WARNING: THIS STORY IS NO LONGER BEING EDITED FOR CONTENT. FULL DESCRPTION WILL BE INCLUDED. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED…

Disclaimer: As if you even read these, but it's obvious by now I don't own any of the recognizable characters.

Okay so the first half is all fluffy girly stuff that you fellas who read this will be thoroughly bored with, but the girls will probably enjoy, then the last half is more medical drama. A patient we haven't seen in a while makes a reappearance and Bella ends up facing her fears once again. Thanks to Sassenach Wench for her ever present validation beta work and AgoodWITCH for filling in as guest beta and for all of you out there who have added faves and reviews! You guys rock!

Enjoying the Dreams and Facing the Nightmares

BPOV

New Year's Day I was woken up by the incessant ringing of the doorbell accompanied by my cell phone becoming possessed as it vibrated across the top of the dresser on the far side of the room. It buzzed nonstop while singing the ringtone I had chosen for Alice without reprieve. Edward and I both moaned, burying our heads under our pillows trying to block out the pestering pixie.

Finally, the ringing and vibrating stopped as did the doorbell's chimes. We both sighed in relief and began to drift back off when my phone began to bounce along the dresser top again noisily, now emitting a calmer ring tone. I froze for a minute trying to wrap my head around the reason for the change when the realization hit that it was the song I had set to Esme's cell phone number.

I jumped out of bed and flew to the dresser, snatching my phone off, and pressing the green answer button before croaking a hello into the mouthpiece.

I was greeted to the cheerful chuckle of my future mother-in-law with a ranting Alice in the background. After a few seconds, I heard Esme calming Alice before addressing me.

"Good morning, Bella dear. Alice and I have come by to steal you for the day, hoping to coerce you into some early dress shopping. Would it be possible to pull you away from my son for the day?"

I sighed and couldn't help but smile. "You know I'd do anything for you, Esme. Just give me a second to let you two in and then I'll hop in the shower while you ladies visit in the living room."

"Sounds wonderful, darling, we're at your door waiting as we speak."

I hung up the phone and ran to the bathroom door to yank my robe off the hook, sliding it over my body, feeling the backlash of my indulgence in too much high quality alcohol the night before. I dashed back to the door of our bedroom, pausing for a minute to regain my equilibrium when the room began to spin a bit.

"Who was that?" Edward's muffled voice groaned from under his pillow.

"Your Mom and Alice have come to steal me for the day. They're at the door now."

I heard him chuckle. "Better you than me. Good luck, love," he said before turning over on his stomach and tucking his pillow below his head with a smile. A second later, his gentle snoring resumed. Stinking lucky fiancé…boys have it so easy!

I heard the doorbell ring again with agitation, knowing Alice had once again lost her patience. I rushed down the hallway and through the vestibule to open the door to a sweetly smiling Esme and a seething Alice.

"I see how it is. Me, you ignore my dozens of phone calls and the doorbell, but for her, you answer on the fourth ring. Some friend you are!"

I groaned, rubbing my hands roughly over my face. "Mary Alice, you were there last night. You know exactly how much alcohol I consumed thanks to Mama D giving Edward and I free top shelf liquor all night. What on earth made you think I would be anxiously awaiting your call this morning? I'm suffering from the hangover from…" I paused looking over at Esme, blushing before stammering a bit, "uh, hades. Meanwhile, Esme is my future mother-in-law, and she doesn't have a habit of harassing me for shopping trips at all hours of the day and night. So of course I would answer her phone call right away."

Alice scoffed and walked into the kitchen, helping herself to the fridge. Esme wrapped her arm around me, walking with me into the living room. I looked over to see her watching me with concern.

"We were hoping to get in some early wedding dress shopping just to see what's out there for a little girl fun today, but if you're not feeling up to it…"

I shook my head with a smile at my thoughtful future mother-in-law. "I'll be fine, Esme. I just was caught off guard, and well, the Pix tends to get carried away. I've learned to not always come running when she calls. I'm surprised that there would be anywhere for us to look at dresses today though…isn't everything closed up on New Year's Day?"

Esme smiled at me knowingly with a waggle of her eyebrows. "I have a few connections, sweetheart. My best friend from college just so happens to be a designer. When I was speaking with her last week, bragging about your and Edward's engagement, she offered her services. She has a variety of samples for you to try on and get an idea for what you might have in mind. She said that if she has nothing that suits you, she would be happy to design something specifically for you as a wedding gift."

My eyes popped open wide. "Oh my gosh, that's so generous! But we don't even have a date set or anything really planned yet, just a general idea."

