Disclaimer: I don't own these characters...blah, blah, blah...yadda, yadda, yadda...oh and I don't own the rights to the song used in this chapter either as always! (Can you tell I'm tired of the whole disclaimer thing? LOL)

Featured Song in this chapter: No Air by Jordin Sparks (featuring Chris Brown) .com/watch?v=Icv6DgZ-9O4

Fair warning, this one is another heavy chapter. I'm looking forward to hearing your opinions!

Thanks to Sassenach Wench for her work as out Twilighted Jr. Validation Beta, and my two guest betas during version 1.0 of this story Noble Korhedron and Crazycass!

Reaching Into the Darkness

EPOV

Donna came in several times throughout the evening, always being extremely careful to not wake Bella. She slept deeply snuggled to my side, not even moving beyond the occasional babbling in her sleep that was so typical of Bella when she was tired.

In the past month I had lived with Bella, I had noticed that she had outgrown the whole sleep talking thing on a nightly basis, but it still showed up when she was really exhausted. The more tired she was, the more she tended to chatter. Judging by the continual talking she was doing today, she had run herself down so badly that it was a wonder she was still vertical when I woke up.

I listened to her whimper and cry a bit as she talked about the hostage situation. Her voice became especially strained when she started talking about me getting hurt. I couldn't help but tear up a little at how upset she had been.

She had gone a long stretch of sleeping silently by my side before she started humming a tune that was extremely familiar, but I couldn't place where I knew it from and why it made my heart ache. I listened to her hum quietly and then a memory clicked in my mind of hearing her singing the song at some point while I was floating in the darkness. It made my heart ache and burn as I remembered the sadness and longing for Bella the song made me feel, but I couldn't remember the words, or what it was about, to know why.

Not too long after Bella stopped humming, Donna came back in again. I asked her to hand me Bella's iPod that was sitting on the ledge by the window. I grabbed it and began scrolling through her song lists, trying to see if any titles jumped out at me with no luck.

"Whatcha looking for there, Edward?" Donna whispered light heartedly. She glanced at the screen while taking my temperature with the funny little thermometer that she slid across my forehead and behind my ear before checking the screen and jotting the number down.

"Bella was humming a song in her sleep earlier. I remember her singing the tune while I was out, but I don't remember the words and can't place the song. I'm trying to see if any of these titles ring a bell."

"I'm pretty good with music, maybe if you try to hum a few bars I might be able to help."

I glanced up nervously knowing that most things including basic breathing hurt like hell, so lord only knows what pain humming would cause, but it was driving me crazy. I clinched my eyes though the pain as I hummed a couple of bars. I opened them to find Donna frowning at the bed sheets before a light of recognition dawned in her eyes.

"I'm pretty sure that's No Air by Jordin Sparks. Pretty song, but it's really emotional. It's about two people being apart and how being away from them is like trying to breathe with no air."

I winced a little before smiling at her, thanking her for her help. I immediately scanned the song lists until I found the track. I slipped in the ear buds and hit play and listened as my heart lurched in my chest.

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air

If I should die before I wake
It's 'cause you took my breath away
Losing you is like living in a world with no air
Oh

I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave
My heart won't move, it's incomplete
Wish there was a way that I can make you understand

But how do you expect me
to live alone with just me
'Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to breathe

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there
It's no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gonna be without me
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe
It's no air, no air

My God, it was as if someone had taken all the feeling in my soul and published them for the world to hear. That's exactly how I felt when I was floating in the darkness when she wasn't with me, and it must have been how she was feeling too. I ran my hands through her hair, kissing the top of her head as I listened to the song continue on. The song was a little different because it was more about a couple who have broken up and moved on, but still missed one another, but it could easily be adjusted to fit our situation.

Bella stayed curled into my side all evening and night. She didn't even get up to use the restroom. I slept on and off between the interruptions of the nurse. A couple of doctors crept in and out of the room in the hours before dawn, looking disapprovingly at Bella lying at my side, but didn't say anything. I was glad because if they dared, I probably would have told them to fuck off. It was obvious my girl needed this. My arm was dead numb from the reduced circulation, but I didn't give a shit, I wasn't about to disturb her.

