Mommy

By: Kary G.

Chapter 4

7:00 am just in time for Syd to see the sun come out. She sat outside in a beautiful rocking bench. The air was wonderful, the birds chirping, she took an amount of air, inhaled it, and let it go to her lungs. Peace around her…

Still she had to talk to Gage, it was now or never. Since Gage was asleep, she decided to go inside to make hot chocolate, after a few minutes Gage was coming downstairs into the kitchen. Sydney kissed her husband, and handed him a big cup filled with hot chocolate, marshmallows, and whipped cream. He took a sip feeling the hot dark liquid burn his tongue, and his throat, leaving his taste buds with the sweet taste of the chocolate combined with the marshmallow.

"Hmm…" he moaned as he took another sip of the hot liquid. "This is delicious,"

"I'm glad you like it. Hmm….why don't you come outside with me. I need to talk to you about something that you should've known a long time ago," she hurried outside leaving Gage behind…Wondering.

Her hands were shaky, just knowing that she was going to reveal a big part of her life to be man she loved so much, but was she ready to reveal that secret? Was she? When all she wanted to do was run away from Gage, she wanted to hide in a corner already hearing the shouts of rage, and the insults that Gage was telling her for not being able to have children, what was she going to do? What if he asked for the divorce? What if he left her for another woman who could provide him with a family? What if he ended up hating her for the rest of his life? What if…?

"Sydney?" Gage called her name, as he saw the nervousness was consuming her.

"Sorry…sit down for a minute," she patted the bench, and he did as she said.

"What's going on?" Gage asked with a concern voice ,as he looked how Sydney played nervously with her hands.

"Do you remember how we talked about having children of our own?" In response he nodded. "…and also about my mom that she died?" He nodded once again, she took a deep breath. "Well…hmm… This is not easy for me to confess, but let me explained from the beginning so you can understand…"

"Honey, you're scaring the hell out of me. Why all this chat about us having children, and what about your mom? What was the cause for her death?"

"Because… hmm… my mother died of cancer,"

"Cancer?" Gage repeated the word.

The tears began to sting Sydney's chocolate eyes. "Yes, it was ovarian cancer. I was in elementary school, and… I thought my life is over, you know that I wouldn't be able to be whole, and safe again without her," her voice was starting to break, but she wasn't going to break down that easily.

"Sydney…Honey, I'm so sorry," He whispered to his wife, as he took her hands.

"No, no it's ok," she paused for a moment and continued. "Then when I was in my late 20's I heard that they have discovered a new cancer gene,"

Gage looked down at her hands, and then focused his gaze directly to his face. "So, if you are a carrier.. you are more likely to get the disease?"

"Fifteen times more likely," she answered his question. "So, I was tested… I- I just could't bear the thought of passing down that sentence down to my little girl or dying and leaving her all alone to be broken up inside the way that I was you know…,"

"Sydney, listen to me you were scared, I know you are. We can do more research I'll help you with that…" Gage was helping, but Sydney shook his head.

"No, no, no Gage, no," Every "no" was more painful to hear. A tear rolled down her eye, and she took a deep breath one more time. "I had a hysterectomy," she confessed looking at her husband Gage… a little lost trying to comprehend the meaning of that word. "…So that I would never have cancer, and I will never have children."

Gage rested his head on top of her hands and took a deep breath himself. "Gage, when you asked me if I ever though about having a child with you… Honey the answer is yes, a thousand times YES.." the tears came down faster than she expected. "But I can't," It was so hard to just say "I can't" she was dying inside.. she wanted to run, she felt ashamed to let Gage hear all of this. She sobbed, "..and no matter how much I love you… I will never be able to give you a child," she finally broke down, Gage embraced her as strong as he could hiding his face from her, hiding his own tears that were now soaking Sydney's hair.

"I'm so sorry Gage… I'm…so..so…sorry," She said between sobs. He let her scream, shed tears, sobbed… she deserved to cry herself to sleep.

30 minutes passed, and her cries stopped, he looked at his wife, and she was asleep.. he took her in his arms, and placed her on the sofa. He then walked to the kitchen, and took half bottle of vodka, and filled a glass, he drank the golden liquid, just one cup… he set the cup on the sink, and covered his mouth with his hand, as he sobbed too…uncontrollably… not knowing that Sydney had opened her eyes, and was now crying again too…what have she done to him?

Sydney sat in the sofa letting the tears fall down, and soaked her blouse… Gage by now was a little bit more better, and soon from the kitchen that Sydney was sitting… he walked to her, and sat in front of her.

"Gage…" Sydney began to speak. " I know I shouldn't hide that secret from you, therefore… I will understand, if you decide to leave the house, if you decide to sign the divorce papers, If you decide to find another woman that can give you a family… I understand," her gaze focused down on her hands, she didn't have the gut to looked at him.

