Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to the original Twilight characters.

Thanks as always to my validation beta Sassenach Wench.

A special thanks to our guest beta Nobel Korhedron for giving his opinions on this chapter!

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Focus Fluctuations

EPOV

From the moment the lights went out and I pulled down my night vision goggles shading the world in green, my entire body was trained on one thought and one thought alone. I had to save Bella. No matter what, Bella was my priority.

I heard the Alpha team yell out 'One Away' and turned my face, waiting for the flash bang to detonate. Once the light dissipated, Jasper and I, along with the rest of our Charlie team, burst through the doors from the hallway where I had touched Bella only a few hours before when she had come my way to grab the gurney for her patient.

The three entry teams converged in the center of the room, making a semicircle around Trager. To my utter horror, he had Bella wrapped in his arm with the Desert Eagle to her head, her hands held tightly in this. She struggled against his grip, fear and determination in her eyes.

My feet acted on their own volition, taking several steps closer, my body desperately needing to be closer to her. I noticed that I wasn't the only one advancing ahead of schedule. I knew Emmett, Jasper, and Andy were all having the same issues I was in keeping themselves professional with Bella in such great danger. This was exactly why they never allow officers with emotional ties to the situation to be in on a mission such as this. We shouldn't be here, but we wouldn't take no for an answer. Since the chief wasn't at ground zero, somehow we had slipped through the cracks.

Trager pushed the gun harder into my beautiful Bella's temple, freeing one of her hands. Her hand immediately darted into her pocket, coming back out brandishing something in her fist. I suddenly couldn't breathe when I realized what she was going to do. Fuck, was she trying to get herself killed? In the instant, it took for me to decode her actions, her hand came down with painful force. The needle clutched in her fist penetrated the denim covering Trager's leg. She shoved the plunger down hard with the flat of her palm, causing Trager to jerk reflexively in pain, pulling the gun away from her temple.

The whole world froze for me as I watched Bella kick into what could only be described as some sort of pseudo Lara Croft mode. In a few efficient moves, she knocked the gun out of Trager's hand, kicking it away with her foot, before dropping down to grab for the AK on the floor, shoving it spinning toward our feet to get it away from Trager. I looked back up just in time to see Trager's hand emerging from his pants with another weapon. Before I even registered what I was doing, or even scarier yet, the fact that Bella had noticed what he had grabbed out as well, I was lunging for it. I had pulled the trigger, lodging a bullet in his right shoulder, at which point he dropped what he was holding.

I watched as Bella dropped back to the floor, grabbing the device with the flashing red light that I now recognized to be a remote detonator for the C4 case hidden somewhere in the room.

Trager had also dropped into a low crouch, holding his shoulder protectively. I began to advance on his position, not having the patience to wait. At this point, I was being driven by pure unadulterated rage. I wanted the motherfucker to suffer for even thinking of putting a gun to my Bella's head.

I never saw the gun in his hand. I barely even heard Bella's scream. I was caught completely off guard when the blinding pain sliced through my upper chest on my left hand side before the pain morphed into what felt like an explosion. Then the world went black.

As I lay in the darkness, I had the overwhelming feeling that I was drowning. I struggled to take a breath, but couldn't. I could hear an angel talking above me as her hands separated my shirt from my body.

I listened intently as she gasped, whispering, "Oh God, angel's kiss...God no!"

I tried to open my eyes, but they wouldn't respond to my desires. I felt like my life was fading away from me, my body growing weaker by the second. Then I felt a stab in my chest, followed by an instant relief as my breath finally caught.

Now that I could breathe again, the rest of the pain that shot through my body suddenly came to the forefront, garnering my undivided attention. Pulling my eyes open, I discovered that my night vision goggles were still in place, causing the light now filling the room to blind me painfully.

I moaned, shifting as I felt her hands fluttering over my body as she pushed at me with wads of gauze, making the shooting pain worse. I willed myself not to scream or pull away, knowing that she was struggling to save my life.

I felt several pairs of hands reach down to restrain me. One set thankfully removed the goggles, allowing me to open my eyes and look at my angel fighting for my life. The only way I could make it through this was to watch her as she struggled frantically to stop the bleeding, causing pain to course through my body with every movement.

I finally found my voice, struggling to tell her how much I loved her. I could breathe now, but I still felt like I was growing weaker with each passing second. I wouldn't stay awake much longer. I needed her to know.

As I tried to tell her, my heart broke watching her focused professional exterior crumble before my eyes as the tears spilled over her eyelashes and traveled down her beautiful porcelain face. She was so damn beautiful. For several long seconds, I truly believed she really was an angel sent by God just for me.

She started to rant at me through her rough hiccupping sobs, as she demanded I stopped saying goodbye and telling me if I gave up on her, she'd never forgive me. The memory flashed through my mind as I remembered holding her in Andy's hospital room while he was in a coma, promising her that we wouldn't leave her. I promised her I wouldn't die and leave her behind. While my body was still weak and growing more faint by the second, my mind had kicked into overdrive. I had to fight for Bella. I couldn't disappoint her again.

