Episode 1: A Timely Arrival! Big Trouble in Little Baratie!
[Third Person]
A lone cook was enjoying his break with a quick smoke outside the floating restaurant ship Baratie. The calm reverie was a welcome break from the absolute chaos that was the kitchens during business hours.
He simply enjoyed the calm breeze while taking comfort in the smoke filling his lungs.
Then the sea in front of him exploded, a large geyser of water exploding upwards nearby. The cook's eyes shot wide open at the sudden splash of water that soon came down, trying to find what just did that. It was almost like... something lauched out of the sea. The man could've sworn he saw something large, but he couldn't be sure. It happened so fast.
He was broken out of his shock when something fell down and slammed onto the outer platform of the restaurant with enough force to physically rock the entire ship. The cook stumbled as the ship soon stabilized. He blinked in disbelief.
Someone groaned quite loudly from the lower deck, causing the cook to glance over the second story railing.
Lying flat on their face was an honest to God person. Baggy oddly patterned pants, a grey tank top, sandals and bandages tied around the knuckles and forearms. The person had the most vibrant shoulder-length red hair that the cook had ever seen. They were also completely soaked.
Their groaning sounded miserable.
"Uuuurrgh..." The person slowly pushed themselves up shakily. The cook noted that the person looked kind of young.
"Hey, you okay there, kid?" The cook asked, concerned. What he got as an answer was a bone chillingly furious glare from cold, pale blue eyes.
"The fuck you calling a kid?" The person snarled and winced. They held their stomach as it rumbled ferociously. "Uuuggh..."
"H-hey, you sound hungry!"
"You ability to state the obvious is fantastic!" The person yelled, flashing the cook a toothy snarl. The cook froze in shock and fright.
With a scoff, the person entered the Baratie. The cigarette fell out of the cooks mouth. What a waste.
[1st Person, Megalon]
Fuck. Everything. I am too pissed off for this shit. My everything aches and I'm hungry enough to resort to cannibalism if I don't get some decent food asap. It only took me THREE FUCKING WEEKS to find and reach this place! How fucking hard is it to find a fish-shaped restaurant in East Blue of all places!? Pretty fucking hard, it seems! I think I deserved to be a bit pissed.
That being said, kicking the door in might not have been the best course of action, because immediately every single eye was on me.
There I stood, glaring everything and soaked to the bone. I didn't have it in me to care about the attention as I trudged in weakly and scanned the place for free tables.
"Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing to the door?" A loud voice yelled at me as I got grabbed by the arm. I slowly turned to look at the dimwit who dared to approach me. Surprisingly, I knew who it was.
It was Patty, a cook of the Baratie, and a right rude bastard with a face only a mother could love. Or, you know, drop it and make it that much worse.
"It was in the way," I snarled in a tone that clearly conveyed I was not in the mood for any shit.
"THAT'S NO EXCUSE!" Patty screamed in my face.
"Shut your face," I grunt tiredly. "I'll pay for it. Just really want to eat something with actual flavor, so kindly let go before I get upset."
"Oh," Patty sneered sceptically. "With what money?"
I reached into my packpack and pulled out a big sack of gold coins. I jingled it as proof.
The bastard was still sceptical. "And where'd you get that?"
I looked to the side briefly as I felt a flashback approaching.
(10 days ago)
"H-hey! We've got an intruder! Every man on deck-AAAH!" A marine soldier screamed as I bashed my fist into his face, instantly knocking him out.
Happening upon the marine ship was a godsend and I quickly boarded without permission. But somebody just had to make things difficult! So I was left with no other option than to beat the shit out of everyone and steal all their money and quickly snack on some of their food.
I made my escape quickly, blessing my luck that everyone on that boat was pretty weak and/or really stupid. That could have ended very badly and I'm pretty sure I just made myself a criminal.
Joy.
"... Generous and just individuals." I answered lamely. "Now do you accept money in this establishment, or do I need to bring this up with the management?" As if to reinforce my point my stomach let out a truly miserable growl that echoed through the entire dinner hall.
Patty sneered at me, but let go of my hand. "Go take a table. And behave!"
Ignoring the fact that he just barked orders at me, I trudged to the first empty table I could find, sat my ass down, slumped onto the back of the seat and waited while ignoring the burning pit of discomfort and misery that was my stomach.
