*again: blackindiaink is writing for karma and I am writing for amy*

*haven't really edited AT ALL*

Chapter 32

Karma

Tasting myself on her fingers was interesting but not as good as her reaction. "I think you just killed me." My smile felt permanent like my feelings. I wrapped my arms around her and took in our smells mingling, arousal, Amy, me, and laundry detergent from the sheets.

"Seriously though, I can't move," I laughed. I was shaken. It was like the time I had pneumonia but way more euphoric. Right now I could not trust my brain. "I wanna do that again but ya know… later."

Right now I just wanted to touch her back but my limbs wouldn't obey. This was a game changer. Proof positive that I was head over heels. I probably had been for a long time. I just was too dense.

I opened my mouth to tell her that but someone pounded on the door. My eyes shot open wide. It had to be Lauren, right? "Help me," I urged, trying to get my bathing suit back up and the straps over my shoulders. Thank god one of us had the foresight to lock the door.

"Amy? Sweetie, Lauren told me you were home."

Amy

"Oh God," I muttered.

All of a sudden I realized where we were.

"Just a minute, Mom!" I called.

"Why's your door locked sweetie. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just changing!"

"Well, alright, I guess I'll wait for you downstairs muffin. When Lauren text me I left work right away and came home with donuts! Don't be a stranger, alright?! I wanna hear all about that trip of yours!"

"Okay Mom, sounds great!" My voice squeaked at this point and Karma laughed. I covered her mouth with my hand and gave her a deep warning stare that turned from serious to soft in the instant our eyes really met.

Footsteps sounded away from us down the hall while we stared.

"Sorry," I mouthed guiltily, pulling my hand away.

She took my hand back up to her mouth with both of her hands, shook her head to tell me not to be sorry, and then she kissed the center of my hand sweetly, closing her eyes to relish the taste and the feel.

My body unraveled a little when she used her tongue to trace small circles in the center of my palm. Then she licked my hand from the center of my palm to the edge as she let my hand drop down so that she could breathe. She seemed overwhelmed by everything but in a strange way, I'd never seen her like this before.

She still had her eyes closed and she sighed as if even breathing affected her. It was like moving was difficult now, for her. Every little move she made seemed to affect her just like my touches had done before. Her body was overly sensitive now to every little thing and I couldn't tell if she was trying to feel it or trying to shut it down.

I watched her sit carefully and nearly sway. A queer smile covered my face and I realized it was all because of what we had just done. I'd given her the kind of orgasm that sort of breaks you.

That was a delicious thought. My mother aside, I was hungry for her still, especially hungry to taste her like this.

I used a hand to pull her in and kiss her, cupping her neck with my hand and stealing her lips in my own, tasting a bit of her new secret taste that had been expertly laced on her tongue and her lips, a bit of her sex, sweet and poisonous as it was, I kissed her harder needing to drink her in. I felt how much I wanted her, felt how much I loved her in every way. I felt too much.

This was no drill.

My heart pounded and the need for air escaped me entirely as I kissed her within an inch of my life, needing her to fill me up still.

Karma

Amy kissed me like the world was about to end. I'm not sure that's how I can accurately describe it. I feel like my world easily could have ended if she hadn't come back. That's super dramatic but it's honesty. If she decided against being with me I'm not sure I would have been happy for a very long time.

She knew so long before I did and now we have a lot to make up for. The epiphany of my love turned my already upside down world another one hundred and eighty degrees. I'm sure I can't express it right but I want to shout it from every roof.

I love Amy Raudenfeld and I do mean like THAT. One step at a time. Farrah knew Amy was home but she didn't know I was here. It wouldn't surprise her like the locked door had. Where Amy went I went. I swallowed, still stuck in the kiss that had just ended.

"I guess we should get this over with."

I assumed we would tell her. She wouldn't be that surprised. She could be. Amy probably hadn't even told her about everything that happened between us. She knew some of it from just being there. I flushed when I thought of her seeing Liam jumping from Amy's balcony. At the time I'd thought I was more pissed because she had slept with Liam but I think it was because Liam slept with her.

