Hey, so another chapter. I started of not liking this chapter very much, can't really make my mind up whether I like it now that I've finished, oh well.
Aaand, I don't own supernatural =]
Chapter 4
I left Sam and Dean in the bar, I would meet them for dinner later on, for the time being I was heading to the library. I had a feeling it was going to take a while; the elderly librarian behind the desk kind of gave off that impression. I straightened myself up and approached the desk, "excuse me, I wonder if you can help, I'm studying flood risk in the area. I just wandered if I could have a look at the underground plans of the city, I want to look into drainage," it was quite a long explanation but I had to sound like an eager college student. I put on my biggest smile; I hope it wasn't too fake.
"Oh that does sound interesting," the elderly librarian got to her feet, I felt guilty for making her move but it was going to lead, hopefully, to the demise of the Shapeshifter. I followed the hobbling old woman to a room off of the main library, like an ante-chamber filled with dozens of ancient filing cabinets and boxes of paper. It could take forever to find the information I needed.
Nearly a quarter of an hour later and I still didn't have the plans I so desperately desired. The librarian had long since left me, which I was grateful for. I checked my watch, I was supposed to be meeting Sam and Dean in half an hour, I might have to take a rain check on that. Dropping a file, that was looking very promising, onto the table I found myself in a cloud of dust. Letting the dust settle I phoned Sam, who by the sounds of it was still in the bar with Dean, I hoped they were at least talking about the case. I explained I'd be late and thankfully, Dean suggested take out pizza later on, once I'd found the plans. Apparently I 'need their expertise'; at that point I hung up on the boys.
Three more very heavy dusty files later and I struck gold. It was slightly faded and dated twenty years ago but at least it was plans for the cities underground network. After several attempts at forcing the prehistoric photocopier to work, I finally had a barely readable version of the plans. Folding them neatly I shoved them into my bag and drove back to the motel where I'd agreed to meet Sam and Dean. I knocked on their door and Sam let me in. Dean was crashed out on the bed, snoring loudly. "Wake him up, he can help us," I said none too loudly, my normally dormant bossy streak wining through.
"Oi, Dean, wake up," Sam shook Dean rather harshly.
Sam handed me a beer and took one for himself, "where's mine?" Dean asked.
"These are the last two, you can go out for pizza and bring back more," Sam stated, Dean eyed him suspiciously and was about to argue when Sam beat him to it, "we did all the work this afternoon, it's your turn."
"Actually Dean," I handed him some money from my purse, "get me a bottle of wine, there's only so much beer I can drink." I realised it was cheeky but did it matter? Dean was going to the liquor store anyway and I'd spent the rest of my afternoon trawling through stacks of paper whilst the two Winchester's sat in the bar. I damn well needed a glass of wine. Sam was smiling as Dean muttered obscenities to himself as he picked up his keys and left.
"Nice," Sam commented.
"He'll get over it," I took a sip from my beer and then unfolded the photocopied plans. "This is where I'm lost; finding the plan was easy, well mostly but now what?" I asked Sam, jumping straight into matters.
"Good question," he took a long swig from his beer and sat down on the battered couch next to me. "Why don't we mark on the sites of all the deaths so far, it might show something?"
I reached into my bag and grabbed a few highlighters, two of them were empty but I wasn't sure which. Instead of throwing them away I just put them back in my bag last time I used them.
So far there were four victims, all of them clustered in a suburban area to the south, "there's nothing underground there," there wasn't anything there, but we knew that to be otherwise. I puzzled over this for a moment; Sam had yet to say anything.
"It's new," Sam picked up his beer again.
I didn't think too much on this, "it's not, look at the date on the plans, that's twenty years ago."
I was answered with laughter, it was a nice sound, the room had taken on a serious note since Dean had left half an hour ago that the light relief was welcome. "I meant the buildings in the area, they are all fairly new."
Oh boy did I feel stupid, I hadn't thought of that. I picked up my drink to hide my embarrassment and pretended I knew what Sam meant all along. "So these plans are useless?" I had to say it aloud, even if we both knew the answer.
"Yeah," Sam replied.
"I think I need something stronger to drink," I replied burying my head in my hands. It couldn't be easy just for once now could it? Don't answer that.
"Don't worry about it," Sam let his hand rest on my knee, I tilted my head to look at him, "we can think of something else." I wish it was that simple, my mind was dead to all productive ideas. Sam squeezed my knee in a reassuring manner, for which I was glad. Dean chose that moment to return to the motel; Sam hastily removed his hand and went to take the pizza boxes from Dean.
"What's going on?" Dean asked, looking between the two of us.