I will never eat fish again if I can help it. One can only take so much before the spite sets in.
"Hey, you're pretty wet." Someone states the obvious really close to my table and I glare at them immediately.
"An astute observation..." I trailed off, realizing who the dimwit addressing me was. And the term dimwit was freakishly accurate. The straw hat on his head was a big giveaway. I'd forgotten he was in indentured servitude here for a bit. Well, at least I now knew where I was, timeline wise.
Monkey D. Luffy grinned at me in that whimsically carefree way he was known to do. "How'd you get so wet?"
I blinked. How should I play this out? I knew who this was, and some of what he would do, though I only knew stuff up until Whiskey Peak. I hadn't been that into the whole series, mainly watching it for kicks until I got bored. I didn't know much, but I knew enough.
I suppose I could play this by the gut.
"I swam." I stated tiredly.
"Really?" Luffy asked.
"A lot. All the way here." I drawled, flashing a tired grin. "Was a pain in the ass and now I'm tired and hungry as hell." My stomach growled infernally to prove it.
Luffy's eyes opened wide in wonder and shock. "Woah! Your teeth!"
"Hnn?" I hummed, trailing my tongue softly over my teeth.
(4 weeks ago, deserted island)
"Auuugh, fuccccking heeell, whyyy?!" I screamed at the trees of the island. Words couldn't coherently describe the pain my mouth was experiencing. It all happened very suddenly with only a light stinging sensation in my mouth. Then one of my teeth just fell out and the hurt really began to settle in.
It was like getting a scalpel jammed straight to the gums, and fuck did it smart like a bitch! If I was any less tough I'd probably be bawling my eyes out because this was true agony. Continuous and something you couldn't do anything about.
More and more teeth continued to fall out of my mouth as the pain continued. And it sure took its sweet time. It felt like hours - hell maybe it was - until the pain finally started to shift from unimaginable torment to severe annoyance. My jaws ached like crazy and felt... off. Different.
I traced my mouth with my tongue, only to wince as it was pricked by something. I prodded my mouth with a finger, only to be met by a tooth. A tooth with a very sharp edge.
I blamed that damn fruit. Fuck that thing! I never want to grow brand new dentures ever again! Fuck this shit!
I spent the next three hours inventing new curse words and making any hypothetical/imaginary sailor blush. I swear one of the flowers near me wilted from my tirade.
Pussy.
A brief shudder passed through my system at the pleasant memory.
"How'd you get teeth like that?" Luffy asked, fascinated.
"Practice," I snarked.
"Seriously?!" Luffy, being the dumb idiot he was, took it seriously.
"Of course fucking not! Are you daft?" I snarled weakly. "I grew them, and it wasn't pleasant."
"Can you teach me?" He asked obliviously.
"IT'S NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN LEARN, DIPSHIT!" I yelled at him. It wasn't really anger, just annoyance. He didn't give much of a reaction. The fool just grinned and laughed.
"Shishishi, you're really something! Swimming all the way here, and you got super cool teeth too. You seem pretty tough." My ego soaked that in like a needy sponge. Much appreciated. "Hey, wanna join my crew?"
"... Eh?" I vocalized dumly. I... didn't expect that, though all things considered I probably should have. Luffy was sporadic like that.
"I'm Luffy. Join my crew." The doofus goes on, never dropping that big smile from his face.
"I... Megalon. I'm Megalon Grandwhite." I introduced myself, feeling it was only fair. That, and my mind was drawing a blank. "What crew, exactly?"
"I'm a pirate. Join my crew." Luffy stated again, like it was already decided. I sweatdropped. "Though, I'm trying to get a cook to join right now. Can you cook?"
"..."
(6 years ago, Earth, Apartment Complex 4)
The kitchen was burning.
"... Nooooo." I drawled slowly. Making toast had never gone so wrong in the history of toast. Sometimes I wonder how I've survived this long with only takeout. I shook my head to rid myself of the memory.
"Well, I did sort of attack a marine ship on my way here and robbed them... guess that makes me a pirate. Sort of." I mumbled to myself.
I wasn't ashamed. It wasn't my fault they didn't let me talk it out. I was pissed and my hand was forced, damnit! I was justified!
"So you'll join!" Luffy exclaimed.