She asked me if I was okay. I smiled. "Yeah, of course." I couldn't tell her what I was thinking about . Our reunion had gone so well, far beyond my expectations. "I guess we should go see your mom. You know before we start our official hang out night."

There wouldn't be much hanging out going on. I didn't care if Farrah was home. That's what pillows were for. I was pretty sure I could stay quiet enough. It felt so scandalous to think of it that way. Right under their noses and all. Every time I looked at her it was all I wanted to do though. Keeping my hands off of her while we were downstairs was going to be the challenge.

Amy

Karma seemed flustered. I couldn't blame her. I sort of attacked her. And then she sort of attacked me.

Given everything, she was probably as surprised with herself as I was.

But my mom was downstairs and we'd blown-off Lauren and this just wasn't the time for us to be doing… Well… THIS.

NOT THAT IT WAS BAD!

I got up off the bed and tugged Karma up to come too. She slid right into my body. Now that we were a couple we were reeeeeeeeeeeally a couple.

People had to notice.

But I was kind of hoping they wouldn't and we'd still look the same.

The last thing I'm interested in now is publicizing our relationship and using it as some Hester gossip tool or whatever you could call what had been doing before.

This wasn't fake. And this wasn't anyone else's business.

I took the few steps to the door, let go of Karma's hand and walked out to say hi to my mom.

Down the hall I didn't feel like a new person at all. But I did feel happy.

For once.

"Oh Amy!" I heard my mom exclaim as she pulled me in for a hug.

Karma was following close behind me and I could feel her just hovering in the room.

"And Karma? I didn't you were here sweetie. No wonder you were takin' your time in your room. You two probably had a lot to talk about," my mom was looking at Karma but still hugging me. I worried about what Karma might say.

"Just a little," I said, pulling away from my mom.

"Oh honey, let me look at you," she said, surveying my skin. "You're all tan and tall!" Mom always liked to flatter me. Eventhough she knew I couldn't take it. My cheeks flushed red.

I felt Karma come close and take my hand in hers.

"Her videos are pretty popular from the tour," Karma interjected.

"Are they now?" Farrah asked, looking down with a queer smile. She must've noticed Karma's hand on mine and Karma's body language. Honestly though, Karma and I were always sort of touching each other like this before.

"Yeah, they're okay," I said, taking my hand away from Karma and rubbing my arm. When I looked over to Karma she seemed a bit sad.

I felt myself internally groan.

"Well, why'd you come back so early then sweetie? Wasn't this supposed to be your SUMMER OF CHANGE?!" Mom quoted some bullshit I had enthusiastically said to get her to give me permission to go.

"I just… Realized it wasn't where I wanted to be," I said truthfully. I couldn't chance a look over at Karma at this point. There was no way I'd survive.

Karma

I shouldn't expect her to just tell her mom. We haven't even discussed this yet. It still hurt a little. Farrah was used to us being close so there was a good chance she wouldn't notice anything strange.

"And now we can spend all summer together. You know, when I'm not working."

I felt Amy sigh beside me. My chipper tone covered for the nervousness I felt. My tendency to panic was edging up on me. Amy might be in love with me but that didn't mean she wanted everyone to know we were together. If that even was the case.

"Anyway, it's nice to see you, Farrah," I ventured.

"Oh, you too Karma," Farrah said.

Her voice changed tone a little in that way that Southern women's voices do when they're not actually enthusiastic about something but are trying not to show it. Getting her to like me as much as she did when we were kids was impossible. Between my parents and how she related Amy's liking girls to me, I was doomed.

She would never see me as quite a suitable friend but Amy did like to break the rules of convention that Farrah held so dearly. She would never be the pageant entering, Southern belle that Farrah was when she was a teenager.

"So, we should get going. Lots of Netflix to catch up on," Amy enthused.

She was nervous as a cat as she pushed my hand off of her arm again. I frowned. This was going to bother me for the rest of the night. First she leaves me at the worst time in my life, understandably, and now she was being really weird about us.