She winked at me as she settled onto the couch, crossing her legs, and stretching her arms across the back leisurely. "Bella dear, you and Edward mentioned at Christmas that you already had some ideas. You know what you will feel comfortable with. Maybe the right dress will help you settle the last of your ideas. Why don't you go get cleaned up and we can discuss it more on our way to Antonia's shop?"

I nodded and turned to make my way to the bedroom, only making it three steps before I froze and turned back toward her. "Antonia? As in Antonia LaRouche, famous designer to the stars and good friend of Donatella Versace, Antonia LaRouche?"

Esme raised her eyebrows at me in surprise. I shrugged, "What, I may not be all about the fashion world, but I don't live under a rock!"

Esme laughed heartily, "Yes, the same Antonia LaRouche, but when I knew her, she was a girl from a suburb of Gary Indiana who went by Toni Ryan. LaRouche is her fancy industry name, but to me, she'll always be my friend Toni."

I nodded and smiled. She motioned for me to hurry, so I jogged off to our bedroom to quickly shower and change. I took a few extra minutes to do a little makeup and try to tame my hair a bit before kissing my sleeping fiancé's forehead and shuffling down the hallway to rejoin the girls.

Five minutes later, we were piled into a waiting town car, making our way toward the magnificent mile for some high end designer shopping. When the car stopped, I looked out the window to see one of the fanciest storefronts on Michigan Avenue staring back at me. The driver came and opened the door. I followed Esme and Alice out of the back seat and into the building.

As we entered the building, even the air smelled expensive as it filled the senses with the aroma of fancy fresh cut flowers and expensive perfumes. Instantly, a tall thin lady wearing dangerously high heels and a form fitting sheath dress waltzed into the room from the back with a wide smile and open arms.

"Esme, darling, it's so great to see you again my dear! Now which of these lovely ladies is going to be your new daughter?"

She eyed Alice and I curiously, apparently hoping for the one who wasn't a fashion disaster to be her charge for the day. Esme walked up to me, wrapping her arm around my shoulder and beaming at me as though she were bursting with pride.

"This, my old friend, is Dr. Isabella Swan, the woman who thoroughly reformed my son's lecherous ways. She has always been like the daughter I never had, and now she finally will be!"

Antonia's eyes grew soft as she watched us together. Instantly her haughty demeanor disappeared as she stepped out of her heels and tossed them aside. She grabbed our hands, leading us toward the back with a smile as she rolled her eyes.

"Okay Es, enough posturing and putting on the Ritz for these poor girls. Time to go pull out the Mike's hard lemonade and get to modeling and figuring out what the girl who was actually good enough to tame Edward Masen really wants for her big day."

I glanced back at Alice who looked at me in surprise as she followed us, looking a wee bit disappointed that one of her idols really was a bit of a regular girl like the rest of us. I couldn't help but chuckle as she had daydreams of sipping Cristal and listening with rapt attention as Antonia regaled her and Esme with stories of wintering on Lake Como at the Versace complex and working the fashion scene in Milan. I was pretty sure that if she hadn't been drawn to medicine, Alice would have taken the fashion world by storm.

Toni, as she quickly told me to call her, led us to a comfortable changing room in the back full of mirrors and lined on three walls with racks. She told us to get comfortable and grab a Mike's while she changed into something more comfortable. She disappeared behind the screen, emerging a few minutes later wearing a pair of comfortable looking blue jeans and a blue cowl necked sweater that still looked nice, but definitely not glam. She settled on the couch next to Esme, wrapping her legs up in front of her lotus style. She snatched a bottle off the table, wiggling back into the cushions of the couch and taking a long drink before looking back at me as I sat watching the scene with an excited smile.

"Okay kiddo, now tell us what you've been thinking for your nuptials. We'll go from there."

I sighed and took a deep breath. "Well, nothing big. I really want to keep it just friends and family only. Actually," I looked at Esme for a confirmation of if my idea would be feasible, "I was really hoping that we could get married at the beach house later this summer. The beach house is so special to the both of us and I think it would be perfect. Maybe we could have it on the beach at sunset with an arch of flowers over us and Edward could wear something comfortable like white linen pants and a white button down with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his hair all messy the way he always wears it. We could both be barefoot and take a walk along the surf after we're done. Then when we get back from our alone time we could have a reception on the deck with barbecue and potato salad."

I had gotten so lost in my daydreams about the casual wedding of my dreams, I realized I wasn't even seeing the room in front of me. When my eyes focused on the present again, I was met with three very different expressions. Alice looked to be in shock, completely disgusted with my concept. Toni looked amused as she nodded along approvingly. Meanwhile, Esme beamed at me with tears in her eyes.

