Chapter Four

Three weeks ago

Spotted. Chuck Bass looking particularly un-Bass-like. What is he hiding under that hoodie, girlfriends?

Serena could almost hear Gossip Girl's catty voice as she spied Chuck walking slowly on the pavement, wearing a sacrilegious assortment of casual wear: slacks, a plain shirt and … a jacket with a hoodie. She told the limo driver to stop and got out. At first, Chuck didn't notice her, but when she came uncomfortably close to his side, he looked up and his eyes widened.

He quickly hid his surprise.

"Hello, sis. Are you adding espionage to your list of 'careers to try out' before university?" Chuck drawled.

"Look who's talking," Serena shot back.

Chuck actually looked embarrassed. "It's a passing … phase," he muttered as he pulled his hoodie so that it obscured his face further.

"Chuck," she said, more serious this time. "Why are you disguised, and why are you walking?"

He scowled. "Everyone walks in New York."

"Not Chuck Bass," she said.

He rolled his eyes and started walking again. Serena doggedly matched his strides.

"At least take the limo, Chuck."

"It's too slow."

"For your hospital appointment?"

He froze and gave her an icy glare.

Or at least his best approximation of it. His usually frosty glares were now blunted with exhaustion. In fact, everything about his demeanor echoed the fatigue and pain he must feel after the ordeal he had suffered in Prague. What was it that he told her? A week in a semi-lucid state doped to the tips of his hair with morphine and another two weeks, bedridden, as he tried to regain his strength?

Her mother was worried that her usually ambitious and party-loving step son was now hiding away in the Palace, of course, but attributed the change to his bad break up with Blair. But Serena knew the real reason – and it gnawed at her conscience to keep this a secret for him.

"The last thing Bass Industries needs is for the shareholders and the public to know that I am … less than healthy. And aren't you supposed to be busy with your annual bitch fest with Waldorf?" he bit out.

"And whose fault is that? Blair thinks that I'm trying to move to fourth base with you."

He looked startled, then disgusted.

"Thanks, Chuck," she said wryly.

"I never told you to follow me like a lost puppy, Serena. So, here's a clue to solving your current fracas with Blair: Leave. Me. Alone."

With that, he continued his march towards the hospital. He sighed when Serena remained at his side, but didn't say anything. They walked silently for a few minutes, and then Chuck let out an exasperated sigh.

"Look, sis. You never really took the whole brother-sister thing between us seriously, so don't start now." He sounded tired and resigned.

She ignored the jibe.

"I know what you're trying to do, Chuck."

"Oh, really? Enlighten me."

"You're trying to push me away. That's your modus operandi. Whenever things get a little too emotionally challenging, you withdraw like a turtle into its shell."

"Spare me the shrink analysis," he muttered. Before he could start walking again, Serena grabbed his shoulder.

"Chuck," she said pleadingly.

The tone of her voice made him pause. He eyed her warily.

"I only agreed to keep this a secret for you as long as I can … make sure you're okay."

"I don't remember you making such a promise. Or me agreeing."

"Well, I'm saying it now. Like it or not, we're family. And I'm the only family who knows about this. You're right. I took our relationship for granted before, but not anymore. I want to be here for you. In a non-romantic way, of course," she added hastily, giving him a lopsided grin.

Chuck looked at her uncertainly, then sighed. "I guess I can't stop you," he muttered.

"I take that as a yes," she said brightly.

Surprisingly, Chuck gave her a small smile.

Another interesting change with Chuck – while he still tried his best to hide physically and emotionally from his friends and family, there were now moments when he caught them off guard with a small emotional expression or two.

"This is going to be interesting – how are you going handle things with Blair now?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Maybe I'll push her into another cake?" she suggested.

Another smile. This time, one that reached his eyes.

In a way … she understood why Chuck refused to tell Blair. "I have to let her move on, Serena," he had told her simply. And he had looked so vulnerable then, and so desperate for her to agree that she couldn't say no to him. Nate, Lily, Eric … they couldn't keep a secret worth a damn (his words) and were included in the list as a result. If she hadn't stumbled on him in Paris, incapacitated by a rare bout of paralysing pain, she would've been on that list too. Hell, Chuck would probably have remained in Paris – possibly forever – if she had not discovered his secret and threatened to tell everyone about it unless he returned with them to New York City. And Chuck had counter-blackmailed her by saying that if she did breach her promise, he'd be on the first plane out of NYC with no return address.

She took his threat seriously. His eyes said it all.

She struggled daily with the secret, wondering if she was doing everyone a disservice by hiding Chuck's continuing health problems. Although Chuck wasn't exactly sharing the full details of his ailments to her, Serena could guess by his occasional wince of pain and how he sometimes looked washed out and dazed at the many galas, functions, and events that he had to attend as scion of Bass Industries to realise that he wasn't exactly in the bloom of health.

What he needed were his friends and family by his side, but Chuck was determined to slog through this alone. Serena had known Chuck for as long as she knew Nate and Blair, and she knew that being surrounded by a flock of overly concerned friends and relatives was the kiss of death for him. The pressure to keep up his ever-present emotionless wall would've been unbearable, and he would've retreated even further. Right now, he wanted and needed to be left alone. It was probably all he could handle now.

So, it was up to her to support him somehow. If someone had told her four years ago that she would one day be a pillar of support to Chuck Bass, she would've laughed at their face and asked them if Chuck was paying them to say that.

Things have really changed.

"You know, the outfits that Nathaniel and Humphrey are so very fond of is actually quite comfortable," he said suddenly. Then he gave her a mock, dangerous look: "Breathe a word of it to anyone and I'll destroy you."

"Not a word, promise," she made a zipping motion across her lips and tossed an imaginary key behind her shoulder.

That seemed to amuse him, and he laughed shortly. The sound of it – a laugh so free of cynicism or bitterness – was so unlike him that it made her grin all the more.

Yes, things have really changed.

GG – GG – GG

Present

Serena trailed behind Blair, and watched her silently as she ran towards Nate who sat slumped on the floor of the waiting room. They must make an odd sight in the sterile room – Blair in her flowing red Oscar de la Renta and Serena in a backless Chanel. But the people in it – there were only four – were too preoccupied with their own personal tragedies to care.

Blair knelt next to Nate, speaking quietly to him. He shook his head occasionally, but looked mostly subdued and numb. Her heart began to race … something must have happened in the ambulance.

When she finally stood before them, the two of them looked up at her. Their eyes glittered with accusation.

She ignored it.

"Is he ..."

"He's in the ER. He crashed," Nate said shortly, his voice flat.

She shivered. "What do you mean he crashed?" she tried unsuccessfully to keep the panic from her voice.

"I heard the paramedics saying that he went into shock," he shrugged. "I don't know what the hell is going on." He sounded angry.

"But Serena obviously does," Blair said bitingly.

"Blair –"

"Serena. What the hell happened? I think you owe us that much, don't you think?" Nate said, his eyes angry.

She wanted to yell at them that she didn't owe them squat; that while they were busy plotting, dating, social-climbing or worrying about grandfathers, gay fathers and how to be the queen bee of Columbia, she was with Chuck, helpless to do anything to help him because he wouldn't let her in.

Instead, she took a steadying breath. And told them.