Ella lost track of time, the tears did not seem to want to abate and give her peace and as they flowed her eyes began to feel raw and sore. Her thoughts were blank and empty as they flashed up memories from her past, of bygone sadness and happiness. Her mind never lingered long upon any of them, they came in snatches, brief shafts of colour. Although it pained her to admit it she had not felt truly content until she had met Joey and become involved with him, it disgusted her, it was contradiction in the rawest form, how could she be content with anyone that only caused her pain, that treated her badly and had never given her a true kind word. Even Dave had been tender with her when the mood took him and worse still, even past customers had laid pretty words in her ear… from Joey she had never received anything other than contempt, anger and bitter disappointment, he had never even called her by her name in all the months they had been together.

She had been expecting something that never came and could not be given. To Ella it felt as if she had been spending these last few months breathing for him, living for him and being obsessed by him. She had never taken the time to wonder about what it all meant, what she was really getting herself into… she always left thinking too deeply until another time and now that time had come, it demanded her attention. Her only thoughts before had been of wanting him and not being able to pull herself from the grasp he seemed to have around her, now she could not do anything else but think about all her mistakes and it was a bitter tonic, one that she wished she had never had to taste.

She was disappointed in herself more than Joey, he had never pretended to be anything else than what he was, he had not hidden himself from her… she had seen something that was not there, she had wanted it to be a part of him so badly that she had forced it into her mind. But the truth of the matter was that Joey had no interest in changing his ways, in becoming the person she wished him to be, the man that could love her as passionately as she loved him. The realization was like another slap to her already swollen and bruised cheek.

Ella again descended into merciless tears and she could not keep in the whimpers and loud sobs that escaped from her lips, she could not remember ever feeling despair like this, not even in her darkest hours…

"Ella?"

Ella glanced up at the sound of the kindly voice; she had become so engrossed in her own sorrow she had not noticed Beulah enter. The older woman wore a look of deep concern and upon seeing Ella's face her heart softened further; she sat down upon the bed and roughly pulled Ella into a warm, comforting embrace. Ella could do nothing else but clutch at Beulah's shoulders, taking the solace that was offered with all her being and feeling grateful that it had been given by anyone in her time of need.

Beulah hushed the young girl that sobbed in her arms and stroked her hair until Ella's tears began to lessen and she regained some of her composure. Beulah pulled back and pushed the tear dampened hair out of Ella's face, cradling her cheeks, she smiled a warm understanding smile.

"Aw now, that's better" she whispered softly, wiping the remaining wetness from Ella's cheeks.

Ella was strongly reminded of her own mother in this moment, the tender, caring touch and voice… Ella suspected Beulah had once been a mother herself in the past.

"It seems like the end of the world, don't it?"

Ella nodded her head slowly, still feeling that motherly quality.

"Trust me Honey, it ain't… all three of us here have been forced by men, it ain't so bad… you just ain't used to it but I can tell ya it's better than a beatin'." She smiled again.

Ella gave a faint smile at her words, the fact that these three women, who lived in this dark, desperate place thought she was better than them, that she was a 'real' lady made the sting worse. When she'd first started out it had been in a town better than Crow Town it was true but life at that point was as hard and as undignified even if she had been the Belle of the establishment.

Ella wiped her hand across her eyes, "I know, I've been forced many times Beulah."

Beulah looked at Ella, her expression slowly forming into realization of what the words meant.

"You mean you were a…"

"Yeah" Ella nodded.

Beulah laughed, "I never would have thought it lookin' at you."

Ella gave a dry laugh in return before Beulah's face again took on a serious quality.

"Then I don't understand."

Ella looked at her, her eyes still stinging after so many tears. "Understand?"

"Why you are cryin', could understand it if you were a lady, but if you've been through all this…"

Ella gave a small nod and glanced out, her eyes grazing over the sand hills around the town and the slowly descending sun that could still be seen. Finally she turned back to Beulah.

"He won't let me leave; he says he'll find me" Ella said, changing the subject.

Beulah studied her a moment, "Best not get on the wrong side of him."

Ella gave a distracted nod before again returning her gaze to outside.

"I have been forced before" she said in a voice that wanted to choke back the words. "But never by a man… I loved."

Beulah's face fell in understanding, her dark expressive eyes full of sympathy and she again pulled Ella into a tight embrace.

Time passed slowly and soon Ella was able to pull herself away from the comforting arms that held her, feeling that she was emotionally strong enough to support herself. She studied Beulah for a moment, she looked to be in her forties, had long light brown hair and sky blue eyes, but she was weathered and tired looking in her features. Ella suspected that Beulah had once been a great beauty before hardship and sadness had whittled her looks slowly away.

"What are you doin' with a man like that?" Beulah asked, breaking the silence. "You don't seem like the kind of woman to follow someone like Joey."

Ella gave a small shrug. "I don't know… he shot my husband." She laughed dryly seeing Beulah's shocked expression, "John Wesley Hardin reckons he shot my husband because of me."

"An' what do you think?"

Ella gave another shrug. "I don't know what I think anymore, I just want t' go home."

Beulah rubbed Ella's shoulder in a comforting manner. "Did you stop working when you married?" she asked, sensing that a change in subject was called for.

Ella nodded. "I'd only worked for near on two years, one year of that being at a nice place in White Oaks run by Jane Greathouse… you know her?"

Beulah shook her head. "No, but I've heard tell of her, heard she treats her girls like kin."

Ella smiled, "She does."

