Disclaimer: Young Americans does not belong to me, and I am not making any money out of this. It's for my own fun (and hopefully yours, too). Jake and Ham aren't mine either: I just borrow them to play with (and torture, in Ham's case, because it's just so amusing).
Summary: The third Young Americans episode "Kiss and Tell", written from Jake and Hamilton's point of view with a little personal tweaks. Enjoy!
A/N: This is my first time writing YA fanfiction, and as such, I'm rather nervous. So please read and review! It would mean a lot to me.
Keirah: thank you for your sweet reviews! It's good to know someone reads this…
-----
Jake ignored Hamilton for the whole of crew practice, except when he called out rebuking comments in a tone rather sharper than Hamilton felt was necessary. Still, he couldn't exactly blame him. He wanted to apologize, but he wasn't sure what to say – Sorry I'm mean to you, Jake, but you've got to understand, I want to kiss you all the time and it drives me crazy?
No, I thought not.
He should probably stay away until he got rid of this urge, anyway.
Trying to find something to distract himself from the dark-haired boy's stormy face, he looked around him, and blinked in surprise. Scout was practically burning a hole into Jake with his glare. And Jake, instead of glaring back, only seemed to be offering sympathetic looks, something which only made Scout appear angrier.
He frowned, looking between them. What was that about?
Jake caught his eyes and his expression immediately hardened again. Hamilton winced. Maybe he should apologize and be done with it, awkwardness be damned.
He didn't get the opportunity. When they reached the docks Jake hopped out and headed at a brisk walk back towards the school, as though he knew exactly what Hamilton had in mind and was doing his best to avoid it. Hamilton wanted to follow him, but it was his turn to help with returning the equipment today. He sighed. He'll just have to find him later.
Jake's room was locked when Hamilton arrived. He knocked on the door, calling "Jake, let me in, I'm sorry," just in case, but there was no answer. Maybe Jake left for a ride on his bike, to "cruise by the Rawley babes". He was probably picking up a girl right now. Maybe Hamilton should stop moping in front of his door and go do the same.
When he did see Jake again it was in Finn's literature class, that afternoon. Jake was sitting a few feet away, listening with what seemed like genuine interest.
"-To the woods because I wished to live deliberately. To front only the essential facts of life. To see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die discover I had not lived." Ok, what do we know about Thoreau?" Finn finished and looked at the class expectedly.
Hamilton tuned him out and looked over at Jake, who was now busying himself with plucking out strands of grass. He looked bored, and unimpressed with everyone's answers. Well, he should just say something himself if he was so smart then.
He still wasn't looking at Hamilton. Hamilton concentrated harder. Jake must have felt his eyes on him, but he was doing a good job of pretending not to.
"It's not possible. Emerson was Thoreau's mentor, his friend," Will said slowly, and as usual, Finn seemed impressed by what he said. Hamilton didn't think it was all that impressive, and apparently neither did Jake, because he rolled his eyes and began scratching his neck. Ha, Hamilton though in triumph, so he was feeling the gaze. Now if he would just stop being so stubborn and look over.
As if hearing his thoughts, Jake looked over, giving Hamilton a 'what the fuck do you want?' look. Hamilton put on his best puppy face, mouthing "sorry". He'd had years to perfect that look on his mother, and until now it had never failed him; he could get anything with that look.
Apparently Jake wasn't immune either, because while he rolled his eyes and looked away again, Hamilton could see a tiny smile hovering at the corners of his mouth. He grinned. Step one completed.
-----
Jake spent the ride back to school thinking about Bella and Scout. It really put her life back in perspective. So the guy she was – somewhat – into was ignoring her. She could handle that. It wasn't worth it, anyway. It wasn't like she was in love with him. Besides, it wasn't like she was even planning on staying here long enough to start an everlasting friendship.
With Bella it was different. Bella knew the truth; Bella was quickly becoming a good friend, and she needed her now. It would be petty to dwell in self-pity when Bella needed a shoulder.
Hamilton, though… he just wasn't worth it. What did she think, exactly? That she'll leave and they'd still be best friends? That she could actually have a relationship with him? No, she would finish what she came here to do and then go, and she didn't need to complicate things more. So what if he got her, if he made her feel special like no one else ever did? One new friend was enough. He didn't need her confusing him and then disappearing on him forever.
She would stay away from Hamilton. It was for the best, for both of them.
She stuck to her resolution all through crew practice. She could see the looks Hamilton was throwing her; he seemed remorseful, but she ignored it, fixing her face in a hard expression. Instead, she watched Scout. He was obviously just as miserable as Bella was, and just as bad at handling it.
God, sometimes life sucked. What were the odds of something like that happening? It was so… Greek tragedy. If she fell in love with someone and was fortunate enough to have him feel the same way, and then found out she could never, ever be with him… How do you even handle something like that? How do you even pick yourself up after that kind of curveball?
She caught Scout's death-glare and winced. Apparently, you transform your frustration into hate. She couldn't hold it against him, though; if it was her, she'd probably be doing much worse. And she guessed it did kind of look like she was putting the moves on Bella.
She sighed. She'd have to catch Scout and explain. Not everything, of course, but enough to stop him from trying to kill her with his mind.
Her eyes slipped over to Hamilton without thinking; he looked between her and Scout, obviously puzzled by the weird vibe they had. She glared at him. Stay out of it. It was none of his business.
She ignored him for the rest of practice.
When they got back to the docks she saw Hamilton lean forward and look at her, as though he meant to grab her to make sure she'll stay and talk to him.
She had no intention of granting him that wish. She hopped out quickly and started as fast as she could towards the school. She knew it was Hamilton's turn to put the equipment away today. Lucky for her. Unfortunately, Scout also had put-away duty. She'll just have to catch him later.
She got back to her room and sat in front of her computer, logging into her email account. No new messages from mom, of course. Where was she now? Berlin? Or was it Barcelona? She really couldn't keep up anymore.
No new messages from Meagan, her personal assistant, either. That was strange. Usually she got one every couple of days, detailing Monica's whereabouts and wishing her a good day. It was even signed "Love, Mom" but Jake realized the truth long ago. When her mother wrote, she usually wrote no more than two or three sentences, never inquired after her week or wished her a good day, and always, always signed "Monica".
Pity they hadn't figured out the differences themselves. Still, it was nice to know someone made the effort.
Just than, she heard someone knock on her door. She froze, concentrating on staying very quiet, and sure enough, Hamilton's voice came floating "Jake, let me in, I'm sorry".
She winced. He was really a good guy, even if he was a little bipolar. He didn't deserve her treating him like this, though he had acted like a jerk. But she still didn't answer, and after knocking once again she heard him walk away.
She sighed, biting her lip. It's for the best, she told herself. Nothing good can come out of this. It's for the best.
She was furiously rethinking her resolution when lit. class came around. She sat a few feet away from Hamilton, and she could feel his eyes burning holes into the back of her neck. He probably had that sad puppy face on. She was so not going to look.
She tried to concentrate on Finn's words, but she wasn't getting a single thing. Plus, her neck was starting to itch.