"Sydney…"

*****
Alex stood in the nursery looking at her daughter sleep peacefully, her gaze moved to her toys, the room's color, and her small clothes. Alex eyes filled with unshed tears… Walker had to know Sydney's situation. She knew she promised Sydney not to tell Walker or any of the guys, but Walker had to know.

"Alex.."

Alex turned around, and embraced her husband trying to take some strength not to cry…

"What's wrong Alex?"

"It's Sydney.. There's something you should know about…"

*****
"Sydney…" Gage took her face in his hands, and made her look at him. "Thank you for giving those options, any other guy would walk away from their wives, if those men heard what you just tell me…."

Sydney sobbed… she knew she was walking away from her…

"But I'm not one of those guys. Yes, is a lot to process, Yes it was my dream to become a father, but there's more ways for us to become parents, I don't hate you…. I love you Sydney, and because I love you I will never leave you, I'll never find another woman, and I will NEVER sign the divorce,"

Sydney looked in shock at her husband. "What? But Gage I thought…"

"Well, you thought wrong. I love you with all my heart Sydney Cooke, remember the vows at our wedding 'To have, and to hold, in sickness, and in health, for better or worse' I'll always be with you, and I will not leave you…not now… Never,"

He kissed her gently, slowly, passionately, and then it became wild… and before they knew it…they were in their room sharing their passion…claiming one another.

Sydney lay in top of Gage's, she kissed his chest, and in return he kissed her back. Both husband, and wife looked at each other, he caressed her face, and moved his mouth to her ear whispering three beautiful words to his wife. "I love you,"

****
"I think we should talk to them to see how they're doing," Walker suggested.

'Yes, I agree. Let me call Jules, and asked if we can all go to her house, since she's eight months pregnant, she needs bed rest, and I think she'll love to have us there with her,"

"Does she know about Sydney's?"

"Yes, she does Walker.. Sydney told all of the women in there,"

He nodded, and gave his cell phone to Alex to make that phone call.

*****
"Ok, I'll take a shower," Sydney stood up wrapping her body with the sheet. The phone rang, and Gage answered. "Yes…Ok, we'll be there in an hour,"

"Well?" Sydney asked.

"Walker will do a Barbeque at Jules place. He wants all of us to be there,"

"Ok, in that case I'll take a quick shower," she bent down, and kissed Gage. "Hmm… care to join me?" she walked to the bathroom, Gage stood up running towards her.

"Of course I'll join you," he said as he took Sydney in his arms before closing the bathroom door, Sydney's laugh echoing in the house. She sent a silent prayer to god thanking him for giving her a wonderful man.

****

45 minutes later both junior rangers were on their way to Jules home. Gage was driving, and Sydney looking at some papers that she brought from Ranger HQ that were inside the car. Both rangers chatted, but their talk stopped as they received a brake-in house situation.

"This is Ranger Cooke, can you please give us the location of the house?"

"Yes Ranger Cooke. House is located in 239 Oak Street, A person broke in, a woman, and a child are locked in one of the rooms upstairs,"

"We're on our way," was Sydney's response.

**Oak Street**
Gage parked the car, Sydney following behind Gage. Sydney knocked at the door in the meantime Gage checked on the back. "Texas Rangers open up!" No answer. Gage came back and didn't see anyone in the back. Sydney kicked the door, and with guns ready to shoot, each ranger checked each room until they went upstairs again they checked each room, and didn't see the robber, they walked in the last bedroom they needed to check, and saw a nurse, and heard a one year old cry.

"You can come out, we're Texas Ranger," the woman came out of where she was hiding with a beautiful toddler. The one year old girl had a pink dress, and a little headband, her eyes had a deep blue along with a little bit of brown, and her lips so little, and beautiful

The woman was crying so much that Sydney had to take the crying child from the nurse's arms. The moment the baby girl was on the ranger's arms she stopped to cry. Once outside, Gage and Sydney asked a few questions, and waited for another police car to come, and do the job. The nurse looked at Sydney, and her face went pale, the nurse by the name of Allison Kent coughed and hid his pale face.

"Are you ok?"

"Yes," Allison answered and at that time another car police came, and Sydney smiled to the little girl in her arms, and gave her back to the nurse.

"Is your daughter?" Sydney asked.

"No, it's my friend's Caroline Summer, but she's working in the hospital,"

"She's beautiful," Sydney turned around and filled in some details to the Dallas Police, and then left. One of the officers took the girl, and took Allison to another place… Allison looked at Sydney drive away, her eyes focused on her hands, as she took a picture out of her nurse uniform pocket of a beautiful woman with some Filipino/Latina looks… There was no doubt it was the same… she read the name that was on the back of the picture: Sydney Cooke.