Disclaimer: I don't own any recognizable characters and am doing this just for fun :)!
Perpetual thanks to SassenachWench and Sihaya9 for keeping my crap straight!
Moving Ahead and Protective Mama Bears
BPOV
The month after we returned from Minnesota was completely insane. I was meeting myself coming and going as I struggled to work in the extra hours, packing, and moving in with Edward. In addition to all of that, I was also helping Tanya come to Chicago to interview for the job and show her Rose's apartment, arranging for her to move back home. I also had all of the sister-in-law duties of shopping with Alice and Rose for a dress to wear for her wedding, and helping to plan the few details for their City Hall nuptials. The most stressful of all though was preparing for Elizabeth's impending visit. Everything seemed to be happening all in one big, stressful flurry. The only bit of peace I received the entire month were the few stolen hours of rest and relaxation I would get with Edward at night.
Moving me in with Edward was probably the easiest task of all the ones facing us during the month of November. Edward already had a fully furnished apartment, whatever furniture I did have was not nearly as nice as what he already owned. I opted to leave behind my dresser for the new baby and sent my bed over to the apartment Tanya was going to be moving into in the following weeks. The rest of my things fit easily in a couple dozen boxes, which I packed in the course of one day off. The boys managed to load up and transport it all to Edward's unsuspecting apartment less than an hour later.
The biggest obstacle of the move for me was not moving out, but rather unpacking in my new home. Edward's apartment was so elegant and perfectly decorated by Esme's expert eye that I couldn't bring myself to put out my little knickknacks and mismatched picture frames that would disrupt the elegant flow. At the same time, to not have the blown glass fountain my mother bought for me in Branson when I was five, or the picture of the four of us at Disney World sitting cockeyed in the Mickey Mouse ear frame on display in the living room, simply made me feel as though the space truly was not mine.
I looked around the space forlornly with a sigh, slouching onto the couch with my two most prized possessions still sitting in my hands. I could hear the murmured conversations coming from the kitchen where everyone congregated to cool off with a beer around the island counter.
A second later, I felt two warm hands squeezing my shoulders lovingly before his breath brushed past my ear.
"What's wrong, sweetheart? You look so sad."
I sighed again, shrugging my shoulders and lifting his hands that continued to gently caress my muscles as his thumbs moved in small firm circles along my spine.
"My things don't look right here. This place is so perfect the way it is. Mickey would look so stupid up there." I whined, gesturing with the Mickey frame in my right hand toward the shelves full of shiny silver frames and expensive looking statuettes where my cheap little chochkies would look even more worthless.
I felt his hands leave my shoulders. With a sigh, he took the frame from my hand. He stepped around the couch to pick up a sparkling silver frame with an aging picture of our group in front of the carousel at Six Flags that sat next to the collage frame full of pictures of Edward and me, replacing it with my cheesy Mickey Mouse frame. He stepped back with a wide smile.
"Perfect."
I scoffed from the couch. "Yeah, about as perfect as putting my finger painting from kindergarten next to a Renoir…the truth of the matter is that my stuff just doesn't fit in here."
Edward huffed, picked up a box, and began grabbing all of the decorations off of the shelves and tossing them in unceremoniously. I jumped up, grabbing a porcelain angel that kept guard over the photograph of him with Edward Sr. and Elizabeth before it could snap under the pressure of the fall.
"Edward! What are you doing?"
He grabbed a few more random decorations, tossing them around my hands that protectively cradled the beautiful keepsake.
"None of this stuff is really me anyway, Bella. This is all Esme. Anything of yours belongs on these shelves a hell a lot more than," he picked up some glass block with a Chinese emblem embellished deeply inside the glass, "a piece of glass that has a symbol in a language I don't even know and would never choose for myself."
He tossed it in the box, resulting in the unmistakable sound of some of the more delicate decorations shattering under the new weight.
I quickly set the angel down gently and turned again to grab his hands. "Stop, Edward, these are too nice to destroy just to make a point."
He shrugged, moving the last of the items in his hand to the box. He placed them inside more gently before turning back, taking my face between his hands.
"We can redecorate. You can ask Aunt Esme to help if you want, but just know that I could give a shit about any of the things in this apartment. It's all just stuff that I didn't even pick out myself, with the exception of the things in my room. I want you here with me, and I want your stuff all over this place. Got it?"
I smiled and nodded.
He leaned forward to kiss my forehead before shifting down to place a sweet lingering kiss on my mouth.
