*again, blackindiaink is writing karma and i am writing amy*

CHAPTER 29

Amy

Reagan parked the van in a visiting lot and went in with me. She helped me read the time boards that had departure times and destinations. There were three different flights leaving to Austin tonight and one of them was on Southwest so I knew it would be cheap.

"You sure about this?" Reagan asked.

"Yeah," I said, the hair on the back of my neck stood up and I felt dizzy.

Reagan walked up to the Southwest terminal and bought me a seat. When she came back she handed me the ticket and stared at me for a second.

"What?" I asked, there was something in the way she stared.

"Part of me was rooting for this and part of me was kind of hoping this would fail," she confessed.

"Oh," I said, feeling a bit of bitter-sweetness in us. I somehow knew, no matter what, we'd always be friends.

"Make sure she treats you right," Reagan said.

"I will," I smiled, tears coming but choosing to dancing in my eyes rather than fall. "Thank you," I said, hugging her close.

When she left I walked to my gate and sat down. I had to wait a little while and it felt like torture.

Being up in the plane was even worse. There was no one around me but somehow that aided in my restlessness. I felt like the plane was just floating in the air without moving. It was dark but I couldn't sleep. Outside the sky looked strange and I watched light on the wing blink through the thick clouds. That was the only sign that we were moving at all, the lit clouds by the wing. I tried not to be scared but I knew if there was a time for me to die, a time that would really make my whole life amount to nothing, now would be it and a I feared my bad luck.

We finally landed and I knew where I was.

I called an uber and had it take me straight to Karma.

I got to her house and let myself in the back-gate. I wasn't sure where she'd be so I checked Felix's room first.

Sure enough, she was there.

Felix, surprisingly wasn't.

Karma was just lying there on his bed, looking small and lonely.

She'd left the window wide-open, as if she knew.

I moved my bag through the window and dropped it down to the floor as gently as possible. Then I pulled myself up and inside.

I could smell Karma everywhere around me. I didn't even have to get close for that. Felix's whole room smelled like her. I breathed it in and shut my eyes as I stood in that room.

This was home.

She was home.

Quietly, and with very little movement, I pulled my shoes off and then my sweater. Knowing instantly what I wanted to do, Pulled the cover back from Karma's back and slid in behind her on the bed, wrapping her up in my arms and hugging her tight. All I'd been wanting since she left again was to do this.

I felt her in my arms and I felt as she woke.

Karma

The bed moved or was it the covers. My brain said it was probably Felix but there was something different. The smell and the feeling. Arms closed around me and I was so wide awake.

"Amy?!"

I twisted in her arms and I saw her face framed by her hair in the low light. It really was her. I wasn't dreaming.

She smiled and was about to speak but I didn't let her. Kissing was better than talking. We had done enough talking. She opened to me and I just got closer, as close as possible.

This was real. She was home and I had her in my hands. If I had to give up everything else in the world to have this, I would. The comfort of having her with me was enough for me to live on.

She stopped the kiss but we stayed like that, close enough to keep on but taking each other in.

Amy

I couldn't help my emotions. By the moonlight coming in and bathing the room, Karma was more beautiful than she ever had been before. I felt my body shaking and I hoped she wouldn't notice or mention it. I wasn't cold at all, that wasn't it. I was overwhelmed by her. I felt her hands and arms touching me. I felt her eyes seeing me.

"Are you crying?" She asked.

I shook my head no, and it was an obvious lie but I smiled to let her know that in this moment, no matter what it seemed like, I was so fucking happy.

Her eyes searched me. She was worried.

I brought my hand to her cheek and pulling her in, kissing her now, really kissing her. Before I was timid. Before I wanted her to feel safe.

Now it was my turn and I need her to love me, I needed it too much.

She kissed me and my head spun. She was so aggressive, so hungry. I felt a soft whisper escape me. I felt my body shake with her hand at my cheek and her thumb wiping away my tears.

Karma

My poor Amy. It had been so long. She waited for this and suffered watching me with Liam and now I could finally show her and tell her.

