"To un-explain the unforgivable, drain all the blood and give the kids a show. By streetlight this dark night, a séance down below. There're things that I have done, you never should ever know! And without you is how I disappear, and live my life alone forever now" - My Chemical Romance "This is How I Disappear"

39 Emotional Unload

That night, I dreamed about my father.

There was a mighty battle. I was watching my father fight. His skills were unmatched by his opponent. I couldn't help but feel a twinge of pride as he took down his foe's team, thinking, that's my dad. I'm going to be just like him when I grow up.

Cináed had an Arcanine, a beautiful, powerful creature that was clearly the strongest of his team. It was the most fantastic Pokemon I had ever seen. When he commanded it, the bracelet on his wrist lit up with a warm glow, causing its moves to be even more powerful than usual. I was absolutely fascinated.

The battle was won. Cináed—no, Dad—came over to me, his Arcanine following majestically. "How did you like that, son?" he asked, giving me a cocky, sideways smile.

"It was the most amazing battle I've ever seen!" I exclaimed, my eyes shining. I felt like I was four years old, admiring my father like he was the shining light every father should be. I could honestly see the glow radiating off him.

Dad grinned even wider. It was like he had always wanted to hear me say that. I suppose being adored by one's son is the true meaning of fatherhood. "Would you like to see more?" he offered.

I could have flown, I was so happy. "Show me everything," I whispered.

And he did. It was exactly like it should have been, father teaching son how to battle, giving me all the tips and tricks that had won him so many battles.

"You've got to be quick," he'd said. "I prefer speed over brute strength."

Most of what he told me I already knew, but I didn't care. I loved every second with him. After he gave me all his battle techniques, which I'm sure took a millennium, he spun the stories of his youth.

"When I was ten," he said, grinning, "and had just received Growlithe as my starter, I took off immediately. Aunt Nerina rolled her eyes and said I'd be back, but I assured her I'd be fine. I got just outside of Lavender before I got scared and ran straight back to her." He laughed. "She was standing on the doorstep with her hands on her hips, looking at the neighbors and saying 'See? I told you'."

I laughed along with him. He told me tales of his dearest friends, Troy and Christian, whom he met in Saffron, and how the three of them tricked a crazy old man into thinking he'd caught the biggest Magikarp in the lake, when it was really one of them yanking on his line.

"…and then the bus driver said, 'Alright, everyone on the bus is green. Now, light green in the front, dark green in the back!'" Dad broke down in fits of laughter, and I did too. It was probably the funniest, most racist story I'd ever heard. I made a mental note to tell it to Drew. He'd enjoy it.

After our chuckles died away, I looked at him with glowing eyes and asked the question I'd always been afraid to ask Mom. And no, it wasn't that question you creepers.

"How did you meet Mom?" I asked. I felt like a teenage girl doing so, but I'd always wondered, and Mom had never wanted to tell me.

Dad sighed happily. "I was going back to Johto to defend my Championship title," he said, and his voice was dreamy. His eyes glazed over as he remembered. "She had that house all to herself, and all she ever did was garden and clean. She lived off her vegetables and, if she needed anything else, she would sell them in town. I walked by, and I told her that her tomatoes were the best-looking tomatoes I'd ever seen."

I nodded, begging him to continue.

"She blushed and giggled, and I decided it was the cutest giggle I'd ever heard. I was instantly in love. There were a lot of women in my life, Ash, don't get me wrong, but she was the only one that made me feel like that," Dad assured me. "She was filling her basket with vegetables to take into town, and asked me if I could carry them for her. I said absolutely, who wouldn't want to help a pretty little thing like her?"

He paused. "I took her to Johto with me," he said. "She had fun and enjoyed watching me battle, but I could tell she missed that little garden. So we went back as soon as we could, and then… Delia got pregnant." He blushed, but I didn't care. "I… I had a ring picked out for her. I wanted to marry her so badly, and I would have, except my mother came to me in a dream and told me that I had to kill Yacaeli if you were to live a true life."

I blinked. So that was why he left. He was going to marry Mom. He wanted to. But his destiny came first. It was terrible. To think that I could have had a family, and perhaps even a little brother or sister, hurt in a place I'd never really noticed before. Now that I was picturing it, I honestly wanted it. It would have been so, so perfect.

