Felix and Austen sat in silence, at either ends of the control panel, Felix playing Snake and Jane Austen lost in Candy Crush. Occasionally, Felix would glance over and Jane would pretend not to notice. Eventually, deciding that he couldn't turn down an opportunity to chat with Jane Austen, even if she was a bigot, he asked, "What other apps have you got on there?"

She did not look up from her screen, "Only those in normal use: messaging, games, instagram-"

"You have instagram? What's your username?"

"It's private." She responded, coldly. "Oh, and also, there is this."

She tapped her screen and a high pitched whine filled the TARDIS. Felix threw his hands over his ears, "Oh, what is that?" He asked, trying not to shout, though he could barely hear.

Austen smiled, "It emits a loud noise particularly irksome to the young. I use it to keep birds and ruffians out of my garden."

At that moment, the Doctor ran jauntily up the stairs and spun around, "What do you think?" He was wearing a tailored tuxedo, white undershirt, bright red bow tie and black top hat.

"You look like a puffin with a chimney," Felix commented.

"Ridiculous," Jane agreed, "But it will have to do."

"Well, don't you two know how to make a man feel special?" He straightened his bow tie, "I think I look really cool."

"I bet a puffin does too."

The Doctor ignored this and crooked his arm for Austen to take. "Let's away, bride-to-never-be."

"Remember the 'never' part, Doctor; it's very important." She linked her arm in his and they began to head towards the doors.

"Wait, don't I need to change?" Asked Felix.

Jane turned around and appraised him, "No, I think your attire will quite suit the part."

"What part?"

"The servant."

Bixby Manor, located to the east of Swithe, occupied an estate most adequate for hunting, fishing and nuclear detonation. It was spacious and handsome, the envy of several prominent families in nearby Northampton.

Cassandra Bixby herself, a woman of no small income and with charm and beauty enough to be talked about even as far away as London, was self-possessed enough to quell the rumours and arguments that her early co-habitation with her intended had caused, by explaining to her associates that he had no home of his own, coming as he did from most far away (they took this to mean Scotland) and that the manor was quite big enough for them both to live quite comfortably without any impropriety.

She was engaged in rummy with some of those same associates when a maid entered and announced "Ma'am, there's a Miss Austen here to see you."

"Send her away, Mary," Cassandra didn't even look up from her cards, "I have made it quite clear that I will not keep her intimate company until she does away with her spinsterhood and settles down into the correct path of femininity." Here Cassandra nodded her head at Mrs. Ape, her puritan companion, who smiled at her and nodded in return.

"But, Ma'am, she's bought her husband."

Cassandra dropped her cards.

Jane, Felix and The Doctor stood in the parlour, Felix still marvelling at the fact he was standing in the 18th century. He tried not to let his mouth hang open as he took in the period detail of the house.

Suddenly, Cassandra entered, flanked by a servant. Felix found himself unconsciously standing up straighter.

"Jane!" Cassandra exclaimed.

"Miss Bixby," Jane nodded her head, the very picture of gentility.

"And who is this?" Cassandra asked, appraising the Doctor.

"Doctor John Disco," The Doctor said, doing an ostentatious bow. Behind him Felix snorted and the Doctor added, "And this is my mute butler who can't talk and definitely doesn't know how to use sarcasm."

Felix glared but shut his mouth.

"A doctor? Oh, Jane! And so handsome! Congratulations- this really is better than you ever could have hoped- but, 'Disco'?" Cassandra repeated, bemused, "I don't know that name."

"Well, you wouldn't, it's from...Albania." Jane elbowed the Doctor in the side and he amended this to, "Aberdeen."

"Oh, of course," Cassandra said before turning to Jane and taking her hand, squeezing it affectionately, "I am so glad to see that you have chosen the correct path," she beamed.

"This particular path chose me," Austen responded through gritted teeth.

"I am so glad to have your acquaintance again," Cassandra enthused and then added, "You simply must meet Mrs. Ape; you will adore her." She began to lead them through the hall.

"And where is your husband, Miss Bixby?" The Doctor asked.

"He is in another part of the house, getting dressed," Cassandra responded, "He is most concerned with his appearance."

"Oh, I should imagine so," Jane said.

They began to walk up the corridor, and Cassandra took Jane's arm in hers and began to regale her with all the news she had missed during the lapse in their friendship. Jane's smile became rather fixed. As they walked, the Doctor sidled over to Felix and whispered, "ou go explore the house, try and find the husband."

Felix's eyes widened, "And do what?"

"Get him down to the drawing room; I can undo his shimmer and expose him."

"Are you sure you should do that?" Felix queried; it just didn't sit well with him.

"I told you, he's trying to eat your planet. Do you know what those words mean?"

"Fine," Felix relented, "How do I get him down there?"

"You're an actor. Make something up."

"I'm a stand-up," Felix corrected him.

"So, make up something funny." The Doctor responded.

"I hate improv."

"Oh, and you're meant to be mute, so no talking." The Doctor patted him on the shoulder and then walked briskly away, catching up with the women.

Felix rolled his eyes and muttered, "And I really hate charades."