Disclaimer: You know the drill; I don't own Twilight no matter how much I wish I could. I also don't own any rights to the songs mentioned in this chapter.

Another emotionally charged Bella focused chapter. We're starting to see more steps toward her healing, bit by bit now though. I created a new playlist for this chapter entitled 'kicking ass' if you want to listen along.

Thanks to my guest betas for this chapter Noble K. and Crazycass.

Disturbed

BPOV

I sat in the recliner next to Edward's bed. I had pushed it so that they were side by side. I held Edward's hand tightly as Dr. Kellison sat across from us in a plastic chair near the foot of the bed.

Dr. Kellison was beautiful with olive toned skin, long silky looking raven hair, and deep dark almond shaped eyes that lifted slightly at the outer corners, reminding me of drawings of Egyptian princesses. She had a relaxing and graceful air about her as she settled into her seat, crossing her legs, smiling sweetly at me.

She started me off easily, asking about med school, how I've enjoyed the program so far, and where I thought I wanted to focus. Her smile widened when I brought up pediatrics, explaining that this hospital had some amazing pediatric doctors that she has gotten to know quite well thanks to her children. I asked about her children with curiosity. She explained that she had a ten year old daughter, a five year old son, and another daughter that wasn't quite two years old. The twinkle in her eye grew brighter as she spoke about her children, which automatically made me smile.

She looked down at her file and then looked back up with a smile. "I see that your brother recently married Rosalie Hale, well Rosalie Swan now. She's an amazing nurse. She was my labor and delivery nurse when I delivered my youngest, and she was absolutely fantastic."

I smiled and nodded as she continued.

"This is probably something that most of the uppity doctors around here won't tell you, but you should really show as much respect and appreciation as you can for the nurses around here. They work really hard for nowhere near the deserved pay, and most of them really know their stuff. The ICU nurses probably know more than half the doctors walking around this place."

I smiled nodding. "Dr. Cullen told me that years ago when I first went premed. I've never forgotten. I have, however, run across a few nurses as of late that didn't deserve my respect, but that was because they were unprofessional…"I trailed off.

She nodded. "Yes, I heard about that. Those were most definitely extreme cases. To be honest, when I heard what Michelle said to you, I was surprised that you had the restraint to only push her out of the room considering all you have recently gone through. It's a true testament to your strength of character."

I felt Edward squeeze my hand that had stayed solidly in his throughout our conversation. I blushed and glanced down to study our intertwined fingers.

"So, how are you feeling now, Bella? You have had a very emotional several days."

I shrugged and looked over at Edward, needing to see his soothing green eyes. "It's been very exhausting. To be honest, I've been too busy worrying about Edward getting better to really think about it very much."

She nodded.

I looked over when I heard a shuffling sound to see her uncross her legs and then cross them again on the opposite side as she shuffled through some papers in her file.

She looked up at Edward and me, smiling again. "And are you feeling better now, Edward?"

I felt Edward stiffen slightly, not realizing he would have to actually participate in this little session before he cleared his throat gently. "Um, yeah…I'm doing much better. Still in quite a bit of pain. I'm sick of having to sit here and not really move at all. I'm alive and breathing though, and she's here with me and safe, so I would definitely say I'm feeling better."

She smiled and nodded before looking back at me. "I bet it's a relief to you as well, Bella, to see Edward awake and doing so much better. I can't imagine how horrifying it must have been for you to see him hurt and have to rush to save him, only to then see him taken away from you for surgery. Can you tell me about that?"

I sucked in a deep breath. I could feel the tears already stinging my eyes as my heart clenched painfully in my chest. "Horrifying is an adequate word, I guess. It…"

I looked at Edward, beginning to breathe harder, "I've never been so scared in my life. Even when Trager's gun was pointed at my own temple…it was nowhere near as terrifying as seeing Edward go down. I didn't know for sure it was him at the time, but somewhere deep inside, I believed it was."