I wrapped my hands up to bury in his hair, relaxing into his touch, not breaking away until the sound of clearing throats behind us startled me.
I turned to see Emmett, Rose, Jasper, Alice, and Andy all smirking at us from the kitchen doorway. Em spoke up first.
"About time, I always thought the decorations in here were a bit girly for you anyway, man."
Jasper snorted and Edward rolled his eyes as they all stepped into the room. They began to pull things out of boxes, asking me if there's a specific place I would like something to go. I told them to put things wherever they thought they fit best and I'd rearrange later if I didn't like it. I'm not really picky. I turned back around picking up the porcelain angel gently, replacing her next to the picture of his family.
"I always loved this one. It's perfect."
Edward came up beside me, taking my Mickey Mouse picture frame from its current position, and sitting it on the other side of the angel.
"Now it's perfect. She can watch over both of our families now."
I looked over at him through watery eyes and smiled. "Thank you."
He shook his head and kissed my temple, wrapping his arm around my shoulder with a squeeze. I rested my head on his shoulder, looking at the pictures of our families before our lives were both completely blown to smithereens. In so many ways, our lives were similar. We had both suffered great loss, bearing deep scars from the trauma. We were also balms for one another, slowly healing the pain together.
Next, I picked up the blown glass fountain, sitting it on a shelf closer to the window where it would catch the light. I stepped back, observing it with a sigh.
"That's really pretty," Alice sighed next to me as she handed me a stack of photos in frames to be placed in new locations.
"Thanks, it was the first delicate thing my mom ever bought for me. I felt like I was finally growing up when she let me keep it in my room. Considering my proclivity for clumsiness and destruction, it's a miracle it survived this long!"
Everyone listening in chuckled. We all worked together, finding homes for my belongings. It seemed as though everything had a story. They all listened with rapt attention as Emmett and I would tease and laugh over old memories surrounding little bottles of sand with shells from Florida, and my snowflake made of salt from our visit to Salt Lake City. I hadn't even realized how much I missed these stories. While it made me sad, it was nice to share memories of my youth with my new family; my Edward, my boys, and my girls.
We worked hard all day that Saturday, managing to get most things put away. Edward even allowed the girls to enter our bedroom to put away my clothes. Finally, when the day was done, we thanked everyone by buying pizza. After saying goodbye, we shuffled into our bedroom, collapsing on our bed with a tired sigh.
"I'm tired," I moaned next to Edward.
He reached over and wrapped an arm under my shoulders, rolling my body toward him. He wrapped his other arm over my shoulder to secure me to his side with a sigh.
"Me too, but I'm so glad you're finally officially here." He looked down with tired sparkling eyes. "I love you, Bella."
I smiled back, reaching up to stroke his cheek. "I love you, too."
I curled into his side, looking around at the chaos of the bedroom, wondering how on earth I'll ever be able to get everything put away in this room. Every square inch was covered in sports paraphernalia. Then I started thinking about the space still available in the living room.
"Hey Edward, is it crucial that all of this stuff stays in here?"
He looked over, a worried expression marring his perfect face.
I smiled, running my hand through his hair comfortingly. I rolled to rest on top of him so we could look face to face as I chuckled.
"Don't panic, I'm not going to throw out your goodies. I just thought that maybe we could move some of it out into the living room. There's a lot of spare space. I think our whole house should be your sanctuary, not just this room. Would you be okay with that?"
He smiled and nodded. "That would be fine. I think it's time to change things up. Oh, and I wanted to say straight out that this place is as much yours as mine. I know you; you're going to be reluctant to invite people over because of my whole 'inner sanctum' rules of the past, but you don't have to do that. This is your home. I expect you to consider it as such. So if you want the girls over, then invite them. If you want to have a housewarming party or something, then we'll do it. Okay?"
I smiled and nodded before leaning down to kiss him. We kissed a while until exhaustion overtook us. We shed our clothes in order to sleep in our underwear then slid under the sheets. We fell quickly into a deep sleep.
Sunday we slept in, spending the remainder of the day finding new homes for some of his bedroom keepsakes in other places of the house, while moving a few more of my things into our bedroom to help make it mine too. He helped me finish unpacking my clothes, becoming particularly pleased when he came across a box full of lingerie that Rose had purchased for me throughout her relationship with Emmett. Edward made me promise to try on each one for him later before pulling me to bed and distracting us from our job for a while.