"Oh, Bella," she finally sighed, "that sounds absolutely beautiful! It sounds to me like you already have it all planned out, we just have to organize the details. It just sounds so much like you and Edward. We'll start looking into caterers and perhaps we should get some sort of wedding planner involved so you don't have to stress about the details. With the rest of your medical training and helping Edward get back up to where he should be, you won't have the time to dedicate to planning a wedding in such a short amount of time. I can work with the planner on all the little details and then you can just approve or adjust what we come up as you see fit…that is if you want?"

I jumped up and ran over to wrap my arms around my future mother's shoulders. "Oh, thank you so much, Esme. That sounds perfect! I love you!"

She chuckled holding me close. As I pulled away, she wiped at her eyes carefully to avoid smearing her mascara.

I looked over at a shell shocked Alice and smiled, wrapping my arm around her shoulder, squeezing her a little. "Calm down Pix…you get to have the big lavish wedding of your own some day, but this really is my ideal wedding. I'm not looking for a big Princess Diana or Cinderella thing. I just want Edward and I, committing ourselves to one another, and our friends and family there to see it. Okay?"

She sighed and slumped, smiling at me sadly. "I understand…just know that when it's my turn you're going to be dressed in a big froufrou Bridesmaids dress walking down a fifty foot long aisle in the biggest church in Chicago and I better not hear one word of complaint!"

I laughed and hugged her again before turning back to Toni. "Okay, so I want it to look like a wedding, but I don't want big fluffy skirts, or sleeves, or for me to blind everyone with the reflection of the gazillion sparkles sewed to my chest. I want simple, comfortable, and beach appropriate."

Toni nodded.

Esme raised her finger in question. "I just want clarification, Bella. We don't want plain though right? I mean it IS a wedding. My only son's wedding, and my one chance at this mother of the groom thing." She begged me with her eyes.

I smiled. "Yes, Esme, I want to be a bride. No plain cotton sundresses, I want to have a hint of romance, but not the overly fluffy debutante look either."

She smiled and relaxed back into her seat as Toni sorted through the rack next to her, pulling an arm full of dresses that she placed next to the screen for me to try.

We spent the next two hours trying on dresses, but nothing seemed right. She had some beautiful mermaid type dresses, but we all agreed that Bella plus long tight skirts that restrict movement was a recipe for an embarrassing fall while walking down the aisle. There was an argument about trains, but when I reminded everyone that anything dragging the ground would bring a pile of sand along with me as I walked the beach, they all agreed that we needed something no longer than ankle length. We tried a few shorter dresses that were nice, but not right.

After a while, Toni suggested that Alice and Esme take a bathroom break. While they were gone, she sat me down.

"Tell me what you liked best about the dresses we've tried today," she smiled at me with a notepad in hand. "Give me a couple of weeks and I'll see if I can use your favorite parts to design a dress that really has everything you liked best."

I sat with her, detailing my favorite lengths and styles. She smiled as she scribbled, pausing occasionally to gaze off into space as though she were mentally designing the dress as we spoke.

When I was done, she nodded and stood up, offering me her hand. "I think I can design something to make you happy, Bella. I'll call you when I have something to show you. If you're happy, I'll get started working on it as soon as I can. It shouldn't be any problem to get it done by the end of the summer."

I hugged her tightly around the shoulders. "Thank you so much, Toni. This means the world to me. Thank you for helping me have my dream wedding."

She winked, "Just as long as I get an invitation and first choice of a piece of barbecue chicken, we're good."

I smiled and nodded before sliding back behind the screen to change back into my clothes.

Toni joined us for lunch out and then the ladies returned me to the apartment where I found my lazy fiancé still buried in our bed with the down comforter wrapped around him like an Edward burrito. I couldn't help but laugh as I jumped on the bed next to him, making him groan and wipe at his eyes blearily.

"How did it go? Did they shop you to death?"

"Sort of…I have a world famous designer creating my dream dress. I told your mother the ideas I have for the wedding and she was all excited about it and said we could do it at the beach house and she's hiring a wedding planner to help her work out the details and I get to have veto power. It's all working out so perfectly, all we have to do is set a date!"

He sat up slowly rubbing his hands over his face in a daze. "Hold on…what? You already have our wedding all planned out and you haven't even really talked to me about it besides the beach house part. How about you tell me what you had in mind first?"