The sun was just starting to rise on the horizon outside the window when Bella finally stirred. She looked around in confusion before looking up at me quickly. Seeing me awake and smiling at her, she smiled back brightly, stretching her arms out while still being careful of my injuries.

"Good morning," I whispered, my voice getting much stronger, but still sounding slightly foreign with a faint crackle behind it.

"Good morning," she whispered back, shifting herself to kiss me gently on the lips.

I grabbed her neck with my good hand, holding her to me as I opened my mouth, swiping her lips with my tongue.

She smiled against my lips before opening her mouth, letting her tongue dart out to tease my lips slightly before pulling away.

"You seem to be feeling a bit better," she mused as she shifted to stand up, walking toward the restroom.

"I am and you better get your ass back in this bed as soon as you're done in there."

She shot me a look that rested somewhere between a grin and a grimace before disappearing behind the door. When she reappeared a good fifteen minutes later, she looked refreshed with her hair pulled back from her face in a ponytail and a fresh set of clothes draped around her frame.

I smiled, nodding my approval as she made her way back around my bed to sit beside me, playing with my hands. "Do you want something to drink? Are you hungry? I can go bug the nurses about food for you. Maybe they'll get orders to transition you from clear liquids to solids soon."

I squeezed her hand tightly. "I'm good for now, baby. Donna was in here just before you woke up. She said they were ordering me a special transitional tray to see how I do. If I handle it well, I can be on a regular solids diet. She ordered you a tray too, complaining that she hadn't really seen you eat any time that she's been here. Have you been eating, love?"

She shrugged, "Wasn't really all that hungry. I'll eat when you do though. I'm feeling totally famished!"

I scoffed lightly, "Well, fuck yeah, I bet you are! You really should have eaten, Bella!"

She groaned and roller her eyes at me. "Edward, please don't start. I don't have the energy right now. All I care about is that you are alive, well, and awake here beside me. Let's focus on the good things like that for a while okay?"

I sighed a bit which hurt because it made me suck in a larger than usual breath before finally nodding in defeat. I let go of her hand, raising the head of my bed a bit. I tugged on her shirt for her to sit next to me. As I wrapped my good arm around her shoulder, I handed her the iPod with the song still on the screen.

"You were humming it in your sleep. I remembered hearing it while I was out. I'm so sorry you had to go through that and feel all of that. I don't remember much besides your voice, which was the only one I could actually understand. The warm hum of your touch saved my sanity over and over. The desperate desire to hold you and comfort you frustrated me because it was sort of like I was trapped in my own body. I wanted to tell you that I loved you over and over, but I couldn't. Just know that I felt this exact same way not being able to touch you and let you know how I felt…even more so when you had to be away from me. Like the song said, without you I'm incomplete."

She watched me with sad eyes, fat tears spilling over when I was done. She shifted, grabbing my face between her hands, and kissing me gently before slowly deepening the kiss. It wasn't passionate in the erotic sense, but instead it was passionate in the sense of her doing her best to relay her deep feelings of love and devotion. I tried to do my best to send it back to her in the same way.

We kissed for a long time, only interrupted by a knock on the door as Dr. Howser walked in with a smug smile on his face. He explained that once I was finished eating, they would be transferring me to a surgery recovery floor for the rest of my stay.

He also explained that Wednesday, half of my staples would be removed and my incision would be examined. If it appeared to be closed up and healed to satisfaction, the torso and shoulder cast would be applied to limit my movements. If it weren't for the risk of infection of the incision, I would already be in a cast, but the incision needed to be properly maintained and cleaned until it was sufficiently closed.

After a week, the cast would be removed and the remainder of the staples would be taken out before a new cast would be applied. I would have to stay in the cast for a minimum of four weeks, possibly longer depending on how the ribs were healing. After that part is over, I would have to endure some physical therapy to rehab my shoulder and chest muscles before I would be released back to normal duty.

I groaned at the prospect of spending an entire fucking month in an itchy uncomfortable cast. When I really sat down and thought about it though, it was better than any of the alternatives, the largest of which being death. I sighed, accepting my fate with as much grace as I could muster.