After fooling around a bit, we rested for a while before I had to get back up and get ready for work. Today marked the beginning of another week of night shifts. Unfortunately, this time Edward would be working during the day while I was off, meaning we wouldn't be seeing much of one another for the next week. It made leaving him to start my shift that first night very hard.
Monday I didn't get to go to sleep right away after getting off of work because Tanya arrived. I ended up helping her jump through the hoops to apply for the ER records job. I took her to Rose's apartment to check things out before taking her back to the train station to ride back to Minnesota.
After she was off again, I stumbled back to the apartment, passing out on top of the comforter, still wearing my scrubs. I didn't wake up until I felt Edward climb in behind me, cuddling close, after which I fell asleep again immediately. The alarm going off a few hours later was a highly unwelcome sound, but I managed to haul myself out of bed and into the shower to find Edward had a warm supper ready for me when I got out.
We cuddled and ate on the couch before he escorted me to work for the second night of my weeklong torture.
Word came down through the grapevine on Thursday that Tanya did in fact get the job. I asked Edward if he would be willing to bankroll a moving company to pack Tanya up and move her into her new place that Rose, Emmett and the boys managed to empty on their day off on Wednesday. Edward happily agreed. He was pleased that I asked him to do me a favor that had to do with money, even if the favor wasn't for me personally. I just rolled my eyes, feeling a bit annoyed with my less than ideal current schedule.
By the time Saturday morning rolled around, I stumbled out of the hospital into Edward's waiting arms. All I really wanted to do was climb into bed and sleep for the next two days, but unfortunately, that would not be possible today. I had time to get in an hour long nap before I would need to be in the shower and getting dressed for Emmett and Rosalie's wedding.
Edward anticipated my needs, handing me a bagel to eat as he led me to the Volvo that he unearthed just to drive me around today, knowing I would be too tired to walk home.
I inhaled the bagel. I remembered watching the city move past the window in one moment and then in the next I awoke in our bed to the sound of Edward's sweet voice in my ear. The smell of delicious, much needed coffee wafted under my nose. I moaned and whined before finally sitting up, taking the coffee from Edward, gulping it down greedily, ignoring the extreme heat.
"Talk about bad timing…having a week of graveyards before the wedding means I'm going to look like a freaking zombie in their wedding pictures!"
Edward chuckled, stroking my wild frizzy hair back from my face. "You look beautiful, my love, even when you are exhausted. Go grab your shower, sweetheart. I'll fix you a snack. We need to leave in an hour."
I sighed, rolling out of bed in a daze. I showered, dried my hair, curling it meticulously before pinning up the sides. I carefully applied my makeup, taking an extra long time smoothing concealer over my violet ringed eyes.
I slid into the purple wrap dress that was very similar to the dress I wore at the beach house except, this was more fall like with ¾ length sleeves. I slid on a pair of hose and the matching shoes the girls made me buy, before stepping into the hallway. I clicked my way loudly toward the kitchen, where I could hear Edward banging some pots and pans.
When I walked in, he turned to look at me with a bright smile.
"See…gorgeous."
I smiled, offering a weak thanks. I hopped up on the barstool at the counter, picking up the sandwich waiting for me along with chips and drink. Edward sat next to me and talked to me while I ate.
When I was done and had my purse in hand, Edward offered me his arm, leading me down the hall to the elevator with a smile.
We met the rest of the group in front of City Hall, where Rosalie was nervously fidgeting with everyone's clothes, griping about the fact that Emmett wore the wrong socks. It would have been humorous if I hadn't been so tired. Thankfully, she left me alone. If she started criticizing me, I probably would have flipped out on her, not the best thing to do to a bride on her big day.
We all walked in together. Rose and Em disappeared into an office to take care of the business end of the arrangements, while the rest of us waited in the hallway.
"Wow, and I thought Alice was bad," Edward whispered in my ear.
I leaned over to him, "Yeah, well, I think the pregnancy hormones may be ramping up her crazy factor!"
We snickered together as the two emerged from the office again, looking wide-eyed and anxious. The girls pulled Rose away to the restroom for one last hair and make up check. We were also trying to help calm her nerves while the guys congregated around Emmett. I was almost sure I saw Jasper slip him a silver flask. They better not get him drunk was all I could say!
We disappeared behind the doors to the ladies room. The flurry began as Rose fluttered nervously in front of the mirror, pacing back and forth in front of the stalls, jabbering nonstop about socks and flasks. Apparently, she was aware that the boys were bolstering him with liquid courage. She was pissed off that she couldn't share.