I shook myself. I needed to change the subject, and ask my only other question. "What about the bracelet?" I said, shaking my wrist. The golden band still rested on it, a perfect replica residing on my father's. "Where did it come from?"

Dad glanced down at his wrist. "Aunt Nerina said Mom left it for me to have, so I'm not really sure. My theory is that Ho-oh's Sacred Fire is stored in it, and that's what makes fire moves extremely powerful. Apparently my father, Michael Everett, was a real Ho-oh fanatic and gave this to my Mom as a parting gift when she went up the mountain."

"Did you ever meet your father?" I asked softly.

He shrugged. "Once or twice. They locked him up in the psych ward after Mom died."

Jeez, my family was frickin' screwed up. Amazing what you find out when you start asking questions. Next thing he'll tell me is that we're inbred, I'll bet.

"My time's almost up," he said somberly, and he stood up.

I jumped to my feet. "Will I see you again?" I pleaded.

Dad shrugged again. "I can't be sure. Maybe," he replied. He stepped forward and pulled me into a fatherly hug. "I really wish I could've seen you grow up, Ash. I really, really do. Do me a favor, will ya?" he asked with liquid eyes. It looked like my father was about to cry.

"Okay," I assured him. "What?"

My father reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a small black box. "Give this to your mother."

I nodded, not even pausing to think that this was a dream, and that there was no way I could give it to her. I smiled at him, gave him one last hug, and then woke with only two thoughts in mind.

The first was I had to present the tiny little box in my hand to my mother, and explain to her how it got there.

The other was, When I get back to Kanto, I'm going to get an Arcanine.

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The boat ride was long and boring. We didn't stop in the mainland, and headed straight for Pallet. I stayed on the deck the entire ride, enjoying the spray of the sea and the fresh air tearing through my hair. Pikachu resided on my shoulder, content to be going home.

Many conversations reached my ears as I stood on the deck. I guess no one could see me standing out on the stern. That or they just didn't think I was in earshot. This is one that passed between Paul and Drew:

"Are you gonna ask her out?" Drew questioned.

Silence from Paul.

"You said you would," he pestered.

Paul said nothing. I didn't turn around, but I think he had his book.

Drew made an exasperated sound. "Aw, come on, Paula! Don't be a girl about this. Just go ask her."

"Would you be quiet?" Paul said coldly.

"No," Drew replied. "I'm going to bother you until you ask Dawn on a date, like you said you would."

"Don't you have a bandana to give back to Lady May?" he growled.

I pictured Drew blushing. "You just had to bring that up, didn't you?"

"It's not my fault you flunked eighth grade English," Paul replied coolly.

"How come you're such a coward about this?"

"I'm not a coward." Paul was bristling.

I could hear Drew's trademark smirk with a flip of his bangs. "Prove it."

Paul sighed. I imagined him setting down his book and putting his face in his hands. "I already asked," he said in a low voice.

"And?" Drew prompted. "Are you going to take her on a moonlit stroll down the beach? Or perhaps a—."

"She said no."

"She said no?" he repeated in disbelief.

Paul said nothing. I couldn't believe it. Why would Dawn say no to Paul? Dawn was head over heels for him!

I heard Drew lean back in his chair. "I'm sorry," he said.

Again, Paul was silent. For some reason, I was certain this rejection from Dawn was tearing him apart inside. Jeez, I sound like a girl, saying this, and Paul sounds even girly-er, but it's true. Guys have feelings too, and we can get crushed just as easily as girls can. We just don't show it.

After a few more minutes of sitting in silence, Paul mumbled something about going to take a nap, and he grabbed his book and left. I turned around to see Drew pull May's bandana out of his pocket and set it on the table. After a moment he snatched it up again and strolled away.

I exchanged a few words with Pikachu about what we had just overheard, but suddenly Misty and May showed up and sat down at the same table, and I fell silent. Sure, it probably wasn't right to eavesdrop like I was, but I was really curious about what girls talked about when guys weren't around.

May was wearing her bandana, so it was safe to assume that she and Drew were on good terms.

"I think we got really lucky on the mountain, don't you?" May remarked.

