Disclaimer: All characters originate from the brilliant Stephenie Meyer's Twilight universe, and all songs and lyrics are property of their respective owners. I just can't resist inserting a good song into my stories!!

5.Peeping Toms and Sage Advice

By the time I woke up the next morning, Emmett was already up and gone. It was technically my day off, but I didn't want Mrs. Lancaster to have to wait to hear the results of Ethan's tests. I decided to spend the morning gathering all the information I could to help her out and then go in for the consultation, fully armed to answer any question she might have and give her the best possible references.

As I stood up my head felt like it weighed a ton. I was hot and sticky as though I had tossed and turned all night…which I probably did considering how I felt. The physical and emotional strain from yesterday had not escaped me during my slumber. But I was now determined to forget Assward and the countless ways he hurt me. Instead I would focus on sweet little Ethan and his condition, doing anything and everything I could to help his family.

A shower was an absolute must. Em and I had developed pretty decent relationships with most of our neighbors and I knew that at this time of the day everyone would be gone to work. My first task was to shuffle into the living room, stand in front of the massive stereo system, that only a house full of boys would choose, and decide what I wanted to have for a shower soundtrack since noise would not be a problem. I scanned the CD's that ranged from Emmett's heavy metal to Jasper's country, trying to find something that fit my mood. I knew I was craving angsty angry girl rock so when my eyes fell to the section that held my collection of Pink CD's a wide smile lit my face and suddenly I knew what I wanted to hear.

I jogged back to my room to grab my iPod so that I could just modify my Pink playlist with a few other angry girl songs, the ones I was dying to rock out to. I plugged the wonderful little music machine into the system and cranked the volume.

My head began to bang to the beat. I padded back to my room opting to just grab my underwear for the day. Since I was home alone, I didn't want to expend the effort for formal dressing just yet. I tossed them on the back of the toilet before cranking up the hot water in the shower and hopping in. I lathered my body and my hair as I screamed the lyrics to There You Go, Stupid Girls and U & UR Hand at the top of my lungs before stepping out, drying off and throwing on my underwear. I began to comb my hair as I sang along to Most girls and then I froze as I listened to the chorus and I felt an angry tear begin to pool at the corner of my eye as I began to sing along loudly at my face in the mirror.

Most girls want a man with the bling-bling
Got my own thing, got the ching-ching
I just want real love
Most girls want a man with the mean green
Don't wanna dance if he can't be
Everything that I dream up
A man that understands real love

I was suddenly struck by the honest truth of those lyrics. I was angry and confused by all of the messed up feelings I was having toward Edward, but that was what it all really boiled down to. I wanted a man that could understand and actually participate in a relationship based on real true love and that quite simply wasn't Edward. He knew how to be a friend, a SWAT brother, a son, a nephew, a lover, but he didn't have any comprehension whatsoever on what it meant to be in real true love.

I took a deep breath as the reality of the whole ridiculous situation hit me. I wouldn't be mad at a dog for taking a nice juicy steak that was sitting out on the ground, just waiting to be eaten. Why should I be mad at Edward for partaking in a piece of ass that was right there begging for it? It's in his very nature; it is who he is…he IS Slutward. Our kiss obviously meant nothing at all.

The only person I should be mad at is me for letting myself get emotionally tied up when I knew better. I knew Edward better than that and I knew the type of guy he was when it came to relationships. Hell, to Edward sharing a kiss like we had is tantamount to a freaking handshake; it never would have occurred to him it meant anything important to me. But then again, if he didn't know it meant anything, why would he be avoiding me? He wouldn't…

I continued to rationalize with myself trying to find a way to make the pain subside, but no matter how much solid rationalization I came up with, it still hurt like hell deep down in my chest. I growled at myself for letting my mind get wrapped up in him again and reached for my blow dryer flicking it on and letting my hair blow haphazardly around me.

Thankfully the song soon changed and I snarled at my reflection in the mirror as the perfect song began to play, one that really reflected how I was feeling right now. The thing I was most mad at Edward for was the mixed signals and his avoidance. One minute he was my best friend, the next he kisses me, and then he pretends I don't exist…so I found myself shaking my hips to the beat as I sang along with Katy Perry's Hot 'N Cold at the top of my lungs, getting lost in the song and my frustrations with the ridiculous man who inevitably found a way to hurt me every time I turned around.

