Episode 3: Welcome to the Crew! Onward to Arlong Park!
I was enjoying a peaceful siesta on the roof of the Baratie. I think I deserved it.
After I had showed my badass and knocked the ever loving shit out of Krieg, and damn did that feel satisfying by the way, Sanji and co. Swiftly tried to help Gin the best they could. I wasn't holding my breath. That PH5 was something nasty and his chances of survival were slim.
While that was happening the rest of Krieg's Weaklings got their asses handed to them via Luffy and I. They didn't stand a chance, but I didn't feel bad.
After his condition stabilized enough he took Krieg and the rest of his crew and departed with a final farewell. I was discreet and prayed for him to not die. For serving an utter bastard like Krieg, Gin was a good guy at heart. Deep down. I could appreciate that.
After all that had passed the Baratie celebrated their victory. Luffy got released of his indentured servitude and I got to eat my fill for free. That's what they said. Word to word. They regretted it almost instantly because after that fight, though I wouldn't quite call it that, I was feeling quite peckish and ate a shit ton of their meat.
Serves them right for underestimating me! Plus, I deserved that food. It was delicious. Tasted like... Victory. Which is why I am currently having a food nap on the roof. Sweet solitude.
Luffy hadn't gotten to bothering me yet, but I think that was only because he hadn't fully convinced Sanji to join his crew yet. Gotta give it to him, the guy sticks to his word. It's only a matter of time though.
"Hey!"
'GOD DAMNIT!' Speak of the devil and he shall appear. I don't even bother sitting up, just opening an eye to lazily look in his general direction. The brat is smiling. Figures.
I sigh. "You got him, didn't you?"
"Yup!"
I groan loudly and massage the bridge of my nose. This was not something I was waiting for. Not exactly. "You want to say something. Go on."
"Join my crew."
There it is. The big question- well, more of an unsaid order.
"Why?" I ask, then elaborate for Luffy's benefit. "Why do you want me, specifically, to join your crew?"
"You're a cool shark guy."
"Lady! I am a cool shark lady!" I grumble at him through gritted teeth with heavy emphasis. This will be a test of patience, I can tell. "But you didn't know it when you first asked me. Why did you ask me then?"
He shrugged. "Felt like it."
"LIKE HELL THAT'S YOUR REASON!" I snap at him and sit up just so I can shake him by the shoulders. He just laughs.
"You're funny, Megalon."
I froze. Did he just...
"You said my name right..." I said quietly. I... wait, WHY WAS I IMPRESSED?! That's sad!
I let out a sigh and let him go. "I just don't get it. What would I even be if I joined? Sanji is a cook, obviously. You're the captain. I hope to all heaven that you have a good navigator..."
"How'd you know I got Sanji?" Luffy asked.
"I figured he was the most interesting, so I placed my bets." I said dryly. And Lied. Like a liar.
I plop back down on my back and stare at the sky. "Me? I'm not anything, really. Pretty much all I can do is punch and kick really hard. Fighting is the only thing I'm actually good at. I don't know how much use I'd be."
A cloud passed overhead and I stared at it as it slowly moved in the sky. I think it looks a lot like a shark. Hmm... no, wait. It's just a formless cloud. Meh. Looks to be alone though...
"I don't care about any of that." Luffy says. I pass him a glance. "You're super strong, and that shark thing is really cool too." Ah, I think my ego grew three sizes just now. "Stop moping and join my crew already!"
"I'm not moping!" I growl at him.
...
Wait, hold on. I am doubting my usefulness. I AM moping! What the hell, this isn't me! What the shit!
I jump up to a standing position, a determined look on my face. Like hell will I ever be mopey! I REFUSE!
"You know what. Yes." I say and grin cockily. "I'll join your Crew, Straw Hat Luffy! Let's kick all sorts of ass on the Grand Line!"
"Yeah!" Luffy exclaims.
And... I feel sort of relieved.
Weird.