Fifteen minutes later, we had her calmed. She appraised us critically before allowing us to emerge from the bathroom, exiting right behind us.
Five minutes later, their names were called. We walked into the judges chambers where they had the super short ceremony that legally bound them and then it was over. All the fuss and stress for ten minutes and then it was done.
Everyone hugged. While I was happy for them, I couldn't be as gleeful as I should have been due to my utter exhaustion. I had been roped into an extra long shift the day before, thanks to an incoming multi car pileup. I hadn't gotten much sleep before having to go back in for the last graveyard of the week. To say I was tired would be a gross understatement.
After we left City Hall, we made our way across town to dine at a fancy little restaurant I had never eaten at before. The food was good, but I could barely appreciate it as I struggled to stay awake at the table. As soon as dessert was served, Edward explained why I was so out of it and said he better get me home. We gave hugs all around and Edward wrapped his arm around me, helping to support my weight out to the car. He helped me get settled then slid behind the wheel to drive us home.
Once again, I woke up in our room on Sunday morning not knowing how I got there. I could feel Edward's comforting warmth snuggled to my back, his arm around my waist. I rested my arm on his, lacing our fingers as I felt him tighten his grip on my waist.
A few hours and a few rounds of make up for lost time lovin' later, we finally rolled out of bed. We shuffled into the living room in our pajamas and robes. I settled onto the couch with the paper while Edward brewed us up a fresh pot of coffee and grabbed some muffins out of the pantry.
I read through the first two pages before I froze, jumping up and running into the kitchen. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Tell you what, babe?" Edward replied, looking confused.
"That they caught Trager!" I yelled holding the paper up for him to see.
He grabbed it from my hand, reading over it quickly. "Wow, I didn't know. I'm surprised they didn't tell us. I guess they didn't want to disturb the wedding."
I grabbed the collar of his robe in my hands. "Don't you know what this means, Edward? We're free! No more playing spy versus spy, no more armed escorts everywhere I go, no more being paranoid that I'm being followed with every step I take! We're free!"
He laughed, scooping me up in his arms, and sitting me on the counter in front of him. He stepped between my legs, putting a hand on either side of the counter. He tipped up, kissing me before pulling back with his hands on my thighs.
"I still want you to be careful, though. We really don't know for sure that there weren't others involved in this. It's Emmett's theory that he was acting alone, but we don't know that for sure..."
I pouted and Edward smiled, reaching up to tap my lip. He tipped my head back up to look him in the eyes. "but we can definitely relax some now that he's in custody."
I squealed, throwing my arms around his neck.
He laughed again before stepping away to grab two mugs of coffee, handing me one while he sipped the other. He sat a plate of muffins beside me on the counter that we both nibbled on while we talked.
"Well, personally, I think this calls for a celebration! Let's get the hell out of here! Let's go to Lincoln Park again or something. I want to be out in the open, breathing fresh air, and feeling the sun and wind on my face!"
He laughed, stepping forward again to lace his arms around my waist.
"Your wish is my command."
We spent the rest of the day at Lincoln Park. We hit the zoo first, wandering through the exhibits and checking out the newest additions to the park. After that, we went to the conservatory to look around again before taking a long walk along the beach, staying out until the sun had nearly disappeared from the sky.
We grabbed supper out before coming home to find a message waiting on the home phone line. We both looked at one another in confusion, checking our cells to see if we missed a call. Messages were rarely ever left on the land line since most everyone would try our cell phones next and leave messages there instead.
Edward hit the button that played our horribly cheesy, yet hopelessly sweet joint message before the message left behind.
(Bella speaking is between asterisks )
"Hi you've reached Edward *and Bella. We can't answer the phone right now* it is very possible what you think is going on right now is correct, but then again we might just be gone (Edward chuckles and you hear the audible smack of me hitting his arm before I giggle too) *Please leave a message after the beep and we'll get back to you as soon as we can.*"
The beep sounded, followed by Elizabeth's amused voice.
"That was quite funny, you two. So I take it you took the plunge and moved in already. I think that's wonderful. I just wanted you to know that when Tanya moves to Chicago next week, I will be coming with her to help, and hopefully spend some time with you. I also have plans to connect with Esme. I was actually hoping we might make a group event out of it. Esme invited me over next Thursday at six. I hope you can come. Please give me a call if you think you might have some free time next week to spend together on our own while I'm there. I love you, Edward. I look forward to seeing you again soon too, Bella. Bye."