EPOV

After moping around my apartment all morning, I called Emmett about the time he would be heading into the station begging for intel on Bella. He didn't have much information to help me except that he was gone and it was Bella's day off so she would be home most of the morning. I had no fucking clue what I would ultimately say or do, but I knew that showing up with something to make her happy would definitely be a good start.

I grabbed a quick shower and threw on a nice shirt, a decent pair of jeans and put my best effort in trying to tame my hair. It was all done with the foolish hope that looking as if I were putting forth an effort physically would help my case somehow. I sighed at the dark circles under my eyes, a sign of my long restless nights and grabbed my keys before walking out the door.

I made my way toward Bella's apartment going a block out of my way to stop at Starbucks to buy her a Venti White Chocolate Cappuccino with an extra shot of syrup and whipped cream, next stop was her favorite bakery to pick up an assortment of her favorite pastries, hoping that a peace offering would at least get my foot in the door. In a split second move I stopped off in the florist two doors down from her building and bought a bouquet of multicolored daisies wrapped in red cellophane as one last out of the ordinary gesture.

I got to her building and used my key to get in the main door. I groaned when I heard the whiney girl rock of Pink blaring from behind the apartment door, knowing that she was still annoyed and in her angsty singing mode. I knocked on the door, but I realized right away that she couldn't possibly hear me over the ridiculously loud tune of Most Girls so I used my key to let myself in. I figured that I'm already in the shithouse and will be screamed at anyway, so I might as well add fuel to the fire.

I yelled as soon as the door was opened but there was no response. I could faintly make out the sound of her hairdryer coming from the end of the hallway. The music changed but before I could use the silence to my advantage to warn her I was here the annoying beat of a new song started. I rolled my eyes at the lyrics knowing it definitely fit the angsty girl rock genre for her mood today.

You change your mind

Like a girl changes clothes

Yeah you, PMS

Like a bitch

I would know

And you always think

Always speak

Crypticly

I should know

That you're no good for me

I cringed as I leaned around the corner expecting the screaming to start and I froze as I watched the most amazing thing I had ever seen in my life. Bella was singing the lyrics as she dried her hair with the blow dryer, dressed in a matching blue cotton bra and panty set. She danced around swaying her hips to the beat.

Self-preservation dictated that I should close my eyes and bolt before she turned around and saw me, but my voyeuristic alter ego wouldn't let my feet listen to my screaming instincts. My eyes were glued to her tight ass as she whipped it quickly from side to side. I felt my pants tighten as I steadily grew harder the longer I watched. I could feel my brain screaming NO,NO,NO, FUCK you shouldn't be seeing this! You have a hard enough time keeping your mind right around her as it is much less seeing her do this…holy shit…so fucking sexy! Seriously the sexiest thing I've ever fucking seen! NO!

Cause you're hot then you're cold

You're yes then you're no

You're in and you're out

You're up and you're down

You're wrong when it's right

It's black and it's white

We fight, we break up

We kiss, we make up

You, You don't really want to stay, no

You, but you don't really want to go-o

You're hot then you're cold

You're yes then you're no

You're in and you're out

You're up and you're down

I stood there watching, knowing that at any second she was going to sense me standing here and beat the living shit out of me, and damn it, it would be worth every fucking second of pain. I knew she was pretty. I knew she was smart as fuck. I knew she was amazing and deserved the best of everything in life. But damn, how the fuck did I miss that she was this sexy?

She started to turn my way and I ducked back around the corner when the second verse started and I tried to catch my breath and figure out what the hell I was going to do. After a few seconds I chanced another peek just in time for the tempo to change and she turned a little bit revealing the profile of one of her perky breasts. I gulped and began to hyperventilate at the sight, and then I heard her voice above the music as she sang the bridge with passion and I could hear the pain in her voice.

Someone call the doctor

Got a case of a love bi-polar

Stuck on a roller coaster

Can't get off this ride

You change your mind

Like a girl changes clothes

I turned and walked out the door as quickly as my feet would take me. I had to get out of there. I leaned against the wall of the hallway right outside her door and fought to catch my breath as I listened to the lyrics.