I giggled and apologized before I started outlining my daydreams for our perfect beach wedding. I watched his eyes glaze over as he pictured it, a big goofy smile spreading across his scruffy face, covered in reddish-blonde stubble. When I finished, he reached out and grabbed my waist, pulling me to straddle his thighs as he leaned in for a long sweet kiss.

"That sounds so perfect, Bella! I love it. Let's do it! Your break before your Residency starts is the whole month of August, right?"

I nodded and his smile widened. "Let's do it in the middle of August and then we would have the first week or so to prepare and then the rest of the month to honeymoon and get back in time for you to recover before starting your Residency. What do you think?"

My eyes started to mist and I nibbled my bottom lip. "I can't believe we are really doing this…this is so amazing. I love you so much." I leaned forward and kissed his lips. "That sounds perfect."

He wrapped his arms around me tighter and shifted his hips below me letting me feel his excitement at the whole idea as I moaned. We were just getting our groove on when my phone rang in my pocket. I recognized it as Esme's number.

I jumped off his lap and pressed the button. He groaned and mumbled, "And so it begins." I giggled, bumping his leg with mine as I listened to Esme on the other end of the line.

An hour later, I was off the phone after telling her about the date we discussed and a hundred other things, moaning to myself when I realized that Edward wasn't wrong…this was just the beginning.

O~o~O~o~O

I returned to work the next morning to find that much had changed over my two days off of work. Katie had been downgraded from the ID wing having received clean sputum cultures for two days in a row. I was going to miss her, but since Carmen said that my duties were going to be expanding beyond the ID wing, I had hopes that I would work with her again a few times before she was released to go back home.

I also had good news in regard to Charlotte. On New Year's Eve they began a new treatment that her body seemed to react to more positively than any tried to that point. Very quickly, her temperature began to drop and she started to show marked signs of improvement. Last night, the decision was made to begin weaning her off the ventilator and by morning she was already showing definite signs of taking the change well. With any luck, they would be removing her ventilator and reviving her by the end of the day on Tuesday.

The call that made me finally face my fears came in at three forty five in the afternoon that day. I was working on the ID wing when I got a page to call down to the ER. I was confused, but rushed to the nurse's station to call down and find out what was going on. My call was met with a frantic nurse who began explaining that Ethan Lancaster had been brought in via an ambulance to the ER after having suffered a major trauma. He was in a great deal of pain and was being highly combative, but the doctors were reluctant to sedate him because there was a possibility of a concussion. They didn't want him to lose consciousness until he was more thoroughly evaluated, but he wouldn't let them near him and kept begging for me.

My heart started pounding at the thought of walking into that room again. I swallowed hard and could hear my breath wheezing slightly as I tried to will my vocal cords to work. Then I heard the scream in the background and before I realized I was reacting, I told the nurse I was on my way and was running for the elevator banks.

I tapped my foot impatiently on the floor of the elevator as it moved slowly to the bottom floor. Three minutes of frustration later, the doors opened and I burst through them, shoving past the waiting people outside the door, and running down the concourse toward the Emergency department.

I felt my hands vibrating at my sides as the waiting room came into view. My labored breath grew more difficult as the room grew larger and larger the closer I was to my destination. A few moments later, I broke through the double doors and was standing in the waiting room with the ugly orange plastic chairs and plain cream walls.

I took in the scene with panicked wide eyes as I stood, momentarily paralyzed. I could feel the panic welling inside my chest. The walls felt as though they were closing in on me, making me want to run back to where I had come from. I leaned down, resting my palms on my knees as I struggled to gain control.

I glanced back up, finding myself eye to eye with a terrified Mrs. Lancaster who watched me with pleading eyes. Her son needed me, and I was falling into a selfish panic attack. We maintained our eye contact as slowly my breathing leveled and the panic began to fade. I heard the piercing scream come from the exam room down the hallway and suddenly I remembered why I was there.

I turned and sprinted down the hallway, shoving past the nurses in the corridor until I reached the room from which I could hear Ethan's wails. I quickly squirted some antibacterial gel from the canister on the wall outside of the door before pushing it open. I grabbed gloves off the wall, throwing them on, before rushing to his bedside.

"Ethan, I'm here, sweetheart. It's doctor Swan. You have to calm down and let the doctors look at you."

He looked up at me with red swollen eyes full of panic and pain. My heart clenched harder. I ran my hands through his hair and started talking to him, telling him all about my new job working with kids up on the pediatrics floor. I told him all about the decorations on the walls and how many kids I worked with every day, leaving out any details that would break any laws. Slowly he began to relax and not fight the workers who set about trying to assess his state of being. He locked eyes with me as tears streamed down his face. I kept pushing his hair out of his eyes as I reached into my pocket, removing my pen light, and checking his pupils which were thankfully equal and reactive.