We'd set sail a moment ago, leaving the Baratie behind. I was glad I decided to sleep through Sanji's farewell moment, because all that sap might have driven me insane.
I went and properly introduced myself to Sanji and Yosaku, as Sanji only knew my from a brief mention of my first name and limited interaction and I literally just met Yosaku, and informed them that I too was drafted into Luffy's crew. Apparently Luffy forgot to do that. Way to make me pick up the slack.
Traveling via boat was... it felt weird. Maybe because I was so used to swimming large distances as a shark. I mean, this was far more comfortable and less tiring and energy consuming, not to mention the fucking fish. But...
It was so fucking boring! My level of patience was... okay, it barely existed, so the mere thought of doing nothing was... I hated it!
Which leads to here and now.
I was playing cards with Yosaku, because Sanji is busy with food and Luffy... Luffy doesn't know how to play. Plus, his poker face is horrible. And by horrible I mean not even God could read it in a way that would qualify as a method.
Yosaku also had a big bump on his head for calling me a boy. I was not sorry.
And I also discovered how utterly unfair playing poker was when the other person is shit terrified of you. I swear, someday my glares will have the power to cut people. Waiting for that day will be interesting. Getting a reaction out of Yosaku was so easy it was almost sad.
Maybe that's why I kept fucking winning.
"Are you really even trying?" I ask after he folds. For the tenth. Fucking. Time. In a row.
"Y-yes." He stutters.
"THEN STOP FOLDING AND TAKE IT LIKE A MAN!" I snap at him. He scuttles away from me in clear terror. I have this guy on the ropes, and for once I am not happy about that.
I can't wait for something to happen. This just blows.
"... Oh my God." I manage to say. "That is actually really cute."
We had finally hit an event flag, thank God! We got intercepted by Mohmoo, the sea cow. And... God damnit, he was adorable! Trying to be threatening. It was so precious! I want to hug it.
I swear, this is the only feminine thing I do! Don't judge me!
"It's a sea cow!" Yosaku exclaims in fright.
"Why the fuck are you so scared?" I shoot an annoyed glance his way. "It doesn't look that scary."
"It could crush the ship!" He rebuked. I narrowed my eyes. He shut up.
I looked up at the sea cow, sizing it up. I could take it. It wasn't my first time dealing with big sea-life. The pissed off kind that doesn't like it when someone is pissing about their feeding spots.
Then again, I am not a massive shark right now... But that would be cheating, since I was pretty sure I could bite the sea cow in half if I really tried.
Yeah, I think I could still take this guy on. My ego has been growing lately, but I'm pretty confident in this claim.
"Hey, you!" I point at the sea cow. He seems to notice and homes that 'fearsome' expression onto me. I flash him my teeth in a predatory grin. "Fight me!"
Mohmoo looks... confused, I think? Then he seems to notice my teeth and I swear I can see cold sweat forming on his body. I smile wider. I think I'm reminding him of his master.
"You want to fight that?!" Yosaku screams at me like I'm crazy.
"Yeah. Problem?" I ask casually.
"That's insane! Luffy-aniki, Sanji-aniki, help me out." He turns to our two other traveling companions.
"She can take care of herself." Sanji says. I appreciate his faith in me.
"Aww, but I wanted to fight it!" Luffy whines. I take issue with this.
"What? No! I called dibs!" I yell. Then I notice Mohmoo trying to subtly swim away, the coward. "OI! GET BACK HERE! I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU YET!" I just had gotten an idea.
Most likely scared for his life, and reminded of a certain shark fishman, Mohmoo actually responds and does swim back, looking mighty nervous. I walk to the railing and place one foot on it, beckoning the sea cow over. He does and I look him in the eye.
I relax my entire body for a second. And then I focus all my intent into a single glare. "I got some things I wanna ask. You'll comply, or I'll get upset, okay~?" I ask in a creepy sing-song voice.
My stare must've done its job as Mohmoo quickly nodded his head. I've never seen such big eyes become so small in fear. Not that fast. I grinned.
