The Doctor bounded off towards the TARDIS. Felix held the door open for Jane. "After you," he said, tipping his head slightly.

She cocked an eyebrow at him, "Don't condescend to me." She hitched her skirt to slightly abover her ankle and stepped into the box.

Felix rolled his eyes and muttered, "Don't condescend AT me," and followed her inside. Jane looked at once completely out of place- the cold metal and technological wiring clashed eerily with her long, flowing dress- and entirely at home- the look on her face told Felix she had been in here before. She certainly didn't seem phased at the size discrepancy between the interior and the exterior, something which had nearly floored Felix. She pulled out an I-phone from a concealed compartment in her dress.

"Oh my God," Felix said to no one in particular, "Jane Austen has a nicer phone than I do."

"I tried to capture a likeness of the beast, but he defied me," Austen explained, showing her phone screen to the Doctor: a severely blurry photograph, with only the faintest intimations of a humanoid somewhere near the centre.

"You haven't been flashing that about, have you?" Asked the Doctor, concerned, "You'll undo history."

"We can trade if you like," Felix suggested, pulling the brick of a Nokia that he'd had since he was fifteen, "This'd fit in in the Middle Ages."

"I have been the very soul of discretion." Jane told the Doctor, ignoring Felix entirely. "It has been trying though, Doctor: I really want to trounce someone at Words with Friends."

The Doctor studied the alleged photograph, "I've heard of Schimmers being a bit tricky to snap before, but this is something else: it's practically warping the lens. It must be a very, very advanced model. What would that be desperate to hide its shape?" He rubbed his chin and then glanced at the TARDIS console, "I hate doing this..."

"What?" Asked Felix and Jane in unison.

The Doctor spun on his heel and started ostentatiously jabbing at buttons, "A full-area Exo-biology scan." Once again, he flicked the pinwheel, "Should show me any lifeforms not native to Earth in the vicinity."

"Sounds pretty useful," said Felix.

"Not really. On any square mile of earth there's guaranteed to be at least forty three different species of quote unquote 'aliens'."

"That many?" Felix was incredulous.

"What do you think's in yoghurt?" The Doctor responded, and then glanced at the nearest monitor- it was lit up with green shapes that looked like Power Rangers villains to Felix. "Hmm...some Florans, Xylocks, Krilitane, a couple of Judoon, naturally, but none of those would use Schimmers...ah!" He pointed at a particular, indistinct blob. "There. A Jarofvex."

"A what?" Asked Austen.

"Imagine a mole with a harpoon for an arm."

"Eww." Felix grimaced.

"Okay then, don't," The Doctor replied, "But you're gonna see it anyway. We're gonna have to crack its Schimmer and stop it, whatever it's up to."

"Why?"

"Jarofvexes are seismovores- they eat the cores of planets. Normally, they just burrow straight down and chew, but something must be stopping it." He turned to glance at the screen again and then at Austen. "This Bixby woman, does she have a geothermal power plant on her estate?"

"I don't know what that is." Austen responded, folding her arms.

"Oh right, Regency England," The Doctor remembered, "Does she have a really deep pit?"

"No. The Bixby estate is appealing in its own way, if you appreciate ostentation, but there is nothing there that would call out to such a beast."

"Except Cassandra," Felix muttered.

"Well, we need to meet this girl and we need to see her house and we need to see her fiance and before all of that...we need to figure out how we met." He turned to Jane and made mock goo-goo eyes at her.

"Oh, Doctor, must we do this?" Jane sounded positively exasperated.

"You said yourself that Cassandra won't see you unless you've got a fiance, and we need to get inside. And we need a believable story. Felix," The Doctor turned to face his friend, "How did you meet your boyfriend? The alien one."

Austen's jaw dropped and her eyes bulged with shock, "Boyfriend?" She gasped.

"How is that the strange part?" Felix asked her. The Doctor coughed and Felix turned back to him, "We met online," he summarised.

"Alright, we'll tell them that." The Doctor clapped his hands together and rubbed them, satisfied.

"Doctor, Regency England," Felix reminded him.

"Oh right. We'll say we met at a ball, then." He decided.

"You'll need to make her think you have some kind of income. That you're a person of fashion. Cassandra will not condescend to meet with the disadvantaged, unless the world is watching." Austen told him.

"Don't worry, I have just the costume for that!" The Doctor called and ran off down one of the TARDIS' many stairwells.

Jane and Felix stood in silence for a few seconds, glancing at each other and then turning away when they thought they saw the other looking. Finally Felix said, "So, Words with Friends?"

"Yes, it's a game for the mind." Austen replied, "I don't imagine you'd enjoy it."