A/N: Sorry it's a bit later than usual; FF was being annoying and wouldn't let me in.

Chapter Six

The night House confessed his feelings to Wilson he had a dream about him again, but when he woke up it was the middle of the night and he just went back to sleep. Then he had a dream about Lisa, so even though she was too busy in the morning for sex, when he jerked off in the shower he was thinking of her.

And after that he didn't even need to worry about avoiding Wilson; Wilson avoided him. He didn't know if it was more relieving or depressing to see the oncologist duck into a patient room when they spotted each other across the hallway, to take the stairs when he noticed House heading for the elevators. This was what he wanted. No, it wasn't what he wanted. It was what he needed. This was a turning point in his life. The end of his relationship with Wilson and the start of his relationship with Cuddy. This was a good thing. Cuddy was in love with him, a way Wilson could never be, she fulfilled his needs and he fulfilled hers. They were perfect for each other. He was better off with Cuddy as his girlfriend than he'd ever been with Wilson as his friend. There was no reason to grieve the loss of Wilson, because with that loss he'd gained Lisa. He'd come out on top.

Logically, rationally, he knew all this. Emotionally, it was very hard for him to accept that things between himself and Wilson were done for good. Wilson avoiding him was a good thing, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt. However, after the first few days, he got used to it. Or so he told himself. He didn't exist to Wilson and Wilson didn't exist to him. That was the way his life was now.

So House was very surprised to discover, less than a week after his confession of love, the object of said confession waiting for him in his office.

He looked gorgeous as usual, hair perfect and eyes shining. He was wearing his green tie, one that House didn't hate with a passion. The diagnostician wondered if that had been a conscious decision or if it was just coincidence.

After the once-over, he intended to make his way to his desk without acknowledging that there was another human being in the room. However, the other human being stood up and proceeded to block his way. House tried to sidestep him, but Wilson was quicker.

"You know, you're making this very difficult," the diagnostician said, irritated. Eventually he looked up and glared at the younger man, whose eyes, surprisingly, held no trace of anger or resentment. "What are you doing here, anyway?" he asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.

Wilson, for some reason, smiled. "I need to talk to you," he admitted, looking down shyly.

"I thought we agreed on no further contact," House argued, leaning on his cane because Wilson wouldn't let him sit down.

"House, I'm sorry," Wilson said, looking up again. "I shouldn't have just left like that the other day. I was still processing, and...I was scared. This...this hasn't been easy for me, House, but...after thinking about this for a very long time, I've decided...I need to stop being a coward and just face the truth. I'm in love with you, too."

House stared at Wilson, eyes wide. Whatever he'd been expecting, it wasn't that. Wilson in love with him? Now? Of course the idea of Wilson reciprocating his feelings crossed his mind; it happened all the time. Back before he'd started seeing Cuddy, he would analyse every move Wilson made, trying to see if there was a way...if it was possible...that maybe the younger man felt the same. And there were definite times when he'd thought it was possible. He'd even thought seriously about telling Wilson how he felt, though he knew if he did decide to go through with the confession it would take a long time to work up the nerve. But before he'd made any sort of decision, Sam had shown up and driven away any and all hope the diagnostician had of a relationship with his best friend.

But now...after all that...Wilson did feel the same way. House cleared his throat. "When did you know?" he asked, eyes scanning Wilson's face to read whatever his words didn't say.

Wilson rubbed the back of his neck. "I've known for months," he admitted. "Just before I got the condo."

"And you waited until now to tell me?" House snapped, glaring. That was just perfect. They could have completely avoided Sam and Cuddy; they could have been together. What the hell was Wilson thinking?

"House, I've known for months, but I didn't admit it until just yesterday," Wilson explained. "I was scared; I've been in denial. You're a man—loving you would make me gay, and I wasn't ready to face that. When you..." he looked down and started to pace around the office. "When you told me how you felt, part of me was bursting to say I felt the same, to...kiss you, tell you I loved you...but unfortunately, a bigger part was screaming, 'no, you don't. House is a guy and you're straight.' So that part won out and I left, I went home and had sex with Sam to reassure myself that I was straight and I didn't have feelings for you.

