Deserted of Memories

Chapter Two

"Eh? So you're the famous Fuji-sama?"

Confusion. Terror. Darkness.

"Your companions are all dead. And you can join them in hell."

The glint of a blade. A sudden flash. And pain, so much pain. It felt as if his body was on fire and he was dimly aware of the warm liquid soaking into the ground, the world dyed crimson in suffering.

Laughing, jeering, cruel taunts and endless screams that pierced the night air. Time seemed to stop as a storm of shadowed sand swept across the land, clouding his vision with swirls of the deepest red. And then he was sinking in a sea of anguish, lost in the depths of agony as the landscaped darkened to match the blackness of sin, his cries echoing the ache in his heart –

"Nya, wake up! Are you okay? What's wrong? You were screaming! Did you have a nightmare? Did you remember anything? Or is it something else?"

He opened his eyes to see the redhead leaning over him. Worry was etched clearly on the other's face and in the reflection of Eiji's eyes, he could see himself: breathless and dishevelled, eyes wide in what seemed to be a traumatic expression.

"Ne, ah . . . are you okay?" Eiji asked again, seeming to calm down a little.

"Fuji."

"Huh?"

"I think my name is Fuji."

Silence.

3.

2.

1.

"WHAT? You remembered? That's great! I can finally call you something! It's awesome! Ne, ne?"

Fuji smiled. Any trace of anxiety was gone as Eiji rambled on in his excitement, bouncing up and down on his bed. He had been right on betting that the prospect of his memories returning was enough to keep Eiji distracted, though maybe not for long.

However, deep down, Fuji was feeling very insecure. What had that nightmare been about? 'Fuji' was, after all, just a diversion, and most likely not his real name. He also doubted that the troubling events were fragments of his memories but the fear and ambiguity of the dream lingered even though he was wide awake. Another troubling thing was the actual fact that he could not remember who he was. A frantic part of him yearned for the safety of knowledge, of remembering but another part dreaded the truth. He hoped, hoped so desperately that the source of his amnesia was falling onto a rock, or something equally accidental. He did not – would not – believe that he had been through any sort of distressing scenario.

"Nya, Fujiko, I want you to meet my friend later! He owns a grocery shop. I sort of help out to, you know, earn some money."

Fuji immediately blinked out of his thoughts. In a way, he was starting a new life now, the life of Fuji, Kikumaru Eiji's friend. From now on, he promised himself, he would always smile and be happy. Eiji did not need to be burdened with anymore of Fuji's troubles. His previous memories were no use to him locked up in a corner of his mind and now they would not matter anymore. He was beginning a new stage.

The truth was, the first time Fuji had awoken, he had been scared senseless. With no idea who he was, where he was and why he was in a goddamned desert, fear for the future, for his life, for his sanity overtook him and he had sat helpless for countless hours in a frozen, detached state. Eventually, his fatigue must have made him doze off, but when he woke up again to see another person, his mind finally decided to get a move on and he was very relieved when Eiji had suggested working together. With that in mind, he had been very confused when Eiji had acted awkward one moment, then energetic the next. The mood changes had Fuji immensely puzzled, but now that they had arrived in Eiji's village, he hoped that Eiji would be back to normal, or at least, back to what Fuji thought was normal for Eiji. However, Fuji noticed that Eiji purposely avoided looking at the bakery when leaving the building.

"Is something wrong with the bakery?"

Fuji saw Eiji stiffen and knew at once that something was indeed wrong. Eiji's stammered reply of "No" also furthered his suspicions and Fuji was filled with a sudden concern for the redhead. Now that he thought about it, he barely knew anything about Eiji. Sure, Eiji had been optimistic and friendly, even allowing Fuji to stay at his place until his memories returned, but Eiji had never talked much about himself and his life. Instead, their conversations had been about trivial things like the weather, the landscape and the weather again.

As the two boys walked down the street, the differences between their lives became more apparent. The people that dotted the sides of the road all greeted Eiji in familiar terms, their cheerful voices ringing above the noise of everyday life. Other people came up and started conversing, talking about a whole manner of things, none of which Fuji understood. Some asked about Eiji's unknown companion but Fuji remained largely ignored, making the brunet feel even more out of place. What right did he have to barge into Eiji's life? However, the other didn't seem to mind and Fuji was even more convinced that in return, he would try to help Eiji as much as he could and lessen the burden he was placing.

"Ah, Eiji! You've come! You never came back yesterday, I was so worried. You weren't kidnapped, were you? Or associating with criminals?"

Fuji immediately grew annoyed at whoever the frantic voice belonged to. He may not have been the best thing that happened to Eiji, but he was no criminal. He looked around to see a young man gazing worriedly at Eiji. He was standing in front of a grocery shop and Fuji realised that this must have been Eiji's friend.

"Ah, gomen, Oishi. I kinda got lost," Eiji replied with a vivid grin, which irritated Fuji even more. Eiji had never smiled so brightly at him, what did that Oishi guy have that he didn't?

Probably the fact that he's actually Eiji's friend, not a random stranger, Fuji thought bitterly.

Eiji briefly introduced Fuji to Oishi, before spending the next couple of hours working at the shop, serving customers as well as performing other tasks around the shop. Fuji watched them and felt other people staring curiously at him, but he could not quite trust Oishi enough to leave Eiji with him. However, the more he saw, the more he realised that Oishi was actually very caring and reliable. Maybe he just envied the way Eiji was so natural and carefree around the grocery shop owner. Fuji just wished that sooner or later, Eiji could be as open around him too.

"Oishi! I'm going over to stock up on bread!" Eiji called, before leaving the shop.