I reached my hand up slowly to touch her cheek, trying to tell her without words that I wasn't going to leave her. I was going to get through this. Soon, others appeared around me. My angel of mercy was pulled away, kicking and screaming, while the new people took over, poking and prodding me, talking medical gibberish.

I began mumbling Bella's name, wanting them to bring her back, when an older gentleman leaned over me. He told me not to speak and to save my strength before pushing a needle into my arm, slowly releasing the medication into my bloodstream. I continued to mumble Bella's name, looking around for her as best I could from my place on the floor, before my body grew heavier and my mumbles faded to low hums.

I barely felt it as they shifted me off of the floor and onto the gurney, beginning to roll me away. The medication was doing its job taking away all sensation in my body. Just as the room was fading from my view, I felt the warm hum of Bella's hand on my arm and her lips on my forehead. I smiled. Even through the fog of pain numbing medication, I could still feel her, still hear her. Then I heard her desperate voice above the sounds of the people talking and the rollers of the gurney squeaking on the linoleum floors.

"I love you, Edward Anthony Masen! You fight for me...you hear me? I need you damn it, so fight for me!"

Although I couldn't form the words with my mouth, I answered her in my mind.

"I will, my love, I promise. Then, when I'm better, I'm going to marry you and make you mine."

Then the whole world went black again. I could no longer feel, see, or hear anything but my Bella.

EmPOV

We stood and watched as they wheeled Edward away. The further away the gurney got, the less Bella's legs seemed to be capable of holding her up. I slowly moved her toward the chairs near the hallway, away from Trager's body, to help her sit down. I tried my best to calm her down.

I had been amazed through the whole thing how calm and collected Bella had been. I had never seen anything like it, but now it seemed that everything she had pushed back over the past twelve hours was hitting her in a tidal wave. Her face went blank as she pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them protectively. She was shivering and rocking in place with tears streaming down her ghostly pale face. It was more than a little terrifying for me that while I had seen Bella freaked out and upset many times throughout her life, I had never seen her anywhere near the state she was in at that moment, not even when our parents died.

She rocked and chanted quietly to herself. I knelt before her, running my hands up and down her arms and calling her name trying to get her to look me in the eye instead of looking through me as though I weren't there. Officers kept approaching us, wanting her statement, as the room buzzed with people assisting the other patients and getting their statements. Meanwhile, a coroner's office crew worked on preparing Trager's body for transport.

Bella had been so focused on Edward and saving his life, that thankfully she hadn't even registered yet that the dead body of James had been just a few feet away from her the whole time. Her tunnel vision had kept her focused on saving Edward's life at that time, as opposed to the fact that she had taken James' life.

Truth of the matter was, less than a second later, one of the other five bullets that had embedded in his skull would have done the trick if the .50 cal from the gun Bella held from her hiding place beside him hadn't already taken care of him. It cut through both of his lungs and his heart as it made its way through his body, shooting out the other side, to bury itself in the exit sign above the door leading out to the street.

The murmur of the room stopped when the coroner entered. He lifted the sheet from the top of the body, declaring the scene a closed case. As soon as he made the final call, his people began to transfer Trager's body to the black body bag before moving it to the gurney for transport to the city morgue. As they pulled the zipper up around the body, it was as if somebody slapped Bella across the face. She instantly stood up and walked toward where the body was, shoving away my hand as I tried to stop her.

She moved to stand next to the gurney, a washed out, blank look on her face as she stared at the large body bag, which concealed the corpse of the criminal who threatened her life only minutes before. She reached a shaking hand out to pull back the black plastic covering his lifeless face. She stood frozen for a moment, the plastic in her hand vibrating noisily as her shaking increased. Then she let it drop back down, backing away a few steps, shaking her head. After backing about a foot away, she dropped to her knees and began to wail. I started toward her, but before I could get there, Jasper and Alice were dropped to her sides, wrapping her in their arms, rocking back and forth with her. She resumed her rhythm with her arms wrapped around herself as though she were trying to hold her own body parts together.

I took a few steps closer. I could finally make out what she was whispering repeatedly.

"Oh God, I killed him. I killed a man. I'm supposed to save lives, not take them. Oh God...I wanted him dead so bad and then I did it...I chose to kill him...I'm practically a murderer."

Jasper and Alice kept telling her she wasn't a murderer that she only did what she had to do, but she couldn't hear them. She was too lost in her own world. The coroner's men finally pulled themselves together from gawking at the scene in front of them, removing the body from the room. The rest of the people surrounding us slowly filtered out, leaving us alone with only a few crime scene investigators and detectives. They continued matching up physical evidence to the crime scene and the video feed from the surveillance camera mounted in the ceiling. This was going to be an open and shut case. They all knew it, but since it was such a strange and involved case, they were being extra thorough in order to keep things legit.

After Alice got the first of many update texts on Edward's condition, we finally got Bella off the floor. She finally began to come back to her senses a bit after we pointed out that we would probably be better off in the surgical waiting area in case there were any updates on the progress of Edward's surgery along the way.

The second Carlisle found out his son had been shot, he immediately arranged for his best surgeons to be ready to go. He insisted that while he would not operate, that he would observe in the room.