Soon the tray of tasteless hospital slop was delivered. I did my best to eat as much as I could stomach. To my great delight, my body handled it perfectly so my next meal would be slightly less disgusting solid foods. Oh well, anything's better than another bowl of canned chicken or beef broth, weak tea, and jello.

I chuckled as I realized this whole situation has transformed me from a life long pessimist to a fucking glass is half full optimistic son of a bitch. I guess it's not a bad thing, but I couldn't help but hear one of the guys' voices in the back of my head calling me a pussy anytime my mind went that direction.

At the order of the doctor, I was going to be transferred between rooms via a gurney instead of a wheelchair. He didn't want me sitting fully upright yet, wanting to keep me as immobile as possible. Donna and four other nurses worked together to transfer me using sheets and a board.

I couldn't help but scream out in pain during the transfer. I had yet to feel pain that intense since I had woken up. At the very least, it convinced me that I was definitely not ready for any transferring or getting up on my own, much less a fucking wheelchair ride.

Once I was settled, Donna apologized not realizing it had been so long since my last pain med dose before they transferred me. She added a syringe of clear liquid to my IV. Once it had kicked in leaving me feeling dozy and a little punch drunk, they rolled me toward the elevator. Every bump in the floor sent shocks through my chest, managing to penetrate a bit through the haze of my medication. I was more than a little grateful that they had dosed me and allowed it to kick in before the journey.

Bella walked beside me, holding my hand as we navigated the hallways. We bid Donna goodbye as she left us with the transport personnel at the elevator banks. Both Bella and I hated to see her go. She had been an amazing and caring nurse. If only they were all like Donna, then the healthcare industry would be a much cheerier and better place to interact in.

We rode down to the third floor. I had to endure another painful transfer into the bed in this room. It wasn't quite as bad thanks to the fresh medicine coursing through my veins, but it still hurt like hell.

Bella settled into the recliner next to the bed. She reached out to hold my hand as nurses and aids shuffled around the room, taking my stats and updating their charts. Finally, after several long minutes, they left us alone.

I stared at Bella as she stared back for several minutes until the booming voice of Emmett filled the room from the doorway.

"Edward! You're looking a hell of a lot better than you did the last time I saw your punk ass! Glad to see you awake."

I looked over to see him smiling brightly at us. He led a line of bodies behind him. He walked straight over to Bella, pulling her into a long hug and asking her how she was doing. Rose came to sit a bear with a bundle of large balloons tied to it on the bedside table. I looked at her questioningly and she laughed.

"Emmett said you don't give guys flowers. This way you can re-gift the bear back to us when I have the baby."

I laughed, then froze, groaning at the pain in my chest as everyone cast me sympathetic smiles combined with grimaces.

Jasper and Alice came by my side next. Alice bent down to kiss me on the cheek, placing a coffee mug with another set of balloons tied to the handle next to the bear.

I looked over to see that the mug appeared to be plain black until I noticed the gold writing in the middle that read, "I survived a coma and all I got was this stupid mug." I snorted, trying not to laugh and failing miserably as the muscles around my incision screamed at me, bringing tears to my eyes.

Bella rushed to my side, brushing her hand through my hair. She hummed into my ear to help me calm down and relax.

A couple of minute later, I was relaxed back into the bed. Everyone settled around us, trying to keep the mood upbeat and yet not make me laugh again.

Jasper and Alice dismissed themselves after an hour with Alice claiming she needed to get home and get some rest for her graveyard shift in the ER tonight. Bella shivered a little in her seat. I cast a worried glance in her direction. Alice and Jasper left shortly after.

Emmett crossed to kneel in front of Bella where she sat on the edge of my bed with her fingers still twisted together with mine.

"Bella, are you okay honey?" Obviously, her reaction hadn't escaped Emmett's notice either.

She did a horrible job plastering on a fake smile, "Yeah, Em, I'm fine. Why?"

Emmett chuckled darkly, "Bells, why do you even try to lie to me? You know by now that you are a horrible liar. I can spot one coming out of your mouth from three miles away. What's going on, sweetie?"

