I felt kinda bad writing this. But in a good way! Really!

Katara tossed and turned. She twisted and bent into so many different positions in her attempt to get comfortable. But she couldn't do it. She was too cold with the warm blankets gone, and it was so stuffy and sweaty under the clinging feel of fur on her skin. More than once she sat up and held her head in her hands and bent herself a drink of water from the pool the tribe had set up in her room. Of course, that meant she had to relieve herself half an hour or so later, but it was more an excuse to get out of her lonely bed than anything else.

The walk to the bathroom across the cold wooden floor was a relief. Katara didn't like sleeping alone, even during peacetime, and walking around made her feel better than during the hours of insomnia. She brushed her fingers over the icy walls of the hallway in her home at the South Pole.

After the war ended, efforts were made to rebuild the Southern Tribe and their once magnificent city. Water benders and warriors from the Northern Tribe came to aid their sister tribe, and many of them had stayed to raise families. Already permanent buildings had been made, a step up from the temporary igloos and tents. Her house was located near the site where the main lodge would be built.

Bending water from a pool in her bathroom, Katara splashed her face. The water was warm, and tempted Katara to bathe. Sighing, she bent the warm water into the basin and stripped. Katara sank into the warm water, immediately happy with her decision. Humming contentedly, she floated, completely enveloped in warmth. The South Pole was colder than she remembered it being―probably because of all the time spent away from it, and the distinct absence of the blue and white of water and ice.

Other colors dominated the places she had been on their journey―red, green, brown, yellow. Lots of red in the Fire Nation, as well as orange, and black, and gold. Red reminded her too much of wartime, or a feared enemy. Orange reminded her too much of fires that burned with malicious intent. Black reminded her too much of the iron ships the fires came in, of impending doom. Gold reminded her too much of golden eyes she still missed waking to see.

Sitting up with a splash, Katara pounded her fists against her temples in a futile attempt to banish the memories from her mind. Her arms slid and fell with a splash back into the water. Drawing her legs up, she rested her chin on her knees and touched her fingers to her lips in remembrance of a phantom sensation, the ghost of a smile she had fallen in love with.

She drained the water in the basin after drying off, brushed out her hair, and redressed for bed. She felt a little better after washing off the sweat and the tears she hadn't noticed were there before. Climbing back into bed, Katara pulled the furs up to her chin, and sighed contentedly when they weren't too hot, though she couldn't help but feel they were a little too cold. Nothing would ever be warm enough again.

Upon waking, Katara shivered, like she did every morning after. Peering through lidded eyes, she started at darkness. She had forgotten, that at the poles, there was no sunrise during the winter. In the Fire Nation, the sun seemed to come up just a little earlier than everywhere else, and she had grown used to the light it brought even in the winter time. Getting up, she quickly padded across icy floors to prepare for her day.

Sitting down at her writing desk after dressing, Katara began the task she started and never finished every day since she came back to the South Pole.

Dear

She hesitated then crossed it out.

Dear

Zuko,

Hey, it's Katara. I'm just writing to ask you how you've been. It's been a while since I last saw you―a year or so, give or take. I miss you.

How is Mai? Is she doing well? Have you two gotten married, or are you still―

Katara stopped and closed her eyes. Gold flooded her inner vision and she snapped them back open. She continued writing.

Or are you still taking it slow? I wish I could be there. I've always hated not knowing things, I'm sure you remember. But I should get to the point of this letter―we both know that I would rather never know if you and Mai were married. We both know that I'd rather be the one there by your side, I'd rather be there than her.

There are some things I never told you. Back in the Fire Nation, when it happened, there are things I should have said, but didn't, and I am so stupid for holding those words in. I miss you so much, so much that sometimes it hurts walking outside and knowing that no matter how many layers I wear, I'll never be as warm as I was with you. So much that I can hardly sleep at night because when I try to fall asleep, my feet are too cold, and my arms are too warm, and my chest is too heavy.

But I still can't believe that still want you, even after all this time has passed. I should be over this, right? I should be moving on, right? But to tell the truth, I don't know if I can. I don't want to sound clingy, or creepy, or weird, but I feel so weird right now. Even after all we've been through―before and after the war. There were all the times you chased us, all the times we spoke one-on-one when I still considered you the enemy. The time you betrayed us. All the time you spent trying to repair the broken bond.

And the times after, when I was at the Fire Palace...with you. I can still remember the look on your face when I...

She trailed off. She had kissed him one day, in the Fire Palace gardens. The turtle-ducks were milling about the pond on that muggy summer's day, and she and Zuko were sitting at the base of the tree, wearing informal attire, similar to what they had worn when they had been in hiding. She didn't know where it came from. She had just felt the random desire to kiss him full on the mouth, and she hadn't really been thinking very well that day anyway. Summer was much warmer in the Fire Nation than in the South Pole, and she had yet to adapt to it, so she just acted on it.

When I...anyway. I miss that time. And when I was called back to rebuild the South Pole, there were things I should have said, and things that were said that I shouldn't have. The thing is, Zuko...I love you. I have for a while. I should have said it before I left, if only so you could know, but now it's too late, and you're married, and I'll never see you ag―

Drip, drip.

Katara's grip tightened so hard her knuckles grew white and her nails bit into the skin of her palm, and tears fell from her wide eyes and onto the parchment. She felt the pain but didn't make any move to stop when the blood welled up on her hand and in her bottom lip, the taste of it in her mouth. She had gone farther than usual. She usually only got to the part when she told him about the broken bond, and how it had reformed so well, that now it went deeper than trust, and wouldn't let her go. Katara supposed that it meant it was getting easier, and eventually she would move on.

Katara put the paper away for what felt like the thousandth time, with the rest of the incomplete letters in a packed drawer. She left the dark bedroom, blowing out the flickering candle, and climbed into the bath. She enjoyed the scant moment of peace and happiness wrapped in the arms of warm water and memories.

Song: I Never Told You by Colbie Caillat

Disclaimer: I do not own A:TLA or the song this fiction was based off of.

Yeah. I had to write this after hearing the song on the radio for the first time. When I listened to the lyrics, I was all "OMG, I could totally write this as a Zutara ficlet! YAY"

So I did. I must say, I am quite happy with the outcome. You guys gotta let me know how the ending is, considering how it does end. You know how you can do that? Through a super special awesome review! Sorry if there was any puzzlement at the new chapter! Never mind! I accidentally posted the ficlet without any of this stuff down here at the bottom or that stuff up there at the top. The author's notes. Yeah. But now it is here! Thanks for reading (if you did)! Please Review!