Joey's chance of escape soon presented itself. He had been careful to leave enough time after Kutli's death to make sure that he would not be suspected. He had been ordered to live with another family and did not find it hard to act distracted and somber around them; he slowly became aware that it was an any easy task because his own emotions were deadened and numb deep within him. He found he liked this, to know he had such control over himself. Some of the villagers began to call him by a new name, 'Little Mask', due to his seeming lack of feelings and the fact that his expression changed very little whether he should be joyful or unhappy.
The spring brought with it new problems, the Texans had become angered by the constant raids. Even if the Apache were only avenging what the Texans had done to their people, the white man had the power to say who was in the right and who was not and the Apache were never in the right…
The people who would normally have traded happily with them began to turn them away, food became less abundant and certain foodstuffs were lacking altogether, their bowls less laden with meat and the village had to send out more hunters in search of nourishment. Joey was always one of those sent out, his aim with a rifle always assured some animal was brought back.
If was upon one of these hunting trips that Joey made his break, he had it all planned in his mind, had been turning it over in his thoughts for many weeks. He would ride a little away from the main party telling them he had seen an antelope in the long grasses. While they still searched for other prey he would spur his horse onwards for a few miles before abandoning it and continuing upon foot, horse tracks would be too easy to follow and he knew well how to hide himself from unwanted eyes.
The plan went well without anything going off the course he had set. They allowed him to go after the antelope he said he had seen and once he was out of view he kicked hard into his horse's sides and rode at a gallop for a good few miles. The wind blew through his hair, making him feel the grasp of freedom teasing his skin and mind with its beckoning, but he would not let himself give in to that pleasurable feeling yet, not until he was sure he had gotten away.
After riding for a while he dismounted and took a saddle bag and blanket down from the horse. He turned the animal around to face the direction he had just come and gave it a hard slap upon the flank, the horse started easily and began to hurry away at a quick trot. Joey knew that the men he had been hunting with would now be looking for him, perhaps the horse would confuse the tracks he had made and make the task of tracking more difficult for his pursuers, giving him a little extra time. He shouldered his rifle and began to walk, keeping from the path and being careful to cover any heavy tracks, confusing those he could not. He lost any awareness of time as he trudged onwards, glad of his hat's cover against the hot sun, he supposed it had been a good few hours since he had left his horse and he was soon proven to be correct as the sun began to descend in the sky, turning the clouds a blazing orange hue. As the chill of night came upon him he wrapped the blanket about himself, he would walk a little further before he rested, perhaps he could find shelter and somewhere to make a small fire, until he did he could not stop for fear of giving himself away.
He was in luck and came upon a small cave that was shallow but hidden enough so that he could make a fire. Once it was lit and the flames brought a dim glow about him, his heart lifted a little. He ate a small meal of bread and dried meat before settling down upon the rough floor, he did not find sleep easily, his ears pricking at every sound, thinking the Apache would loom out of the shadows and drag him back once more… but finally he did fall into a fitful slumber.
He awoke the next morning and carried on in much the same way as the day before, his plan was to find the nearest town and acquire directions back to his own village, he could no longer remember what way it lay in, but his spirits were not dampened.
The shadows grew long upon the ground before he heard the first sound of danger. He could easily tell the animals that approached were Apache ponies and his trackers had caught up to him, although he knew it was only through luck that they had chanced along his path. He quickly hid in large underbrush and waited patiently. He cursed himself as his heart began to drum a little faster within his chest, he hated fearing these men…
They scanned the surroundings about them as they sat in their saddles, they spoke hurriedly in their own tongue, Joey only caught snatches of the conversation. One of them was asking if it would be wise to turn back, after all the Mexican boy was not their concern. Another argued back that Joey was the best shot they had… after a moment of bickering they decided to continue on until the sun set - if they had not found him by then they would turn back for the village and ask the elders what was to be done.
They urged their mounts onwards and Joey felt a small feeling of release as his muscles relaxed from their tensed positions. If he could evade their eyes until night fall he would finally be free. He looked up at the sky, he still had a few hours to go until then and he could not stay where he was. He listened intently for a moment and when he was satisfied that he was alone, he stood up and began on his way again, this time taking a slightly different direction to the riders.
He came across no other troubles and within the next two hours a small town was in sight. He smiled smugly at it, he had made it… he truly was now free. Joey strolled casually into the town, from the look of it, it was no more than a small boom town, the houses were crudely constructed, the timbers not meant to last and the occupants were grubby and desperate looking. He looked on as a man haggled with a whore who stood upon a balcony above his head; she laughed sweetly using all her charms to get him to part with more money than he wished to pay. As Joey passed by, the girl glanced at him and gave him a flutter of a wink.