Damn Hamilton.
Will said something. Finn nodded as though it was really impressive; she hadn't heard a word he said. She looked down. The ground beside her was almost grass-free. She scratched her neck.
She couldn't do this.
Jake glanced over at Hamilton. Sure enough, there was the puppy-face – and damn, how was anyone supposed to resist that? He was completely adorable. She'd bet her bike even his own mother had trouble resisting that face, and she's had years to develop her resistance. What was a girl supposed to do?
He caught her eyes and mouthed "sorry". His eyes were so blue, she felt she could drown in them, and he seemed so sincere. It was more than she could take.
She rolled her eyes but allowed a small smile to appear. Hamilton's expression immediately brightened, and he gave her that gorgeous smile of his. She looked away quickly.
It was so not helping her with her "no relationship possible" mantra. She was once again reminded why she decided to break this friendship off while it was still young, but she couldn't.
There was no point denying it; Hamilton Flemming was something else, and she wanted to be with him, in any way she could. And if it was just friendship she could have – well, she was okay with that.
-----
As soon as class was over Hamilton hurried over to Jake. He put on his best regretful expression. "I'm really sorry" he said again. Jake shrugged, but his expression wasn't hostile. "It's cool," he said. Hamilton still felt the need to explain, though "I'm sort of going through something right now, and I took it out on you. I shouldn't have done that".
Jake looked him in the eye "no, you shouldn't have. But it's okay. I know what you mean; we all do it at some point in our lives".
"Really?" Hamilton perked up. It was easier than he thought, getting Jake to forgive him, at least when he managed to get him to acknowledge his presence.
"Yeah," Jake said. "Forget it."
"So we're cool," Hamilton clarified.
Jake smiled "yeah, we're cool". There was that smile again, doing strange things to his insides.
"Great," Hamilton refused to get uncomfortable "so how about that ride now? We could go into town, maybe grab a couple of burgers…"
Jake laughed "yeah, sure-" he then paused as though he suddenly remembered something, and looked around in alarm "oh shit, where's Scout?"
Hamilton frowned, looking around, and pointed to a distant figure "there. What's up with the two of you, anyway?"
"Never mind," Jake waved it aside "could we postpone that ride? Say, around dinner time?"
"Yeah, okay…" Hamilton answered. "Then maybe – "
"I'll catch you later, all right?" without waiting for an answer, Jake ran after Scout's swiftly disappearing back.
"Catch you later…" Hamilton echoed, trying not to pout. He was looking forward to hanging out with Jake today. He sort of missed having him around, even if it was only a day since they last hung out together.
He wanted to know what was the deal with Jake and Scout, too. It bugged him that Jake wouldn't tell him, like it was some big secret or something. He didn't like the idea of Jake having secrets he didn't know.
God, Hamilton, he thought to himself. Possessive, much? Get over it.
He looked around, seeing a group of boys throwing a Frisbee between them. He recognized a few from his classes and crew.
"Hey," he said, coming over "need another player?"
------
After class ended, Hamilton hurried over to Jake, as though he was afraid she'd bolt again. "I'm really sorry," he repeated.
"It's cool," Jake shrugged. She could handle his mood swings, as long as he acknowledged his mistakes.
"I'm sort of going through something right now, and I took it out on you. I shouldn't have done that" Hamilton continued, looking at her earnestly.
"No, you shouldn't have" she agreed. "But it's okay. I know what you mean; we all do it at some point in our lives". God knows she did that, too; she tended to take out her disappointment at her mother out on her friends, until she realized it didn't help at all. Her mother was never around to even notice her frustration, anyway, and her friends were. She didn't want to alienate them, too.
"So we're cool," Hamilton asked. He still seemed anxious, and she smiled. He was so cute.
"Yeah, we're cool," she answered, and Hamilton beamed at her. She fought not to blush. Damn, he could blind someone with that grin if he wasn't careful.
"Great," he said enthusiastically "so how about that ride now? We could go into town, maybe grab a couple of burgers…" he waggled his eyebrows suggestively and she laughed. Was there even a minute in his life that when he wasn't thinking about food? He was such a typical teenage boy sometimes.
"Yeah, sure," she said, and then jumped in alarm, looking around wildly, remembering. "Oh shit, where's Scout?" she needed to find him and explain before things got out of hand.
"There" Hamilton pointed. Scout was almost out of sight. "What's up with the two of you, anyway?"
"Never mind," she avoided his eyes. It wasn't her secret to tell. "Could we postpone that ride? Say, around dinner time?"
She could tell he was disappointed, and the thought warmed her "yeah, okay…" he answered."Then maybe –"
She could barely see Scout anymore "I'll catch you later, all right?" she threw over her shoulder and took after Scout running, not pausing to even hear Hamilton's reply. She'll just have to make it up to him later.
She caught up to Scout just before he entered the woods with Will, probably heading into town. "Hey, guys, wait up!" she called, out of breath.
They turned to look at her, Scout instantly scowling. "What?" he snapped.
"Scout, can I talk to you for a minute?" she asked, trying to sound as unthreatening as possible.
"I'm in a hurry right now" he said shortly, turning his back on her. She saw Will give him a look, and he turned back, sighing.
"Fine," he bit out. "Make it quick".
She glanced at Will and he took the hint, wandering a little ahead to give them privacy.
"Look," she said "I know you think there's something going on between me and Bella, but we're just good friends, nothing more. And we'll never be anything more, I promise you that".
He looked at her suspiciously, but seemed slightly mollified "whatever. It's not my business anyway".
She sighed "Scout… I know, about you and Bella. And I can't even begin to say how sorry I am – "
"She told you?" he seemed surprised, and angry.
"Yeah," she said, and added quickly "she's really devastated, she just needed a shoulder to cry on –"
Scout gave her a nasty look "and you just happened to be that shoulder, ha?"
"Stop it," she said, starting to lose her patience "I already told you, nothing is going on between me and Bella. If she and I would be the last two people on earth, we still wouldn't get together. So what I'm saying is – I know you're angry and hurt and frustrated, but stop taking it out on me, because I'm not your enemy, and go comfort your sister, because there's only so much I can do".
She turned to go, shaking her head to herself. He caught her sleeve, and she turned around, looking at him questioningly.
"I'm sorry," he said "you're right. I have no right to be angry at you, even if there was something going on between you and Bella". At her protesting look he smiled and added "but I'm glad you told me there isn't. I'm sorry I was a jerk, I'm just so…"
"Overwhelmed?" she offered. At his nod, she continued "I know, I get that. I can't even begin to grasp what it's like, and I hope I'll never have to. It's only natural to feel angry at the world. But it won't get you anywhere, trust me. Sooner or later, you're just going to have to accept the truth and move on, and your life will be a lot easier if you'll do it sooner rather than later".
Maybe I should take my own advice, she thought to herself. Maybe I should just accept the fact that my mother is practically a stranger to me and just stop with all those crazy schemes and plotting. I'm only hurting myself, in the end.