My breath hitched. A squeak came out as I spoke, staring deep into Edward's eyes, where his own pain was visibly warring beneath the surface.

He caressed the back of my hand with his thumb.

"And when I removed his shirt and saw his birth mark, I nearly had a panic attack, but I had to focus on taking care of him first. When…"

The tears that I had managed to keep behind my lids slid down my cheek now. I wiped at them furiously. "When they wheeled him away from me, I lost it. I…I don't know how to describe it. It felt like I was going totally insane. All I could do was replay everything that happened over and over in my mind."

"Hmm…" I heard from her seat at the end of the bed with the shuffle of some more papers. "Your brother said that you stayed that way for quite a while until the coroner's office began to move the gunman's body. Then you snapped out of it, and I quote, 'like somebody slapped you,' and you pushed past him to see the assailant's body. Can I ask why you did that and how you felt about it?"

It was difficult to take a deep breath as the image of the body bag with Trager's body inside and the look of his eyes when I lifted the plastic slammed into my memory full force.

"Bella? Bella…" I could hear her addressing me, but I couldn't pull myself away to answer. "Bella, can you hear me?"

I nodded slightly, shifting to bury my face in Edward's shoulder. I hoped the smell and feel of him would help me replace the image in my mind that wouldn't let go with something more pleasant, as my breaths morphed into hard gasps.

"Bella, you need to talk about it, Bella. Hiding from it and pushing it away will only make the memories haunt you longer. The more you talk about it and confront it, the less power the memories will have over you. Come on, Bella, use your words, talk to us, or at the very least talk to Edward. He's very concerned about you, Bella. He wants you to talk to him."

I lifted my head, looking up at Edward's glistening green eyes. He looked so worried and frustrated. I knew he probably felt helpless, but I didn't know what I could do, so I started talking.

"He…he was laying there and there was so much blood. I knew better than to pull the bag below his face because the exit wound from that type of bullet would be really gory. I pu…pulled back the plastic. His eyes were open and so…blank."

I started to sob, my shoulders shaking violently with the force. Edward released my hand to cup my cheek lovingly, trying to wipe away some of the tears. He hooked his hand behind my neck, pulling my head down to his. He leaned forward slightly, touching his forehead to mine.

"You're doing good, sweetheart. Keep talking, please keep telling me. It will help you, I promise."

I took a few shivering gasps of air and opened my eyes to stare into his as our foreheads still touched. The perception from this angle made him look like he had one big green eye. For some reason, this silly perception pulled me back from the pain a bit. I let out a little snort. I pulled back and he smiled a little as he stroked my cheek again, nodding for me to continue.

"I hadn't expected the blood on his forehead and the four holes there. I know my shot was first, but four of the guys must have been just seconds behind me, but it didn't make a difference. As I stood there, I knew I had killed him. When the SWAT team came in and he was using me against them, I wanted him dead. I mean really wanted him dead. I wanted him to no longer exist, to put everyone I loved in danger…and then…then he pulled the gun. I knew he was going to hurt one of you. I was so angry. I knew if he was dead then he couldn't hurt you, but I was too slow. He shot you just as I pulled my trigger…and then he was dead. I murdered him."

Edward's eyes grew dark, his brow furrowed. "Baby, you didn't murder him. You would never have shot him if he weren't threatening harm to others. That was self defense, not murder."

"Edward, I'm…I'm supposed to save lives, no matter who is on the gurney in front of me. It's my job to first do no harm. There had to have been a better way. Maybe if I hadn't crawled away like a scared little bitch. Maybe if I'd done a better job injecting the sedative. Maybe if…"

Edward's index finger settled on my lips, stopping me in my rant as he shook his head. "No, baby…this is a normal feeling; most cops go through it the first time they have to make a kill. You did what was necessary. You saved so many people in that room that day. Do you not see that? That gun held seven bullets capable of piercing Kevlar. Six other team members could have been taken out by that son of a bitch if he had the chance. Not to mention all of the other hostages…."