Also, the second everyone was made aware of the situation, Krista and Sabrina went straight to the viewing gallery above the operating room where Edward was being prepped for surgery. They began sending regular update texts to Alice's phone. So far, Edward was doing quite well. The damage was very minor compared to what could have happened. One quarter of an inch to the left and the bullet would have sliced right through his aorta, which would have most likely been an immediate death sentence.

When we reached the waiting room, we immediately saw a weeping Esme in the corner, staring out the windows toward the city lights beyond. When Bella saw her, she broke away from us, running in a full on sprint toward Esme. When Esme saw her, she turned with open arms. Bella reached her, falling into her outstretched arms as Esme pulled her close. They sobbed together heavily.

"I'm sorry, Esme. It's all my fault!"

Esme pulled her away sharply by the tops of her arms, shaking her slightly.

"This is not your fault, Isabella. Do not blame yourself!"

Bella sniffled, vibrating visibly in Esme's arms.

"But it is, Esme. He was taking too many risks because of me. He risked his life, and now he might possibly die, all because of me! It IS all my fault!"

Esme shook her head, pulling Bella into a seat next to her. She tucked Bella's head against her chest, stroking her hair like a small child.

"No, my darling...that was his choice. He loves you. He couldn't stay way from you while you were in danger, any more than you would be able to if it were him! The two of you are each other's completing half. Neither of you could have stayed away from a situation like that if the roles were reversed and you know that. Now please stop crying and blaming yourself. You need to calm down and rest. If I know my son, you are the first person he will want to see when he wakes up."

Bella nodded weakly, settling into the seat next to Esme. They continued to hold hands between them, their fingers intertwined so tightly with one another that their knuckles were white.

I settled in on the other side of Bella, running my hand down her back and across her shoulders. I tried to help release some of the tension in her muscles as she sat ramrod straight in her seat, tapping her foot, and glancing at the clock nearly once a minute.

Jasper, Alice, and Andy disappeared, returning soon after with an armload of booty from the vending machines. They were soon followed by Rose who carted two carriers full of Starbucks cups. It took a little coaxing, but we finally convinced both Esme and Bella to at the very least take some of the coffee.

Every time Alice's phone would beep, all eyes would snap to her face. She would look up directly into Bella or Esme's eyes and relay the newest update.

Two hours later, she smiled and said that the surgeons were finished. Edward seemed to be doing well. The girls in the gallery suspected that Carlisle and the surgeon would come talk to us as soon as Edward was settled in recovery.

Sure enough, about five minute later, an exhausted looking Carlisle and the head surgeon came striding down the hallway toward us. Carlisle walked straight up to Esme and Bella, who were still holding hands between them. He pulled them both into his arms, tucking them each into his sides as they let go of their hands, wrapping their arms around one another's waist.

After a few seconds of Carlisle whispering comforting words that only they could hear, we were all invited to step into the large conference room where the surgeon told us about the surgery and Edward's prognosis.

Edward was a very lucky man. The bullet had been a clean shot that snapped two ribs in both the front and the back throughout its journey, puncturing Edward's lung in the process. Thankfully, it managed not to hit any other major organs or arteries. They were able to mend the hole in his lung and had to wire his ribs into place so they would heal properly. They were cleanly broken in both the front and the back. He was currently in a medically induced coma, which he would remain in for at least forty eight hours to allow his lungs and ribs to begin to heal before he was revived. The doctor maintained that he should make a full recovery within the next three to six months.

Everyone in the room breathed out a collective sigh of relief. Bella and Esme appeared to literally melt in their chairs as the tension they had held in their bodies the entire time Edward was in surgery finally cut loose. They smiled comfortingly at one another and hugged before everyone else took turns hugging them and telling them that they knew all along that Edward would be fine. I sent up a silent prayer of thanks that my sister didn't suffer the loss of yet another person in her life that she loved so dearly, not to mention the loss of my best friend.

After a few more minutes, we all moved back into the waiting area for Edward to be released from recovery. We hoped that a few of us could see him.

The exhaustion of the horrible day finally overtook Bella. Within minutes of sitting back down, she slumped against my side and passed out.

She hadn't been sleeping long when the mumbling began. We all glanced occasionally, but Bella was a sleep talker, so it wasn't out of the ordinary for her to mumble in her sleep. It didn't cause us any alarm at first, but when she began to flail her arms and whimper into my side, all eyes in the room were cast upon her. It lasted a few minutes before she finally stopped. We all took a breath of relief, settling back into our seats, reading our magazines and watching CNN on the TV in the waiting room with dulled interest.

The ease of the room only lasted another fifteen minutes before Bella thrashed against me. She screamed Edward's name at the top of her lungs as she began to pummel me with her fists, yelling about guns, bullets, and murderers. Jasper rushed to my side. He grabbed her arms to restrain her a bit, as I called her name, trying to get her to wake up.

When Jasper gripped her arms in his hands, she began to thrash harder, elbowing him in the nose before standing up. She released a terrified scream as her eyes popped open. Her eyes scanned the room full of worried faces as her scream abruptly stopped. She stood in front of us with her arms wrapped tightly around herself, shivering and panting with wide eyes before they filled with fat tears that began to roll down her cheeks.