Joey's eyes located the general store and he quickly headed for it without pausing. He pushed open the door and it gave a soft clang as a bell sounded announcing his arrival. It was empty of customers but a small, bony looking man soon made his way out from a back room to the counter, he stared at Joey through his round spectacles for a moment before he spoke.
"Can I help you son?" he asked, his tone was as if he spoke to a child.
Joey cast a cool glance over him, "Si, I would like to know how to get to Ojinaga."
"Ojinaga?" The man scratched his head. "Well you're just about to hit the border back into Mexico, I guess it's a day or two ride, in a south direction, you keep on going that way you'll hit it" he said, his eyes taking in the young boy and not liking what he saw.
"I need new clothes" Joey said simply, "I have money."
"If you have money you can buy, I think I can find you a shirt, jacket, some britches and boots, they might be a little on the large side."
"I do not care" Joey said, indicating with a nod of his head that the man should get what he had asked.
It was not long before Joey was discarding the hated clothing of the Apache and dressing himself in brand new, crisp material in a style that brought back fond memories of before he had been sold. The britches and boots were a little loose but this did not matter, he knew he would soon grow into them.
He handed over the amount of money the man asked for; the currency had been funded by his trip to the trading post with Kutli. He looked over his new outfit in a mirror and nodded.
"This is much better," he mumbled, "you can keep the other clothing, I do not want it."
The man picked up the buckskin shirt that was heavily beaded. "You sure boy, these might be worth sumthin'!"
Joey slowly shook his head, his eyes glinting a strange warning and the man heeded it, he knew enough men of this town to know when he should stop his conversing. He nodded and took the clothing behind the counter.
"Where can I get a horse?" Joey asked, his hands now busily removing the leather bonds that held the few braids in his hair in place.
"Horse, here?" The man gave a chuckle. "You'll be lucky to find one for sale even if ya have money."
Joey placed his hat back upon his head and gave a nod of disinterested thanks. "Senor" he said and made his way from the room back onto the street outside.
He paused and studied the houses, his eyes taking in horses that were tethered outside. Finally he saw the one he wished to take, he assumed it belonged to the man who had been discussing prices with the whore and since he was no longer out on the street Joey assumed he would be too preoccupied to be quick after him. He strolled up to the horse and nonchalantly unwound the reins from the post they were wrapped around. He gracefully mounted the animal and gave a soft push to its sides.
---
Joey rode for nearly two full days; he came upon Ojinaga just after sunset on the second day. The town had not changed; the small buildings lined the streets although he noticed that a few hastily built wooden stick houses had appeared. He tried to remember what he had felt the last time he had been here, but it was a blurred, numb thought that he could not penetrate. He wondered if his mother still lived here at all or had she moved on after abandoning him, travelling away with her family, a family he was no longer part of…
The bitterness began to well inside of him and he wrestled with just leaving here forever, but he found that he could not, no matter what lay ahead or behind this had once been his home, the place he longed to return to on dark cold nights in the Apache village where his only company had been the freezing winds and the dull throb of his latest beating…. This place is what he had fought to get back to.
He nudged his horse onwards and began to take the path that led through the village. Many people that dwelt within the village were still outside, they watched with curious eyes as he passed trying to discern who he was and what he was doing there. Joey ignored them and urged his animal onwards until he could see the river up ahead, its ripples of water sparkled in the gleam the sun shone down. He remembered this river so well, it had been a happy place, a place he had played as a small child, for a moment he was disappointed that his emotions would not allow him to remember that small joy of being a happy young boy with no cares… but he was who he was now, he had to be strong and proud, show no one his weaknesses, he knew what people did if they thought for a split second you were weak…
His mother's old dwelling was just ahead, he noticed that a new section of land just to the side had been cultivated into an ample corn patch, but apart from that small detail it did not look any different. He dismounted and led his horse around to the side and secured it there before pulling down his belongings. He turned and made his way back around to the front door. He mounted the few small stone steps and came to the doorway, for a moment he hesitated and then berated himself for having such a feeling… without giving himself another moment of thought he knocked hard three times upon the battered wooden door.
He heard movement from within and then the sound of a latch being lifted, the door opened and revealed the all too familiar face of his mother, a face that he had spent many a night cursing.
Maria's eyes widened in shock at the boy that stood before her, her eyes quickly pricking with tears. She opened her mouth but only a small noise from the back of her throat came out. She swallowed hard, her hand coming to clutch at her breast.
"Joey?" She finally pushed the name out, her voice disbelieving.
Joey did not look at her; he found the task too hard, her expression of lost joy twisted at his heart like a knife plunging and turning… It was as if everything she did wounded him further, making his anger brighter.
"I am home Mama" was all he said before pushing past her into the house.