"I DIDN'T SAY THAT!" I screamed at his face. It bummed me out that he didn't react that much to it. I took a deep, exasperated breath. "Okay, listen. How about you ask me again after you got that cook of yours. Then we'll talk."
Please let this go, please let this go, please let this go-
Luffy opened his mouth to say something, but suddenly his head was driven to the floor by an impressive kick. I blinked. Guess that's one way to avoid a conversation.
"Stop bothering the customers!" A blond haired man wearing a nice suit yelled at the rubber-man eating the floorboards. He turned to me. I knew who this was. Wow, the curly eyebrow is really eye catching. "Sorry about the idiot. Was he bothering you, sir?"
"I wouldn't say he was a bother. More like a welcome distraction." I stated tiredly. Then my brain locked onto what he said.
In a flash I stood up and grabbed him by his collar, going nose to nose with him. I wore my most furious and murderous glare and snarled in a way that showed my recently new set of dangerous dentures.
"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU CALL ME?! I'M A GIRL! G-I-R-L, YOU HEAR ME? WANNA DIE?!" I screamed at his face with the rage of an erupting volcano and shook him some. I was stopped when a particularly bad growl escaped my stomach and I slumped back onto my seat, folding like a house of cards. All my energy left me.
The man, Sanji, blinked at me wide-eyed. Then he looked borderline horrified. Then he bowed very deeply. "I am deeply sorry for my mistake! My deepest apologies, ma'am!"
"Don't call me ma'am! I'm not fucking old."I growled weakly. Another growl escaped my gut and I let out a miserable whine. God being hungry sucks.
His look of horror shifts into one of worry. "Are you okay, miss?"
"That's more like it." I say with a wince. "Really could use some real food right now. Haven't eaten properly in weeks. All out of energy."
Sanji stood straight as a needle and put on his gentleman face. "I cannot ignore when a lady is pained by hunger! What can I do to serve, miss...?"
"Megalon," I state frankly. "and I'd really appreciate meat, the biggest serving possible. I could eat a sea cow whole right about now. I can pay." I placed the sack of gold onto the table. "Take all of it for all I care, just get me something with a lot of calories."
"Your wish is my command, Mega-chan!" Sanji swooned and turned to leave, but I grabbed him by the arm strongly. "Yes-"
"If there is even so much as a trace amount of fish in my food, I will sink this damn boat and everyone in it." I growl darkly. I have had enough fucking fish to last me a lifetime. I didn't even mind that ridiculous pet-name Sanji used. My mind was that focused on needing sustenance.
"Of course!" Sanji swoons chipperly and I let him go. As I start to wait, I noticed a distinct lack of Luffy anywhere. Guess I'm safe for now. Yay.
Another painful growl.
God, this food better be damn good.
The food was damn good.
No, I take it back. After so long with only what I could get hold off, mostly FUCKING FISH, this food was not damn good. It was God damn divine! You bet I scarfed all that down like my life depended on it, and already I could feel some of my strength returning and my energy levels stabilizing as more empty plates got stacked on top of each other.
I'm a big eater, apparently. Then again, this is the first proper meal I've enjoyed in a long time, so no one can blame me. Well, do so and live, anyway.
I only took a break to punch Luffy upside the head for trying to nab some of my food. Again. For the fourth time. A side-effect of my replenishing energy levels meant I could be properly angry again. And the straw hat wearing idiot was the target of my ire.
"Stop trying to nick my food!" I scream at the hellion.
"Why?" Luffy asks, the oblivious idiot.
"Because I've been basically starving for weeks now and this is mine! You want it, you're gonna have to pry it from my cold, dead hands!" I yell at him and place myself between him and my food. "If your damn hand so much as grazes my meal, I'll bite your damn hand off! Then, if you're still hungry, I'll feed it to you!"
"I don't see why you're so mad." Luffy said, not a care in the world, munching on one of my steakes.
"YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH OR SOMETHING, PAL?!" I screech at him, fully ready to implant my teeth into his hands to fulfill my promise.
"Shishishi! You're funny, Malago." Luffy laughs at the face of terror.
"IT'S MEGALO!" I yell. The whole restaurant is more or less staring at us right now, but I couldn't give a lesser fuck about them. I had to force myself to ignore Luffy and return to the heavenly food that beckoned me.
Apparently peace was too much to ask for.
