I'M A DOCTOR, CHAPTER FOURTEEN
The mansion continued to fall to pieces while Iain restrained Dylan, who struggled, while gasping:
"Both Dervla and Ben gone? No…"
Iain wanted to tell Dylan that his dog and his lover both had a chance. But the house was flattened, even the buildings outside. They must both have been crushed. He prayed that they'd both been knocked unconscious before the worst happened.
Then he almost goggled. Ricardo was gliding towards them both, with a cross but very much alive Dervla on her leash.
"Friend, I have your glorious hound here."
Dervla ran to Dylan. The pressure as she tugged on her lead couldn't make the undead Ricardo trip; instead he floated like a balloon on the end of the lead. Giorgio was howling with laughter. As Ricardo floated to earth, the two phantoms embraced each other, laughing.
"I think we should agree to be friends" Giorgio chuckled.
"True; that wench was not worth it" replied Ricardo.
"Swine!" shrieked Taylorette and she floated off into the void.
Dylan's pain eased a small fraction, then he thought how Ben would have laughed at Ricardo, the human balloon, and his throat tightened.
"Mr Doctor, here's Ben."
Dylan saw Keira and Orlando floating towards him, and, walking between them unsteadily, Ben. Not a pale, phantom Ben, but flesh – bruised flesh, true – and blood. His shirt, however, was somewhat ripped.
"We could pull him along by his shirt when he got knocked out and we could move really fast" Orlando explained. He sighed:
"I think we grazed his knees a lot." Dylan looked at Ben and realised his knees were somewhat bloody.
Ben tried to focus.
"I thought y- you were thrown into that fire" he stammered.
"We didn't feel a thing, we just yelled because it was scary. But that nice man in the armchair helped us."
Jeff circled above everybody in his armchair. The police decided a stiff drink was called for while they decided together what story to tell to the authorities.
"And we can go now" Keira beamed. Noticing she didn't say 'We have to go now', Dylan smiled weakly and mouthed 'up there?' while pointing upwards with his finger.
"We thought we'd been too bad for heaven because of those songs, but we can still go. And Mr Jeff can come with us."
"How do you-" Dylan began and Keira answered serenely:
"We just know."
Jeff pointed to the armchair, and Kiera and Orlando leapt into it, grinning.
"Love you, Mr Doctor and Nurse Ben. Love you, doggie. Love you, Miss Tess."
"Keep your hands inside the chair, Kiera, like at Disneyland" Jeff advised.
As the twins happily snuggled up to Jeff, the three occupants of the armchair waved to a teary-eyed Tess, faded and vanished. Tess wiped her eyes and vanished. Ethan, being Ethan, jumped into the armchair and tried to make it move upwards. Nothing. He jumped out crossly, which was probably as well because it vanished with a bang.
"Goodbye, Hound."
Ricardo knelt in front of Dervla, who actually deigned to lick his face. On finding she was licking thin air she did her 'sulk' noise between a growl and a yelp and put her head on her paws. The two ex-rival brothers laughed and vanished.
Noel looked round anxiously.
"Honey-?"
Suddenly Hon the Nun appeared, dragging a wailing Mercedes.
"Give back what you stole, else I'll put your face in the fire again."
"There's no fire left" Mercedes whimpered.
"I'll make one" Honey threatened. Mercedes threw something in Connie's face… Rita's panties. Then she gave a screech and began to sink through the ground in flames. Honey and her dad linked arms, and walked across the lawn, the redeemed Big MacIntosh trudging behind them. They vanished before they got to the hedge.
The spirits were vanishing rapidly; the police becoming even more confused, Lily just being her usual calm self.
Caitlin seized her moment and glided across to give Dixie a huge kiss.
Max swaggered over to Rita.
"Hey, Foxy, no hard feelings eh?"
He grabbed her and kissed her. Iain decided he'd allow it. Connie herself was too distraught to even argue.
"Oh it's like that is it? I thought I'd broken your heart" sniffed Zoe.
"As you told me, I should be over it by now, remember? I hope you and lover-boy have fun in Limbo because I'm not bothered any more. I'm going to wait for Foxy Rita."
The onlookers did feel that it was poetic justice as Zoe went floating after Max wailing "Maaaax! Give me another chance!"
Rita held her panties at arms' length.
"I'm going to wash these at least twice before I wear them again."
Jacob was trying to appear as if seeing a house full of ghosts and conquering a demon was an everyday event for him. The fact that his hands were still trembling a little gave him away.
"Robyn" Cal said quietly, "It looks as if things are back to normal now."
Here we go, thought Robyn, now we're not in any danger good old Robyn won't look half as exciting to him.
"Yeah" she agreed.
"So I was thinking, how would you like a real stay somewhere for a couple of nights? No old places, though. A Premier Inn or a Novotel?"
Robyn's knees went to jelly.
"I'd love that."
"I'll even take you shopping!" grinned Cal.
Ethan pretended to faint.
"Hey, it's a shame the house got destroyed, we could have had breakfast" he sighed.
The ghosts had all left the scene by now; dawn was beginning to break. Dylan looked severely at Connie.
"Look at Ben! He needs treatment!"
"Ooh dear, where will you find a couple of paramedics at this hour?" quipped Dixie.
"It's an ambulance you need" Dylan said, groping for his mobile and realising none of them had had mobiles for at least three days.
· "We'll get him to a hospital" Morris smiled, and supported Lofty to the car, strapping him in. Despite his trying to reassure everybody that he was fine, Lofty's head bobbed and he passed out.
"I want to come with him; make sure they look him over properly" Dylan insisted.
"No room, sir, but we'll call taxis for anybody who needs them now."
"Better take him to Holby; they're short staffed at A and E."
The police car drove off with Lily waving enthusiastically to Morris.
"Oh, that reminds me" Lily had plucked up her courage to tell Connie, "Louise had to ring Holby and ask Jac Naylor to step in. I know you will not like that, Connie…"
"No, it was a good idea; it's fine, Lily. I'll thank Louise properly…"
To everybody's amazement and horror, Connie started to sob.
Rita and Jacob put their arms round her simultaneously.
"Connie, it's okay. We're safe now."
"It's not that. We've – I've – failed those children. The ones who would've benefited from a new ward. I put us through all this and there won't be any money after all."
"You were conned, sweet cheeks. Any one of us would have been. Come on, now. Stop breaking your heart about it. Look, what we need is breakfast. Who knows a good Weatherspoon's?"
"I know them ALL" Ethan smiled.