They were actually quite perfect for someone trying to sort out their feelings about the way I treated Bella lately. I had been running hot and cold with her. I was so confused about her, the feelings that fucked with me when I thought about her, the black hole in my chest that felt like it was going to suck my fucking heart right out the back of my spine, the fact that I knew her so well and knew for a fact that I could never be good enough for her. I would keep her at arms length only to pull her close when I felt compelled to comfort her or take care of her and the next minute I'd hold her away from me again.

I pushed myself off the wall and walked away from the apartment as the song changed; a new Pink song began to echo behind me. I knew that nothing I could say today, even if I knew what to say, would be right. Between hearing her voice and seeing her dressed, or should I say undressed, in that way, dancing in such an fucking alluring way there was no way I could talk to her this morning.

First of all the raging hard on that refused to go away was going to be difficult to explain.

Secondly I was going to need something much better than a few pastries and some fucking Starbucks to even begin to fix this.

And most importantly of all, I couldn't form a solid thought if my life depended on it in that moment. I walked into that apartment thinking that I knew exactly what sexy was only to have every preconception I had ever dreamed of blown out of the water in a nanosecond. I mean she wasn't even wearing a thong or anything lacy or even slightly Victoria Secret like, just plain dark blue cotton bikini cut underwear with a matching cotton bra and yet she was the most fucking unbelievable thing I had ever seen. Bella was the whole fucking package, everything a guy could ever want, and I was the fucktard that kept messing with her head.

I walked out onto the street throwing the flowers, coffee, and pastries into the garbage can at the corner and walked straight toward the hospital. I needed to talk to somebody to get my head on straight and the only two people I could possibly think of would be either Andy or Jasper, at least I knew for sure where to find Andy.

BPOV

After my hair was dry, I dressed in a nice pair of pants and a dress shirt figuring that since I was going in on my day off I needed to look professional but didn't have to wear my scrubs. I walked into the living room to turn down the stereo and prepare myself for research for the Lancaster consult later in the day. I was immediately struck with what I could swear was the smell of Edward's cologne and coffee. I closed my eyes and groaned, knowing that I was actually breaking into full blown olfactory hallucination. What's next…thinking I see him around every corner? Geesh, I'm losing my ever loving mind!!!

I grabbed my iPod switching gears to some relaxing classical tunes that typically helped me focus on the heavy medical jargon I was about to be wading through and pulling the volume down to a nice background level. I padded over to the bookshelf grabbing the necessary reference books and placing them on the coffee table before grabbing my laptop off the desk in the far corner and getting to work.

Three hours later I had compiled a comprehensive description of the disease in layperson, friendly language and had five pages of websites complete with support groups for Mrs. Lancaster to draw from in her attempts to cope with her son's condition. I also called Carlisle, I mean Dr. Cullen to see if he had any first hand knowledge on the most dependable and capable genetics focused specialists to refer to the Lancasters.

I laughed at my little mental slip hoping that I never make it in a professional setting. The truth of the matter is that it was a bit difficult to refer to Carlisle as Dr. Cullen. Being Edward's uncle, I had known Carlisle ever since I first moved to Chicago and long before I ever entered the medical program or became one of his employees. Carlisle was always a kind and generous man and so supportive of my brother taking me in. I couldn't help but notice how proud he was of Edward for stepping up and helping take responsibility for me.

Ugh! Why does everything in my life always come back to Edward? I mentally screamed to myself as I assembled the materials for Mrs. Lancaster and made my way down the street to the hospital. I was going to be over an hour early which was perfect because it would give me a chance to check in with Andy and hang out – maybe even get my nerves under control before I got the page to meet Mrs. Lancaster and Dr. K.

As the elevator doors opened on the floor Andy now occupied, I was most unfortunate to find myself face to face with Maggie, who gave me an evil sneer. I rolled my eyes and stepped past her, doing my best to ignore her snide little comment that she let slip under her breath. I clenched my fists at my sides and continued to walk down the hallway as I felt my fingernails burrowing crescent shaped indentions into my palm.

I walked into Andy's room to see Edward sitting next to him at the head of the bed. The two were locked in a very serious looking quiet discussion. When I walked into the room Edward looked up surprised and then to my utter shock he blushed. After stuttering a hello he pulled the same shitty move he had pulled for the past two weeks and ducked out of the room.