He moved his fingers off my lips, cupping my cheek again, brushing my cheekbone with his thumb. "Baby, do you even know how amazing you were? You managed to escape from his grip, stab him with a syringe to slow him down, knock his gun out of his hand, push away the automatic weapon, grab the fucking trigger for a case of C4 that could easily have killed us all, and then got his hand gun. I couldn't be any more proud of you if you tried. You were so smart and strong and brave. I was scared as fuck, and yet so fucking proud. DO NOT believe for one second you did anything wrong. You want to talk about not taking lives? If you hadn't done what you did, then you would have taken all of our lives through inaction."

By the time he was done, I was sobbing again. My face, shirt, and his hand completely soaked with my tears as we just stared at each other. I reached up, cupping his cheek in my hand. We were so focused on our interaction; we had completely forgotten Dr. Kellison was in the room until she cleared her throat.

"I think we've discussed enough for the day. That was good, you two. I'm glad that the two of you share a relationship where you can support one another. Keep talking to one another whenever you can the rest of the day. If the two of you wouldn't mind, I would really like to talk again tomorrow, say 11?"

We both nodded.

She got up and collected her folders in her arms. "Bella, I would really like for you to get out of the hospital for a little while today. Your brother is in the waiting area. I will send him in when we are done. I want you to go spend a little time with him, have a good meal that wasn't cooked on premises. Go back to your place to have a nice long shower, a fresh change of clothes, and pick up something comfortable to sleep in tonight."

Edward looked up at her with surprised eyes and confusion etched in his features.

She smiled at him. "I think that for tonight, Bella would do well to not have another flashback without you nearby. I do ask though, that you sleep in the recliner, Bella, and not in bed with Edward. If you have a nightmare, Edward can comfort you. Then, when you have calmed, you should return to the recliner. You can hold hands, but no more contact that that. Do you think that the two of you can try that tonight?"

We both nodded. I rested my head against Edward's shoulder.

"Good, I will see you both tomorrow," she said with a smile. With that, she disappeared into the corridor.

I turned to Edward with a bewildered look.

He sighed and smiled at me with his crooked little smirk. "Good Job, baby," he whispered as he pushed my hair behind my ear.

"It was hard, and well, I just don't see how talking about it is going to make it all get better. It's just dragging it to the surface over and over again."

He shrugged, "I'm not the professional, love, but I think it's sort of like a desensitization thing. The more you face a fear or a challenge, the less it scares you or seems difficult to you over time…or at least that's my guess."

I smiled at him, "Maybe you should have been the doctor."

He chuckled, "Nah, I get too antsy and like kicking ass too much."

With that, we both laughed a little. I climbed onto the bed, nuzzling my face in his neck. Taking a deep draw of his scent, I kissed his neck. I smiled against the warm flesh behind his ear as my kisses earned a husky groan.

"Oh, Baby, you need to stop that or else we're going to have bigger problems on our hands. We can't exactly take care of any issues that come up here with people coming in and out every five minutes."

I pulled back, biting my lip apologetically, leading to another groan as his eyes rolled up in his head. "That's not much better, love."

I chuckled, "Sorry, sweetie. If it weren't for the fact that you need to be resting your lungs and heavy breathing would be more painful than any pleasure you might receive, I would offer to help take care of that later tonight. I'm afraid it wouldn't do you much good though."

He pouted and I laughed a little harder just as Emmett walked through the door with a wide smile.

"Now that's a hell of a lot better. I missed that laugh, squirt!"

I smiled up at him, crossing the room to hug him, "Hi Em." I glanced back at Edward with a sad sigh. I really didn't want to leave him.

He knew what I was thinking though. He nodded toward the door with a smile.

I sighed again and turned to Emmett.

"So, I hear you're breaking me out of here for a while today."

Emmett's mischievous smile had me a little nervous.