Beulah hesitated, knowing that she would be steering the conversation back in the direction she had been trying to avoid but still she decided to ask anyway. "Does Joey know what you did before?"

Ella shook her head, "No, I don't think he'd be too happy neither."

Beulah gave a slow nod, agreeing silently with Ella's statement. "I won't tell him."

Ella glanced at her, a smile of thanks appearing upon her lips. "What about you, you ever been married?" She found it felt good to talk about anything that would take her mind off the last few hours.

Beulah's eyes darkened a little with underlying sorrow. "Yeah I was, used to live in Kansas with my husband and two boys." She paused, "We moved out to Texas because John, my husband, thought he could make a better living raising cattle." She smiled as if remembering a secret memory. "It went well for a few years but we kept getting cattle stolen by Apaches and bandits till we were strugglin'… When the winter came and the pox with it, well… My boy Robert was the first to go then my eldest Fred and finally my John went, I was the only one t' survive…" She paused again, "I sometimes think God punished me by leavin' me alive… well I had no money, no prospects, but I still had my looks so I used them." She glanced around the room as if seeing unwanted memories. "Ended up here after my looks no longer favored me so much an' well this is where I've been for near five years, take in anyone I can, like the girls, try and teach them what I know, how t' survive."

Ella nodded sadly. "I'm sorry to hear that, sorry to hear you ended up here… you ever feel like a change of pace you could come back with me… if I ever leave, there is good work if you're willin'."

Beulah grinned. "Well, I gotta say, not had anyone offer me that for a long time." She patted Ella's arm tenderly. "But I'm too old t' change my ways, it's not so bad - I don't have to do much and I don't get a beatin' as long as I keep quiet." She smiled again, "No, I've lived this life too long to change."

Ella felt her heart tug in pity at the woman's story but she knew it was one that was echoed all across the Southwest.

---

Ella did not see the point of taking her bed elsewhere, she knew Joey would most likely just drag her back for disobeying him and she felt tired, exhausted to the point of not caring anymore. So, once she and Beulah had talked for some length of time the older woman helped Ella ease her bruised body out of her clothing until she was down to her petticoat and camisole. Beulah had then put Ella to bed, tucking the covers around her in a tenderhearted way. Ella had let her eyes drift closed, her body telling her forcefully that she needed to rest, and sleep had claimed her easily.

When she next awoke the sky was dark, speckled with stars and wisps of grey cloud, she guessed it was the early hours of the morning. She became aware of someone else in the bed beside her and knew it was Joey returned from the saloon or wherever he had spent his evening. She thought of getting out of bed and seeking somewhere else to pass the remainder of the night now that he seemed to be asleep but her mind and body again protested and she allowed her eyes to close once more.

It was a bright and sunlit morning that greeted her eyes the next time she opened them. The sun was warm and the bedroom benefitted from its rays, giving the room a cozy, pleasant feel. She stared up at the ceiling for a moment, unsure what she should do from this moment on… it could never go back to how it had been for her, the feelings she had for the man lying beside her had been shattered beyond repair and yet she could not just switch off her emotions and despite it all her heart still seemed to beat for him. She glanced over at him; the warm, bright light fell softly upon his features, illuminating the smooth bronzed skin of his cheeks. His hair was spread around him on the pillow, silken strands of flaxen gold glinting in the sun, his lips were full and welcoming, holding promises of hidden sweet kisses. He looked like an angel, pure and perfect, his soft breaths stirring her own heart and yet it was all a lie… Once his beautiful deep blue eyes opened, dazzling in their beauty as the light picked out the vivid violet that lay hidden within the irises, he would direct that terrible gaze at her and the fantasy would be shattered, leaving her once again to grieve for the man that did not exist inside of him. The man he was so bent upon showing her was long dead and buried before he had even taken his first breath in this world, it was all a dream and yet he was still her angel… not an angel of light but an angel of betrayal.

---

Ella fell into a fitful sleep, filled with dreams that made no sense. Dreams of Joey and dreams of shadowed creatures lurking in dark corners waiting for her to walk close enough for them to snatch her into their clawed hands. Sometimes a shaft of light would show their faces for a flicker of a moment and she saw Dave's features twisted and monstrous, cruel handed customers, Johnny Duke and many other faces that were not a welcome sight and all distorted like the creatures were wearing them as paper masks to conceal their true hideous forms. The light was quickly fading around her and she knew once the light was gone so was her protection from what crept, hungry, in the darkness.

She could see Joey standing in a circle of brightly glowing candles a little way off but she could not run to it, a lake of black separated them and the monsters slithered on their bellies making strange shrieking noises. Ella called out Joey's name and the sound caught his attention. He turned, the candlelight glinting upon his hair, creating a haze about his head, reminding Ella of the pictures and stained glass windows of saints in churches she had seen in her youth. She looked at him, her eyes pleading for him to come and get her. She did not know how she knew it, but she did know that he could get to her somehow, that he could kill these monsters easily with his rifle if he just aimed, but the dark, sleek weapon remained slung casually over his shoulder and he made no move to remove it. His blue eyes found hers; their depths were cool and remorseless. Ella shouted his name once again, the light was waning around her, the circle becoming smaller and the beasts snarled in anticipation as she was forced to stand on her tiptoes. Joey continued to stare back at her and Ella's eyes beseeched him to help but all she gained in reply was a smug, callous smile. Her expression fell, all words and thoughts of imploring him to come to her aid dashed and dead, she knew without a shadow of a doubt that he was willing to leave her here to perish and what was more he didn't care…