Good luck buddy, your piece of hospital ass just left a few minutes ago...too bad so sad. I wanted to yell to his retreating back but stopped myself instead choosing to make my way to the seat Edward had just vacated. Andy looked at me strangely too before he noticed my unease and dropped the weirdness.

Visiting with Andy was just what I needed before going down to face the horrible task ahead of me. He actually managed to make me laugh a few times to my pleasant surprise.

Unfortunately the second my pager began to buzz indicating that Mrs. Lancaster had arrived for our meeting I was right back to being tense and nervous. Andy squeezed my hand reassuringly before I left the room to reveal the bad news to the poor frustrated mother of the sweet little five year old that didn't deserve the burden he was about to receive.

I walked into the lobby to meet Mrs. Lancaster's worried and withdrawn face. She was still bitter toward me for not giving her all of the information over the phone last night. I greeted her and asked her to come with me to conference room two, asking the receptionist to direct Dr. K there before leading Mrs. Lancaster in the proper direction.

To my great relief, we met Dr. K on our way to the room and I introduced her to Mrs. Lancaster before we entered the family conference room. Mrs. Lancaster's hands fidgeted in her lap as she sat nervously across from us. Dr. K looked me in the eye and nodded for me to proceed. She was more or less there for moral support and to ensure that I adequately covered all of the vital information and address any questions Mrs. Lancaster might want a more experienced doctor to answer.

I swallowed hard and cleared my throat before beginning. "Thank you for coming today Mrs. Lancaster. I know you were upset that I didn't give you more information last night, but I wanted time to assemble this packet for you, so that you would have instantaneous access to all the information you might need immediately." I slid the manila enveloped stuffed to capacity across the table in front of her and she reached out to place a shaky hand on top of the packet.

"As I told you before, there are various conditions that can lead to a child this young to have brittle bones that are easily broken. I had sent off for the other tests to eliminate the possibilities, but always had a strong suspicion in the back of my mind that was answered with Ethan's DNA profile. Mrs. Lancaster, have you ever heard of a condition called Osteogenesis Imperfecta?"

She furrowed her brow with a slight nod. "I've heard of it, but I don't know much about it."

"The term Osteogenesis Imperfecta literally means imperfectly formed bone. It is a genetic disorder of type 1 collagen--the protein "scaffolding" of bone and other connective tissues. People with OI have a faulty gene that instructs their bodies to make either too little type 1 collagen or poor quality type 1 collagen. The result is bones that break easily. This condition effects about one in every twenty thousand people and has been known to occasionally occur from time to time in families without any prior history of the condition."

She listened with wide eyes and nodded numbly as if in shock as I continued.

"From the research I have found there are basically four types of OI ranging in severity from very mild having occasional breaks to extremely acute casing breaks while performing simple acts like walking across a room. The fact that Ethan has gone this long without diagnosis and seems to only suffer breaks from accidents indicates that he has a milder form of the condition which is very good news."

She looked at me as tears pooled in her eyes.

"I spent the entire morning compiling this packet for you. Inside I have included all of the best information I could find about the condition, several pages with web addresses for various sites that deal with OI and have support groups for patients and loved ones who suffer from OI. I have also compiled a list of physicians who specialize in clinical genetics and have the most experience with Ethan's particular condition. These physicians are some of the best in the country and were highly recommended by our chief of staff, Dr. Carlisle Cullen. If you want to look over the list, maybe make a few calls to your insurance provider to see if there are any restrictions on which you are allowed to see, I'd be happy to call on your behalf to arrange a consultation."

I observed her face as her eyes darted back and forth across the table top as she struggled to absorb all of the information I had just thrown at her in a short amount of time. My heart ached for her and I struggled to swallow back the tears that threatened to fall. I couldn't imagine how difficult it must be to hear that your baby was suffering from a genetic condition that would induce so much pain for the remainder of his lifetime. I imagined too that she was feeling some form of guilt wondering if the faulty gene causing his condition came from her.

"Wh…what will this mean for Ethan?" She asked finally with a shaky voice.