Fuji narrowed his eyes. He did not want to be stuck alone with Oishi. After fuming for several moments, all of a sudden, he realised that he could ask Oishi questions about Eiji. He doubted that the kind-hearted young man realised Fuji's cold attitude hidden behind his smile.

"Saa . . . Oishi, isn't it? I'm Fuji. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Ah, nice to meet you too, Fuji-kun. Eiji told me that you lost your memories and are currently staying with him."

"That's right, but I would like to ask you something."

"What is it?"

"What connection does Eiji have to the bakery that he lives above?"

Oishi took a sharp breath. "Why . . . do you want to know?"

"There is something about that bakery isn't there? Eiji seems troubled by it."

"I shouldn't be telling you."

"But I need to know," Fuji pressed. "I owe Eiji so much and I want to help him with any of his problems. However, I can't do that if I don't know what's wrong."

There were a few moments of awkward silence. Oishi shifted nervously several times but Fuji would not back down. So Oishi seemed to reconsider and was deep in thought for several minutes assessing the situation before he finally relented.

"Maybe it would be in Eiji's best interests if I tell you. The story isn't dramatic, or anything near dramatic, but it is still a sensitive topic for Eiji. The bakery probably reminds Eiji of his parents."

"His parents?"

"Yes. The bakery used to be owned by his parents . . . before they, along with Eiji's siblings all died."

"What?"

"It happened a couple of years ago. Eiji and his family were supposed to visit their relatives, who live across the desert."

Fuji nodded. Eiji had explained that the land was split up into several kingdoms. Eiji's village was on the edge of one of those kingdoms, right next to the desert that acted as a landmark between the lands of Sei and Shun. Eiji had further explained that while Sei was one of the largest kingdoms, its large mass of land caused Sei to lack financially. Consequently, even Eiji's village was quite poor, even though it was situated right next to the castle. Shun was the opposite, small but its successful silk and gem trading allowed the land to flourish. As a result, a marriage had been arranged between the princess of Sei and the prince of Shun so that the two kingdoms could benefit from an alliance.

Oishi continued. "To get to the land of Shun from this village, you either have to make a long journey around the desert, or risk a trip straight across. His parents had originally planned to take the long route, but a couple of days before they were set to leave, Eiji fell sick. Unfortunately, the aspects of their arrival in Shun had already been planned so his parents decided to leave Eiji in my care while they took the way through the desert so that they could return quicker. However, due to some form of extreme bad luck, a large sandstorm swept across the desert on that day and Eiji's parents and siblings never arrived at his relatives place. Their bodies were never found, most likely buried forever in the dunes."

"S-so, since then?"

"Eiji has never quite been the same since then. He closed down his parent's bakery and moved from his house into the spare rooms above the bakery. It was supposedly to save space but I think Eiji just couldn't deal with living in the same place when his family weren't there. I try to look after him as best as I can but he blames himself for falling sick on that day. He decided that on the anniversary of their disappearance, he would travel into the desert and spend the morning there. That was why he was there yesterday. However, I'm not quite sure how he managed to get lost, he is always careful to remember the path he took."

"Maybe it was a sandstorm?"

"I'm not sure. Either way, I'm glad he met you. He may deny it but he's actually quite lonely living by himself. People have suggested that he move in with them, but he doesn't want to become a charity case. I hope you will look after Eiji when I'm not there. You are probably the best thing that has happened to Eiji lately."

Fuji's eyes shot open. What was Oishi saying? Why was he being so nice?

"My presence here will be more troublesome than helpful."

"No. You can help Eiji become more responsible. And maybe help him move on."

Suddenly, the bell of above the shop door chimed as Eiji came bursting in with a box full of bread.

"I'm back! And what's this about me?"

"Oh, ah, it's nothing," Oishi stammered. "I'll go put that bread in the storage room."

As Oishi left, the atmosphere grew awkward as neither party knew what to say.

Why aren't you so relaxed around me? You try to be light-hearted but you never seem to be comfortable. What do I have to do to make you truly smile at me?

Finally, Fuji was the first to speak up. "Eiji, I want to reopen the bakery under your home."

"NO! Did Oishi tell you something about me?"

The harshness and outright rejection of the idea had Fuji startled. However it just made him more determined to break the wall Eiji had created around his past.

"Oishi didn't tell me anything," Fuji replied. Since the young man had been of such a great assistance, Fuji figured he owed him one. "But living on top of an abandoned bakery is bad for your state of mind. And Oishi did tell me that you own it."

"Oh, you think I'll go crazy? That bakery is better off as it is, forgotten and discarded."

"Like the memories of your parents and siblings?"

"So Oishi did tell you something!"

"You can't wallow in self-guilt for the rest of your life! Your family would have wanted you to remember and move on."

"How would you know? You don't get anything because you're just a weird amnesic freak. I was perfectly fine before you intruded into my life!"

Fuji felt as if he had been slapped. Did Eiji really mean that? Had he just sabotaged everything with Eiji?

Another awkward silence ensured and Fuji lowered his eyes. "I'll go if I'm that bothersome."

Eiji seemed to realise that he had hurt Fuji's feelings. "Ah, I didn't mean that. I don't mind you being here."

"I don't belong here. I can't do anything. I'm just a bother."

"That's not true! Unless, this is the reason you want to reopen the bakery? So you have something to do?"

"Yes. Only, I've never baked before and I don't want to burn the place down." Help me. Spend time with me. Work together with me again.

"I know how to bake, but I'm supposed to help out Oishi." I've never tried this before. I don't want to make any mistakes.

"I'm sure Oishi wouldn't mind. With his personality, he could easily find another assistant," Fuji insisted. He gave Eiji his best pleading expression. "Please?

Choose the bakery. Choose to take chance. Choose me.

Eiji blushed and averted his eyes. "Maybe I'll give it a go."

Yes.