"Yep, you and I are going to go get some lunch. Then I have a side stop before I take you back to your place to take a shower and change, then I bring you back."

He turned to Edward with a wide smile and wink. "Don't expect her back for at least four or five hours."

"Four or five hours?" I squeaked as I looked up at my bear of a brother with wide eyes.

He nodded, placing his hand at the small of my back, leading me toward the door.

"Hold on a sec," I blurted before pulling away from him, running over to Edward's bedside for one last kiss.

"You need me to bring anything back for you? Any contraband you have a specific craving for?" I asked with a wink.

He whispered in my ear, "The only contraband I'm craving, I can't have because, apparently, heavy breathing is not a possibility right now. I guarantee you though that as soon as that is no longer the case, we'll both be doing a lot of heavy breathing together."

He chuckled.

I pulled away wide eyed with a bright red blush. "You're just a little evil," I whispered in response with a smirk.

He just nodded, pulling me toward him again for another kiss.

"Have fun with your brother, Bella. I'm certainly not going anywhere."

I smiled, kissing his forehead. I looked around to make sure his water, remote control, and call button for the nurse's station were within easy reach, before finally joining Em by the door, letting him lead me to the elevators.

We got into the tiny metal box and began to descend to the ground floor. When the doors opened, Emmett led me through the corridors. "Where are we going, Em? The front doors are this way."

"I know, but Carlisle asked for me to bring you by personnel first to fill out some kind of leave of absence paperwork before we left today."

I froze mid step.

Emmett turned to look back at me with a worried expression.

Going to personnel was going to take us right past the ER waiting room. I just wasn't ready to go there again. I pleaded with Emmett with my eyes.

He looked back apologetically, as he held my hand, pulling me to his side.

"I'm sorry, Bells, but you have to do this. I promise we won't go in there. We'll just walk past through the hallway as quickly as we can and then we'll leave. You don't even have to look in there if you don't want."

I sighed. My legs felt like I had thick heavy weights strapped to my ankles as we grew closer and closer to the waiting room. We had to simply cross the corridor that led to the waiting room as we walked down the hallway to personnel, but I could still feel the dread. As we approached the junction that led to the ER waiting area, Emmett pulled me closer to his side, making sure to place himself between me and the room. Four steps and we were past the corridor. I sighed, swallowing past the lump in my throat, as we walked up to the door for personnel and walked in.

It only took about five minutes to sign the paperwork. We exited the room and started walking toward the junction again. Before we reached it, I felt the need to stop in the middle of the hallway.

Emmett looked at me worriedly.

I put my hand to his chest, indicating for him to wait, as I stepped to the corner. I peeked down the hallway toward the waiting room. I didn't want to look, but somehow I knew that I needed to. If I couldn't even look at the room, then I might as well throw my whole intern year away.

My breathing was a bit labored. I felt some tears prickling in my eyes as I looked at the quiet tan waiting room filled with bright orange chairs, as my heart pounded hard in my chest.

Part of me was disquieted by how absolutely normal it all looked. Seeing it right now, you would never know that someone had held us hostage against that far wall and later died in the middle of the floor of that room. For some reason, the fact that everything seemed unaffected was more upsetting to me than if it still had the yellow caution tape up and officers milling around, taking pictures, and writing notes in little black flipbooks.

I stood blinking for a few minutes. I could feel my body shaking, but I wasn't reacting nearly as badly as I thought I would. I took a few deep breaths and wrapped my arms around my waist before turning back to Emmett. I nodded toward the direction we needed to continue walking.

He smiled at me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder, and hugging me tightly into his side with three quick squeezes. He rested his cheek on the top of my head, pulling me along toward the main lobby.

I had thought that we would just eat somewhere close to the hospital and then drop off at the apartment for a while. Imagine my surprise when he stuffed me into a cab and took me fifteen minutes away to the little mom and pop restaurant that he and boys liked to go to that was near the station.