I looked at Edward who stood as still as a statue, staring at the machine. His face flashed with conflicting emotions. Since the big confrontation, he and Elizabeth had spoken twice. While very friendly, the relationship was still a bit strained. Some of the ease of the first night faded once all of the facts fully integrated into Edward's mind. He now had less resentment over why she left, but now new ones had emerged. One of the biggest was the fact that he felt that if she really wanted to be a part of his life, she would have tried much harder to contact him. Instead, she tried one less than stellar attempt and gave up, that didn't sit too well with him.
I reached over, rubbing his back in large comforting circles. His hands fisted and released a couple of times before he reached into his pocket for his cell phone. He pulled it out, dialing a number. Looking over at me appreciatively, he took my hand before leading me to the couch. He pulled me down next to him when he began to speak.
It didn't take long to ascertain he was talking to Esme. As he talked, I rubbed soothing circles on his back while his hand did the same on the back of my hand. When he hung up, he turned to me slowly.
"So, please tell me you'll be free Thursday night. I really could use you there."
I smiled and nodded. "I'll trade if I have to, but I think I should be okay. Extra shift time should be done tomorrow."
He sighed loudly in relief before wrapping his arm around me, pulling me into his side, kissing my hair.
"This may be intense. I don't know. Aunt Esme is still really upset. I have a feeling she's not going to take this all as well as I did, which is ironic in a way. I think she was relieved that we were invited. I have a feeling she's going to need all of the moral support she can get."
I nodded with a yawn.
He smiled down at me. "Sleepy again, my love?"
I nodded again, lacking the energy to even use my voice.
He chuckled as he stood up, grabbing me by the waist and throwing me over his shoulder. Normally, I would put up a bit of a fight even if I was enjoying it, but tonight I was not even willing to expend energy for that. That was until he smacked my butt, at which point I jumped and yelled.
He laughed. "Just making sure you're still alive back there. You usually throw a fit when I do this."
I sighed, reaching down to smack him on the right cheek. He jumped and yelped before laughing again. He set me down on the bed, helping me strip out of my clothes and shoes, before tucking me under the covers and disappearing into the bathroom.
The next week flew by. On Tuesday, the movers arrived in Chicago ahead of schedule. Tanya and Elizabeth were still three hours away, so Rose went over to let them in. She did her best to tell them where to put the furniture and boxes based on how they were labeled. Once they were done, she locked up and went back to work on unpacking her and Emmett's things at their apartment.
When I got off work, Edward was there to pick me up. We both ran back to our place to change before going over to help Tanya unpack.
Elizabeth excitedly hugged us when we arrived. We returned the hugs as best we could. Poor Edward just felt so conflicted when it came to her. We worked for several hours before excusing ourselves to get back to our place for a good night's rest.
Wednesday evening, Elizabeth asked once we arrived if we would mind if she and Edward went out for supper alone to talk while I stayed back to help Tanya.
Edward glanced at me anxiously. I caressed his hair supportively as I agreed; he followed Elizabeth anxiously out the door.
I looked around to find that Elizabeth and Tanya had been hard at work getting the place set up. They were down to a scant few boxes that needed unpacking. Tanya was busy working in her closet to get her clothes hung and put away, so I went to work in the bathroom.
I was on my third box full of things for the medicine cabinet. I was sleepily pulling out boxes of cold medicine, pain relievers, and throat spray, when I pulled out a tall store brand bottle and froze when I read the label. My mind began to wander frantically for a few moments, my emotions going wild when I finally settled on one definitive emotion at the end of the ride…anger.
I grabbed the bottle in my hand, stepping out of the bathroom. I stalked into her bedroom at the end of the small hall.
"Tanya," she glanced up at me sweetly before seeing the bottle in my hand and blanching with wide eyes. "Does this mean what I think it means?" I questioned shaking the bottle of prenatal vitamins at her.
She stood up and crossed the room. She looked worried and upset, but most of all, apologetic.
"Yes, Bella, I'm pregnant."
"How far along?"
She stood silently fiddling with her shirt hem.
"How far along are you, Tanya?"
"Not quite four months," she barely whispered.
I felt my anger grow stronger.
"Why didn't you tell us?"
At first, she looked scared, then defeated as she slumped on the bed.