"Oh God," she mumbled in a quiet state of shock. "It all really happened. Edward really did get shot and I really killed Trager? Oh God, I was hoping it was all a nightmare."

It was then that her eyes fell to the floor. Jasper was still kneeling with a cloth to his nose soaked in blood as Alice crouched next to him. Bella gasped as her hands flew to her mouth. She shook her head again in contrition before dropping to her knee next to them.

"Oh, Japer! Oh God, Jasper, I'm so sorry! Are you okay?"

Jasper nodded as much as he could, casting her a forgiving look. She knelt next to him with her hand on his arm, shaking her head in frustration with everything going on around her. Carlisle knelt next to her, wrapping his arm around her, pulling her close to him.

"It's okay, Bella, it was an accident. If you didn't walk away from this with some signs of mental duress, then I would be more worried about you than I already am. After everything you have been through today, this is definitely not out of the ordinary. It will be okay, sweetheart. Come on; let's go get you cleaned up a little bit. I'll look into getting you a sedative to help you rest better."

Bella's eyes shot up to Carlisle's as her face shook frantically in disagreement. "No. Carlisle, please...I want to see Edward when he comes out of recovery. Even if he's still in a coma state, I want to see him. I want him to hear my voice. I promise, after I see him I'll let you give me whatever you want, but not until afterwards okay?"

Carlisle sighed, leading her out of the waiting room to go get cleaned up.

As soon as she was out of sight, I heard a foreign sounding whimper leave my chest. My elbows rested on my knees and my face fell into my hands, scrubbing it roughly. I felt warm, soft hands on my back, rubbing small circles. They moved up through the hair at the nape of my neck before I heard my sweet Rosalie whispering in my ear.

"She'll be okay, Emmett. It'll take a little while, but she'll be okay. I love you so much, you know that? You are an amazing man and a wonderful, caring brother. That makes me love you even more."

I sighed. I lifted my head, reaching my hands to wrap them around her body. I rested my weary body next to hers, drawing strength from her love.

BPOV

Carlisle led me down the hallway toward the locker room, guiding me toward my locker. He asked for my combination, pulling out my spare scrubs and my bag of travel toiletries that I kept at the hospital in the event of extra long shifts.

I sat watching in a numbed state before I felt my stomach clench. I jumped up and ran into one of the toilet stalls as my stomach emptied its meager contents and recently ingested Starbucks coffee into the bowl with powerful force. I felt someone reach up to pull my hair back for me, holding it as I heaved several more times before my stomach ceased to spasm. I sat up to rest my head against the wall of the stall, wiping my arm across my face with a groan.

"You okay there, Bella?" Carlisle asked kindly as he knelt next to me.

I nodded weakly, reaching to flush the toilet before accepting Carlisle's offered hand, assisting me to stand again.

He continued to hold my hand as he led me toward the shower rooms, grabbing a towel off the shelves and getting my personal items settled in a shower stall. Once I was all settled, he left me to undress and shower alone, saying he was going to go take over Jasper's care and send Alice and Rose in to check on me in a few minutes.

I stepped into the dressing area, dropping my dirty clothes to the floor before stepping through the second curtain that cordoned off the shower area. I turned on the water in too much of a zombie state to even care that the initial blast of water was ice cold. I mechanically wet my hair, pouring the shampoo into my hands, before running them through the thick mop of hair, scrubbing my scalp roughly with my nails. The sting of my nails against my scalp was disturbingly comforting. I continued a few seconds longer than I should have. Eventually, I forced myself to stop and rinse the suds away before filling my hands with conditioner, slicking it over the soaked strands of hair.

I picked up the tiny bar of soap and began to run it over my body to wash away the grime and dirt of this horrible day. Once again, I scrubbed my flesh with too much vigor, enjoying the slight tingle of my reddening skin.

I was halfway through scrubbing myself thoroughly for a second time when I froze mid swipe. The images began to flash in front of my eyes again as my mind forced me to relive the experience once again. I fell against the wall of the shower, resting my forehead against the cold yellow tile as I began to once again sob uncontrollably.

It all played again in slow motion. Trager pulling the gun out of his boot, my throat straining as I screamed, the flash of the barrel as his gun discharged, followed by the flash from the gun in my hand as I reacted trying to stop him from hurting anyone.

I remembered with dreadful clarity the feel of my head hitting the concrete floor as I fell backwards from the force of the shot, as five other loud pops filled the air, leaning up just in time to see Edward collapse where he stood and Trager lying on the floor.

I remembered the sensation of ripping off the body armor to see Edward's angel's kiss on his chest as I struggled to re-inflate his collapsed lung and stop the bleeding.

The yanking sensation once again grabbed hold of my heart as I recalled watching them wheel Edward off the surgery, followed by the nausea from walking over to see Trager's lifeless face, his dead eyes open and unseeing.

I wasn't sure how long I had been standing there when I felt two hot hands grab my arms and a warm towel wrap around my body. I stumbled, shuffling my feet as Alice and Rose led me out of the shower and into the locker room. They helped me dry off and dress, combing my hair gently. All the while, both kept telling me it would all be okay.