"Well, you will have to speak with someone who specializes in this condition for specific details about Ethan's case, but there are things you can do, treatments he can undergo to help maximize his bone density, activities that he'll need to avoid to minimize risk of injury. His life will be different, but from what I can tell he is lucky to have such a mild case along with a mother who I'm pretty certain will do anything within her power to help him cope."

She smiled at me weakly. "Thank you Dr. Swan. I'm sorry for the way I acted on the phone yesterday. I was upset and frustrated."

I waved her off. "I completely and totally understand Mrs. Lancaster. I would feel the exact same way."

Dr. K looked over at me with a proud expression before reaching her hand forward and placing it on Mrs. Lancaster's hand. "Is there anything else we can do for you at all? Any other questions we can answer?"

"I probably have a million questions, but I assume that you won't have the answers for most. I will go home tonight and go over the information with my husband. We'll call the insurance company and get back with you in a day or two about which physician we choose," she continued looking at me.

I smiled sympathetically. "I also included a sheet in there for you with contact numbers for me, including my personal cell phone number. Please feel free to call me if you have any more questions and go ahead and call that number when you decide who you would like to take Ethan to see and I will personally contact the office if you would like."

"Thank you," she whispered with a tear in her eye as she rose and quietly left the room with the manila envelope clutched tightly in her fist. The second the door closed the tears I had been fighting began to fall. Dr. K leaned over and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"You did great Bella. I'm so proud of you. Of all of my interns you have the most compassionate demeanor and bedside manner. That was a difficult consult, but you handled yourself brilliantly."

I sighed a thank you and took a few more minutes to compose myself after Dr K left before emerging from the conference room. I stopped by the locker room to shed my white lab coat and then proceeded directly across the street to Dooley's to drown my sorrows and hopefully find a compassionate shoulder.

I walked in the door to find the place completely dead, not a single one of my boys in sight. I sighed as I realized that they were probably all with Andy, but I didn't want to go up there right now knowing I'd have to deal with Edward. I smiled when I heard a warm sweet voice behind me.

"Now there's my pretty doctor girl! I've missed you and the boys not being around here lately. How's Andy feeling?"

I spun around to find the kind smiling eyes of Mama Dooley. She leaned against the dark cypress bar, her gray hair in a perfect page boy cut with a pair of dress slacks and a nice top. I giggled in spite of myself because Mama D always looked so out of place in here. Mama D was one of the first people I met outside of my boys when I moved to Chicago. She greeted us with a sweet compassionate smile and a tray of cookies the first day we moved in introducing herself as our neighbor. It took me a long time to reconcile the fact that she was the owner of my boys' favorite liquor establishment, but once I became old enough to spend time in this place with them, I finally began to see how she fit. The look wasn't Mama D, but the feeling of the place was definitely her…warm and inviting.

"Hey Mama D! Andy's doing much better. I think they'll probably release him in the next few days. He got very lucky."

"Well you got that right. If you hadn't been here I really don't think that boy would have made it."

"I'm just glad I was here and it didn't take any longer to get over to the ER."

"Once he's released I fully expect the whole lot of you to reclaim your regular table, you hear?" She tooted smiling and poking me in the shoulder with the tip of a wooden spoon that she had stashed behind the bar. It's there to swat the hands of drunken men when they got overly frisky with her waitresses.

I laughed. "I promise Mama D." It was then that my mind drifted to Edward and I wondered what was going to happen to the group dynamic if we were still in avoidance mode with nowhere to escape. Mama D saw my expression and reached behind her to pour me a glass of rum and coke and slid it in front of me.

"I know that look so spill little one!" I sighed and rolled my eyes before taking a big swig of the darkened amber liquid.

"It's just been a bad month Mama. I don't even know where to begin." She listened as I began to recount my month beginning with my favorite patient and his many breaks, going into my ill fated kiss with Edward and subsequent heartache earning a groan from her plump short frame along with an eye roll, and ending with the consultation I had just endured.

She reached her hand across the bar to lay it over mine with a sigh. "Oh my sweet one, you have had a rough month. But don't you worry, it will all work out in the end…these things always do. You and Edward have been dancing back and forth with each other for as long as I've known you two, and no matter what shit he pulls you guys always end up working in out and regaining your friendship in the end. The boy is a lost little puppy for lack of a better analogy. One day he'll grow up, but until then he's going to piss all over the carpet and give you the puppy dog eyes of apology before doing it all over again. It's just how men are, and in particular your Edward."