"But for the next few days," he continued, still pacing, "all I could think about was you, how much I loved you and wanted a relationship with you. It took until yesterday but I finally decided to face my feelings, to admit it." The younger man looked the older in the eye. "I'm in love with you, House. Completely in love with you. I think I have been for years, and I...I think I will be forever. I loved Sam, and I loved Bonnie and Julie, but I know I love you more than them."

He took a step closer to House, maintaining eye contact. "I ended things with Sam. Yesterday, after I admitted to myself how I felt about you. She's gone. I...you can come back whenever. Tonight, if you like." He looked hopeful.

House hadn't said a word since his demand of how long Wilson had known about his feelings. He looked past Wilson, to the wall. His mind was spinning.

Wilson. He could be with...he could...finally...have a relationship with Wilson. Hold him at night, wake up to him in the morning. Kiss him. Make love to him. Grow old with him. He could have all of that.

There was just one little problem...

"Wilson," House said, locking eyes with him again. His voice came out sounding confused; he wasn't sure why. The oncologist's eyes sparkled at him, and House felt desire ripple through his body, making the next thing he had to say that much harder. "Wilson, I'm with Lisa."

Wilson's smile crashed to the ground. His brow furrowed and his shoulders slumped. "House," he said, looking at him and also sounding confused. "Leave her. I left Sam."

"She...she's not chopped liver, Wilson," House said, still looking at him. "Fuck," he muttered, and this time he looked away, pacing around the office the way Wilson had earlier. "Wilson, I still love her. I'm not gonna just throw her on her ass because after all this time you've decided you're in love with me."

"What?" Disbelief rang through Wilson's voice. He stared at House. "You tell me you're in love with me, but when I tell you I love you back you change your mind and just want Cuddy?"

"There was never a change of mind, Wilson," House pointed out. "I told you I didn't want to be friends anymore because me being in love with you fucks with my relationship with Lisa. I wasn't asking for you to love me back. I was asking for you to leave me alone so I could forget about how I felt about you and just focus on her."

"But things are different now," Wilson said, pleading. "I do love you back. And I want to be with you. If...if you loved her more than me then you wouldn't have had to ask me to back off. House, we're in love. We can be together."

"No, Wilson, we can't," the older man contradicted. "No, I don't love her more than you, but I love her obviously more than you loved Sam. We didn't get married or anything, but I promised...when Lisa and I got together, we agreed we were going to try and make it work. She's not expendable, she's not just a fling I can toss aside when someone more interesting comes along. I care about her, Wilson. I love her. God, Wilson...if you'd told me this before we got together, then fuck yes, but I...I'm in a committed relationship with Lisa. I'm not dumping her because you've finally decided to see the light."

"But..." Wilson started to argue but couldn't seem to get past the one word. He appeared to be deflating before House's eyes. "I...I left Sam for you."

"Which I never asked you to do," House pointed out. "Wilson, things between us aren't going to change. If Lisa and I break up and you still want to be with me, then we can talk, but...for now I'm with her, and that's how it's going to stay."

Wilson turned away from House. "I...I don't believe this," he said.

House shrugged, looking away. Wilson was upset, it looked like he might start crying at any minute, and the older man did not feel comfortable with that. Part of him wanted to apologise, but he wasn't sorry for anything he'd done; he was just sorry Wilson had decided to chase after his ex-wife rather than confront his true feelings. House decided to go out onto his balcony and hope that the oncologist would have left by the time he went back in.

It was a beautiful day outside. The sun was warm on his skin. He could hear ambulance sirens, but the ER was on the other side of the hospital and the sirens were faint; the sound of birds chirping was louder.

That was frustrating. If the weather had been any reflection of his mood, it would have been downpouring. The sirens and wind would only be overwhelmed by the sound of the raindrops hitting the pavement. People below would be rushing to their cars in a vain attempt to stay dry. That would make House feel better. Schadenfreude.

The balcony door opened and Wilson stepped out into the sunshine. House, leaning on the wall, turned to look at him.

"You're willing to sacrifice me for her?" the oncologist clarified, locking eyes with him.