I nodded absently while my mind screamed in response. How the hell do you know? How will any of this be okay? My boyfriend nearly died and I killed someone. How will any of this ever be okay?

After I was dressed, they both led me gingerly back to the waiting area. As we entered, Esme stood up, crossing over to me, wrapping her arm around my shoulder in a motherly gesture that warmed me slightly deep in the core of my chest. As long as I lived, I would never be able to thank anybody here with me enough for all they had done for me, but especially Esme for providing the motherly support I so desperately needed.

I hadn't been sitting with Esme more than ten minutes or so when a nurse walked into the waiting area, calling for the family of Edward Masen. Esme and I shot up, rushing to stand in front of her. Carlisle joined us from his place by Jasper, who appeared to be doing all right. To my relief, he was not sporting a broken nose.

The nurse smiled at Esme and Carlisle, barely acknowledging me, not that I gave a shit.

"Mr. Masen has been released from recovery and is now in his bed in the ICU. Normally he would not be allowed guests until visiting hours in the morning, but since he's the son of the chief, we are of course making exceptions. Dr. and Mrs. Cullen, please follow me...you will be the only ones allowed in until morning."

I let out an involuntary squeak a second before Esme's arm wrapped around my shoulder.

"No, Bella will go with us as well. Not only is she practically his fiancée, but she is also a med student in this hospital. Not to mention the fact that she saved his life. If anybody gets to go back to see Edward, it will be her."

I was looking over at a blurry Esme through a curtain of tears.

She smiled at me, tightening her grip on my shoulder.

I glanced back at the nurse who was looking at me with a mixture of surprise and annoyance. She nodded silently and led us toward Edward's room.

I followed next to Esme, annoyed at the slow leisurely pace at which the nurse was walking. My body willed me to rush to his side, pulling me like a high powered electromagnet toward him with unstoppable force. When we finally reached the doorway, Carlisle stayed back. Esme and I both took a few steps through the door, freezing in place immediately.

Edward was surrounded by tubes, wires, and machinery that monitored his heart rate and regulated his breathing while in his coma state. I could feel my breaths quickening and my heart pounding as I began to hyperventilate.

It was only a couple of months ago that I stood in this very hospital, just a few rooms down, with Edward at my side, watching Andy in a similar state. I remembered Edward promising that he and the boys would always come home to me, they would stay safe, and then we had shared our first kiss as two consenting adults. The memories raged through me like bittersweet fire. Eventually, I heard Carlisle and Esme speaking to me through my haze of labored breath and haunting memories.

I was starting to feel dizzy, when all of a sudden the world came into focus again as the realization hit me that Edward needed me now more than ever. A few seconds later, I managed to regulate my breathing and slow my heart. As soon as I was under control, I left Esme's side to dash to Edward's bed, grabbing his hand with mine. I leaned over the tubes and wires to kiss him gently on the side of his mouth opposite of where the ventilator tube was positioned. I rested my forehead to his as I rubbed soothing circles on the back of his hand.

The last several hours I had been lost in a sea of panic and trauma. Being by his side, feeling his hand in mine felt soothing. Knowing that the coma he was in was medically induced. Knowing that once they removed the heavy sedative keeping him under so he could heal, he would be opening those beautiful green eyes. All of those factors combined, made me determined that I would be the first face he saw. For the first time since he left my side, I began to understand what everyone was saying. I finally, truly believed that everything would be okay.

I reached up to run my hand through his hair, scratching his scalp lightly with my nails.

"I love you, Edward. According to your surgeon, you are going to be just fine. He said you'd be back up to one hundred percent in three to six months, baby. So right now, I just want you to rest and know that I love you. When you wake up, I promise I'll be sitting right here next to you. You're in ICU right now. They don't allow overnight guests. Matter of fact, Carlisle's the only reason I'm getting to see you now, but you can just bet that when they bring you out, I will be here one way or another, okay sweetheart? You've done well, baby, just a little more to go okay?"

I looked over at the doorway where Carlisle and Esme stood with their arms around one another, looking at us with soft watery smiles. I nodded toward Edward, gesturing for them to come in and talk to him. They slowly made their way over, touching him comfortingly. They spoke to him softly, telling him that he would be fine and just to concentrate on healing.

After a few minutes, the nurse came back in saying that it was time for us to leave. Esme and Carlisle gave Edward one last kiss before leaving me alone for a moment with Edward before I had to leave. I reached over again, running my hand through his hair. I kissed his forehead before leaning down by his ear so the nurse wouldn't hear what I had to say.

"I love you, Edward Anthony. You just so you know, you won't be getting any sponge baths by any of the hot nurses around here if I have anything to say about it. I am the only one who gets to see little Eddie...got that?"

I chuckled and kissed under his ear as his heart rate elevated slightly. I looked up as the nurse shot me a funny look of disapproval. I shrugged before leaning back down.

"Get some good rest, my love. I will be back first thing for ICU visiting hours in the morning."

I stood back up and walked out of the room, feeling more focused and centered than I had all day. I walked into the waiting room with my head held high and my shoulders back. I gave everyone a half smile of apology.