When we walked in, the owners came over, smiling and hugging Emmett. Then their gazes turned to me. I was shocked to see awe and reverence in their eyes as they ushered me into a seat, fawning over me as if I were the queen of England or something. They took my drink order and shuffled off. I looked over at Emmett bewildered.

Emmett looked at me and chuckled, "Just a little hero worship, sis. You've been so cut off from everything in that room that you don't realize what a local hero you happen to be right now."

"Excuse me? Local hero?"

He smiled, reaching across the table top to grab my hand. "Bella, you did something amazing in that room. You took care of everyone, kept them calm, treated the sick, and got them all out alive. Every single person in there with you that spoke to the media afterward went on and on about how you saved their lives. Your face as been on the news nearly every night since it all started."

I shook my head, trying to wrap my head around what Emmett was saying. It just didn't make any sense. Then again, not much had since Trager walked into that waiting room waving his guns around. The image popped into my head and I shivered at the memory with a long sigh. To my relief, I didn't melt into sobs this time, but I did feel every muscle in my body tense.

Soon the couple came back. I ordered the chicken and dumplings with mashed potatoes. They smiled widely before rushing away again. I played with the condiments on the table, slowly shredding my napkin in front of me, not really knowing what to do with myself as Emmett attempted to make small talk with me. Soon I heard voices behind us, several of whom I recognized. I glanced over my shoulder to see a large group of both uniformed and street clothed officers come in, talking loudly, and laughing together.

I smiled widely when my eyes landed on a mop of blonde hair and a shortly buzzed brown head next to it heading straight for me. I was about halfway out of my seat when I was whipped up out of it the rest of the way, held off the ground in a strong hug. I wrapped my arms around his neck and squeezed back.

"Hi Jazz," I whispered in his ear. "Are you okay? I'm really sorry you know."

I felt my feet meet floor as I looked up to see his nose and under his eyes were still bruised. Thankfully, he no longer had to wear a bandage.

"I'm fine. You don't need to apologize, Bella. You weren't yourself."

I grimaced, nibbling on my lip sheepishly. "I know, but I still feel horrible about it."

He shooed my concerns off with his hand, motioning for Emmett to slide over into the other chair so he could sit next to him.

I turned to face Andy who was staring down at me with a frown. "Are you really okay, Bella Blue? I've been worried about you."

I smiled at his use of my old nickname because I refused to wear anything besides blue jeans when I first moved to Chicago. "I wouldn't say I'm okay, but hopefully I'll get there eventually. I'm better though."

He nodded, pulling me into a gentle, but loving hug. He rested his cheek against the top of my head, a gesture that I noticed was happening much more often since the whole mess. We both sighed. He let me go finally, sliding into the booth and pulling me in next to him.

The four of us sat and ate. I tried to joke with them and enjoy the time, but I often found my mind wandering, most of the time to Edward. I hoped that he was using his call button if he needed anything. I knew Edward, he would do his best not to use it, but with his orders to keep as still as possible, he really needed to. I really hoped Esme or someone decided to pop in for a visit while I was gone. It would go a long way to making me feel better about leaving him if they had.

Before we were done eating, a group of uniformed officers approached the tables. They talked to the guys a second before their gazes shifted to me. Their faces shifted a bit before looking back at Emmett. "So is this Masen's girl? The one who took out the perp at NW's ER?"

Emmett nodded and smiled at me. "She also happens to be my kid sister. Bella, this is Alan Campbell, Elliott Craigen, and Joey Spencer…guys this is Dr. Bella Swan."

They all looked at me with strange expressions before shaking my hand. They nodded at me, asking how Edward was doing and how I was. I answered their questions, thanking them for asking. After a few more uncomfortable minutes, they bid us goodbye and left.

Emmett, Jasper, and Andy all shot looks at each other over the table.

I looked at the three of them before sighing. "What? You three are doing that whole nonverbal communication thing. It's annoying, so share with the rest of the class."