"I'm so glad you're here." I kissed her again. This was my world come back. She was the needle on my compass. Without her I had no direction. I stretched my body against her like a cat looking for relief.

My hands slipped down and underneath her shirt and then up her back. I wanted her skin. "I love you," I whispered by her ear.

It took no time for her to relax into me, finding the rhythm. Nothing else had to happen tonight except this. It was new but not. I could touch her however without fear.

I reached up and pushed her arm from under her shirt. "Touch me," I said and she did. I lifted her shirt even more. "You should just take this off. I can keep you warm."

My shirt followed hers to the floor and she smiled at me, the tears having stopped. "Are you okay?"

Amy

"Not really," I confessed. I'd seen her with her shirt off so many times but for a while now I hadn't allowed myself to stare.

I pulled myself back into her and turned my face into her arm. I kissed her skin and closed my eyes once she was in my arms again. Everything she did was overwhelming. Just seeing her right now was intense and the touching was something else entirely.

I would've been happy to hold her all night but she was doing things and I couldn't be upset about that. Instead I felt nervous and scared. I'd been holding back for a so long it felt intense to do anything, even just look.

When she'd whispered, "I love you," right into my ear I felt my whole body shiver, it felt like I was on fire and yet still needing her to hold me and touch me and make me warmer even still, warm enough to combat all my dark fears. I felt myself wanting to disappear into her, to somehow become a part of her so I wouldn't have to feel this way all confused and scared.

When Karma kissed me I lost myself. When she slid her hands down my back and ran them back up, pulling me in, I felt like I was finally being touched for the first time ever. I felt my air leave me. I felt myself give up. It didn't matter that I'd been touched before. It didn't even matter that she'd probably touched me before with her hands like this at some point in our lives. Tonight was clearly different. Tonight was about us both knowing that this was something more.

She used her hand to pull my hand up her side.

I watched patiently as she closed her eyes and sighed into the touch, her body breathing and searching for more air. She was just as aware as I was, about everything, about touch, sound, our mixed scent on the air, how it seemed that all of a sudden this was very very hot and very very real.

I didn't know what to do or say, I shut my eyes and rest my forehead on hers, simply happy to just be with her again and just be home.

I needed to breathe.

Karma

It was too much and not enough. I couldn't think or breathe normally. My heart had taken off and I was pretty sure I was in danger of a heart attack. She stared at me, her eyes raking down from my face to my chest and my stomach. I swallowed and watched her eyes move like she was making me real.

"I've been thinking about this all day and I can't believe that you're here."

Our foreheads touched and we stayed like that for awhile but I wanted to do something I'd never done with her. Our touches had been innocent until now.

I nudged her with my hands, turning her onto her back and adjusted myself so that I was over her, looking down. When I imagined all of this it was her doing it to me but right now Amy needed this.

I tasted the skin of her neck and tested my tongue on the hard surface of her collarbone, loving the way my lips slid against the protuberance. She sighed and I kept going. I would only graze her breast with my hand and let it rest on her stomach. Going too far might be bad.

I switched to the other side, nibbling on her ear before I made my way down. I was pretty sure I would leave at least one or two marks but if she wore a t-shirt it would be fine.

I looked up and kissed her once on the lips, trying to gauge her reaction. Her body had been making small movements but for the most part the only difference was her breathing. I could tell it was affecting her but I had to make sure.

"Is this okay?"

Amy

I wanted to laugh. My heart was racing.

Karma was tasting me little by little. She was teasing me within an inch of my control. If she pressed any lighter on any one of the surfaces she had just touched I probably would've screamed. Instead I made small moans and held back with the noise about as much as I could.

I didn't fly home for this. I didn't fly home in an attempt to be taken over physically. All I wanted was to kiss her and hold her again.

What she wanted was more of me. I felt myself growing hot and thin. I felt my air becoming shallow and the air around us cocooning in warm sticky heat.