Everyone smiled back brightly. Emmett walked over and enveloped me in a big hug. I squeezed back with all the might I could muster.

Everyone tried to convince me to go back to one of their places to get some rest and come back in the morning, but I adamantly refused. Esme also wanted to stay, so she and Carlisle settled with me into the surgery waiting room with the big pink chairs that reclined back into nearly a prone state.

Carlisle disappeared, returning shortly after with a pill and a glass of water.

I glanced up questioningly at him.

He smiled as he told me it was the sedative I had promised to take.

I groaned quietly. I took it warily, gulping down the whole glass of water, before settling down under the thin hospital blanket, trying to rest. As the sounds of the hospital bustling around me began to fade, I drifted off into a dark quiet slumber thanks to the magic pill Carlisle had given me.

o~O~o

I was still in a deep heavy sleep thanks to the powerful sedative Carlisle had given me sometime after midnight, when I heard Esme calling my name and stroking my arm gently. My eyelids felt as though they were lined with lead as I tried to open them.

Once they finally slid open a slit, Esme reminded me that we could go see Edward now. My eyes immediately popped wide open all as I sat up quickly, throwing my hand to my head at the dizzying rush of the lingering sedative mixed with my hurried ascent.

Esme chuckled at me as she waited for me to regain my equilibrium. Once I was steadied, she reached a hand out to assist me out of the chair. She held my hand as we made our way back toward Edward's room.

As we walked in, I noticed a new nurse had taken over. She looked over at us and smiled brightly before returning her focus to Edward's IV. She crossed the room to us when she was done.

"Hi, I'm Donna, Mr. Masen's nurse for the next ten hours or so. I assume you are Mrs. Cullen and Dr. Swan right?"

We nodded and she smiled even brighter. "Well, considering your status in the hospital and the fact that you saved his life, I fully intend to pay absolutely no attention to the clock while in the room for the rest of my shift. I won't even begin to notice when visiting hours begin or end today," she said with a wink. "If you need anything at all, please don't hesitate to ask."

I smiled appreciatively and nodded. "Thank you so much, Donna. You are an angel."

She smiled back and shook her head. "Well, I'm pretty sure with the rumors going on around here, that title belongs to you Dr. Swan, but thank you." She walked to the bed tray, collecting a few supplies before walking out of the room with a smile and a nod.

Esme sat with us for an hour before she finally stretched and stated that since I could stay with Edward all day that she was going to go home to get a shower and a nap. She said would be back in time for the next official visitor's time. I nodded and thanked her before watching her disappear into the hallway.

I spent the next few hours brushing my hand across one part of Edward's body at all times, letting him know I was there. I occasionally talked to him, but not wanting to talk too much for fear I might actually be interrupting some much needed rest. It didn't escape my notice, however, that when I did speak his heart rate seemed to increase. When I ran my fingers through his hair, it would decrease into a soft steady cadence that reminded me of his breathing when he slept.

I busied myself with studying the paper chart hooked to the end of his bed; acquainting myself with the procedures and medications he had been given. Thankfully, the charts were kept both on the computer database and also on the paper chart in his room. The paper chart was updated ever four hours, so I was nearly up to date on all that had happened to him since he was brought back after he left the ER waiting area.

One time when Donna came in to check on him, she moved back his covers to check his bandages and check his wounds. When she removed the large gauze pad on his chest, I gasped. He had a large incision that wrapped from his sternum around his side, held together by staples just below the angel kiss on his chest. All around the incision, his chest was a rainbow of colors from the extensive bruising between the injury itself and the invasiveness of the surgery. It looked raw and painful, but what was more amazing to me than anything was the appearance of the angel's kiss itself. Normally it stood out as a light brown on his pale skin. It would always darken a shade or two darker than the rest of his chest when he would tan, but with the dark mottling of his flesh under his skin, the kiss appeared to glow nearly white on a sea of purple and blue.

I stared at the kiss as she began to prepare the new bandage to replace over the wound. I remembered back to the day I saw the little birthmark for the first time and heard the story.

It was the first beach trip after moving to Chicago. I was still pretty shy around the guys. It was June and they insisted that I had to go experience the beach on Lake Michigan first hand. I dressed in my purple one piece swimsuit that always made me feel ridiculous as it made my flat chest and lack of curves stand out, or in my case lay iron board flat, for the world to notice.

I threw on a t-shirt and shorts, grabbing my bag full of books, sunscreen, a beach towel, and my walkman CD player before turning to go find the boys. I watched my feet intently as I walked down the hallway toward the living room, taking a seat on the couch next to Emmett. When I finally did glance up, I was greeted with the sight of a room full of intensely attractive guys, all looking at me strangely, making me feel uncomfortable and awkward.

I had only known them all for less than four months. While they were all nice enough, it was still just strange to be surrounded by so many guys all the time. The only guys I ever spent much time around were Emmett and Dad. My mom had insisted that I be a girly girl and I never really had a problem with that. I loved going shopping with my mom and doing makeovers, gravitating to mostly girl friends at school. Yeah, I had my more butch hobbies like shooting with Dad and survived well amongst the local cops who would hang out on the range. This was so different though; these weren't middle aged balding guys with beer bellies. No, these were unbearably attractive college age guys who smelled even better than they looked and that was without even seeing any of them shirtless. Lord help me, when we got to the beach where they would be running around in swim trunks! I hadn't even kissed a guy yet, much less seen shirtless guys who weren't blood relations!