I couldn't help but laugh at her puppy imagery. Oh how entirely accurate…pissing all over everything and then coming up to me with those sad green eyes full of remorse as he apologizes once again for being a total duckweed and I melt…every freakin' time.

After the laughter faded I found myself thinking about her words and something struck me…she had referred to Edward as 'your Edward'…and I was sickeningly pleased by the terminology. There was a piece of Edward, however small and rarely visible, that only I was ever allowed to see.

That piece of Edward was the piece that kept me caving in to his apologies and craving another one of those delicious kisses. That was the Edward who kissed me. But that piece of Edward was not the whole package, and it was impossible to be with the piece of Edward that I loved without being hurt by the rest of him.

I tipped my head back draining the last of the run and coke enjoying the warm sensation as it traveled down inside my chest behind my sternum and settled in my stomach. Mama D refilled my drink and turned back to me with a glint in her eye.

"You know sweetie, you need to come here some night with your girlfriends. What do I hear the other staffers call you…the Femmes?" She giggled, "I like that name. It's definitely a good description for you and I'm guessing the rest of your team as well."

I rolled my eyes with a sarcastic 'sure' earning a frown and then another look of devious calculation. "You should bring them over some night and get yourself away from those boys. They take real good care of you, but I think you have a slightly skewed view of yourself sweetie. You sit in here and mope with them and are completely oblivious to the looks you get from all the other men in the room because in mere seconds one of your boys notice them looking and scare them off with a well timed grunt, growl, or evil gaze."

I laughed and shook my head in disbelief. Mama smacked her hand over mine on the bar and then grabbed it tightly, looking in my eyes with total seriousness. "I'm serious Bella. Those boys have been the ultimate cockblockers for years now. They do their best to keep you their innocent little sister, but you deserve better than that. They don't see the damage they've caused your self image in their efforts to keep you safe from…well to be honest, from guys like them! You deserve to be happy though and you deserve to see that you are not as plain and boring as you would like to think you are. Just consider it Bella. A girls night out would be good for you."

I smiled at her and nodded before placing a ten on the counter that she pushed back at me refusing to accept. "Mama, let me pay for my drinks."

"NO way sweet cheeks. It was far too good to see your pretty face in here again to let you pay for the privilege."

I rolled my eyes and sighed, planning on finding a way to sneak it into her tip jar the next night I came in. I bundled up and walked out into the crisp autumn air. I walked about half a block as I thought about what Mama D said. I decided a girl's night out might be just the ticket, so I pulled my cell phone out and dialed the first number I thought of.

"Hey Alice, do you have any plans tonight? What do you think of a Femmes night out? Perfect! You call Krista and Sabrina and see if they're free and I'll see if Rose wants to join us, that is, if you guys don't mind. Awesome! Let's all meet at Dooley's at eight. Okay, see you then!"

I snapped my phone closed and smiled as I rushed my way up the street feeling excited to surround myself with some estrogen related fun for once as opposed to all the male testosterone I had grown accustomed to.

Author's Note: Dirty peeping tom Edward. Tsk Tsk! Okay so since I'm a sucker for inserting songs running in my head in respect to a particular chapter I'm writing and my love for most of Pink's work, I had to include the songs in this chapter. Links to all the mentioned songs will be on my profile if you want to check it out. The FDKK section will be at the very bottom of the bio area.

Also the song Stupid Girls is pretty much the theme song for my version of Bella. She's a strong independent woman who is determined to focus on more important things than her looks and garnering the attention of all the little horndogs of the world. Also as she's singing it she's totally ripping on Maggie and the rest of the hussies Edward has been with in her mind. Oh and the music video totally cracks me up. Pink is stinking hilarious!

And on a very unrelated side note, I totally think find myself thinking that the groom in the Katy Perry video could totally be a pack member. Am I right? I totally see him as a possible older Seth! LOL. If you've read my other stories you would know I'm a big Seth fan, so I couldn't resist mentioning my thought on the matter.

Thanks to my beta sihaya 9 for her thorough and speedy beta work!