She had asked me a question but I couldn't find words. Given everything I couldn't answer. She so thoroughly had me trapped beneath her.

Instead of speaking I just shook my head, yes.

My tears were gone. There was too much happening and my body still shook.

She hadn't mentioned it or even noticed. Already my muscles were sore from the shaking and the trying to find stillness.

When she leaned down again and licked at my neck I couldn't take it, I had to whimper, I clutched at her head with one hand, holding her lips into my skin, letting my fingers get lost in her hair and tug only slightly as I let out a weak wounded cry.

"Karma," I cried, with barely enough air to do more than whisper. My eyes were shut tight in the overwhelming pleasure of her tongue at my pulse. Every little taste was too much and though it hurt, because I had been sure before now that this moment would never come, I loved it, I loved every bit.

Karma

My name sounded so different when she said it like that. She was asking me for something but I wasn't sure how to give it to her. So, I took my name as a yes to my question.

I pulled the covers up around us. She was shivering like she was cold but her skin was hot. I put my leg across her waist and sat there, looking at her, wondering how I had captured her heart when she was the beautiful one.

My hands settled on her stomach and I splayed my fingers out, moving them around and feeling how she shivered even more. How could I affect her like this? Wonder filled me up and my touch became more bold.

The edge of her bra was easy to lift up and I hooked two fingers underneath and ran the tips over her nipple. Her eyes opened and met mine. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from moaning.

This was so intense. Feeling it was everything but I didn't want to go much further. Not without talking about it. We weren't ready. At least, not mentally.

"Amy," I whispered.

I was in heaven when she looked at me and then she bit her lip. That sent a painful thrum down between my legs. Her heat made me want to lay down and sink into her but I couldn't see her if I did.

"I want you."

I needed to tell her that. I wanted her to see the way touching her made me feel. I hoped that it was clear how badly I wanted this ache inside to be released. She was the only one who could help me.

Amy

Just when I thought Karma couldn't possibly break me anymore. Just when I thought she couldn't possibly cause me to ache in any other way, here she was sitting on top of me and teasing me with every inch of her being. She was begging me in her own softness and her own heat.

I felt my shallow breath going in and out of me quickly. I felt my chest rising and falling, her fingers still resting teasingly just under my bra.

"I love you," I said, looking up at her, not knowing quite what to say.

I hadn't said it yet and I felt like an asshole.

She was doing so many things to me, both physical and emotional, and I still hadn't said it.

"Karma," I begged, feeling my pupils wide in my thirst and my need as I panted.

I felt her sitting over my sex and I felt how wet I was, how needy and weak. The pressure from her body was causing me to lose it. I wasn't even sure if she was aware.

Instinctively, as if to directly combat this pressure, I moved my hands to her thighs and squeezed.

Looking up at her, I watched as her eyes shot open wider and she gasped in surprise and pleasure, her mouth hanging open.

She hadn't been ready for me to touch her. Either that or she hadn't been expecting it. I slid my hands simultaneously up her thighs just a little bit more and I squeezed again, watching her eyes flare and then close and feeling as her hands moved up on my stomach as she suddenly needed to hold herself up or she would fall.

"What do you need?" I panted, watching her. She was too delicious like this. I didn't want to miss a damn thing. I felt a blast of strength all of a sudden and that had all to do with her being the one who was weak and feeling me for once.

Karma

She asked me what I needed. "You," I said. All of her. Her heart, body, soul they were too much and I didn't deserve them but I wanted them. To keep her always would be one of the happiest accomplishments of my life.

I thought of her hands on my thighs and what they were close to now. I kept one hand on her stomach and moved the other to hers, drawing her hand around and guiding it to the waistband of my pajama pants.

I left it there and waited to see what she would do. If she went north we probably weren't going to have sex but if she curled her fingers inside of my pants and touched me there I would die.

Either way I would be happy. If we didn't do it we wouldn't last too much longer though. I couldn't. Everything so far had blown my past experiences out of the water.