We all piled down into the lobby, hailing a couple of cabs for everyone to squeeze into, and rode to the beach. When we got there, we encountered a sea of people stretched out along the tan sandy shore. We finally found a stretch not covered in brightly toned beach towels and settled in.

After my towel was in place and I was seated on it, I took the time to glance around the beach. I felt my self esteem drop even lower when I saw we were completely surrounded by bikini clad golden goddesses with large designer sunglasses and confident, almost arrogant expressions. I sighed deeply before reaching into my bag to drag out my dog eared copy of Jane Eyre and my walkman, laying them on top of the towel and preparing to stretch out with my shirt and shorts still on.

As soon as we had settled, the boys had all disappeared toward the water's edge. When a velvety voice drifted over the air from my left, I jumped in surprise. I looked that direction to see that two towels over sat a shirtless Edward, his pale sculpted chest practically shimmering in the sunlight thanks to the freshly applied suntan lotion. I felt my mouth go dry. My lungs refused to respond to my orders to inhale. I just stared blankly until he chuckled and moved closer to me with his crooked smile. I struggled to swallow past the lump in my throat as he settled on the towel next to me.

"I asked if you were really going to keep that shirt and shorts on all day, or if you were going to actually absorb a few of these great rays today."

I felt myself blushing crimson as I glanced down at the stretched out Lincoln High School Phys Ed uniform shirt and scraggly cut off shorts. With a sigh, I stood up, sliding the shorts off before tossing the t-shirt over my head. I tossed them both in the bag before settling back on the towel.

I reached immediately for the sunscreen, applying it to my legs, arms, face, and chest before I could get scorched lobster red as was typical for me. When I stopped, Edward was looking at me funny. I hid behind my curtain of hair as I tried to reach behind me to get the section of my upper back not covered by the suit and failing miserably.

Edward cleared his throat next to me before stumbling over his words in his offer to help me. I blushed red hot as I nodded insecurely. My heart hammered in my chest as his big strong hands caressed my back and my neck as he massaged the lotion into my skin for several seconds before finally pulling away announcing he was done and picking up my book.

"Jane Eyre, huh? My Aunt loves this book. I personally didn't think it was all that amazing when I read it at her request." He shrugged and shot me the crooked smile again that made my stomach twitch. "Must be a girl thing."

I smiled shyly at him before taking my beloved book back, shrugging. "Must be."

I expected him to get up and leave after that, but he didn't. He sat next to me for the next hour, making small talk and asking me about my life back in Lincoln. We talked about my friend, my hobbies, and my favorite subjects at school.

While his handsome face and amazing body were still intimidating, I found myself really enjoying talking to him. It was easy and comfortable. He made me smile several times throughout our talk.

I asked him a few shy questions, slowly growing braver as the time went on. Finally, I got brave enough to ask about the kiss shaped mark on his left pec that I had noticed upon my first viewing of his naked chest earlier in the day.

He looked down with a small chuckle.

"It's a birthmark, actually. When I was little, my Mom used to say it was my angel's kiss. She said that when I was born, my guardian angel must have kissed me to welcome me to the world. His magic filtered onto my skin and left a special mark to let me know I was special."

"Awe, that's sweet," I blurted involuntarily, leading to him chuckling some more.

"Yeah, I thought it was so cool when I was a kid, but now I pretty much forget it's even there. God, I haven't even told that story in years..."

He trailed off into his own thoughts, looking sad and lonely. I wanted to comfort him, to somehow make him feel better, but I didn't know what to do so I just sat there. Reaching my hand over to rest on his arm gently, I patted a couple of times before I set it back down at my side. I looked over shyly to see him looking back with a matching expression. In that moment, I heard the click of a camera and Emmett's booming laughter.

"Come on you two! What's the use in being at the beach if you don't go and enjoy the water! You need to go get wet!"

Edward laughed and stood up, offering me a hand. I took it shyly as my heart sped. I felt a tingle in my fingers as they touched his. I had noticed the same tingle when he put the lotion on, but dismissed it as the sun and the lotion. I had felt it again when I patted his arm, but it was too serious of a moment to really acknowledge it. This time, however, I couldn't deny that it was just a product of his touch.

He stared at our hands with a slight frown. As soon as I was on my feet, he dropped my hand. He took a step back before shaking his head and smiling. He held his hand out toward the water in a very gentlemanly fashion, offering to allow me to go first.

I smiled and stepped off the towel, yelping at the heat of the sand scorching my bare feet. He laughed as I hopped and hobbled my way to the shoreline, sighing contentedly when my feet hit the cool wet sand along the water's edge.

Jasper called to Edward from his place in the deeper water away from shore. Edward yelled back before looking at me with a smile and splashing off in the water to join the guys. I stood with my feet in the surf next to Emmett marveling at the perfection that was Edward Masen.