"Plans are no good," I mumbled, annoyed more than anything else. What a waste of an afternoon. "There's nothing underground in the area, at least not in those plans, they're too old."
"We need another idea," Sam stated, handing me a chipped mug with wine, guess a wine glass was asking too much when in a dingy motel. I took a slice of pizza from the box, now laid on top of the useless plans, up until now I hadn't realised how hungry I was.
"Oh, this is good pizza," Dean said through a mouthful of the stuff.
"I second that," I replied, holding my wine up in a toast. Two empty pizza boxes later and we found ourselves sat around the table, the underground plans now completely discarded. We were going at it from a different angle. It wasn't a brilliant plan, granted it was packed with flaws but it was all we had.
"So lets go over this again before Dean disappears for the night," Sam laughed lightly at Deans desperate attempt to escape, his plan to 'pick up a chick' being delayed by us.
"Dammit Sammy, we get it already, tomorrow we just head on into the sewers within the area of the dead bodies locations and hope we strike lucky and find the bastards place he likes to call home," Dean drained the rest of his beer, "sounds fool proof to me." Like hell it was but it was all we had.
With Dean gone, it left Sam and I alone. According to my watch it was just after nine o'clock, everything was shut and the motel didn't have wi-fi so there was very little we could do on the case.
"Sam? The other Shapeshifters you've seen before, what happened with them?" I refilled my wine and sat down on the battered couch once again.
Sam laughed, "We ended up wanted by the police."
"Oh, so not to be taken lightly, fabulous," now all enthusiasm I had for the case had disappeared.
"Not exactly, it was a good thing you called; we've had so much trouble with Shapeshifters. The first one we met impersonated Dean, it killed people disguised as Dean," Sam's laughter from before had disappeared.
"That explains Dean's hatred then."
"Pretty much," Sam opened another beer and topped up my glass.
"You know, I'm really not thrilled about trawling through sewers, I'm going to smell awful," I pulled a face, I didn't want to think about but it wasn't exactly something that was going to disappear anytime soon. "Not my idea of a fun day out."
"I don't think any of us are looking forward to it, Dean and I have done it a few times, still doesn't get any better," Sam shuddered.
"Is there anything you two haven't done?" I asked jokingly.
"Probably," Sam replied.
"Like what?" I asked, curious.
"Like live a normal life," okay so that was not the answer I was expecting from Sam. I could sympathise with him though.
"Not going to happen," I replied rather pessimistically. I wanted to believe it would happen but after seeing so much death I knew it would never happen.
"Why not? Deep down Dean knows I can't do this forever, I don't want to do this forever," he confessed. It's funny how drink has a way of producing depressing conversations.
"I can understand that," I said with hints of bitterness in my voice, "so what will you do?"
"Become a lawyer I guess, get married, it's what I was going to do, after we stop the yellow eyed demon," Sam confessed. I'd heard them mention this yellow-eyed demon. I thought they all had black eyes but I'd been corrected by the Winchester boys earlier today.
"I'm sure you'll stop him, you guys yourselves are unstoppable," I shoved Sam playfully, trying to lighten the mood.
"Not entirely although Dean likes to think so," Sam sighed.
"At least you have a brother, I'm doing this on my own," I mumbled into my mug. Hello depressive conversation again, they seem to be following me everywhere. "So," I said in a brighter tone, "I'm going to call it a night, I've drunk far too much and I wouldn't want to be tired for crawling about the sewers now would I."
"Ha-ha no," Sam replied, setting his beer down on the table. I pulled myself to my feet, my head protesting ever so slightly, I wasn't used to drinking so much, I blame the Winchesters. Setting my mug down in the sink I picked up my bag and jacket, by that time Sam was stood near the door, "come on, I'll walk you to your room."
"No it's fine, It's only across the parking lot," I protested, I was pretty sure I could take care of myself, I could take down a vampire so a walk to my room wasn't going to kill me.
"I'm not taking no for an answer, if the Shapeshifter is onto us then its better to be on the safe side," okay so my protest wasn't a brilliant one, in fact it wasn't really a protest at all.
"Okay fine, come along then," I walked ahead of Sam across the small parking lot, trying to prove that I didn't him, oh how wrong I was. I managed to trip over absolutely nothing, so much for the ballet lessons my parents put me through, apparently grace and elegance weren't my strong points. Regaining my balance I turned to Sam who was clearly amused. "Right, that, that never happened, got it?" I pointed my finger accusingly at Sam.
"Got it," he replied, the ghost of a smile on his face.
