His hot breath against her ear tickled. "Akane," he whispered.
Her own voice was lost, lodged somewhere in her throat. Akane found herself pressed up against the wall, Ranma's body against her own. She gave soft gasps as he left a trail of kisses against her neck. Her eyes were closed in pleasure; her hands grabbed fistfuls of his hair and shirt. Ranma's own hands were flat against the wall, next to Akane's head, though as to steady himself. She curled her toes in anticipation. Akane hurriedly began to untie the knot at the waist of Ranma's pants, when she heard the door creak open.
The two froze in position: Akane's fingers tangled with the string, Ranma panting heavily on her neck. She noticed that Ranma's hands somehow traveled to both sides of her hips. He straightened up, allowing Akane to see who committed the crime of interrupting them. "Mom," Ranma said.
Akane instantly felt her cheeks grow warm at the sight of Nodoka. She always felt so underdressed around the always kimono-clad woman. It didn't help matters that Nodoka's only child was in the process of removing her thin cotton skirt. One tug and it would come right off.
"Auntie," Akane began.
"Ah ah ah!" Nodoka wagged her finger, bright smile on her face. "It's Mother now, remember?"
Akane let go of Ranma's pant strings and slapped his hands away. "R-Right," Akane managed, "Mother." She started smoothing out the front of her shirt, embarrassed at the fact her mother-in-law wasn't embarrassed. In the corner of her eye, Ranma was just as flustered as she was. It was probably best that they were clothed, though. Being naked and caught was a situation Akane never wanted to encounter.
"Anyway, dears," Nodoka continued cheerfully, obviously happy that she had caught them in the act, "don't mind me. I just wanted to give you a few things before I forget." She dug into the sleeve of her flowered pink kimono and pulled out a pamphlet and a good luck charm shaped like a small tea bag, an omamori. She walked over and handed the charm to Ranma. "It's good luck for fertility," she explained. Akane's eyes widened as Ranma quickly dropped the charm as if it were on fire. He scrambled to catch it before it fell on the ground.
Nodoka turned to Akane and presented the pamphlet. She took it gingerly. The front pictured a drawing of a man and a woman in a very compromising position. At the top displayed the title: Top 10 Ways to Get Pregnant. Any desire to have sex completely died as she leafed through the pamphlet, eyes bulging as the figures did illicit things to each other. Akane especially ogled at #6. How could anyone get pregnant by doing that?
"It's amazing what you can find at the clinic these days," Nodoka said. "It said the most effective number is—"
"Ahhh! Thank you," Akane yelped frantically, "Mother," she added thoughtfully. "I'm sure this will be of good use." Not, she added mentally.
"Oh, good!" Nodoka placed her palms together and just grinned. After a few silent seconds, Nodoka moved towards the exit. "I can't wait!" She paused by the large bed covered in light blue sheets that took up most of the room. "Shame," she murmured. "Your father and I get you a nice bed as a wedding present, and you choose to make love against the wall." With that for Akane and Ranma to ponder, Nodoka left, closing the door behind her.
"First thing tomorrow we're getting a lock," Akane finally said, moving off the wall.
"Well, do you still wanna…" Ranma started, but immediately stopped when Akane whipped around and flashed him the harshest "Are you kidding me?" glare she ever mustered. Walking to the wastebasket, she chucked the pamphlet. Akane then proceeded to the closet to prepare for bed.
Honestly! Akane shook her head, thinking to herself. Could her husband and mother-in-law think of nothing else? What a bunch of perverts.