Scout looked at her, puzzled "wow," he said. "That was… deep. Almost like…"
Almost like a girl, she knew that's what he wanted to say. She could've kicked herself for being so stupid. Guys weren't supposed to say stuff like that. She quickly improvised "I took psychology at my former school".
"Oh," he seemed to accept that explanation. He smiled "thanks, though. What you said really hit home. You're a cool guy, Jake," he added, punching her on the shoulder.
She tried not to wince. "Thanks. You're a cool guy yourself. And if you need an ear, well," she shrugged "I'm here".
"Yeah, I'll keep that in mind," he nodded "again, thanks. I'd better get going," he looked over at Will, who was motioning at his watch impatiently "but I'll catch you around. Feel free to drop by the diner," he grinned "maybe I could throw in a free burger".
She laughed "I'll take you up on that offer. See you later!" she waved at the two boys and started back towards the school.
Will and Scout hurried through the woods. Scout looked over at Will "you were right. Jake's a cool guy".
Will smirked "and just what did he say to you that changed your mind?"
"He's not interested in Bella," Scout said, and Will laughed uneasily. He didn't really feel comfortable with Scout's jealousy. "But more than that," Scout continued "he's a smart kid. Strange maybe, but smart. He said some really insightful things to me".
"I hate to say I told you-" Will grinned, and Scout rolled his eyes "but I told you".
"Yeah, yeah," Scout cuffed him about the head "shut up".
-----
Hamilton was just in the middle of a particularly spectacular throw when his mother came up to him, accompanied by a cute girl with dyed red hair.
"Oh, hold on one second" he heard his mother say. "Here's munchie."
Hamilton glared at her. And before other people, no less! "Mom," he gritted out "drop the munchie".
"Okay" she said, as though she hadn't said that a thousand times before. "Uh, Lena, Hamilton, Hamilton, Lena" she introduced the two of them. "Hamilton's my son. Lena's here is from LA and she's touring our school," she turned to look at Hamilton "so could you do me a favor and take her back to the girls' campus so she doesn't get lost, okay?
"Sure," Hamilton smiled. Lena was cute. Maybe something would come out of this. He did say he needed to hook up.
Lena smiled back.
"Alright, have fun," his mother said not so subtly before leaving.
"So," Hamilton said, sticking his hands in his pockets.
"So," Lena echoed, looking at him.
They started walking in the direction of the girls' school. "So, what's it like in LA?" Hamilton asked, genuinely curious. He lived in New Rawley for most of his life, and he figured life in a big city had to be pretty exciting. Although Jake probably wouldn't have been very impressed with LA, living in New-York all his life. Then again, Jake wasn't very much impressed with anything.
He really shouldn't be thinking about Jake now.
"Nothing's indigenous" Lena shrugged. "Even the palm trees are brought in. I always wanted to say that. It's from the 'The Way we Were' ".
"You like movies," Hamilton said. He liked movies, too. This could work.
"Some" she answered. "Mostly old ones".
Old ones? Well, old westerns and such were cool. He could totally dig that.
"They just restored an old drive in near here" he said, suddenly remembering. "It opens tomorrow night". Maybe he should ask her out on a date. She seemed to like him. And it would certainly get his mind off Jake.
As if summoned by his thoughts (and he had a frankly unnatural way of doing that) Jake appeared before them, waving. He jumped down from the bench he was standing on. "Hey," he said.
"Hey," Hamilton answered. Jake looked between him and Lena, raising an eyebrow.
"Hi," Lena said instantly. Hamilton glanced at her, but she was completely focused on Jake.
"Hi," Jake smiled.
Hamilton decided to intervene "Jake, this is –" he started, but Lena beat him to it.
"Lena," she said immediately, offering Jake a warm smile. Hamilton frowned. She didn't smile like that at him when they were introduced.
"Hi Lena," Jake said.
"From La" Hamilton said quickly. He was beginning to feel left out. "She's checking out Rawley for fall semester. I was gonna show her to the girl's campus" he added, hoping both of them would get the hint.
Neither of them did. Lena didn't even bother looking at him, while Jake smirked and said "mm, well, how chivalrous". Lena giggled.
"We're going to the drive in tomorrow night to see a movie, do you want to come with us?" she said, before Hamilton had the time to protest. It wasn't like he even invited her yet! But he didn't want to point that out – she'd probably just ditch him and go alone with Jake. The thought made him scowl – he didn't like that idea one bit.
Stupid Jake, honing in on his action.
Jake caught his scowl and glanced at him, but at Lena's insistent look he said "yeah, sure".
Lena beamed.
Hamilton rolled his eyes "great".
Jake frowned, but before he could say anything Lena said "You know, you look exactly like my ex-boyfriend".
Jake laughed "I hope that's a compliment". That's Jake, Hamilton thought bitterly. Always so in-control and charming.
Lena giggled again "it is" she assured him, looking him up and down.
"You know, people tell me and Jake that we look alike" Hamilton butted in, a last desperate effort. He leaned close to Jake to emphasize his point, and was immediately surrounded by the now familiar scent. He swallowed.
"For real?" Lena said, making a face. "Hm. I don't see it" she announced firmly, not even pretending to think it over.
Hamilton gave up. "The girls school is this way" he said. He wanted Lena as far from Jake as possible, though he wasn't about to dwell on the 'why'. He just did.
Lena, of course, had other plans. "So, we're gonna see you tomorrow night?" she turned to Jake, ignoring Hamilton's impatient hovering.
Jake smiled. It was the same smile that made Hamilton's inside turned to mush, although it wasn't directed at him this time. It seemed to have the same effect on Lena. "Yes you will" he confirmed, before waving goodbye and walking away.
Lena watched him go before turning to follow Hamilton. "He looks exactly like my ex-boyfriend" she told him, shaking her head and smiling to herself.
Hamilton scowled again. This was so not turning out to be a good day.
------
Jake looked around for Hamilton as she crossed the lawn, and spotted him playing Frisbee with some guys. She smiled. She'd just head back to her room to change clothes (she got grass stains on them during class) and then she'd come back and join them. She played Frisbee a lot as a kid.
When she got to her room she checked her mail. Still nothing. She frowned. Maybe she should just call, see if everything was all right.
Consuela answered on the third ring. Jake smiled, although the woman couldn't see it. "Hey, Consuela, it's Jake – ah" she caught herself and corrected "Jacqueline".
Consuela's welcoming shout almost deafened her "Jacqueline, is that you? I haven't heard from you in ages" she reprimanded her. "How are you? How is your new school? Are you enjoying yourself?"
"Yeah" Jake assured her. She bit her lip and hesitated before blurting out "is mom there?"
The silence on the other side of the line gave her all the answers she needed. "Oh, she left again" she said flatly.
Consuela tried to sound enthusiastic "yeah, she got a call yesterday from her agent – you remember that movie in Hollywood she auditioned to? Well she got it".
Jake stared blankly at the wall "Hollywood. Wow".