We continued across the car park in silence, I checked that my truck was locked as we passed it, call me paranoid but someone discovering my small arsenal of weapons was the last thing I needed. As we reached my door I turned to Sam, "that was very gentleman of you but seriously I would have been okay," I tapped my bag, where my pistol was hidden.
"Yeah sure as you so elegantly demonstrated to me not moments ago," Sam grinned, shoving his hands in his pockets.
"I thought we agreed that never happened," I said as I began to rummage in my bag for my keys. It's surprising how much stuff one can get into a bag. I pulled out my car keys, purse, phone, iPod, my pistol (which I handed to Sam, my own hands being pretty full) and finally the keys to my room. They just had to be hidden under all the crap in my bag. I looked up at Sam who was watching me with amusement, I took the gun from him, laying it on top of everything else, hoping it wouldn't end up hidden underneath all the crap when I needed it most. "So, I suppose this is goodnight," I shoved the key in the lock only for it to get stuck, naturally.
"Here let me," Sam leaned over and wiggled the key in the lock, barely giving me chance to move away. With a click the lock opened.
I hadn't realised Sam was so close until I looked up to say thanks. I blushed nervously, "err thanks," I mumbled barely louder than a whisper.
"Ah, err no problem I guess," Sam stammered in response. I met Sam's eyes, my goodbye momentarily forgotten. The embarrassing crimson blush on cheeks deepened further when Sam bought his hand up to my cheek, brushing away a few strands of hair. The drink, a mix of beer and the pinot grigio, was obviously affecting my judgement, oddly though, I wasn't too bothered by it. My subconscious had manipulated my body into moving closer to Sam; or rather I can blame my subconscious.
"Sam, I shou-," Sam's lips pressed gently to mine, cutting off my sentence about something, whatever I was going to say probably wasn't important if I couldn't remember it. It had been a while since I'd been in this situation, for several minutes I indulged the part of me that wanted this. The part of me I constantly refused to acknowledge, the part of me I shoved to the back of my mind, my mind that was currently over-thinking matters.
The feeling of Sam's lips against mine was, well I'm not sure how to describe it, I probably could if I wasn't so wrapped up in what was going on. Stood outside a dingy little motel, with Sam's arms resting around my waist, my own were placed on his shoulders.
I pulled away from Sam and bit my bottom lip; I certainly hadn't expected to be in this situation. I shouldn't be in this situation. "I should get to bed," I turned away pretty quickly reaching for the door handle, oh how I desperately wished for a quick getaway. I'd had too much to drink, in all actuality we'd both drunk a bit too much and this was just an overfriendly goodbye, one that should never have happened.
"Alice?" Sam's hand reached out to remove mine from the door handle, "Just hang on a sec okay?" I didn't say anything, I just waited. What could I say? Well probably a lot of things. I sighed and turned back to Sam, "I'm sorry."
I finally found my voice, "no, I'm sorry, I should have known better. I've had too much to drink it would be best if maybe we forget this ever happened and just get some sleep."
"I understand," Sam somewhat disappointedly replied I just hoped he did understand. "Good night," Sam let go of my hand, which I let fall to my side.
"Sam wait, I am sorry really," as I said that I could feel my eyes well up with tears, since when did I become so girly?
"Yeah," Sam replied, taking off towards their room.
"Good night," I doubted Sam could hear me by that point. I just hoped by morning it would all be forgotten and we'd move on from it and go back to annihilating the Shapeshifter then Sam and Dean could go off to god knows where and I can continue my one person mission to save the world.
As I closed the door to my room I didn't even bother with switching the light on, I just sunk to my knees and finally gave way to the tears. I choked back a sob, what a stupid way to react but I couldn't help it. Slowly, I was realising I liked Sam in a more than just friends way. I absolutely refused to give way to my feelings, stupid emotions, sometimes I really hated them. In fact me sitting on the battered carpet which things were probably living in sobbing my heart out was very stupid.
I stood up, wiping my eyes on my sleeve and switched the light on catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror not looking very glamorous with puffy eyes and red cheeks. A good night's sleep was definitely what I needed. I splashed my face with cold water in an attempt to snap myself from my miniature emotional breakdown and maybe sooth the dull throb now taking control of my head.
Lying in bed, in the dark, I couldn't help but wonder what Sam was doing and how he was feeling. It looked cut up to say the least but it had been the right thing to do. I wasn't going to allow myself to get involved with someone when I was hell bent on revenge against any possible supernatural thing out there in order to avenge my family, not a healthy way of life at all, and I wasn't even going to consider having a one night stand. Why I was even giving this thought when I had already long decided to not act on any feeling was beyond me. I'll just lay blame on lack of sleep, too much alcohol and my poor judgement.