Emmett looked at Jasper who looked back with a frown. Jasper finally sighed and looked back at me with a shrug. "That was just kind of interesting is all. Those three are the cockiest sons of bitches in this place, which since you know all of us, means a hell of a lot. We've never seen them show that much respect to anyone ever, not the rest of the officers, not their superiors, not the chief, and especially not any woman."

Emmett took a bite and mumbled through his full mouth while gesturing with his fork, "Yeah, and I'm not so sure I like it. I don't trust those douchebags."

I snorted and shook my head. "When it comes to me, you don't trust anybody, Em."

Jasper and Andy chuckled along, shaking their heads in agreement, as Emmett tried to defend himself.

"Not true, I trust Edward with you."

We all started laughing harder. I bent over at the waist and spat between giggles, "Not before giving him evil looks for a month and threatening his life if he screwed things up. You didn't start lightening up on him until after I moved in with him!"

I could tell he wanted to argue, but there was nothing to be said. Every word was true.

"So what's next for the two of you?" Andy asked looking at Em as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

"I thought I'd take her over to the gym at the station for a while."

I shot him an incredulous look.

He smirked at me. "Trust me, squirt, this will be something you'll enjoy. Rosalie stopped by your place and grabbed a pair of sweats and shit for you to change into in the women's locker room. Then you can come to the gym to chill with me for a while."

"Sweet, can I come too?" Jazz asked with a twinkle in his eye. "This I want to see!"

Emmett smiled and nodded. Andy expressed an interest in observing as well.

My stomach began to flutter in fear of what my brother had planned.

Fifteen minutes later, I was walking into the gym at the station in a pair of black yoga pants, black spaghetti strap tank top with red and white stripes along the side, and a pair of extremely white, new looking tennis shoes. My hair was secured high on my head in a ponytail. I looked around to find the boys all huddled in the corner near the big bag hanging from the ceiling. They were all smirking my way, fiddling with the radio.

I walked up to them curiously.

Emmett walked up to me holding a pair of boxing gloves. He slid them over my hands, securing the Velcro straps at the wrist, and began telling me that I was about to get out some aggression. He led me to the big bag and started telling me about form and the proper way to hold your hand to keep from injuring your wrists, arms, fingers, and such. Then he stepped behind the bag, telling me to give it a go. He nodded behind him at Andy who hit the play button on the stereo.

I stood there a second, listening to the music pump across the stereo as Prodigy's Firestarter filled the room. I stood like he told me and punched forward weakly, earning jeers from the boys. I took a couple more tentative hits and then my mind started to wander a bit. I thought about the frustrations of the past few days and my punches grew harder.

The boys cheered me on as I began to sweat, beating the bag with my right and then my left and then switching it up.

After a while, Jasper came over, showing me a few more punches.

I started to switch up with a few jabs and uppercuts.

The first song ended followed by Disturbed Down With The Sickness. Out of nowhere, something sparked a memory of when Trager walked into the waiting room. I felt rage fill me and something bubbled up from my chest that sounded like a growl. I attacked the bag with all the strength I could muster. When my arms got heavy and sore, I used my knees and feet to pummel the bag as hard as I could. Sometime in the middle of it all, I started the scream and shout, throwing all my anger into that damn bag. When I finally exhausted myself both physically and emotionally, I slumped to my knees on the floor, breathing hard and sobbing, but feeling lighter somehow.

I looked up to see a stunned Emmett, Jasper, and Andy, as well as a few others who walked in behind me. The three douchebags from the café were there as well.

Finally, Andy came over, offering me a hand.

I accepted it before standing up on wobbling legs.

He led me over to my stunned brother who opened his arms to me. Emmett held me close as I melted, completely exhausted, into his arms. He brushed his hands down my back, whispering he was sorry, as Jasper came over and began removing the gloves from my sore hands.

After a few minutes, I finally pulled myself together again. I wrapped my arms around Emmett's waist.

"No, it is okay, Emmett. It was a good thing. I think I needed that. Thank you."