She must have sounded depressed, or rather Consuela just knew her that well, because she immediately said "honey, don't take it to heart. You know how your mother is. I'm sure she meant to call you-"
"No, no," Jake said quickly. The last thing she needed was Consuela trying to make her feel better by telling her things neither of them believed. "Glad the role came through". Consuela sighed, so she quickly added "yeah, well, I'm sure they mean to call and tell me" she didn't know if she was referring to her mother, Meagan or her agent.
"Honey," her house keeper started.
"No, it happens, it happens" Jake cut her off. She couldn't stand to hear other people make excuses for her mom anymore.
Consuela sighed loudly again, knowing it was a lost cause "take care of yourself, Jacqueline dear, and you'd better be eating! If you'll come back even thinner than you were when you left I'll force-feed you until you'll look like the Christmas turkey" she threatened.
Jake laughed "yeah, I will".
"I miss you," Consuela said quietly.
"I miss you too, Consuela" Jake assured her, feeling her throat seize up a little. She needed to end this conversation. "Bye," she said quickly.
"Bye honey," her house keeper said, and Jake hung up. She took a deep breath. No point in dwelling, right? She squared her shoulders and went to find Hamilton.
She saw the group of boys he played with earlier, but he wasn't among them. She stepped up on a bench for a better view, and sure enough she saw him coming her way, accompanied by a red-headed girl about their age. She was pretty, and Jake swiftly quelled the little flare of jealously she felt.
"Hey," she said, jumping down from the bench.
"Hey," Hamilton said, smiling.
The redhead looked at her in interest. "Hi," she said.
Jake smiled. She seemed like a nice girl. "Hi," she answered.
Hamilton looked between them. "Jake, this is –" he started, but the girl cut him off. "Lena," she told Jake, smiling at her.
"Hi Lena," Jake said.
"From La" Hamilton said quickly. Jake looked at him – he seemed annoyed. "She's checking out Rawley for fall semester. I was gonna show her to the girl's campus".
Oh, so that was it. He was trying to woo the redhead. She fought the urge to glare. She had no right. She smirked instead "mm, well, how chivalrous". She hoped Lena would get the hint, but instead, Lena giggled and continued to look at her.
Oh man. She was starting to get the feeling that Lena was more interested in her than in Hamilton. How embarrassing. Just like Grace Banks. Why was it that she was such a chick-magnet when she was actually really a girl? She couldn't understand it. Was she really that unfeminine?
"We're going to the drive in tomorrow night to see a movie; do you want to come with us?" Lena asked her, smiling coyly. She was flirting with her! She saw the glare Hamilton sent both of them, but acting on an impulse answered "yeah, sure". She heard Hamilton mutter "great".
She knew it was wrong. She knew she was leading Lena on, and that she was "stealing Hamilton's girl", but she couldn't help it. She did not want Hamilton to go to the drive in with Lena, or with any other girl, for that matter.
She suddenly panicked. What happened to "no relationship"? What happened to "going away forever after the summer session was over"? She was so fucking this up. Hamilton deserved to get the girl he wanted; she had no right to ruin that for him. She was going to disappear soon, anyway.
She opened her mouth to say she just remembered she had a prior engagement, but Lena chose that moment to pipe up "you know, you look exactly like my ex-boyfriend".
So that was the source of her interest. Jake relaxed, although she wasn't sure if she should've been offended. After all, Lena just told her she reminded her of another guy. Still, since she was currently trying to pass as a guy, she assumed she could let it slide.
She laughed instead "I hope that's a compliment".
Lena giggled again. It was a little annoying. "It is," she said.
"You know, people tell me and Jake that we look alike" Hamilton announced suddenly. It was a ridicules statement – they were the farthest from each other they could be, unless Jake actually put on a dress. Still, she felt bad for him so she humored him and stood still so that Lena could compare them. She heard Hamilton swallow. He really liked this girl.
"For real?" Lena said in disinterest, and Jake winced. Ouch. "Hm. I don't see it" the redhead announced.
She saw Hamilton's shoulders sink. "The girls school is this way" he said, scowling.
Lena didn't even look at him "So, we're gonna see you tomorrow night?" she asked Jake.
Jake smiled. It was too late to back out now. "Yes you will," she said. She tried not to look at Hamilton's expression. "I need to go," she said, waving her hand vaguely in the direction of the school, before saying goodbye and escaping. She could feel Hamilton's glare burning into her back as she walked away.
-----
Hamilton was in a bad mood for the rest of the day. Around five Jake came to find him. He smiled at Hamilton and said "do you want to go get those burgers now? I'm getting kind of hungry…"
Hamilton shot him a glare. "No," he said, and stood up, walking away without looking back. Jake didn't come after him.
Hamilton fumed all the way back to his house, but during the walk his anger started to disappear, replaced by anxiety. He totally blew Jake off, again. There was no way Jake was going to keep forgiving him if he just continued to do it every time he got a little frustrated.
He didn't even know why he was so furious in the first place. Sure, Jake was so not cool, flirting with Lena when Hamilton was obviously interested in her, but Lena was the one that started the flirting. She was the one obviously not into Hamilton. And clearly very into Jake.
You're just jealous because you want Jake to yourself, a little inner voice piped up. He froze. That was so not it. He didn't fancy Jake. Not one bit. He fancied Lena. That was the reason he was annoyed.
Right, redheaded cute girly Lena, the voice continued, mocking, and Hamilton put his hands over his ears and started humming, trying to drown it out. It didn't work. You so totally dig dark-haired gorgeous boy Jake, the voice whispered nastily.
Hamilton kicked the wall, but all he got in return was an aching foot.
It was a complete lie, of course. One rebellious little voice didn't make it right.
Keep telling yourself that, the voice sounded like it was smirking.
Hamilton was obviously going insane. Hearing nonexistent voices – first stop down the road to the mental institute. He should just go and check himself in now, save himself the trouble of waking up in a few weeks wearing just a table cloth and socks and talking to rabbits in the woods, convinced they would answer.
He kicked the wall again, just to make a point, and headed up to his room. He needed to do some serious thinking.
-----
Jake watched Hamilton's retreating back. She wasn't angry at him – she understood where he was coming from – Jake had stolen his crush. It had to suck, not to mention bruise his delicate manly ego a little. She'll just give him a little time to cool off, and then explain she wasn't into Lena.
Too bad she couldn't say she wasn't into Hamilton.
Her stomach grumbled, reminding her of her original propose of coming to find Hamilton. She shrugged. She'll just have to go without him.
She parked next to the diner and entered. Scout and Will looked up as she entered and smiled. "Come to get that free burger?" Scout asked.
She grinned back and sat next to the counter "definitely".
"One burger coming right up," Scout said, and Will rolled his eyes. "That's coming out of your paycheck," he warned. Scout shrugged good-naturally "I think I can handle that".
While she was waiting for her burger she glanced out of the window, seeing Bella working on a car over at the garage. "You talked to Bella?" she asked Scout in a low voice. He followed her eyes outside "yeah," he answered. "We're working through it".
She nodded approvingly.
"Here's your food," Will said, placing a plate before her. It smelled delicious, and she bit into it hungrily, almost choking on her mouthful. The boys laughed "hungry much?"
She nodded and swallowed "ravenous. This is really good," she took another bite of the burger.
