Chapter 10

At AJ's inquiring tilt of his head, she slowly continued, "He was the one that saw to it that the letter of reprimand got into John Farrow's permanent file, but I didn't know if he was aware that I had been the one involved with John. At first he didn't say one way or the other if he did. I was walking around on eggshells for days and avoiding him as much as possible. Then he let a few things drop that suggested he did know…" she paused for a long breath because she knew that she had been rambling, trying to avoid getting to what he really wanted and had a right to know. "We finally got it all resolved after Thanksgiving, but it had made for very miserable working conditions before it got cleared up and a lot of that was what Chloe was picking up on when she came for her visit."

"That still doesn't explain about the kiss or the dying story, Sarah."

"No, it doesn't. Believe me I am going to get to that, it's just that it's so embarrassing…" With a gulp she went on, "Chloe was bugging me all that weekend to tell her what was bothering me, and no one can bug you better than a determined teenager! Honestly, I didn't know if it was because I didn't want to answer her, or couldn't. I didn't want to spoil our time together griping about how things were going at the office and as for the rest, well I don't think I had really analyzed the underlying cause of my unhappiness. But she just kept on and on and ON, until finally, just before I was going to take her to the train station on Sunday night she came up with this 'dying wish' question. I found myself blurting out the first thing that came into my head, just to get her to stop!"

"I see. So this was all just something you made up to get Chloe to stop pestering you?" he asked solemnly.

"No!" she exclaimed, and then in the same instant realized that she could have brushed this all under the rug if she had only agreed. But now that the cat was out of the bag, there was no way to take it back, and ultimately she was a person that valued the truth. Plus, he had come all this way to fulfill what he had thought was her last wish, so he did deserve the truth.

"The dying part was all something Chloe made up and you can be sure that I will find a way to make her pay for it. I know it must look like I was somehow involved in it too because here I am in this hospital, but it was just a really weird coincidence. Yesterday I was just out driving and wasn't paying attention as I should have been. I looked down to change the station on the radio. When I looked up again, I missed the curve and ran into a tree. I'm okay though! But I passed out, so they want to keep me for twenty four hours for observation."

"And the kiss?" he prompted gently.

"It was wonderful…oh, that's not what you meant, was it?" She hung her head for a moment, missing his grin, before starting to speak again, "I meant what I said to her about the kiss. One of the biggest regrets in my life was that you stopped before you kissed me that night at your party. It left me wondering all these years what it would have been like."

"So it was simply curiosity?"

"No. I might as well tell you all of it since I've come this far. I was attracted to you from the start, but after what had happened with John I tried to convince myself that maybe I had a thing for authority figures. My father wasn't the best one in the world, as you know. But I never saw John or you as a father figure. Please believe that if nothing else! Anyway, I brought that seal pup picture I have in my office to remind me that you were off limits and I tried to get involved with someone else. There was Dalton, Brumby, and Clay. Although I came close to marriage with Mic, I just couldn't take that final step. The problem was that none of them were you. You were the only one I could picture myself with for the long term…" she finally fell silent after almost whispering the last comment.

"Sarah, there have been enough misunderstandings over this and I just want to make sure I don't have my signals crossed. Are you saying that you…have feelings for me?"

With her gaze lowered so she didn't have to witness the pity in his eyes, she said, "If you mean by 'have feelings for you', am I totally, hopelessly, irrevocably in love with you, then yes, I am."

To be continued…..