"How's the food, Mega-chan!" I bristle at the nickname and shoot a glare at Sanji.
"It's delicious, but then again, anything is after what I've eaten lately." I say. "I'd really like to just be left alone to enjoy the small joys of life."
I pause, an evil thought whispering to me.
"That, and Straw Hat Boy there keeps trying to steal my food."
I grinned maliciously as Sanji delivered a good kick to Luffy's noggin' and dragged him off because he was lollygaggin' and not working like he was supposed to. With a chuckle I focused on my food once more.
"Hey, there's a ship outside!" One of the customers shouts.
'MOTHER FUCKER!' Seriously?! That is happening now? Talk about shit timing.
I glance out and what do you know? The absolutely shit-wrecked ship of the Krieg Pirates is nearby. Guess that means the main man himself is coming here pretty soon.
I am in no mood for this shit. I just start eating and try to stay out of any and all proceedings. I shut the whole world out and just ate. I was going to enjoy this fragment of heaven for as long as I could, damnit!
I must've zoned out while eating, because when I came back Sanji just crashed through my table, all the food ending up on the floor. I was absolutely frozen for a moment before very slowly turning towards the guy who did that.
The moment my eyes set on Don Krieg, acting like his arrogant pompous self, I saw nothing but red. I snapped. Fuck restraint!
Just when Krieg was proclaiming how this ship would be his, I grabbed the knocked over table with both hands. I focused all my strength to lifting the damn thing up and the throwing it at the prick! I must've caught him by surprise because the table crashed right into him and knocked him over.
"Hey, cocksucker!" I scream at him while literally everyone looks at me in fearful disbelief. I began to stomp towards him with a murderous look in my eyes.
Krieg stood up straight, to his credit seeming very much unaffected from getting hit in the face with a table. He glared right back at me, but mine was better than his. "Do you have a death wish, boy? Don't you know who I am?"
I reach him and fearlessly grab him by the collar, pulling him down to my level with a strong jerk. "First of, dickweed, I'm a girl. Secondly, I don't give a rat's ass who you are. You could be the fucking Goddess of the Ocean for all I care and I'd still call you Cocksucker McGee!"
Everyone is staring at me like I had lost my mind. Gin, Krieg's underling and second-in-command, stared at me in shock. Krieg was glaring at me with fury only I could match on a bad day. Needless to say I was unimpressed.
"You'll regret those words-" Krieg snarled but I didn't let him finish before cutting him off by basically headbutting him.
"NO! You'll regret throwing that blond bastard into my table! You'll regret making all of MY food start an intimate relationship with the floor! Listen to me you dickless clown! I've had nothing else to eat for FOUR WEEKS but near tasteless raw fish! This is my first warm meal in a long ass time and I was pretty fucking happy about that."
My glare intensifies as I look straight into the eyes, right into that rotten thing this man calls a soul.
"So you listen to me when I say that I'm pretty fucking angry right now. I'd love nothing more than beating the shit out of you, gouging your eyes out and ripping off your dick so I can help you go FUCK YOURSELF!"
I got extremely heated by the end and, to my great joy and satisfaction, Krieg seemed just slightly unnerved by my rage. Just slightly, but I took what I could. Our noses were pretty much touching, that's how strong my glare game was.
"So now I ask, am I going to need any more of a reason to rape your face with my fist? I'd start with your crotch, but I don't want to be so bold as to assume you're a man." I snarl venomously. The shocked silence that follows was a thing of beauty.
A little less so when it was broken by an absolutely furious Krieg punching me in the face, flinging me straight to the other end of the room. I hit my back on the wall with enough force to crack the wood and slumped onto the floor. God damn, that asshole was stronger than I expected.
Before that punch would have been enough to knock me out cold in an instant. Now I got away with just an aching back and a bruised cheek. Thank you Devil Fruit powers, for once!
"You DARE insult me, Don Krieg?!" Krieg roared, absolutely boiling over with anger. "A weakling like you has no place to address me so brazenly! I should kill you where you stand! Learn you place!"
"Mega-chan..." Sanji speaks up quietly from where my table used to be. His look of worry transforms into one of anger. Anger addressed solely at Don Krieg. "How dare you hit a lady?!"