"Fortunately," Will smiled. "So, Jake, we haven't really talked much, despite being on crew together and all. What are you doing here at Rawley?"
Jake shrugged, not meeting his eyes "thought the brochure sounded nice. And Rawley seemed like something that would look good on a college application".
"So you plan on staying?" Scout asked.
Jake shook her head "nah, I'll probably go back to New-York after the summer".
"Really?" they both looked surprised. "Why? Don't you like it here?"
"It's an okay school, I guess," she finished her burger and wiped her mouth "better than some of the others I've been in. But there's no point in staying here. I can be just as miserable closer to home," she said, than froze. "I mean – "
"Miserable?" Scout frowned.
"That's not what I meant. It's a nice school, as boarding schools go. Cool people, cool classes, but it's not me. I can be not me in the comforts of my apartment".
"You live in New York, right?" Will asked. "Must be hard, being so far from your family for such a long time. I understand why you'd want to go back".
Jake snorted "yeah, right. Family. Remind me what's that again?"
"What?" they both asked, bewildered. She mentally kicked herself. Was there some truth drug in the burger?
"Don't pay attention to me," she said brightly, hopping off the school before they had the chance to ask anything else. "I'm just babbling. I gotta go, but thanks for the food," she smirked at Scout "tell you what, I'll pay for yours next time. See ya!"
She left the diner quickly, heading over to Bella's.
Behind her, Will and Scout exchanged looks. "What did he mean by that?" Scout wondered. Will stared after her "I don't think he actually meant to say that, if the way he bolted out of here is any indication".
"Hi," Bella looked up and smiled as Jake stopped next to her, leaning against the wall. "What's up?"
Jake pretended to think "oh, just the usual. Hamilton's not talking to me because the girl he wants totally prefers me over him – which kinda freaks me out but I'm getting used to it – but at least Scout doesn't hate me anymore because he thinks I'm putting the moves on you". She sighed "girls totally dig Jake, by the way. He's apparently such a ladies man".
Bella laughed, but she looked puzzled "I just don't get it. I saw through you right away – how come they don't?"
Jake shrugged "you're more perspective? I don't know. But I can tell you it's really damaging my self esteem".
"Oh, Jake," Bella sighed. "You're a beautiful girl, trust me. You just make a really cute guy as well. Take off that binder and put on some lipstick and no one will be able to doubt you're entirely female".
"Thanks," Jake smiled self-consciously "for your kind words, but I'm okay with it, really. I've had my share of boyfriends – enough to convince me I'm attractive, anyway. So I think I can walk away from this little escapade with my pride intact," she laughed.
"If you're all right, then" Bella said, and they left it at that.
"Anyway," Jake said "I'd better get back, I just wanted to make sure you're holding up okay".
"I'm fine," Bella assured her. "In fact, I have a date tomorrow".
"Really?" Jake perked up. "With who?"
"Sean, he's – he's a friend, I guess – but I think he could be more. He's really cute," She added "we're going to the drive-in".
Jake burst out laughing.
"What?" Bella asked defensively.
"No, no, I'm not laughing at you," Jake assured her in between her wheezing "it's just – I'm going with Hamilton and Lena to the drive in tomorrow, too. He asked her, and she asked me without even talking it over with him. It should be interesting".
"Oh god," Bella giggled "you get yourself into the strangest situations".
"Yeah," Jake scratched her neck "I sure do. And now I really need to get going, but I'll probably see you tomorrow. Enjoy your date," she winked.
"You too!" Bella called after her, grinning.
------
After a while of going crazy in his room, Hamilton decided he might as well go crazy in public. Maybe it would even drown out the voices. He headed over to the common room, nodding his hellos to Will and the few other guys he knew there before dropping down on the sofa. The others were watching some movie, and he glanced at it, not really interested.
The idle chatter around him, and the fact that he wasn't attracted to any of the guys there, served to calm him and he began to relax.
As if on cue (judging by the day Hamilton was having, it was probably planned) Ryder Forest, resident jerk, came in with a smirk and a video camera.
"Greetings, gentlemen" he announced, smirking. "I'm making a documentary chronicling the hopes, the fears, the dreams of some of our freshmen, setting forth at the illustrious Rawley Academy. Let's start with you" he stopped in front one of the other boys, Henry Johnson, who looked perplexed. "Tell us child, what is your name?"
After listening to Ryder insult Henry a bit, Will rolled his eyes and said "why are you here, Ryder?"
Ryder turned his mocking smile on him "because my mother had the poor taste to marry American, and this is his pathetic idea of a good school. I'm hoping it proves to be the low point in my life. And from what I understand, it will probably be the high point of yours. I'm sorry, but at some point the scholarship money will run out, and let's face it, the tips your mum makes at the wash and set just aren't gonna cut it at these places".
Hamilton tensed, expecting Will to at least punch Ryder, but Will only smirked himself and shook his head in disgust "you are a useless individual, aren't you?"
Ryder smiled almost proudly "yeah. But I'm great fun". He moved his camera towards Will, and Hamilton recognized it.
"It's not even your camera, Ryder" he said. "That's school property".
"Duh, Hamilton" Ryder said in a mock-American accent. He turned to face him "tell us Ham, have you gotten laid yet? I mean, I know it's been hard for you all these years, being the runt among all these nubile young women".
Trust Ryder to hit a sore spot.
"Why don't you just lay off him Ryder?" Willed asked angrily.
Hamilton shrugged, feigning indifference, and got up "don't bother Will, I'm outta here". As he walked out he heard Ryder's delighted laugh "I mention sex and he wants to be alone". He ignored the urge to go back and punch him and instead only quickened his pace.
As the next day was the start of the weekend they had no classes, and Hamilton didn't see Jake at all until the evening. For once, he didn't go look for him when he was bored. He was becoming more and more uncomfortable around the other boy, to a point when it was starting to outweigh the pleasure of his company.
It was with dread that he met Jake and Lena at the lawn, half an hour before the movie was due to start. "Hey," Jake said, but Hamilton only nodded shortly in recognition. Lena was hovering next to Jake, her eyes barely leaving him for enough time to say hello to Hamilton.
He frowned, before saying "I thought we'd take my parents' car. They said it's okay".
"Does it have an open roof?" Jake asked.
"No," Hamilton answered. "But we can get lawn chairs there. It more comfortable than watching the movie from a car anyway, even if it defeats the purpose of a drive in".
"That it does," Jake laughed in agreement. His laugh had an effect even worse than his smile on Hamilton, and he tried not to blush. "Okay, chairs it is. Where's your car?"
"This way," Hamilton motioned towards his house.
Jake insisted that Lena would sit in the front next to Hamilton, claiming he wanted space to stretch his legs during the drive. Lena agreed, and Hamilton wondered if this was Jake's way of apologizing for moving in on Lena earlier. It was too late, however.
They didn't talk at all during the ride, although Lena glanced back at Jake every half a minute. Hamilton looked at him at him once through the frontal mirror; he seemed relaxed, almost serene, half-laying against the car's door with his eyes shut, his sharp profile a play of black and white in the shadows. He looked surprisingly feminine in that moment, and almost breathtakingly beautiful. Hamilton returned his eyes to the road and didn't look at him again.