At no time had Liam ever touched and turned me into a mess of nerves. Amy just putting her hands on my thighs loosened my entire existence. She had the power to destroy me without much effort but this wasn't a decision I could make alone.

Not thirty seconds before I told her that I wanted her. She knew how much. She had to know now. I couldn't even keep myself under enough control to remain upright when she moved her hands.

I waited, feeling the soft swipe of her fingertips right above the fabric of my pants. Which way would she go? It took forever but finally she made a move.

Amy

I only had control and strength for a second before she surprised me again, taking my hand to the hem of her pants as if asking.

I stared up again and wondered what I should do. A huge part of me wanted to do anything she asked and then another part of me wanted to say no and stop and then another part of me wanted to surprise her and tease her until she begged me to stop. I wanted to do all the things at once. I wanted to be the giver and the teaser and the martyr. Being all three was impossible so I had to choose.

She looked down at me and waited patiently, her eyes curious. She was giving me control. She wanted to see what I wanted to do.

I took my other hand up to her waist, surprising her as I hooked a few fingers into her pants on either side of her waist quickly and pulled her forward into me so that she would be forced to fall down and lay flat on top of me. She had no time to catch herself and when her body hit mine, when her skin touched my skin, I gasped and felt all my air leave me again at once.

It felt too right to be beneath her like this. Once I gathered my strength I took a deep breath in and cupped my hand over the back of her head to rest on her hair, running the other hand from her bare shoulder all the way down her back until it rest at her waist and tugged down teasingly at the hem of her pj's.

I just wanted her to know, as ready as she thought she was, I could still surprise her and drive her a little bit mad. If she thought I'd be simple, like Liam, she was wrong.

She rest on my body and I felt my breath in her hair.

"You feel reeeeally good," I gulped, trying my best to find some calm.

Karma

It wasn't what I expected but it was still good. I lay on top of her, letting her do whatever she wanted to me. "You feel better," I teased. I knew she would hate that but love it at the same time.

That was the advantage of knowing her in every other way before now. I had a better idea than anyone else what she would like and what she wouldn't until it came to the physical.

I had no experience with her there beyond a few fevered kisses and wandering hands. Her breath teased my neck, making me squirm. I desperately wanted her to kiss me there.

Her tongue, her teeth, the thought of them on me. It caused me to turn my head like a request. She smelled good, like always. I didn't care what time it was or what I had to do tomorrow.

I wanted her to leave her mark on my skin, knowing that I was going to have to wear a bathing suit tomorrow. Everyone would see it and I didn't care. Her lips grazed my neck and her tongue peeked out to taste my skin but her teeth made me shake. "Harder," I gasped.

Amy

She was begging for me, desperate. I had been keenly aware of her wish for me to leave me a mark but I wanted her to ask.

I was even about to ask her myself when she gasped needly. That was all I needed to know it'd be okay. If she wanted a mark I'd leave one.

I pulled my mouth away to tease.

Her whimper made me smile as I laced my fingers in hers and leaned in to lick her neck at it's most sensitive spot and suck at her skin just there, putting more pressure then she'd need for a mark. I felt her entire body tense on top of mine. And I felt her hand press mine down into the bed with the strength of her resistance.

She let out a gasp and I knew exactly what she was feeling. My other hand rest at the small of her back. She moved her hand out of mine and took it to my neck as soon as I stopped tasting her. As soon as I let go of her skin her lips were on mine.

She kissed me hard, her tongue forcing mine to calm and be lazy. My eyes were closed because she was kissing me so hard.

It only took three kisses before I was weak again and lost for words and control.

I felt her kisses slow at this. I felt her hand at my neck feeling my sweat and my pulse as it pounded.

She turned her head and let her body rest on mine.

I gasped for air, unable to get it under control.

"Shit," I gasped. I had no idea it'd be like this. We still hadn't even done much of anything but I felt as if she was sexually torturing me long and slow.

Karma

"I know," I rasped.