Bella sighed as she stared down at our hands, tracing the lines in the back of my hand with her free one.

"Just the thought of the ER, I couldn't help but remember…everything." She looked back up at him slowly. "What if I can't go back in there, Emmett? What if I can't finish my internship?" She started to sniffle.

I grabbed her hand tighter, wishing so badly I could sit up and hold her close.

Emmett stepped up, providing the comfort I wanted to give her instead. He pulled her in his arms, caressing her hair, casting a concerned look over her head at me.

"It will be okay, Bella. You'll be okay. One way or another, we'll get you through your internship and residency. You've worked too hard to have the actions of one lunatic ruin it all for you now. We'll get through this."

Bella's sniffles turned into hard sobs as he clutched the back of Emmett's shirt in her tiny fist. Her knuckles where white with the pressure she was grasping the material.

"I hope so, Emmett. I hope you're right. Sitting here right now, I'm not sure I can. I have to go in for my review in two days and I'm not sure what they are going to say. I'm nowhere near over this."

He sighed, rubbing circles in her back as she let go of his shirt. He shifted to lean against the bed on the other side of her. "Don't worry about that now, sweetheart. We'll deal with that in two days. For right now, I really think you need to come home with us. Sleep in a real bed, take a long hot bath, and eat some food that wasn't mass produced in the basement of this place."

She began shaking her head hard in denial, "No, Emmett. I don't need to. I slept nearly twelve hours next to Edward last night on his bed. I…I'm fine. I'm not ready to leave him yet, and not only that…"

Emmett interrupted her, "Bells, you might have slept, but it couldn't have been deeply enough with nurses coming in and out. Even if you didn't wake all the way up, it had to have disrupted you somewhat. You look better than you did yesterday, but I can tell from looking at your eyes that you could still use more sleep."

Bella stiffened next to Emmett, gripping my hand harder. She was willing me to help her convince Emmett, but I couldn't. He was right. She really needed a full night's sleep in a bed without disruption.

"Emmett…I…I can't." She said as her hand began to shake slightly in mine.

I rubbed circles on the back with my thumb to calm her down.

"Why not, Bells? Edward will be asleep anyway. He's over the worst of it. Basically, all they're waiting for now is for his incision to heal so they can remove the staples and cast him up to send him home. There's no reason for you to stay…he's fine now!"

Bella's breathing sped a little. The shaking got worse. I saw a tear drop from her face to splash on her pants leg as she mumbled something too quietly for me to hear.

"What was that, Bells?" Emmett asked obviously not hearing her either.

"I'm not," she said a little louder as another tear fell, wetting the blue denim that covered her thigh.

"Not what, baby?" I asked rubbing more insistent circles on the back of her hand.

She looked up at me with red watery eyes. Her lip quivered slightly before she spoke. "I'm not fine, Edward. I'm nowhere near fine. I can't be away from you because I need you. You keep the nightmares away. If I leave and you're not with me, I won't be able to sleep. I'll spend all night reliving what happened down there and I…I can't do that."

Her voice broke as she spoke and my heart broke right along with it. She shrugged off Emmett's arm on her shoulder, gently lowering herself down to lay next to me, curling herself to my chest, and crying loudly into my shoulder.

"Baby, you were still having nightmares though. I heard you talking in your sleep about it all several times last night."

She hiccupped, burying her face harder in my shoulder as she shook her head. "I dreamed about it a little, but it wasn't as scary. It was more like I was watching it play out on a movie screen than I was actually living it. When you're not here, it's like I'm there again. I feel all of the feelings and experience it first hand all over again. I can't do that again!"

I wrapped my arm around her, trying to soothe her while looking up at Emmett in semi panic.

He looked back with a matching expression.

I closed my eyes, willing myself to focus on something we could do to help. When I opened them again, Rose was at his side. I mouthed to them to go get my Dad. He would know what to do to help her. If she didn't face some of this then there was no way she'd pass her review on Wednesday.

Rose disappeared into the hallway while Emmett moved to the chair, pulling it closer and rubbing Bella's back as I caressed her hair and kissed her forehead. Emmett and I looked at each other helplessly over her head.