"Hurts to be on the receiving end, doesn't it?" House mused, bitterly thinking of Sam and Amber.

Wilson scoffed. "You can never just give a person a straight answer, can you? Sometimes..." He walked around House and stood next to him, looking out to the parking lot. "Sometimes I wonder why I love you when you can be so damn frustrating." Looking away from him, he shrugged. "But I do. I don't know why, but..." He turned and faced the older man, making eye contact with him. "I really hope you change your mind, House. Now that I know how you feel...unless I find another Amber, I'm not going anywhere."

And before House knew what was happening Wilson had pecked him on the cheek and slid over the balcony wall to his own office.

House watched him go, yearning to follow him but remaining where he stood. He turned back to the parking lot and watched patients and staff enter and exit the hospital. A raindrop fell from somewhere above him and landed on his head.

.

This time he couldn't hide from Lisa what a shitty day he was having. All he could think about was Wilson, wondering if he'd made the right decision. He knew he loved Wilson more than he loved Lisa. He wasn't even in love with Lisa.

But at the same time, she was the one he was with right now and he didn't want to be the asshole who just dumped her because someone else came along. Maybe if this had happened before, before Mayfield, before he'd given up Vicodin and tried to be a better person, then he might not have a problem with tossing a woman he loved on her ass because a man he loved more showed up. But now he was trying to be better than that. He'd promised her he would try and make it work with her and he intended to keep that promise.

And when she looked at him...her eyes sparkling with love and her beautiful smile aimed directly at him...he couldn't regret it, in those moments. When she took his arm and put it around her shoulder while they sat on the couch, when she kissed him, ran her fingers through his hair, touched his arm casually as they passed. In those little moments that came every day, he reminded himself that this was why he'd decided to be with her. She made him feel good inside. He loved her.

That didn't stop him from being quiet and introspective on the first night after Wilson confessed his feelings.

House was sitting on the sofa, pretending to watch TV but with no clue what was actually on. He'd given up on trying not to think about Wilson for tonight; after what had transpired this afternoon he knew there was no point in even trying. For the next few days he would avoid Wilson again, and maybe then he'd be able to go back to not thinking about him as often. He rubbed his leg absent-mindedly but other than that didn't really move.

Lisa's face appeared in his field of vision. Her eyes sought his out, her brow furrowed. "Greg, did you hear me?" she asked, her voice sounding faraway.

She came into focus and his eyes clicked onto hers. "What?" he asked, shaking his head slightly to clear it.

"I was asking where you'd like to go for dinner this weekend," she said, looking concerned. "Are you okay? I said your name like three times; it was like you were in a different world."

Wilson-world. It had a nice ring to it.

"Sorry, Lise," he said, reaching for her hand and stroking it. "Just...going through some stuff..."

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked, settling back down on the couch and leaning close to him but still holding his eye.

House shook his head. "Personal."

He could tell from her expression she thought that whatever was personal for him involved her, as his girlfriend, but thankfully she decided to hold her tongue. "Do you have an appointment with Darryl this week?" she asked.

"Next week," he corrected. At her insistence, he'd returned to his therapist after the two had gotten together. It had been their first real fight, because she'd made it a condition of his employment and said that just because they were dating didn't mean she wouldn't fire him if he violated the conditions. Knowing it was probably for the best, he'd grudgingly agreed and saw Dr. Nolan for an hour every two weeks.

"Whatever it is, you should talk to him about it," she suggested gently. "That's why he's there."

House nodded. "Maybe..." he said wistfully, not making a decision. "Maybe I will."

He wasn't entirely sure why he'd never confessed to his psychologist his romantic feelings for his best friend. He'd never told another soul until Wilson last week, and just let everyone think he loved Wilson platonically and Lisa romantically. He thought part of it was that he thought Nolan's recommendation might be to tell Wilson, which he hadn't been ready to do. Now that he had, though...except what if Nolan told him to leave Lisa for Wilson?

And then House felt guilty because his heart leaped in his chest at that idea. He wanted to be with Wilson.

But he wasn't going to. All right, he'd tell Nolan, but he wasn't going to leave Lisa, not even if the therapist recommended it.