I examined his head, the slight contusion causing copious amounts of blood to stain his shirt and mat his hair. I attempted to clean some of it up and treat the wound while I told him all about the news of me getting engaged and that I was going to be an Aunt in the late spring. After a while, the doctors were able to administer pain medication, which allowed him to relax completely and finally rest. He drifted off to sleep as the doctors worked on casting his legs after they had reset them painfully earlier as I fought to keep Ethan calm.

After he was finally out, I discovered the full range of his injuries. He had been playing with a cousin who goaded him into climbing a ladder onto the roof of the garage. It was something his cousin did often. Trying to climb down, he fell about six feet, resulting in breaking several bones in his legs, his left radius in his arm, and a gash in his head when he hit the ladder on the way down.

The doctors asked me to update his mother since I had a history with the patient. I cleaned up in the sink and spent several minutes trying to slow my heart again before returning to the waiting room. The panic crept up my sternum, but I was able to control it as I explained everything to a very relieved Mrs. Lancaster. She hugged me, thanking me when we were done. I quickly escaped the room, but thankfully without falling into another full blown panic attack.

I walked directly to Dr. Kellison's office. Thankfully, she was in between patients and let me in right away. She beamed at me as I told her about what had happened. Even though I felt weak and exhausted from the experience, she said I had done so well that she couldn't have been prouder if she tried. She called up to Carmen's office, informing her of the events of the afternoon and suggesting I be relieved for the rest of the day. Carmen agreed whole heartedly.

I walked into the apartment to find a surprised Edward in the kitchen working at assembling something for supper later tonight. His eyes glowed down at me as I detailed the experiences of my day.

When I was done, his lips crashed down on mine. His intensity was startling. He began to lead me down the hallway to our bedroom as he mumbled into my neck how proud he was of me. He turned me after entering our bedroom, entering the bathroom and stripping my clothes as we walked.

A few moments later, we were both naked in the luxurious shower as he reverently washed my body and rinsed me before washing my hair gently under the spray. Once I was thoroughly cleaned, he guided me toward the back wall, leaning in to kiss me with his hands pressed against the shower on either side of my head.

"So, we're going to become Mr. and Dr. Cullen on a beach at sunset with the smell of barbecue cooking in the air all around us?"

I giggled and ran my hands across his chest dotted with beads of water. In the time since the accident, he had lost some of his definition with his inability to work out, but he was still the sexiest thing I had ever seen. I could feel his arousal standing at attention between us as I let my hands drift down in its direction.

"It's all the things that remind me of summers at the lake house, sitting at the beach, barbecuing on the grill at sunset, playing in the tiny surf that Lake Michigan manages to create most days, and wiping away any of the bad memories. We're claiming our future and setting the tone for the rest of our trips there."

I grasped him in my hand pumping lightly as I leaned up and gazed intensely into his eyes, "Plus, I thought it was appropriate to bind our lives in the same location that we first bound our bodies."

He groaned, his emerald irises darkening noticeably. He leaned forward, claiming my mouth eagerly. His hands drifted down my slick arms and sides to grasp roughly at my hips as he turned me and settled me on the seat in the corner. Kneeling in front of me, his mouth began to drift down my neck to bury between my breasts. His tongue flicked out to lick the water from my skin, drifting over to my nipple where he nibbled it gently while tweaking the other with his fingers and then trading sides.

After a bit of torture, he pulled back and kissed me hard before pulling away and plunging his head between my thighs. I was already so turned on with all the wedding talk that I was moments away from exploding on his tongue. He moaned and licked at me voraciously before jumping up to claim my lips again as he pushed himself deeply inside me in one smooth move.

We moaned and groaned loudly as he pounded into me on his knees in the shower before grabbing my waist and spinning me to kneel in front of the seat and entering me again from behind. We didn't last long after the change in position as we came together, hard and extremely loudly.

After taking a few minutes to recover, we washed off again, drying one another before stumbling into bed. We passed out completely naked in each other's arms, Edward's dinner preparations long forgotten.

Okay, I promise to write a more interesting shower lemon once Edward is fully recovered. Truth of the matter is, my imagination is too 'vibrant' for his current physical limitations after the whole shoot out mess and I've already taken far too many liberties with his recovery. We'll just say he's a fast healer because Jen is an uber-romantic who can't seem to keep their relationship realistic with what he's just suffered physically. I'll do my best to squeeze in a more interesting one later (wink). Okay, now it's time for reviews. I love to hear from you guys!