The Drugs Don't Work

I hope you're thinking of me
As you lay down on your side
Now the drugs don't work
They just make you worse
But I know I'll see your face again...

Bella cried herself to sleep. So exhausted, she didn't even stir when I lifted her off me to place a pillow between us. I didn't want her to freeze. I watched her for hours, sleeping peacefully with her arm draped around my waist. When I saw it was nearing midnight, I knew I had to wake her. With regret, I called her name softly. It drew no response. I pressed my cold lips against her head and she mumbled something and instead of flinching or cringing at my icy touch, she turned into me more, snuggling in even closer. How could she do that?

"Ughhh...Bella!" I whispered in frustration. I didn't want to wake her; didn't want to take her home and leave her, but it had to be done.

Once I got her alert enough to move her, I re-dressed her and placed my own jacket on her over top of hers and then I carried her back to the car.

"Go back to sleep my sweet," I whispered as I secured her in her seat.

When I pulled into her driveway, she awoke with a start. "Noooo! I slept...I missed all our time!"

Smiling gently, I helped her out. "You needed it. We'll have more time. Come on. I see your mom waiting at the door."

I supported her by her waist, her legs still wobbly from sleep and medication, up the stairs where Renee waited - not angry, but concerned.

"I thought she wasn't coming home..."

"I'll always bring her home," I vowed as I helped her inside. "She had a good sleep. I didn't want to disturb it too soon."

Renee nodded, but her thoughts were skeptical. "Feeling better honey?"

Bella nodded, her hand still gripping my shirt at the waist. "Thanks for spending time with me," she said as she turned to face me. "And the talk...and understanding. For everything..."

I stared into her soul as she liked. "I'm going to come see you in the morning. If you get some more rest, you can come to school with me, but if you're still tired...I'll just come back later on, okay?"

She nodded with an appreciative grin, her eyes locked on mine.

I pulled her phone from her pocket. "I've just added myself to your contacts, okay? You can call me...any time. Any time at all Bella. For any reason." I was now feeling her slipping away again and I didn't want the greyness to return. "Bella?" I pleaded gently as I stooped to be closer to her. "You can do this...you're strong. So strong..."

Her eyes lit up as she smiled that beautiful Bella smile, and then she planted a very quick kiss on my lips, squeezed me tightly and ran up the stairs. I was left with her mother, who'd witnessed the whole scene and was staring at me curiously.

"I should go..."

"Just one minute? Please, I'd like to talk to you. It won't take long." She ushered me out onto the porch. I already knew what was on her mind. "You seem like a very nice boy. And you've been a really good friend to Isabella today, but Edward, she's not as strong as you think she is. She may be fine with you, and that's great. That's wonderful! It's like seeing my old Isabella come back." She wore a sad smile.

"But when you're not here... Edward, I don't want her isolating herself or being destructive. I guess what I'm saying is...be her friend. Somehow, you reach her; you can get in." Her eyes moved to mine and held my gaze steadily. "But only if you can stick with it. The in and out, back and forth with this, is rough. She hasn't had a good friend in a very long time."

"I understand," I said quietly. I did. But I couldn't promise anything, as much as wanted to. "I'll do what I can for her."

Another sad smile. "You seem very sweet. I just...honey, Isabella is a very troubled girl and you're still a kid yourself. Professionals couldn't even help her so I don't want you getting in over your head."

Hmph. Too late. I just nodded my understanding.

"One more thing before I let you go. And I really hate that I'm even saying this, she would kill me..."

I smiled as a frown formed on her brow, knowing full well this wasn't about her fragile emotional state. "I'll be respectful."

"It's just easy to take advantage of her situation..." she hurriedly explained.

"It's okay." I turned on the full vampire charm. "I would never do anything Isabella didn't want me to do."

'That's what I'm afraid of...'

"My mother would kill me if I wasn't a complete gentleman." I grinned as I continued around her thoughts. "At the very least, disown me."

'He's a momma's boy...awww... Maybe this one can be trusted. I don't have many options right now...' "Thank you Edward. You're welcome to come around here any time. And I hope this wasn't too awkward for you."

Bella was dressed and waiting for me in the morning. I felt a little disheartened when I registered shock from her that I'd actually shown up. Then I reminded myself it was a good thing. I couldn't completely fuck her up if she had no expectations.

"How do you feel?" I asked with a warm smile, greeting her on the porch.

She scrunched up her face. "Anxious for school...I must be crazy!"

I laughed and took her bag from her. She was clear.

"Mom, we're going!" She called out unnecessarily, Renee was right there. "Oh! Um, by the way, I had a Coke last night. 2, actually. I thought you should know."