Jake sat up as they parked the car, and jumped out, stretching.
"Had a nice nap?" Lena asked teasingly, and he grinned sheepishly "yeah".
"The chairs are this way," Hamilton pointed, and walked away without waiting to see if they followed him. They did, and soon enough they were positioning themselves in a likely spot. Jake threw himself into a chair on the end, and Lena sat next to him, in the middle, leaving Hamilton to take her other side.
They watched the movie in silence for a while, Lena watching Jake more than she did the movie, and Hamilton watching them both. The dark-haired boy seemed the only one interested in actually seeing the movie.
"This movie's so romantic," Lena said suddenly, leaning close to Jake. He gave her a bewildered look and said "it's creepy, she's a witch".
"No," Lena smiled "I mean, two people fall for each other under the worst possible circumstances, and they go for it".
Hamilton shifted uneasily. That remark had hit a little too close to home with him. Not that he was falling in love with Jake, of course. To distract himself, he said "oh look, full moon".
Jake's smile flashed white in the dark as he looked up "oh yeah, look at that!"
Lena gave Hamilton a look "actually, it's a full moon tomorrow night".
Both boys frowned at her. Hamilton rolled his eyes and turned back to the movie, muttering "thanks for the update". He couldn't remember why he thought she was cute in the first place. She was such a pain in the ass.
The three of them sat in a tense silence for a few moments, until Jake announced loudly "I'm gonna go and get some jujubes". He got up and walked away quickly.
As soon as he was out of sight Lena turned to Hamilton. "I thought he'd never leave!" she said in excitement.
Hamilton stared at her. Was he wrong all this time and she was actually interested in him and just had a very bad way of conveying it? Somehow, he doubted that. "What do you mean?" he asked.
"I mean, you've gotta tell me everything" Lena gave him a 'duh' look. "Do you think he likes me? I thought I got those vibes, but am I confusing signals? He's so hard to read!" she sighed, and added "but that's kind of what I like about him".
"Yeah," Hamilton said quietly. That's kind of what he liked about Jake, too. Among other things. He sighed. Face It, Ham, he told himself, you're jealous, and it's not because you want Lena.
Lena didn't seem to notice "can you talk to him for me?" she asked, clearly expecting him to agree.
"No," he said, appalled at the suggestion, and then quickly added "I mean, bad idea". Just because he was finally sort of admitting it to himself, it didn't mean he had to admit it to the whole world. Ever.
"What, you talking to him or us getting together?" Lena wrinkled her brow.
"I don't know" Hamilton shrugged. "I just don't see it. The whole thing".
Lena gave him a hostile look "really," she said, before getting up and sitting again in Jake's empty chair. Hamilton gave her a nasty look of his own. He was relieved, a little. At least now he could keep an eye on them.
Jake came back then, looking between them, obviously awkward. "They were out," he said, hesitating a little before sitting back down in the middle. They spent the rest of the movie in silence.
When they got to the car, Lena blatantly got in the back, throwing an expectant look at Jake. He stood there, a little uncomfortably, before glancing at Hamilton. Hamilton shrugged, and Jake, after glancing at Lena again, got in the front seat, next to Hamilton. He ignored the urge to shoot Lena a triumphant look, and instead just concentrated on arriving home in one piece. It was so hard so concentrate with Jake sitting beside him.
Jake, who had fallen asleep again, slouched against the window. Hamilton smiled and drove on.
------
Jake didn't see Hamilton until their "movie-date" in the evening. She figured it would be better to just show him she wasn't interested in Lena, rather than just tell him.
A little more than half an hour before the movie was due to start, she headed out to the lawn, where she was meeting Hamilton and Lena.
"Hey," she said. Hamilton only nodded at her, but Lena gave her a radiant smile.
Hamilton didn't seem too excited. "I thought we'd take my parents' car. They said it's okay" he told them.
Three people in one car? Talk about awkward. "Does it have an open roof?" She asked.
"No," Hamilton answered. "But we can get lawn chairs there. It more comfortable than watching the movie from a car anyway, even if it defeats the purpose of a drive in".
"That it does," She laughed. Chairs would be more comfortable, seeing as there were three of them and only two front seats in the car. "Okay, chairs it is" she decided. "Where's your car?"
"This way," Hamilton said shortly and started towards it. She and Lena exchanged looks and followed. She hoped he wasn't going to act like this all through the movie.
When they got to the car she and Lena hesitated. "You sit in the front," Jake said. Maybe it would give Hamilton a chance to talk to her. When Lena seemed about to protest, she added "I find cars so confining, I want to be able to stretch my legs a bit". Lena smiled and agreed, getting in next to Hamilton.
Jake got in the back and, true to her statement, stretched across the back seat. It was actually rather comfortable, and the constant rocking of the car was making her rather drowsy…
She woke up with a start as Hamilton parked the car. They had arrived.
She got out and stretched, cramped a little from the ride. "Had a nice nap?" Lena asked, and Jake blushed a little. "Yeah" she answered.
"The chairs are this way," Hamilton announced, He obviously didn't talk much to Lena on the way, since he was still in a bad mood.
They carried their chairs over to a spot with a nice view, and put them down. Jake sat on one end, thinking Hamilton could sit in the middle, but Lena beat him to it and sat next to her, leaving Hamilton to take the other end. She sighed. This was getting old.
They watched the movie in a heavy silence. The movie was rather nice actually, but she found it hard to concentrate because she could feel both Lena and Hamilton looking at her the whole time. She frowned. Instead of glaring at her, why wasn't Hamilton trying to talk to Lena?
"This movie's so romantic," Lena said suddenly, turning to her. Jake stared at her. What was her notion of romance, exactly? "It's creepy, she's a witch" she answered, adding in her mind, this is creepy, too.
"No," Lena gave her a look. Jake knew that look. It meant 'I think you're so cute', and was usually followed by the 'want to kiss me?' look. She backed away slightly, just in case. "I mean," Lena continued "two people fall for each other under the worst possible circumstances, and they go for it".
That remark made her think of Hamilton. Only they, of course, would never work out.
"Oh look," Hamilton said loudly "full moon". He was so not subtle.
She looked up and smiled. It was beautiful. "Oh yeah, look at that!"
"Actually, it's a full moon tomorrow night" Lena announced, raising her eyebrow.
Jake shot her a look. Okay, so she wasn't interested in Hamilton, but did she have to be so mean?
Hamilton must've thought the same, because she heard him say "thanks for the update" in a low voice.
She couldn't take this anymore. Maybe if she gave them a little time alone they would sort it out. "I'm gonna go and get some jujubes" she announced, getting up.
She took her time walking to the snack bar, pausing when she spotted Bella in her truck with an extremely cute blond guy. "Go Bella," she whispered, impressed, and decided to go over to say hello.
"Hey," she said as she got close, stopping next to Bella's side.