Krieg scoffs with a dismissing sneer. "Man. Woman. It doesn't matter. Any weakling standing in my way pays the price for their foolishness. Now as I was saying. I need food for the rest of my crew, as well as this ship! That's an order!"
Fucking hell, he is still on about that. How fucking annoying. Sanji is about to give into his demands for food, just like in canon, but I just refuse to keep my mouth shut.
"You just love the sound of your own voice." I speak up clearly and finally stand up, having had enough of playing dead, patting dust off my clothes. To everyone I looked relatively unharmed from the punch, with only the bruise on my cheek as any visual indication. I glare at Krieg with all my contempt for the man I could muster. "I guess I don't need any more incentive to kick your teeth in. Right?"
Krieg just sneers at me like I'm a bottom feeder in his presence. The fuck is it with this guys ego? "Seems once was not enough for you."
I growl and take a step towards him.
"NO FIGHTING IN MY RESTAURANT!" A commanding voice booms across the restaurant. I stop. It was the owner of Baratie, Zeff, holding a big bag by his side. He spoke to Krieg. "This should be enough for one hundred men."
As much as I wanted to step in and batter that fucker Krieg's face in, I restrained myself. I let things play out like they did in canon for now. Krieg took his damn food, made it a point to tell everyone that this ship would belong to him and left to prepare for his assault.
Before leaving he shot me a glare. "I'll kill you myself, girl."
I couldn't help but grin murderously, showcasing my sharp teeth and reply with matching condescension. "You're welcome to try, worm."
With one final sneer Krieg took up and left. Good riddance.
I crack my neck to relieve some tension and anger from my system. The rest I push back and reserve for later.
"Mega-chan, are you okay? Are you hurt?" Sanji asks me in the type of doting concern that I hate.
"I'm fine. Super pissed off, but fine. It's just a fucking bruise." I answer curtly. The next thing I know, Luffy is slapping me on the back.
"Hey, you were pretty cool and tough just now." He says with a wide grin.
… God damnit, did I just impress Luffy? Fuck, now he is definitely wanting to draft me into his crew. Fuck!
"You really should join my crew, Lamago."
And there it is- wait a minute?!
"IT'S MEGALON! Get that through your skull!" I scream at him, happy to relieve some stress. "If you want me on your fucking boat, then at least learn my name, dumbass!"
"Excuse me." An older voice speaks to my left. I turn at them, still heated.
"WHAT?!"
I got a peg leg to the side of the head, and it hurt like a mother fucker. Definitely more so than Krieg's punch did. I was lying on the floor again, clutching the side of my head.
"GAH! THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?" I screamed at Zeff, the old prick.
"That was for destroying a table and nearly starting a fight inside my restaurant." The geezer scolds – fucking scolds – me, like I was some toddler who just broke a window. "The cost of the damages will come out of your pocket."
"I..." I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Really shouldn't get mad because of this. I waved a hand dismissively. "Yeah, sure. Fine. Take all of it for all I care. I already ate enough anyway."
I still sent a glare to the old man's way. "Did you really have to use the fucking wooden one?"
"I thought it'd get the message through your head better." He said and just walked away.
… Well played, old man. Well played. I'll accept this, for now.
With a huff I stand up and look at Luffy. "Hey, Straw Hat Boy."
"Yeah?"
"You seem strong, stronger than you look, at least. Wanna beat that guy up?" I ask seriously.
"Yeah." Was his simple answer.
"Great! However," I grin slightly. "I want a go at him first. That fine with you?"
"Yeah."
"You certain? Not afraid I'll steal your thunder?"
"Don't care."
Luffy, sometimes talking to you can be so simple. My lips twitch into an evil smile and I do something I haven't done in a while.
I laugh.
"It's a deal then, Luffy."
Chapter 1
Fin~
Next Episode: Anger vs Anger! Megalon's Power, Unleashed!
A/N: Well, this got done faster than I thought it would. Sorry about any misspellings and grammar mistakes. My English is amazing, but nobody is perfect. That and the spellcheck sucks. Gems don't need to be perfectly cut to be pretty to look at, as I say. Enjoy!
So, Megalon is showing how much of a spitfire she is in this chapter. Look at that confidence! That fire in her heart could melt glaciers, I tell you! Now if only she wasn't such a hard swearer... Nah, that'd be boring.
Be sure to Review, so I know how I fucked up :D
~Till Next Episode!~