"I was scared. I was afraid you'd hate me if I admitted it after the whole Edward thing. I really liked you, and then you did all of these wonderful things to help me out. I just didn't have the heart to tell you."
"So, I'm assuming that whole misunderstanding to begin with wasn't quite as much of a misunderstanding as we originally thought. You were desperately trying to find a daddy for junior and were going to what? Trick Edward into thinking it was his?"
Her eyes grew wide as her head shot up.
"NO! No, no, no, I wouldn't do that! I was just hoping that he would still care about me. I had delusions that maybe he would fall in love with me and help me raise the baby. I would never trick him into believing it was his when it wasn't. I promise you." She began shivering on her bed. Her breath hitched a few times as though she were about to cry.
I groaned, pinching the bridge of my nose between my fingers, having picked up the habit from Edward. My other hand still held the vitamins in a tight grip, resting on my hip. I sighed deeply as I heard her hitching breaths give way to actual sobs as she began to apologize over and over in a squeaky voice.
"Okay, okay...calm down. I believe you. I'm still pissed as hell, but I believe you. Who is the real father anyway?"
She took a couple of deep breaths to calm her sobs before she finally sighed and closed her eyes, shaking her head in self-disgust.
"Larry…the baby is Larry's. He came back and gave me this sob story about how he really did love me, missed me, and wanted me back. Stupid me, I let him back in. Nothing changed though. He was same old Larry. When I found out I was pregnant, he just laughed at me, suggesting I get an abortion and disappeared again."
She started to cry and I couldn't help but sit down next to her and place a comforting arm on her shoulder.
"I…I didn't know what to do. I was barely making it on my own, much less trying to take care of a baby, but I couldn't kill it either! I just couldn't! So here I am, alone, with a baby I can't care for, mooching off friends who deserve better, and with not a single clue how to make it better."
I sighed, holding her shoulders as she sobbed for the next hour. She went on to tell me more about how abusive Larry had been and how he had broken her down so badly that she didn't believe in herself anymore. He had completely obliterated her self-esteem to the point where she didn't even try to leave, thinking that she was pathetic and useless. His leaving her pushed her to stand on her own two feet again. She was disgusted at how weak she had been to take him back to begin with.
We didn't even hear when Edward and Elizabeth returned; unaware of their presence until Edward's voice filled the air with worry when he asked what was wrong. Edward and Elizabeth settled on the bed around us. Tanya explained the whole situation in tears. An hour later, Edward and I left for home as she settled into Elizabeth's comforting arms.
We drove home in a bit of shock until I finally broke the silence.
"How did things go with Elizabeth?"
He sighed. "Not too bad. Let's just say it was good that I was the one to go out. I can't imagine how things would have gone if I'd been the one to discover those pills and put everything together."
I took a deep breath, reaching up to massage my throbbing temples with my fingers, trying to alleviate the raging headache that had developed over the past couple of hours.
"I was so pissed at first, thinking that the whole mess with you was really about trying to rope you into helping her raise that baby. Once I heard the rest of the story, I can't help but feel bad for her, though. Yeah, what she did was wrong, but if it were me would I really do any differently?"
"Of course you would," Edward immediately piped up.
I shook my head. "The Bella standing before you now, having the life that I have would, but if I'd been the one married to man who beat me down for years and brainwashed me to believe I was worthless and incapable…I'm not so sure I wouldn't. Desperate people do desperate things. Until you've walked a mile in that person's shoes, you have no idea what you would be capable of."
He sighed, taking my hand, kissing the back gently.
"I guess you're right. You are too damn smart, you know that!"
I chuckled, resting my head against the seat, watching the streetlights streak by was we drove home. Edward had gotten in the habit of driving his car a lot more often these days, just one more anal retentive tendency that he seemed to be slowly releasing.
Work on Thursday was hectic. Dr. K began us on a new rotation in pediatrics. I loved working with kids, but some of these poor babies were in so much pain that it was hard to diagnose them through the wails and panic. I was completely drained and totally relieved to see Edward leaning against the door of the Volvo.
He drove me home where we showered and dressed for the evening. As a sneaky form of distraction for Edward, I chose to wear the ice blue wrap dress from that night at the beach house with a more sensible pair of kitten heels.
He smiled his crooked smile, shaking his head when he walked into our bedroom. I was standing in front of the dresser, trying to put a necklace around my neck. He stepped behind me to help. I pulled my hair out of the way as he latched the clasp before wrapping his arm around my waist, pulling me close, and kissing my neck.