"Oh yeah," Misty replied. "Can you imagine if one of us hit our period on that mountain?"

Okay, that was not what I was hoping to hear. I shook my head, trying to clear that from my thoughts. It wasn't working.

Abruptly, Dawn showed up, her arm done up in a proper cast, and the conversation took a turn for the gossip.

"Why did you turn down Paul?" Misty wanted to know. That's what I love about her. Right to the point, every time. Although, what she said on the mountain was still paining me. I wished more than anything we had stayed with Arceus for a little while longer.

I turned around, confident I could get away with watching this discussion, as they were extremely focused on each other. Dawn sat down slowly, her eyes trained to the table and her cheeks an odd pink color. "I… I can't go out with him," she whispered.

"Why not?" Misty demanded. "You like him, right?"

"I love him," she said, and I could hear sobs rising up in her throat.

"Then why did you say no?" May asked gently.

Dawn shook her head and rested it on her hand. "I killed him," she said in a harsh whisper. "I'm an evil, evil witch. He deserves better."

"You didn't kill him," said Misty. "A frickin' Mightyena killed him. And you broke its neck in return. You avenged him, and now he wants to go on a date with you. I think he likes you, Dawn. Why the hell did you turn him down?"

Her shoulders were shaking. "I just feel s-so guilty," she sobbed. "I can't look at him without hating myself. It's too painful. I should die."

The other two were silent as their friend cried. Finally, May placed her hand on her shoulder, causing her to look up. "Dawn," she said in a soft voice, "did you ever think that this may be your second chance? That maybe, just maybe, someone wants you to be happy? I wasn't raised to believe in God, but I certainly think that He might be giving you another shot. Don't you?"

Dawn was very quiet. Even her sobs ceased. Misty glanced between May and Dawn in wonder. "Yeah," she agreed, nodding at May. "I think you're right. This is your second chance, Dawn. Don't blow it."

The blunette let out a shaky laugh. She wiped her eyes, smiling. "You are right," she said.

"'Course we are," May said, grinning. "We're your best friends."

"And now," Misty proclaimed as she stood from the table, "we're going to set right what you messed up." She grabbed Dawn by the wrist.

"Wait, what's going on?" Dawn cried.

May took hold of her other hand, laughing victoriously. "Paul's in his room, right?" she asked. Misty nodded.

"Oh, you are not doing this to me!" she exclaimed. "Some best friends you are!"

I watched them drag the struggling blunette into the living quarters of the ship, and had to laugh. Poor, poor Dawn.

Later on, Gary came out to talk to his grandfather. It was a very long conversation, so I won't tell the whole thing, but just the most significant piece.

"I saw Leaf," Gary said quietly.

Oak adjusted himself in his seat. "Ash told me."

"She's dead now."

The old man stiffened. "I… I know," he said slowly. Finally, he swallowed and managed to ask the question that was clearly driving him crazy. "How did that happen?"

"She gave her life for me," he said shortly.

"Ah," Oak said. "Ash left that part out." He paused. "You weren't on the mountain."

"No, but a part of me was," Gary said. "The part that held everything I knew about Leaf was there."

Oak blinked. "That doesn't make any sense."

"I know. But it's the truth." Gary was quiet for a long time. "I think I love her."

"Gary," Oak said gently, watching his grandson in sympathy, "I know that death is hard, especially when you're young. But, you see, that's the thing. You're young. You may have felt like you were 'in love', but I can assure you it was just you hormones. You will find someone else."

I winced on Gary's behalf. With a bitter expression he turned away from his grandfather. "For some reason, I thought you'd be more understanding."

Oak then got very angry at Gary, and I felt like an intruder listening to it. I managed to leave unnoticed, abandoning them to the setting sun and their own angry words.

*AN: One more chapter! Oh, it just makes me so happy! By the by, that song up there is my FAVE MCR song. If you want a good song, go listen to that. It's the best.

I'm going to write a book of myths for the Anumics, complete with Paul's commentary as he reads it. It'll be REALLY short, and it might take a while. I'm still going to repost my KH fic first, so if anyone's interested in reading that, it will be up shortly after Sky Cat is completed. Ta ta, my lovely readers! Until next chapter!*