By the time Rose walked back in with my Dad in tow, Bella had drifted off to sleep again. She melted into my side, clutching my hospital gown in her fist.

Dad walked in, crossing to talk quietly with Emmett, glancing over with a worried expression at Bella's back, before speaking some more with Emmett.

When Bella shifted, they decided to move into the hallway so they wouldn't disturb her. They finally came back fifteen minutes later. Dad crossed to my bedside. He rested a hand on the arm on my injured side, examining my IV, before speaking softly to me in his attempt to update me without waking Bella.

"What she's experiencing is all very normal for someone who has suffered a traumatic experience like what she has. I'm worried though that if she keeps hiding by you and doesn't face her issues, doesn't deal with them, then it will take her much longer to recover. She won't pass her review this week. If that happens, I can't guarantee that she won't have to repeat her intern year."

I felt the impulse to reach up to rub between my eyebrows, massaging the bridge of my nose in frustration, but both hands were busy at the time, keeping me from being able to do so. I chose to sigh quietly instead.

"What do we do, Dad?"

He frowned, clearing his throat quietly. "You need to convince her to go home tonight, Edward. She needs to start dealing with this. Literally facing her nightmares is a big step toward facing the event as a whole."

My eyes widened as my arm instinctually tightened around her shoulders. "I can't do that, Dad!" I hissed. "I can't push her away when she feels so strongly that she needs me. I can't abandon her!"

Dad reached his hand out to my shoulder, patting it gently. "Son, it's for her own good. You don't have to be mean about it, but you should simply encourage her, try to convince her. I am also going to ask my good friend Dr. Kellison to come down here and speak with the two of you. I get the impression that she will be more open to talking about things if you are with her. If we can get her started that way, then maybe she can continue on later on her own. We just need to take baby steps."

"But Dad, if we can take baby steps with that, can't we take baby steps with her sleeping? Maybe we can insist that she can stay only if she sleeps in the recliner on her own so I'm nearby. Then later, she can work her way up to sleeping at home again by the time she has to get back to the floor?"

Dad sighed, running his hands through his hair before grasping the bridge of his nose. I smirked because I knew exactly how he felt.

"If you absolutely cannot get her to spend the night at Emmett's or our house then that can be a viable alternative, but do not let her know that until you've exhausted all other options of persuading her. The sooner she starts facing things full on, the better."

I nodded and smiled gratefully at my father. "Thanks, Dad. I'll do my best."

He smiled back down at me with tears in the corner of his eyes. "You can't even begin to know how much hearing you call me that means to me. When you first said it right after we found out Bella was in danger, it made my heart warm. I wondered though if it was just something that came out in the intensity of the moment, but to hear you keep saying it over and over now that things have settled down…there are no words, Edward." His voice cracked at the end.

I reached my IV restrained hand out to grab his that rested on the side of the bed.

"I'm only sorry I didn't start calling you Dad sooner. I had this weird hang up that calling you Dad was like disrespecting the man that raised me for the first ten years of my life. I didn't want to take away from who he was because he really was a good Dad, but now I realize that it doesn't take anything from him to admit that you were a wonderful caring Dad to me too."

My eyes watered for the tenth time today, damn meds making me weepier than usual, and my voice cracked as I continued. "I can't even begin to thank you for all you have done for me. I love you and I'm thankful that in my life I have had two amazing fathers. I love you, Dad."

Dad leaned over the edge of the bed and kissed my forehead as a few tears dripped from his face onto my head. "I love you too, son. Now you get some rest. I'll check into what we can do for your Bella."

"Thanks, Dad," I whispered.

He smiled and turned to walk out of the doorway.

When he left, Emmett and Rose stepped back in for a few minutes to say goodbye, asking me to have Bella call when she woke up. They disappeared as well, leaving me alone with my love.

I caressed her forehead with my lips. I rubbed her back gently as I whispered into the quiet room. "Don't worry, my love…you reached me in my darkness and helped me climb out. Now it's my turn to do the same for you. I promise you we will get through this together."

She whimpered a little as she shifted on my shoulder. Once she was settled, I rested my cheek on her head. I closed my eyes, drifting off to join her in sleep.