Renee frowned playfully and swatted her backside with the dish towel in her hand. "You know better! But thanks for being honest about it sweetie."

"You're not allowed Coke?" I asked, in the dark on this one.

"No...she's not...sugar doesn't agree with Bella. Caffeine is just evil!" They laughed together and Renee mouthed 'Thank you!' over Bella's shoulder as they embraced.

"My mom has an honesty thing..." Bella explained as we drove off.

"As does her daughter; except when it comes to plotting no good. Why did you ask me to get you Coke when you shouldn't be drinking it?"

"It's fine...it helps me come out of the stupor. Really. It's the only thing I've found effective." 'Besides you.'

I scowled at her before chuckling.

"You do a good job of it too," she smiled shyly. "Was it really horrible for you last night?"

"Dreadful, yeah. I hated every minute of having you all to myself, sleeping on my lap," I teased her.

"And the mother talk afterwards?" 'Oh god, please don't tell me she told you not to have sex with me...'

"What's that term you used...? Peachy?"

She returned my grin. "Great. But you're not peachy. Unless you're medicated as well and just haven't 'fessed up."

"No. Definitely not medicated. Are you saying your mother is?"

"Fuck yeah! Constantly! Except her happy pills just make her mellow..."

"Peachy..."

"Peachy," she agreed.

Interesting. Renee was also medicated, yet I could read her thoughts without clouding, but Bella's remained foggy and sporadic. Perhaps Carlisle could shed some light on that for me. I made a mental note to ask him about that later on.

Carlisle couldn't help. Aside from not knowing which drugs were in question, my mind reading in itself was unexplainable. His best guess was that it had more to do with Bella, herself, than the medication. Not having any resolve after our talk, I was left irritable. I shouldn't have approached Alice in that state, but I did regardless.

"I thought you said she was in danger." My tone was accusatory and it put Alice on the defensive instantly.

"Don't come at me like that! I don't even know the girl! Anything I see about her probably comes from you, asshole!"

"Yeah, well you were way off Alice and I could have done something stupid! Can you just stay out of it? Especially if you're getting it all wrong. I've got enough to deal with without your backwards interference."

"Fine! Don't ask me to look for anything then! And I won't bother telling you that you're going to have another issue to deal with after the weekend!" She wore a haughty expression that made me want to strangle her. Worse, she blocked me from her thoughts.

"What issue? What's happening this weekend?" I placed my demanding questions on deaf ears. She was pissed. "Alice, please...I'm sorry for being an ass. I'm just really on edge and I don't know what I'm doing...I don't want to make a fatal mistake. Please help me. Please?" My apology and pleading softened her.

Sighing, she placed her hand on mine. "You have to pay attention to time when you're with her Edward. You're being careless and not watching how the weather's changing. You're going to get stuck with her, alone, and unfed."

I was stunned. I was being careless. "Okay. Thanks."

"I don't see you hurting her. It's you that's hurting."

I nodded, knowing exactly what she meant. With each passing moment with Bella, I desired her more and in a multitude of ways.

"I'm only warning you so you can alter it yourself," Alice advised. "I don't know her well enough, myself, to see whether or not I'm misreading. She seems incredibly impulsive to me."

To me as well. She'd already caught me by surprise a few times. If I had to bet, I'd say Alice was right on this one. So, another trip or illness was coming up - I'd have to avoid her again this weekend.

I was trying to figure out how to tell her on Friday as she was making plans to get together and rehearse. It wasn't a meager task, I soon realized as her mother even got in on it when I walked Bella to the front door after school.

"Hi guys! I'm running out to the store. Edward, why don't you keep Isabella company until I get back?"

"Great! We can try out some songs!" She grabbed my hand and yanked me inside with her before I could protest.

"I won't be long!" Renee smiled as she exited. 'Please don't let me down Isabella. I'm just starting to trust you again.' "Be good."

Bella rolled her eyes at the kiss her mom blew. "God, she's so...argh! Is your mom like that?"

I had no idea. Esme did gush over me, but I'd never had a guest over. "I guess," I chuckled and followed Bella's lead, removing my jacket and shoes.

"We'll go upstairs, all my stuff's there. Want anything? Snack, drink..."

"I'm good thanks," I smiled at her.

She grabbed herself an orange juice and led me to her room. It looked just as dark from the inside as it did from the tree by her window, not bright and girly like Alice's. The walls were bare and aside from her guitar, there was nothing that would tell me Bella lived here. I guess I had been too distracted to notice the barren decor the only other time I was actually in her room.

"I know, blech...right?" Bella waved her hand around her bland room.

"You can read my mind now?" I teased. "Do you actually live here? I mean, where's your stuff?"