He nodded, asking one of the female officers in the room to go grab my things for me. After she brought them to us, we climbed into Jasper's car.

They all drove me to the apartment where they helped me back to the bedroom I shared with Edward, leaving me alone to shower and change.

When I came out, I felt a million times better. I was pretty sore from beating the shit out of the workout bag. I was pretty sure my hands and knees would be bruised tomorrow, but it had really helped to exorcise some of my anger and frustration in a way that I hadn't been able to do as of yet.

I walked into the living room, flopping onto the couch next to Emmett who handed me two ibuprofen and a bottle of water, which I greedily drank down.

"So, was that really your idea or did Dr. Kellison suggest it?"

Emmett looked over surprised. "Well she didn't suggest that exactly, but she did say she wanted me to give you a chance to vent some of your frustrations to me. I figured a good old fashioned match with the bag was about the best way I knew to release pent up anger and frustration. My mistake was underestimating exactly how pent up you really were. Holy Shit, sis, I've never seen anyone go at that bag like that!"

I chuckled, resting my head on his shoulder. "What can I say; I've been feeling pretty fucking frustrated."

All the guys chuckled.

We sat for a little while, talking quietly, before they finally decided it was time to get me back to Edward.

We walked into his room to find Esme and Carlisle sitting with him, talking softly. Poor Edward looked exhausted, but when his eyes rested on me, a bright smile lit his face and his eyes twinkled excitedly.

"Hey, baby, I missed you. Did you have a good time with Emmett?"

I crossed the room, leaning down to kiss his forehead as I brushed a hand through his hair. "Yeah, baby, it was a good day. How was your day?"

He shrugged with his good shoulder, "Same as every other day here…sit as still as fucking possible, trying not to move while bored to tears."

I smiled compassionately until Edward looked at my hands and grimaced. "What the fuck? Emmett, what the hell did you do to my girl?"

Emmett shrugged from across the room, "I took her to the station and let her beat the shit out of the big hanging bag. Squirt went ape shit on the thing and bruised her hands and knees, but I think it did her some good. She told me it did anyway."

He looked up at me incredulously.

I smiled, running my hand through his hair again, nodding. "It felt good to purge some of the anger and frustration. I think I'm going to get him to take me again in a few days, once the bruises heal some. Maybe I won't get quite so aggressive next time."

Edward gestured for me to climb up on the bed with him.

I snuggled into his side as he kissed the top of my head, stroking my arm. He buried his nose in my hair above my ear. "Are you really okay, Bella?"

I sighed softly, "Yes, Edward, I'm really okay. I think this might be the first time since all of this happened that I could actually say that and mean it."

I lifted my head, kissing his lips gently, before turning back to say bye to Emmett as he excused himself. I sat and talked to Esme and Carlisle, who sat in their seats, smiling at us sweetly.

Carlisle asked how the meeting with Dr. Kellison went. I told him all about what she said and how I had reacted to the waiting room and the punching bag.

He smiled and nodded as he listened. A couple of hours later, they left.

I settled in with Edward to watch some TV and just relax. I knew I wasn't past this by a long shot, but for the first time since Trager walked into the waiting room, I felt the muscles in my back fully relax as I cuddled next to Edward. When it was time to go to bed, I did as Dr. Kellison suggested. I pulled the recliner as close to Edward's bed as I could, reaching out to hold his hand on the bed as we drifted off to sleep.

The nightmares came that night, just like every night, and I cried just like every night. I climbed into bed with Edward and let him calm me back down. Then I did as Dr. Kellison asked, returning to the recliner when I could. We held hands again, and the rest of the night, I was able to sleep without waking in tears.

Bella's not all better and she won't be overnight, but she's slowly opening up more and facing some of the trauma and slowly she's learning to cope a bit more. There are no easy fixes when someone faces a major trauma that leaves psychological scars, so this will take her a bit of time, but she's not giving up.