"Hmmm…nice distraction technique, Swan. I just hope it doesn't backfire. The way you look and the memories I have of you and this dress, I might just end up dragging you up to my old bedroom to fulfill a few teenage fantasies."
I chuckled with a moan as his hands began to roam. His mouth became more insistent on my neck. It only took a few seconds for both of us to get a bit too wound up. He finally released me with a groan of annoyance, before taking my hand, leading me to the foyer.
He reached for my coat, holding it for me to slide on. He was going into full gentleman mode for the benefit of Esme and Elizabeth, and thus began my night full of open doors, coat assistance, held chairs, and fetched drinks. If it were not for the stressful situation, I would probably have laughed and teased him, but instead I graciously accepted every gesture. I continually kept a supportive hand on his forearm, back, thigh, shoulder, hand, and so on. I made the decision up front that I would keep my calming presence near him all night long, no matter what.
Esme, always the gracious hostess, sat rigidly with us in the parlor with a tray of hors d'ourves on the table between us, offering each of us drinks of which we all partook gratefully. The quiet was deafening. The tension between the sisters was so thick, I felt at times as though I couldn't even breathe.
Carlisle broke the tension by addressing me with a work question.
"So, Bella, I heard that today you started your rounds in pediatrics. I know we had discussed making that your focus, how did you feel about your first day?"
I answered honestly that it was far more difficult than I had imagined, explaining some of the difficulties I had faced. Yet still knowing that, I felt drawn to that area in spite of the hurdles I had encountered. We discussed pediatrics a bit longer before the discussion died out and we were once again left in silence.
A few seconds later, a timer went off in the kitchen. Esme announced that the roast should be done, asking us all to move to the dining room while she sliced it and brought it to the table. I offered to help, but she dismissed me with a sad smile, disappearing into the kitchen.
The four of us who remained quietly transferred to the dining room. Edward squeezed my hand tightly as we walked as I squeezed back reassuringly. When we reached the table, he held my chair for me and I sat down, casting him a grateful smile. He settled down next to me.
"Oh, Edward, I am so pleased to see what wonderful manners you have. You really are quite the gentleman. I'm glad you remembered some of what your father and I taught you."
In that instant, we heard the sound of breaking porcelain from the doorway where a livid looking Esme stood. The pot roast and shattered antique china serving tray was scattered at her feet.
"What you taught him? What YOU taught him?You were always such a selfish person, Elizabeth, but to believe that much of anything you taught him remains in that boy, is beyond conceited."
"Esme, I wasn't saying…"
Esme interrupted her. I felt Edward tense next to me.
"Stop, Elizabeth…just Stop! This conversation has been a long time coming! Edward told me everything you told him to explain away your actions so long ago. Honestly, I'm surprised he swallowed it so willingly. I, however, have known you all of my life. I know you are so full of shit that it isn't even funny!"
If I hadn't been so busy trying to calm my vibrating boyfriend, I would have been shocked that Esme said 'shit,' but I had bigger fish to fry.
The sisters started in as over forty years of grievances were aired over the dinner table of quickly cooling food. Carlisle, Edward, and I watched the train wreck, wincing occasionally, throwing one another and Esme comforting glances and gestures.
Esme was the epitome of a mama bear. She called Elizabeth out for her choices one at a time, providing one example after another of how she had always been a selfish creature, and that in a twisted way, she's grateful that Elizabeth's selfishness led to Edward being raised by she and Carlisle because who knows how he would have turned out if Elizabeth were more involved.
Elizabeth defended herself weakly. Esme brilliantly tore her flimsy excuses to shreds, hitting every one of Edward's biggest resentments one after another. I watched on in awe as Esme did what I only wished I could. It would change nothing, but it still felt somewhat vindicating to see Elizabeth really having to answer for her actions.
"I tried to contact him, Esme. I sent…"
Esme cut her off once more with such venom that I personally was even a little frightened.
"Bullshit, Elizabeth! You didn't try that hard or you would have found him. You could have at least tried sending something here on the chance we would give it to him, but no. You could have tried again later for a new address, he owns the damn building he's currently living in, his address is a matter of public record, but no…you sent a couple of flimsy sad notes to a temporary campus address and gave up. If you really wanted to find him you could quite easily have done so. No, Elizabeth, you didn't really want to find him because then you would be forced to own up to your decisions and answer for them."
She sat down in her seat at the other end of the table, taking in a deep breath and letting it out in a slow sad sigh.
