In My Heart
By: TheFifthCharmedOne
Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon that belongs to Satoshi Tajiri, Game Freak, Nintendo, and TV Tokyo/Shogakukan Production Co. Ltd. I only own the idea and the plot. If any music shows up along the way, I don't own that either.
Chapter 13: You Can't Break What Broke Apart
Won't be so easy
this time to hurt me
You can try
and this time now baby there are no tears left here to dry
If you think you can wound me like before
If you think you can do that anymore
Won't get too far no,
You can't break a broken heart
So try your best now baby try your best to break me
You can't break a broken heart
No damage you can do now
I'm immune to you now
You can't break what broke apart
There's nothing you can do to me no more
You can't break a broken heart
You Can't Break A Broken Heart, Kate Voegele
-X-X-X-X-
7 ½ months.
I have one month and a half to go before the twins are going to be born. It feels like the time has both flown by and crawled on. But so much has happened over the past few months that it almost doesn't matter. As hard as it was to deal with Ash breaking my heart like he did, I've learned to live with it.
If I ever see him again, which at this point I truly doubt, I won't talk to him because I've just crawled out of a black hole of pain that I never want to go back into again. I don't like to think about Ash that way, but if he's going to ignore everything we've been and everything we could be once the babies are born, then I'm going to ignore him as much as possible.
My mother raised the four of us perfectly well on her own, but that's mostly because our father was being a-insert curse word here-and didn't care that he had impregnated my mom four times.
But that's beside the point.
We went to the doctor again today, and she told me I was about 30 weeks along, and the babies would be born in the next six weeks. Twins are in the womb generally for about 36 weeks, and seeing as 7 months was 28 weeks, 7 ½ is 30 weeks.
The babies' room was really coming together. We'd gone out and gotten some newborn clothes for them as well as some other accessories. Though May, Drew and Caroline refused to let me help, I watched from the sidelines and told them where I wanted everything.
By the 32nd week, everything was together and the room was ready for its inhabitants to be born. We also bought two highchairs and a lot of formula for the bottles. My doctor told me breast feeding was the best option for about a year or so. I could choose to breastfeed longer if I wanted, but that might become a problem because the babies' teeth would begin to develop. In one word: ouch. The first six months were crucial for the antibiotics and natural immunities the babies' would need to build up. After six months I could slowly wean them off of it and give them a bottle or start feeding them baby food, but still throw a little breast milk in there to slowly get them used to eating other foods.
One night, while May was preparing for a particularly fancy date with Drew, I helped her get ready. She was really excited because they had been dating for almost a month now and they were still going strong. She was wearing a pretty red dress with a white jacket, seeing as it was winter now.
"Are you sure about this Misty?" May asked me while she was waiting for Drew to come over.
"I'll be fine May, I promise. If something goes wrong, I'll call and let you know." I assured her. I was wearing maternity pajama pants with red hearts on them with a huge pink shirt. Even though I can't stand the color, it's all that came in maternity clothes.
"All right, if you're sure," she said. There was a knock on the door then, and May went to answer it. She walked back up the stairs with Drew, who was dressed up as well.
"You two sure are dressing fancy," I commented.
"Yeah, I'm taking May to this great place I heard about, and it's a requirement to dress fancy." Drew replied. "Anyway, how are you Misty?"
"I'm fine, getting a little nervous now though, four weeks to go," I said, biting my lip.
"You'll be fine Misty," said Drew, smiling confidently. "You'll have us and May's mom to help you if you need it."
I smiled back.
"Thanks Drew, I needed that."
-X-X-X-
When Drew and May left, I walked to the kitchen and made myself a small snack. It was a little after seven, so I turned on the news while I ate.
"Our top story tonight, gym battler Ash Ketchum has been made the newest member of the Kanto Elite Four. After battling and defeating all four members of the Elite Four which consists of Lorelei, Bruno, Agatha, and Lance, who are all masters. He has been named the new champion and is well on his way to achieving his goal of becoming a master himself. With more on this story is Vanessa Walsh who is interviewing Mr. Ketchum as we speak. Vanessa?"
"Thanks Jim," she said, turning back to Ash. "Ash, you may be young but you've got potential. With more then twenty Pokémon to your name, you've done quite well for yourself. Care to tell the viewers at home what's next?"
My plate crashed against the floor, sending pieces of shattered glass everywhere. I wanted to look away but my eyes refused to listen to my brain.
"Well," Ash laughed. "Right now I just want to spend time with my Pokémon and my friends, especially the most important girl in my life."
"Oh, that sounds interesting, so tell us, who's this special girl?"
"Well her name is-"
I turned off the TV. I wasn't going to listen to him say Dawn's name. I refuse to let him break my heart again. I refuse to go back to that place.
Okay Misty, take a deep breath. Relax. Four weeks. Four weeks until you can see your babies' faces. Four weeks.
I knelt down and slowly picked up the pieces of the plate, mopping the mess from my dinner which now almost made me physically ill to think about. I looked at the pieces of the plate and they looked a lot like the pieces of my broken heart.