"Jake!" Bella smiled at her; she looked happy. Jake glanced approvingly at the blonde; he was obviously doing something right. He gave her a confused look back.
"I just came over to make sure your date was going okay, but I can see I'm not needed," she joked, and Bella laughed. "Jake, this is Sean. Sean, Jake," she introduced them.
Jake held out a hand "I heard about you," she told him. He smiled and shook her hand "I hope it was only good things," he said.
"Oh, I don't think you have to worry," she smiled back, shooting Bella an 'he's cute!' look. Bella beamed.
"So, Jake, are you here with someone?" Sean asked. Bella gasped "oh, that's right! How's your awkward little triangle going?"
Jake laughed "awkward. Hamilton is desperately trying to get Lena's attention, Lena's desperately trying to get my attention, and I'm desperately trying to convey to the both of them that I'm not interested. Neither of them is getting it, though, so I thought I'd better give them some time alone".
"Oh, the ongoing drama of being Jake Pratt," Bella giggled at her description "maybe you should write a book. I'm sure it would be very interesting," she added suggestively.
"Yeah," Jake said dryly. "Maybe I could turn it into a movie and get my mom to act in it; that's should be a hint I exist".
She saw Bella's smile disappear, and even Sean, who was looking at them with amused bewilderment, seemed to sober.
"Here I go again, with the dramas in my life," she said quickly "anyway, I was on my way to get some snacks so I'll just leave you two lovebirds alone," she winked at Bella.
Bella smiled back, but gave her a look that promised further discussion. "Bye," she said.
"It was nice to meet you," Sean joined in "good luck with your little love triangle".
She laughed shortly "thanks, I'll definitely need it".
She finally arrived at the snack bar, only to find out they were out of candy. "Oh, well," she muttered "at least I gave them some time to work it out".
When she got back, though, she discovered she was a little too optimistic; Lena now sat in Jake's chair, leaving the chair between her and Hamilton empty. They were both sporting identical dark expressions. What did I miss, she thought in disgust, before saying "they were out".
She stared at them. There was no way either of them was going to move; she'll just have to sit in between them. Wonderful.
The rest of the movie was spent in an oppressive silence, with Lena and Hamilton exchanging hostile looks over her head. At least neither of them tried to talk to her.
They didn't talk during the walk back to the car, either. Lena got into the back, looking at Jake in hope. She glanced at Hamilton, but he only shrugged. Obviously, he had given up on Lena. She got in next to Hamilton.
She must have fallen asleep again, because the next thing she knew, Hamilton was leaning over her and shaking her awake gently. "Wake up, we're here," he told her.
She got out of the car, groggy. "Thanks, tonight was nice," she said, yawning "I'd better get back. I'll see you tomorrow".
He nodded and she turned around and walked back to the school, half asleep and trying not to trip over anything in the dark. She undressed and got into bed quickly, and was asleep before her head even hit the pillow.
------
Lena got out as soon as Hamilton finished parking the car, offering a curt "goodbye" before disappearing. Hamilton unbuckled his seatbelt and turned to look at Jake, who was still asleep.
The other boy was folded into himself, head leaning on the window; he looked very young, sleeping, long dark lashes sweeping over his cheeks, mouth in a petulant pout. Hamilton wanted to kiss him or brush his hair over his face. Instead, he shook him awake gently. "Wake up, we're here," he said quietly.
Jake stirred, his lashes fluttering, and then his eyes half-opened; they were green and drowsy and confused, and for once completely unguarded; Hamilton's breath caught in his throat. He found himself wondering what it would be like to wake up next to him.
Jake mumbled and sat up, and Hamilton leaned back, the spell broken, as the other boy got out of the car, almost falling over.
"Thanks, tonight was nice," he murmured, yawning, and covered his mouth; his hair was sticking up over one ear. It was adorable. Hamilton wouldn't exactly describe tonight as nice, but Jake was more than worth it.
"I'd better get back. I'll see you tomorrow" Jake continued, before proceeding to stumble his was up to the school. Hamilton hoped he wouldn't trip and fall over something.
He got inside his house and locked the door after him, before taking a long shower. He had a lot to think about.
He had finally accepted that he had feelings for Jake. It took him some time, and it wasn't easy, at all, but a last he saw it was true. He wanted Jake – physically, he was attracted to him – but more than that, he enjoyed him, as a friend. He was actually quickly becoming the best friend Hamilton had ever had, and that wasn't worth risking.
So maybe those feeling would go away, maybe they won't, he didn't know; but he wasn't going to do a thing about them, and he wasn't going to tell anyone, certainly not Jake. And that was just the way things had to be.
He went to bed calmer than he had been in a long time.
-------
The next day, Jake wandered around the lawn, looking for Hamilton. She wanted to make sure they were okay, what with the whole Lena thing.
She saw Hamilton come her way and smiled; he smiled back, so she guessed they were okay.
"Hey," he said, stopping before her.
"Hey," she answered.
"Okay, you win," he told her, shrugging.
"I win what?" she asked, puzzled. Did he enter her in some lottery or something?
He frowned at her "Lena," he answered, as though it should've been obvious.
She burst out laughing "oh, yeah, I won Lena? What, does she come with a trip to Hawaii?" she wasn't even aware they were in a contest. She was just trying to help Hamilton get the girl he wanted. He obviously didn't want her anymore, though, because he seemed surprisingly indifferent about it. A tension she wasn't even aware of suddenly disappeared, leaving her light and happy.
"You know what I mean" Hamilton rolled his eyes. "She likes you. Not that I really care" he added. She thought she saw something flicker for a minute in his otherwise indifferent expression, but it was gone so fast she had obviously imagined it.
"No, it's just a chemistry thing" she assured him. "You know, something you can't control, just some people click". Like you and me.
He seemed uneasy for the first time since the start of their conversation "yeah," he said.
"Look, I'm sure you've clicked with plenty of babes" she continued. She didn't really understand how Lena didn't want him, she was obviously crazy. He was like a modern Adonis.
"Do you like her?" he asked, looking at her seriously.
"Oh, I don't know," she frowned. He seemed perplexed, so she added "I mean, she's hot, right?"
Hamilton narrowed his eyes "wait a minute, you think she's hot" he stated.
Jake gave him a disbelieving look. She wanted to scream. He wasn't still hung about that kiss, was he? "Don't you?' she asked slowly. Wasn't this the whole root of his recent animosity?
Hamilton shook his head "look, whatever happens, I'm cool with it" he told her, his expression flat.
He didn't look cool. She looked at him, narrowing her eyes "really?"
"You're a guy, she likes you, go for it" Hamilton stated, before turning and walking away.
She stared after him, before rolling her eyes skywards and muttering "what isn't wrong with this picture".
She couldn't understand guys at all. And they say we are the difficult ones…
She spent the next hour in her room, surfing the net, not really concentrating on anything. A knock on the door startled her, and she turned to face it, calling "yeah".
Lena poked her head in, and Jake sighed inwardly. She needed to get this over with, and now. "Hey Jake," Lena smiled "can I come in?"
Um, yeah, sure" she said, and Lena entered, closing the door after her. "So…" she started.