"You broke him, Elizabeth. You had the most precious gift any woman can ever be given, a wonderful, kind hearted, sweet, caring son, and you just threw him away because you were too selfish to get over yourself and do what you should do. You left that little boy fractured in a million tiny pieces, he was never the same again. I did my best to be the mother he deserved, to help piece together his tiny shatter psyche, but there was only so much I could do. It took seventeen years and this beautiful girl," she looked up at me with love in her eyes, reaching her hand out to squeeze mine on top of the table, "to finally break through his barriers to reach him and help finish piecing him together again. And now…now that he's finally opened his heart again, begun to really live life again, begun to believe in other people, and trust them…NOW you pop up and try to take credit for things that you completely destroyed in him."
I could feel his tears before I saw them. I glanced over to see his watery eyes watching Esme with such softness and love. There was no doubt in my mind or his, Elizabeth gave birth to him and will always be his mother, but Esme had been and will forever be his Mom.
"Elizabeth, I hope you truly are happy now. I hope that you really do understand how much you missed out on with your son…our son. It's between you and Edward what the two of you do or do not share together as far as a relationship. Perhaps some day you and I will learn to reconnect again, but I'm afraid it will not happen tonight. I hate to be rude, but my nerves will not allow me to share your company any more this evening. Would you please be so kind as to leave of your own accord?"
With that, Esme got up and walked out the door, disappearing up the stairs with the light patter of her feet. Carlisle expressed his apologies for the way the night unfolded, excusing himself to check on his wife. Elizabeth stood slowly and sighed.
"I knew it would be difficult. She has many reasons to feel those things about me," she said staring at the table before shifting her face up to Edward. "I do hope that some day both of you will give me the opportunity to make some type of amends." She swallowed hard. "I will be taking my leave now. My train leaves early in the morning, so I probably won't see you again before then."
She slowly walked toward our side of the table. Edward and I stood as she approached. She placed a hand on his arm.
"I love you, my Edward. Please take care of yourself."
She shifted her gaze to me. "Bella, please take care of my boy. You're probably the only one who really can."
We nodded to one another. Edward and I watched in shock as she walked away from us to the front door, disappearing into the night.
I reached up to rub large circles in the center of Edward's back as Elizabeth left. Once the door latched, Edward turned to me with sad, tired eyes. I reached up to caress his cheek.
He leaned into my hand before reaching his arms around my waist, pulling me into a tight needful hug.
I ran my right hand into his hair, stroking gently while the other massaged the muscles in his shoulder.
I could feel the moisture of his tears soaking through my dress. He trembled in my arms as I whispered in his ear until he finally began to relax and calm down, loosening his uncomfortably tight hold on my waist.
After the longest time, he finally pulled away. He looked down at me, brushing his fingers across my cheek before leaning down to rest his forehead on mine.
"I'm so glad you could come. I don't think I would have made it through tonight without you. I love you."
I sighed, "I love you, too. There's nowhere else I would want to be."
We heard a tiny gasp from the far side of the room. We turned to see Esme and Carlisle standing there, watching us with soft looks on their faces. Edward let me go, crossing the room to pull Esme into a tight hug. He whispered in her ear something that made her face glow and her eyes swim with tears. She pulled him into a tighter hug, then pulled away to caress his cheek.
"I love you too, son of my heart."
We stayed to help clean up the mess. Before we left, Esme and I were working in the kitchen while the boys mopped the floor, using the shampooer on the large area rug that the dining table sat on. Esme walked up to face me, placing her hands on either side of my face.
"Thank you for brining my son back to me. I've always thought of you like a relative, but know that I love you so much more than I could ever say. For the rest of my days, I will consider you as much my daughter as I consider him my son."
I felt my eyes sting with the formation of tears, "Thank you, Esme. I love you like another Mom, and I love your son more than you could ever know."
She smiled, wiping away a fallen tear from my cheek as she patted it gently.
"I know dear. I know."
She released me, turning back to the sink. I wiped at the tear escaping the other eye, fanning my face to chase away the tears, Edward didn't need to see them on this already emotional day.
On our drive home from Esme and Carlisle's, I asked Edward what he said to Esme.
He smiled brightly at me. "I just said, 'I love you, Mom. You may not have given birth to me, but you are the best Mom anyone could ever have.'"
I gripped his hand tighter, smiling as we made our way back home together, the last missing pieces of our puzzles firmly in place.