No. Don't think about that. I cleaned up my mess and went up to my room, falling on my bed and crying myself to sleep.
-X-X-X-
That was two weeks ago. I'm now in my thirty-fourth week of pregnancy and Ash is all over the news. He's now officially a member of the Kanto Elite Four, and I assume his relationship with Dawn is better then ever.
I think about him every day, every time I feel my babies' move. I wonder if he thinks about me too. If he still cares about me. I need to talk to someone, anyone. May can't help me, and I don't want to bother Caroline…there's only one thing for me to do.
-X-X-X-
I took a plane to Cerulean City. No, I didn't go back to the Gym. I haven't seen or talked to my sisters in almost nine months. But I can't think about that right now, I came here for a reason. May is going to kill me when she finds out that I left, but oh well.
Cerulean City National Cemetery. It's always cold here. It always has been. For as long as I can remember there's been an icy wind that always blows here. It doesn't help that it's early December. I went over to that one grave and felt the tears pricking behind my eyes.
ELEANORA ROSE SAMUELS
1970-1999
She will always be cherished and remembered.
I sat down in front of her grave and brushed the dirt away. It'd been almost twelve years since I had been here, but I felt like I didn't have a choice.
"Hey there Mom," I said slowly. "It's me, Misty. I know I haven't been here in a while, a-and I'm sorry, but I just needed to talk to someone. Someone who might understand. You see, when I was ten, I met this crazy boy named Ash Ketchum. I'd fished him from Sky River; you know that river you told me was great from catching Water Pokémon? Well I met him and he stole my bike, claiming to bring it back someday. He never got the chance because while he was trying to save his Pikachu, it electrocuted everything around it, including my poor bike. At first I was so mad I thought I was going to have a stroke. But then he was so concerned about Pikachu, and a little piece of my heart melted. So as soon as his Pikachu was better and he was traveling again, I followed him, claiming it was so he would repay me for my bike when I'd developed a small crush on him. The feelings only grew stronger as we traveled. At first it was rocky because we were almost always arguing, but somewhere along the way, I fell in love with that naïve little Pokémon Master wannabe. Then came the day when Daisy, Lily, and Violet forced me to stop traveling with Ash and come home to take care of the Gym. I didn't want to leave him or our friend Brock, but I didn't have a choice, because if the Gym was left unattended, it would be closed down, which I couldn't let happen. So, I went home. I became the Gym Leader after a slow beginning, and I learned to love it. I went to visit Ash a few times during his journeys but after the Sinnoh League was a particularly interesting visit. My feelings for him hadn't changed, and by the way he was acting, I felt like he had feelings for me too. We ended up making…well I don't want to call it a mistake because it wasn't. It felt right at the time. Anyway, we slept together and I got pregnant. I never wanted this to happen, I even considered abortion or adoption, but I couldn't bring myself to kill a baby that never had the chance to live, and I doubted whether I would be strong enough to give it up to someone else to raise. So I ran away to the Hoenn region. I lived with my friend May for a while and then we moved to an apartment together. She was the first person to know I was pregnant. I didn't tell Ash because I was too terrified of losing him. Then May's friend/rival/crush found out by accident, and they ended up getting together. I'm happy for them, really, I am, it's just…I don't know. I guess with only two weeks to go before the twins, yes, I'm having twins, are born it's all finally weighing on me. Making me realize the important things. I should come to visit you more often, and I should have told Ash the truth. But I just couldn't, because at the time, it seemed like the right thing to do. But now…now…I'm not sure. He has a girlfriend now, and it seems like he's completely forgotten about me. That the hurts most; the idea that he doesn't care. I don't want to think that way about him, but I don't have a choice. He's making it hard for me to see the good guy I know he is, and I hate it. I also can't stand the fact that no matter how much I've tried, I can't. stop. loving. him. It drives me crazy. It really does. I just…I don't know what to do anymore."
"Misty?"
I raised my head and turned. May and Drew stood there, Caroline close behind. I had left a note for May, and I guess they flew over here on Flygon. "You're crying. Come on, let's go home." She walked toward me and helped me up. Drew's Flygon couldn't handle four people's weight, so Caroline was taking my plane ticket back.
While Drew told Flygon where to go, May yelled at me for leaving, but I tuned her out. Going to talk to my mom about everything made me feel better. I don't know why, but it did.
So what if you can't break a broken heart? You can mend it.
Well, I can try, can't I?
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
A/N: So, with two weeks left to go on Misty's pregnancy, I have another poll for you guys!
Since she's having twins, a boy and a girl, I need a common vote for names.
Here's what I've thought of so far:
For the boy:
A) Jacob Ashton Waterflower (Jake)
B) Matthew James Waterflower (Matt)
For the girl:
A) Isabella Rose Waterflower (Bella)
B) Kimberly Rose Waterflower (Kim, Kimmy)
C) Alexandra Rose Waterflower (Alex, Lexi)
To give me any other suggestions or cast your vote:
Review!
~Charmed