"So," Lena echoed.
"So I thought you were leaving for the airport by now," Jake blurted the first thing that came to mind.
"Yeah," Lena nodded "I just wanted to come by and tell you that I had a really good time last night," she moved closer. Jake frowned and took a little step back while Lena continued "and say thanks, and that I'm transferring to Rawley Girls".
"Well, you're welcome and that's great" she said brightly. Great that I won't be here. God, this is the most awkward I have ever felt!
I just I think we really connected" Lena moved even closer "and that since I'm gonna be at Rawley, you'll remember me".
"Oh, I, uh, I will" Jake assured her. I don't think I will ever forget you, even with extensive therapy. Why did I even start this in the first place!? She took another step back, but it was no use.
"Because I think you're really cool," Lena said earnestly.
Jake didn't want to hurt her feelings. It wasn't her fault Jake was totally crazy. "I think you're cool too" she answered.
"And I hope that we can hang out again or something" Lena finished, before leaning in and trying to kiss her.
Jake jumped back a mile, almost falling over. Correction – this is the most awkward I have ever felt. Ever.
"Oh, um, Lena, this isn't gonna work" she said frantically. Lena's expression crumbled, and she added quickly "oh, ah, that's not what I mean. This isn't you at all, see-"
Lena gave her the 'I can't believe you're going to give me the it's not you it's me speech' look, shaking her head and turning away. Jake caught her hand.
"No, no, you're beautiful and I would be on you in a second if you walked through that door," Jake stammered, thinking hurriedly "but I'm in love with someone and it just wouldn't be right. I hope you understand, and I hope you know how deeply impressed I am that you had the courage to do this, because I sure wouldn't". She finished, looking at Lena a little anxiously.
Lena's face softened, and she sighed "I should have listened to Hamilton. He said this was a bad idea".
Jake stared at her "he did?" They talked about this? No wonder he was so pissed off last night.
"Yeah, I think he was jealous," Lena admitted.
You think? Was what Jake wanted to say. Instead she only said "I guess he likes you".
Lena gave her a strange smile "no," she said, turning to leave, before throwing over her shoulder "I think he likes you".
Jake gaped after her for a minute before rushing after her into the hall. "What?" she yelled after her, but Lena only waved and continued walking.
Meanwhile, the boys that were in the hall when Lena walked out starting smirking and cat-calling. "Oh yeah, yeah, way to go man" one said.
She plastered on a fake smirk and did a little 'who's the man' move with her hand. Inside, she was still completely in shock over Lena's parting comment. It could not be true.
"What's going on?" she heard Hamilton's voice and spun around quickly. Shit!
"Jake had that hot Cali chick in his room," someone informed Hamilton.
She winced at his expression. He was so not cool with it. "It's not what it looks like!" she said urgently.
Hamilton narrowed his eyes "yeah, right". He walked away without saying anything else, leaving her staring after him.
She groaned. Everything was such a mess.
-----
In the morning, Hamilton went out to look for Jake. He wanted to get this Lena thing over with and go back to their easy friendship, as easy as it could be at least. He spotted Jake coming his way and smiled "hey".
Jake smiled sweetly back, awakening the butterflies that were now permanent residents in Hamilton's stomach. "Hey," he answered.
"Okay, you win," Hamilton said.
Jake seemed confused "I win what?"
"Lena," Hamilton answered. He knew Jake had ignored her because he thought Hamilton wanted her, but things have changed, and he wanted Jake to know that it was okay with him.
Jake burst out laughing "oh, yeah, I won Lena? What, does she come with a trip to Hawaii?" he was obviously not taking this as seriously as Hamilton was.
"You know what I mean," Hamilton said, getting a little annoyed. Did Jake really want her, or was it all just a game to him? "She likes you. Not that I really care" he added, wanting to assure Jake, in case his worry over hurting Hamilton was why he was so flippant.
"No, it's just a chemistry thing" Jake said quickly. Great, now he was trying to fix Hamilton's supposedly bruised ego. "You know, something you can't control, just some people click" he made an illustrating gesture with his hands.
You're telling me, Hamilton thought uncomfortably, watching the movement of Jake's delicate hands. "Yeah".
"Look, I'm sure you've clicked with plenty of babes" Jake continued, still convinced Hamilton was apparently distraught. Or maybe he was just getting tired of Hamilton being angry at him all the time. Well, whatever his reason was, he needn't worry about that anymore, at least.
"Do you like her?" he asked quietly, almost fearing the answer. He wanted Jake to say no, yet he knew it would be best for him if Jake did. It would make accepting things easier.
"Oh, I don't know," Jake said. Hamilton stared at him. What was it all about, then, if Jake didn't really like her? Did he just enjoy the attention? "I mean, she's hot, right?" Jake added, shrugging.
"Wait a minute, you think she's hot" Hamilton said flatly. So that clinched it. That kiss on the roof was just that – a sketchy moment. He really had no chance whatsoever with Jake. He wasn't sure if he even wanted one.
Jake raised an eyebrow, frowning at Hamilton "don't you?" he didn't add 'wasn't that what this was all about?' but it was obvious that's what he was thinking.
Hamilton shook himself out of it "look, whatever happens, I'm cool with it" he finished, finally saying what he came to say.
Jake gave him a calculating look "really?" he asked, clearly not believing him.
"You're a guy, she likes you, go for it" Hamilton shrugged and turned to walk away. He wasn't, but not for the reason Jake thought. And nor was he ever going to know the real reason.
A thought crossed his mind and he brightened. Lena was going back to LA today anyway, wasn't she? He'd never been as happy to see someone leave.
He spent the next hour walking the dogs with his mom, bouncing a few new photography ideas off her. He loved his mom; he considered himself lucky, that they were as close as they were, especially considering how some parents here treated their children.
Speaking of Jake… Hamilton never really got to go on that bike ride. Maybe he should go and ask him now.
He hurried to Jake's room, feeling happier than he had in a long time. His smile turned into a frown as he neared Jake's room, though; he could hear cat-calls and whistles coming from the hallway.
As he entered the hallway he saw Jake, facing the other way and obviously very satisfied with himself, surrounded with jeering boys.
"What's going on?" he asked, and Jake spun around quickly, looking at Hamilton with fearful, wide eyes.
"Jake had that hot Cali chick in his room," someone leered, obviously referring to Lena; he didn't look over to see who it was.
"It's not what it looks like!" Jake said urgently; he obviously mistook Hamilton's angry expression to mean he wasn't okay with it, even though Hamilton practically shoved him into her arms. Damn, but he moved fast.
Hamilton wasn't okay with it, even if it wasn't because of Lena. He was so not okay with it he wanted to punch someone.
"Yeah, right," he bit out, not looking at Jake; he couldn't look at him, couldn't see that betrayed expression, because he was the one feeling betrayed, and he had no right, no right at all.
His eyes prickled; he turned around and hurried out of there. He couldn't bear to be near Jake now, not when he knew he was just with Lena.
You're so stupid, Hamilton, he berated himself as he almost ran to his house. So, so stupid!