"Know where Arlong Park is?" The sea cow stiffened at the name, but nodded. My grin grew wider.
"You are insane." Yosaku states stated his opinion, clear as crystal.
"Sanity get's boring and the insane ones always laugh. Think it's a coincidence?" I say from my new spot on top of Mohmoo's head. The sea cow was currently towing the pathetic thing we call a boat, as per my request.
Yosaku had been the most disbelieving when I had stared a sea cow and then intimidated it into submission and into towing the boat. Knowing the alternative would be getting the tar beat out of it via Luffy and Sanji, I decided to give Mohmoo a break.
Speaking of, the sea cow that was my seat was whining in discontent.
"OI!" I snap and bonk the sea cow on the head so hard a bump appeared. "SHOW SOME APPRECIATION! Be grateful you got off this easy!"
"Don't be to hard on him, Megalon-san." Sanji called out to me. "I've heard sea cow meat get's more chewy and low quality if they're stressed."
"We're not eating him." I state adamantly. I can feel the relief and appreciation from Mohmoo.
"You sure? I know a recipe that'd work nicely with some sauce and mushrooms." He asks.
I pat Mohmoo's head slowly in a comforting manner. "... I'll file that under consideration." My stomach won over my heart. The sea cow stiffens and freezes still. I gonk him on the head again. "HEY! I DIDN'T TELL YOU TO STOP! Get moving!"
"You are insane." Yosaku stated.
"You still on about that?"
Not even an hour had passed and my boredom was already at an all time high.
"... I can't do this anymore." I say evenly and jump off of Mohmoo's head and back to the ship. "Luffy."
"Yeah?"
"Throw me."
Silence permeates the deck. Sanji looks at me, confused, and Yosaku still has this notion that I am insane.
Luffy grins, figuring out what I was going for. "Okay!" He grabs my hand and prepares to-
"Wait, not y-AAAAH!" He does throw me off the edge of the ship, but not nearly far or high enough.
Now, normally Zoan users can transform pretty quickly, some in less than a second. In comparison, my transformation is slow as molasses because I am so new to it. It takes approximately five seconds for me to transform fully to my Megalodon Form. This is where the problem lies.
Luffy's throw did not offer nearly enough time for that, so my pathetic ass hit water, and look! There goes all my strength! As I sink, like the hammer I am, I make a valiant effort to hold my breath, but even that is extremely tedious. I just didn't have any energy for it.
God damnit, this is why eating a Devil Fruit sucks so much!
Thank God Sanji is a hella good swimmer and acted fast, dragging my ass back onto the boat. I spend the next thirty seconds gasping for breath and hacking up what little seawater I swallowed.
I began shivering.
"H-hey? You alright, Megalon-san?" Sanji asks in concern. I don't pay him any mind though as I stand up and in a flash have got Luffy by the vest.
"YOU DUMB SHIT, ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?!" I roar at his face.
"You asked me to throw you!" Luffy defended himself.
"I DIDN'T MEAN RIGHT THEN AND THERE! YOU CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD!"
"I thought you could swim!"
"ONLY WHEN I'M A FUCKING SHARK!" I scream. "If I hit water as a human, I'll sink! I'm still a hammer, moron!"
This had been a big problem of mine when traveling. Usually I just hanged around near the shore, made sure there was enough space, transformed and then rolled into the sea. It wasn't pleasant, it was super hard because I weighed what I can only assume to be something, like, 50 tonnes or so. And it hurt my back fin, and that sucked.
The other method was to find a really long fall into the sea, usually a cliff-side, and then jump really high so I got enough air-time. I liked this one more.
Why must I suck at my own powers so much? Zoans are supposed to be the most simple of the Devil Fruits. You get exactly two things: Animal forms and superpowers(strength, toughness, stamina,etc.). And I can't do the first one right!
I proceeded to let my anger get the better of me and Sanji had to step in before I would actually start beating the shit out of Luffy. No doubt he could take it, but I would've felt bad later.
Maybe.