Donna finished with the bandages, returning the covers over his torso. She smiled at me one last time before leaving the room. I scooted closer to Edward, taking his hand, rubbing the back gently.

"You know, seeing your Angel's kiss when I cut open your shirt was probably the most traumatic moment of my life. I knew the second I saw it that it was you. Right now, it's almost glowing on top of your bruises. It looks so amazing...almost like Elizabeth had been right and it really is dosed with some kind of magic."

I moved my hand to his face, caressing his cheekbone gently.

"Seeing it just now made me remember that first trip to the beach. Looking back at the whole thing now, knowing what I know about how you felt about me, I realized, you were feeling this connection between us that day too, weren't you? The looks you gave me, the frown at our hands when you helped me stand up to go to the water. You felt the tingling between our fingers that I always feel when we touch, didn't you? Do you feel it too? Can you feel it now?"

I sighed, pulling back from his face to clutch his hand in both of mine as I leaned down and kissed the back of his hand.

"I can't wait until they take you off of those damn meds so I can see your beautiful green eyes and know beyond all doubt that you are alright. I know what they say. I'm holding onto the fact that you should make a full recovery for dear life, but I don't think I'll really believe it until I see your eyes, and see you smile at me. You concentrate on mending that handsome body of yours that about gave me a heart attack the first time I saw it on the beach seven years ago so you'll be ready for them to wake you up when it's time."

I heard his heart rate pick up on the monitor for a brief moment before it slowed again. I smiled.

"I wish I knew if you were reacting to things I'm saying, or if all of this is just a coincidence. It'd be nice to know if you can hear me or not."

"I'm sorry you're in here. All of this, every bit of it, all ties back to me. This whole thing is my fault. If I hadn't had put together that damn Femme's night to begin with, I never would have met Trager or Trevor to begin with and none of this mess would have happened. Matter of fact, if you hadn't beat him up as justice for what he tried to pull with me; he probably would have gone to jail or died in that warehouse raid that night. My life would suck without you, but sometimes I wonder if you would have been so much better off if I never came into your life."

His heart monitor started going wild. I glanced up in surprise before realizing what I had just said. I jumped up to run my hands through his hair.

"Oh I'm sorry, baby. I didn't really mean that. Not really. I'm just feeling sorry for myself. Please calm down, sweetheart. I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me for as long as you're willing to have me, okay?"

His heart rate slowed down again. I swallowed hard past the lump in my throat. I kissed his forehead and leaned down close to his ear.

"I love you, Edward. I miss you. You hurry back to me, okay? I need you here with me. Until they let me in here last night, I was a fucking mess. I was borderline insane, I swear, but all it took was seeing you and suddenly my whole world came back into focus. I knew you needed me and I had to get my shit back together to take care of you. You are my life now, Edward. You are my sun. I'm going to throw feminism back fifty years with this next statement, but I think it's true; my world revolves around you now. That was never as clear as when I realized you needed me and suddenly the pieces of my fractured mental state slid into place and stabilized. I know it's temporary, I almost certainly suffering some mental stress from what happened, but for now, you needing me seems to be taking priority. I love you."

I laid my head down on the bed next to his arm. The next thing I knew, Esme was shaking my shoulder gently, whispering for me to wake up.

I sat up, blinking at the room and at Edward. He seemed to have more color in his cheeks than he had when I fell asleep. I looked toward the window to see it was dark out.

Esme chuckled, massaging my raging neck muscles tenderly as I rolled my neck trying to free the knot in my left trapezius.

"Why don't you go home? Go get a shower and some sleep in your own bed, Bella. They aren't going to take Edward off the coma inducing medications for another twenty four hours. I'll stay with him as long as they'll let me, dear. Go home and rest."

I sighed, my voice wavering as I answered. "I can't, Esme. I can't go sleep in that bed without him, knowing he's here. It was one thing when he was at work while I was working graveyard, but even then, I knew he was going to climb in with me when he got home. I can't sleep there knowing he won't be coming home to me tonight."

Edward's heart rate rose again. I rushed to his side running my hand through his hair to calm him as I spoke to him.

"Edward, love, it's not your fault. I just don't want to leave your side if I don't have to. I'm fine. I want to be here with you."

The heart monitor's beeping slowed slightly, but was still elevated above normal. I sighed.

"Fine, I'll go home, shower, and change, but I will not sleep there all night without you. I'll be back in a couple of hours. You rest and mend, my love."

Edward's heart rate decelerated to normal.

Esme stared at me in awe. "Is he really..?"

She trailed off as I shrugged. "I don't know for sure, but he sure seems to be. I've been answering and talking to him accordingly just in case. I want to believe he is, but there's no way to know for sure," I whispered as I drug my fingers through his hair over and over.

I stayed and talked to Esme a few more minutes before I excused myself to go to our big empty apartment alone. Each step away from the hospital and my Edward was harder than the one before. I slowly trudged my way to the curb where I hailed a cab to take me back to our building to clean up before going back for the night just as I promised. My mind was completely focused on my mental countdown of how many hours before they allow Edward to wake up so I could see those soothing green eyes again.