
She smiled at me and put down whatever she was making.
"I always liked simple names, like May and Max," she glanced at her daughter, who was smiling at the two of us, her magazine forgotten. "I named them May and Max because they were simple, and common, but not to the point where everyone you saw was named May and Max. And because it sounds best with our last name, Maple. Your last name is Waterflower, so come up with names that you like and that sound good with that."
"Does that really matter?" I asked. She nodded.
"Oh yes, because whatever you name them at birth will be their name for life. There are no take backs or second chances when it comes to naming your first child."
"I'll think about it." I told her after a few minutes.
-X-X-X-X-
Later that night, Pichu was asleep in his bed and I was staring at the ceiling, wondering what was going to happen next. Ash had already broken my heart so many times before I'd lost track, but getting a new girlfriend after what happened between us just takes the cake. Then I thought back to our last conversation.
"H-How've you been Mist?" he looked at me, and then quickly looked away.
"Fine, I guess," I said. Max had left the room to give us privacy, and right now I really wish he hadn't. I made a promise to myself that I intend to fully keep. I'm not going to tell him. I can't.
There was a weird silence, and I could tell we were both thinking about the same thing.
"Nothing's changed, right?" he said suddenly, and I snapped back to look at him.
"R-Right," I stammered pathetically.
"Misty, is there something wrong?" he asked, his brown eyes connecting with mine.
"No, nothing." I said.
"What are you doing in Hoenn?"
"I needed a break."
"Do you really think I believe you?"
"Uh…yes?"
"Come on Mist, tell me what's wrong."
"Nothing." He raised his eyebrows and I returned his stare in what I hope was a convincingly angry look.
"Fine, don't tell me." he said after a long staring match.
"I won't." I said firmly.
"I'll see you Mist." he said sadly, as though he was upset that I hadn't told him.
"See you Ash. Good luck in the Sinnoh League."
"Yeah, thanks." he sounded distracted, and his hat was covering his face.
I tried to find any kind of loophole in that conversation that told me he liked Dawn, but nothing caught my memory. But then again, Ash was never one to make things easy for me. Sighing, I stood up and walked over to the nursery.
Drew had put the cribs and changing tables together, and the double stroller was still in its box against the wall. I went over and ran my hand across the smooth wood that would one day be where my babies slept. I smiled faintly, putting my other hand on my stomach.
"You know, when I first met your daddy, I would have never guessed we'd come to this. I fished him out of a river, for the love of Mew! I had never dreamed we would be anything more then friends, and at first that was okay. But then it got too much to bear to see him with other girls, when the one who truly understood him, the one who truly loved him, despite all of his faults, was standing right in front of him. He was just too blind to see how much I loved him. How much I still love him."
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X
A/N: Sad, angsty chapter. I did say it would be focused on Misty's heartbreak, and I didn't fail at that. I fail at many other things, like math and going to bed early in the summer, but I don't fail at writing, at least I try not to think that I do. What do you think?
Let me know with a review!
~Charmed
P.S. I was going to try and update all three of my stories tonight, but time kind of got away from me so I only finished IMH and P&T is sort of half way there. From Now Until The End Of Time needs more work, but I'll try and update soon, I promise!