"Question." I raise my voice.
"Go on ahead, Megalon-san." Sanji says and I nod my head in appreciation.
"Thank you." I start dryly. I take a deep breath before asking my burning question. "WHY THE FUCK AM I TIED TO THE FUCKING MAST!?"
I was, indeed, tied to the mast of the boat. Pretty securely too, with unnecessary amounts of rope. The three guys were sitting in a half-circle in front of me.
"This is a cautionary measure." Sanji says.
"A fucking what?" I ask, not believing the words coming out of his mouth.
"I've noticed you get angry pretty easily, as you did just now. So I think it's a good idea to let you simmer down for a bit. We'll let you go after you've calmed down, okay?"
"YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! This is stupid!" I yell at his bullshit and begin thrashing. I might be really strong, but Sanji knows how to tie a fucking badass tight knot.
After a minute I resign to the fact that I'm not getting out of these on my own. So I do try to do as asked of me. To calm down. I close my eyes. Deep breaths, relax your body. Think of beating up the person you hate the most(Krieg). Kick that son of bitch in the groin. Numerous times. Repeat any step as necessary. Relieve the tension. Calm...
I open my eyes.
"This isn't working!" I shout. "How can I try to calm down when these ropes are pissing me off! THEY CHAFE! AAARGH!" I bend my neck so I can snap my jaws at the rope, but my reach is sorely lacking. Not being able to formulate a proper alternative, I did the only thing I could.
Raged, complained and swore like a fucking sailor!
It continued like that for an hour before I fell asleep.
'... what the actual fuck?'
The first thing I see when I wake up is that I am surrounded splintered wood, remains of... something. Absolutely burrowed by the stuff, actually.
I have no clue what is going on. What happened while I was asleep?
I try to get up but feel an odd weight keeping me down, aside from all the wooden rubble. I look back and ARE YOU SERIOUS?! I am still tied to the fucking mast! But how? I can distinctly feel dirt beneath my side.
I feel the irritation of not knowing what the fuck is going on now begin to boil. With all my strength I work to stand up, and surprisingly enough I do so with only some moderate much resistance. The rest of my body pops out from a pile of wooden rubble.
I look back and see that while the mast is still tied to me, it is not attached to the ship anymore. As for the ship... Well, now I figured out what happened. I had somehow slept through the event where the ship was sent flying through the air, then through a forest, followed by crashing into Zoro and then a cliff-side.
So now I was surrounded by the remains of the ship. The broken off mast still attached to me like an annoying body weight.
... Fuck. I'm a heavy sleeper, but this is ridiculous!
I also notice a distinct lack of Luffy, Yosaku or Sanji. The question pops up; 'Where the fuck are the guys?' An obvious and easily reachable answer worms its way deep into my mind.
I feel a vein pop. Hard. I had been ditched... Those bastards dared to forget me here and leave?!
Before I realize it I had taken off running, unhindered by the added weight the mast has on my back. I was seeing all red right now and I want nothing more than to find those three bastardly backstabbing betrayers!
"WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU, YOU RAT BASTARDS?! I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF ALL OF YOU BEFORE I KILL YOU!" I roar in absolute rage, unknowingly running full speed towards Cocoyashi Village, Nami's home.
Episode 3
Fin~
Next Episode: Battle at Arlong Park! Rage That Transcends Reason?!
A/N: This is essentially filler. It so is. ...I am not ashamed.
This one got reworked a lot because I kept doing it wrong. Being happy with your work is so taxing, I swear... When something feels wrong the first instinct is to go "GAH, how horrible! Delete it, delete it!". Ah, the joys of being a writer.
Also, one of my reviewers asked about ships... I mean, have you seen Merry! Mreow~. But all kidding aside, all surprises stop being fun once revealed. Or not. WHO THE HELL KNOWS, RIGHT?! :D
Welp, at least the next episode Megalon is going to actually meet the rest of the Straw Hats. That'll be fun! She is hyper pissed though so...
~Till Next Episode~