Amy

"Karma's right mom, it was a long trip back. All I really want to do is hangout and have a normal day or two." I could tell that Karma was obviously peeved. But this was my mom. She deserved more than just a, HI HOW ARE YOU- OKAY BYE! This wasn't Lauren we were dealing with. My mom always made time for me, always.

"Oh, alright," she said. But I could see that she was depressed at the thought of me just leaving the conversation there so I walked around to her and hugged her side.

"I'm kidding, mom," I said, taking a donut from the box and biting it happily. "Sit! I've been dying to tell you about this one place we played. Has Lauren shown you any of my videos?"

Karma sat down reluctantly and I tried not to be depressed at the sight of her noticing how I skirted the truth about us, even if just for the sake of things feeling normal again. All I want is for things to feel normal. How can she not get that?!

My mom was so happy. She did that thing where she started laughing too much and smiling so much her face hurt. The more I talked the more she loved me and I could tell.

Her phone rang after we talked for at least a half hour.

Karma was listening to my stories but I wasn't sure if she was even interested and that actually really hurt. I wanted to know everything about her life while I was away but I was a little scared to ask. And here I was telling all my stories, the more I spoke the more down Karma seemed.

At one point while my mom was watching one of my videos I picked Karma's favorite donut from the bunch and walked it over to her. I snuck up sweetly behind her and handed it to her over her shoulder, hugging her up tight around her collarbone and the top of the chair. I leaned in sweet so I could whisper.

"I'm sorry, okay? It's just not the right time."

She seemed to cheer up after that but I couldn't be sure how horrible I'd fucked up, not really.

Lauren came out of her room halfway through our on-and-off laughter and banter.

It was a Raudenfeld-Cooper affair, I sat close to Karma and held her thigh under the table, hanging my other arm over her chair and feeling her alert tenderness.

My favorite part was when Karma actually started to talk a little. she made jokes about me and Lauren and my mom both laughed and looked at her lovingly. I could take them laughing at me if it meant they'd like her more.

It was the perfect day, really, the perfect day.

Karma

The gesture made me feel less freaked. Anxiety got the better of my faith in Amy. I just needed to hear her say something. I thought it was impossible not to be happy with Amy home but I was a little sad now.

Fear crept in on me. All the reasons I was afraid of this relationship never went away. I just knew that this had probably been my last chance. If I hadn't gone after Amy when I did, I don't think she would have let me in like this ever. Still, when I was scared or unhappy with exactly how things were going and I didn't want to freak Amy out there weren't many people I could go to with it. Amy had always been my best friend and now I couldn't go to her with certain things.

That was scary. Normally, I'd just pull her aside and ask her what she thought but now there was a lot more riding on those conversations. If I wanted this with her and I so much more than did, I would have to suck it up.

We joked around a little with Farrah and Lauren. I don't think they'll ever think I'm great for Amy but at least they seemed to like me a little more. After dinner we went up to her room and as soon as she closed the door I pinned her against it.

"I just kept thinking about this the whole time," I whispered.

She gave me this glazed, half-drunk look right before I kissed her. I loved that feeling of intoxicating her. It wasn't just physical I could feel her mind giving into it. We are each other's addiction.

Amy

The last thing I expected after that talk with my mom was for Karma to want to touch me again.

"Yeah?" I asked, needing to know it was true and not some trick.

When she kissed me I felt taken by her. It seemed she was so good at that, taking me away.

I wanted to kiss her to, the whole time, but my mind was racing with insecurities somehow. I thought I'd hurt her. I thought I'd torn her up with my insistence that we wait to tell our truth.

I dunno, it felt somehow necessary to me, waiting. I didn't want anyone else in on this, on us, not this time.

Karma pinned me to the door and kissed me. I felt her hand at my neck and her other on my hip bone teasing me her thumb dragging and pushing down onto it.

I suddenly remembered how we were just an hour before. I remembered being inside of her. I remembered her body as it shook.

I was most definitely in trouble.