As much as she felt I did too. It was like a continuous feedback loop of torture filled pleasure. We should stop and sleep but I didn't want to do that. I just got her back.

We were both so hot and sweaty now and I was completely wet through my underwear. My body was fried from all the input. The worry from before and the surprise of having her Amy here.

Her kisses and touch made me feel so alive but a natural decline had switched us over to some resting and cuddling state. There would be time for more. As long as she was here to stay.

I lifted my face from her neck and cleared my throat. "Are you staying?"

I pleaded with her silent but loud. I didn't just mean for the night. If she was going to leave again I wanted to know now so I could use the time wisely.

I knew if she said no that I would cry and I didn't want her to feel bad. She shouldn't. Coming all this way to see me was more than enough. This was why I loved her.

Amy

She relaxed into me. I could feel her calming even though she was still wanting me.

When she asked that question my heart dropped.

"Of course," I reassured, moving a hand to the back of her head and holding her lovingly. "I'm surprised I even left in the first place," I wanted to laugh but instead I just smiled.

She warm body felt sublime on top of mine. It was nothing like Reagan, though Reagan had been very very nice. Karma's body was one I already knew in a way so holding her like this familiar but 100 times better.

With Karma it was like holding the one person who could ever mean the world to me. That's exactly what was happening now. It was no wonder it felt that way. Karma had always been my girl.

"You're everything," I said.

I could hear her sigh a deep heavy sigh. I wondered, worriedly if she had been more into it tonight thinking I might leave again. I didn't want her to think that. I didn't want her to feel the need to prove things to me. Just like I didn't want her to rush with the physical unless she was feeling it and wanting it.

She was so quiet now though. It made me worried.

"You okay?" I asked, holding her safe.

Karma

She asked if I was okay. To begin to explain how much more than okay I was… it was impossible. I didn't even move. I was too comfortable just lying on her. Having my home back was sublime.

When she first showed up I was all crazy with want and need and now all the stress and tension was draining from me. I could relax for the first time since she left.

"Of course I am. I have you. Who needs a house and money when they've got Amy Raudenfeld," I finally answered.

I yawned and settled more into her, hoping that she wasn't uncomfortable in any way because I was absolutely going to fall asleep like this any minute.

Tomorrow would be interesting. I smiled when I thought of us together just as always but different. I wouldn't care what anyone thought. That was part of my past, always there to remind me of what was important.

"You're so comfortable," I muttered. "Best bed ever."

Amy

"I feel like hot mush," I sighed. Karma was against me, her skin on my skin. I wanted to keep kissing her but it felt good to just let her be on me. It felt good to know that this was what she wanted from me while I was gone. I wanted the same.

I let my fingers slowly run up and down her back on both of her sides. I felt her sigh into me and nearly hum. When I touched her she felt so alive.

It was such a dream, to be this way. I had to try to stop myself from thinking about how long I had wanted her to be with me just like this.

I let my eyes fall shut as I moved my hands up her back and hugged her into me real tight. I felt like no matter what we could never be close enough.

"I'm so glad I came home," I said, sliding my hand up into her hair and wishing her closer. I spoke for my own good and still for hers. I needed her to know that I wasn't doubting her anymore. We didn't need to do anything for me to believe her. I came back just to be with her again. That's all I ever wanted really, even before.

Karma

Perfection, this was it. "Whatever word is more than glad, that's what I am… ecstatic," I mumbled into her neck.

She hugged me closer and I smiled in the dark. My eyes drooped closed and my body went slack, sleep overcame my delight. There were no dreams I remember just happiness and comfort.

My phone alarm was what woke us. It blared, annoying and angry, into the morning. I slowly came to, reaching over to the nightstand to shut it up but I couldn't reach it and then I realized why.

I was in the exact same position as I was last night. On top of Amy, in her arms. I raised up a little so I could reach my phone and with bleary eyes I shut it off, knowing that I had to get up soon even though I wanted to just go back to sleep and stay there forever.

"Amy," I whispered, hoping that she wouldn't let me go back to sleep.