"There!" She giggled as she pointed to her guitar. "And here." She pulled her iPod out of her pocket. "Oh, you missed my company!" Taking me by the arm, she turned me around to take a look at a very sad looking, sun-deprived plant. And a fish. It was still alive, at least.

"A fish huh?" I bent to have a closer look. It was attractive enough - for a fish.

"My best buddy!"

Her best buddy was dark crimson red; the colour of blood. I smirked at the irony. "Cool. Does it have a name?"

"Jake."

"Jake? A fish called Jake?" I chuckled.

"Don't laugh! He's named after the guy who gave it to me."

A flash of jealousy struck me and I wasn't so enamored with her fish anymore. "Same guy give you the dead plant?"

Her eyes flashed up at me briefly and then looked away. "No. No one gave it to me. I took it. So are we gonna figure out a song, or what?"

Somehow, I'd fucked up and her mind was not telling me any more than her voice. It must be the jealousy...a new thing to me. Determined to keep human jealousy from turning to vampire rage, I immediately softened. "Anything you'd like to play. I'm just here to help."

"Wish you had your guitar here. I've only got one..."

"Which you will play. I'll sing." I took it off the stand and passed it to her. "I've played for you, now it's my turn to listen." She didn't know that I had already heard her play, of course, many times from outside her window.

Taking a seat, she strummed out warm-up riffs before plugging in to her amp. We tried a few that just didn't feel right. When she took a bathroom break, I played around with her guitar. "Know this one?" I strummed a few bars and she got the song right away.

Smiling, my blunder from earlier seemingly dismissed, she encouraged me to continue with the game. I hit on one several tunes later that would stick as our song. 'Together'...it seemed perfect.

Our first run-through felt right and when it was over, she collapsed back on her bed, guitar laying across her. I took it off her and replaced it on the stand.

"I don't think we should over-practice." I grinned down at her.

Smiling up at me she held her arms out. "Help me up?"

I took her hands in mine and pulled very gently, fearing I'd rip them out of the sockets if she resisted at all. She didn't let go once she was standing. Our hands intertwined and our eyes locked on each other, I felt an odd dizziness as I felt her warm breath on my neck.

"Bella..." I murmured, my voice raspy.

"Hey, I didn't have salami today." Her own voice was low and playful. She wanted to attempt the kiss again. Was I ready?

"Your mom..." I whispered.

"She's downstairs. I hear the water running in the kitchen. It'll be fine. Unless you don't want to..."

"I do Bella. You have no idea..." My tongue flicked over my lips. I could practically taste her.

"So..." She tipped her face up towards mine and her hands went on my waist.

I kept my eyes on hers as I lowered to meet her lips. I wanted to keep a visual reminder that this was someone I cared about, not prey. Her lips were soft and warm against mine and a low moan passed through them as I eased away. Oh god... I wanted to feel that again. I wondered if I could...

"Your mother..." I muttered and pulled away completely as I heard her footsteps on the stairs.

She poked her head around the doorframe and smiled. "Dinner in 15. You'll stay Edward?"

"Thank you but I really can't. I'm expected at home."

"Oh." Her face fell. She'd planned something special. "Another time then?"

I didn't agree nor disagree, just gave a grin that appeased her. "I should be going."

I followed Renee, and Bella followed me down the stairs. We stopped at the entry while Renee continued on to the kitchen.

"Keep practicing," I reminded Bella. "But don't over-play it."

She nodded and bit down on her lip. She was thinking of how they felt against mine and how I tasted. Funny, I was thinking the same and wondering how her tongue would feel. Would it taste different as well? Would I bite it if given the opportunity?

"I really have to go," I blurted. "Bella...you can call me. If you want." I could barely stand the thought of having to avoid her all weekend. It might be easier if I could talk to her at least. That was safe... I wouldn't desire so much if I couldn't smell her. I leaned in close to get another deep breath of her. "Call," I whispered in her ear and brushed my lips against her burning cheek. Why was she so hot suddenly? Her breathing quickened as well. She gave my hand a squeeze and smiled shyly. I felt like I floated to my car.

Today, I kissed a girl. A human. A warm, sensitive human girl unlike any I'd known in all my years. It hadn't been out of animal lust nor had it been coerced. And she hadn't cringed, shreiked and tried to flee like the others. No. This human girl was not prey. But I desired her more than I could any prey. A human desire, I prayed.

'Cause baby ooh, if heaven calls
I'm coming too
Just like you said
If you leave my life
I'm better off dead...

(The Verve)

A/N ~ Ahhh...only 15 chapters to finally kiss! ;)
Thank you so much for following along patiently and, as always, for any comments. You're all awesome! XX ~ SR