Femme Docs and Kevlar Knights

by A Cullen Wannabe

Bella is a first yr medical intern who was raised by her brother Emmett and his friends after their parents died when she was 16. When a night in the ER turns dangerous can her boys, now members of the best SWAT team in Chicago save her? Lang/Lem/complete

47. The World Spins Madly On

WARNING: THIS STORY IS NO LONGER BEING EDITED FOR CONTENT. FULL DESCRPTION WILL BE INCLUDED. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED…

Disclaimer: I own none of the recognizable characters or the rights to the song mentioned in this chapter.

TISSUE WARNING…this chapter made me cry, made my guest beta cry, and will probably make you cry too if you get emotional over these characters…just a heads up. Thank you to my guest beta AgoodWITCH for pinch hitting this chapter for me. Hope you enjoy and please review

Also, thanks as always to the lovely Sassenach Wench for validating the heck out of these chappies! She's awesome. I've said it before and I'll say it again...go check out her stories!

Song link for the Weepies World Spins Madly On

.com/watch?v=0lGWm59Xu6M

TheWorld Spins Madly On

RosaliePOV

January flew by quickly. None of us really got to see much of Edward or Bella. Bella was always busy with work, but on top of that, now she was seeing Dr. Kellison four times a week, trying to get ready for talking about everything that happened in court. She was doing so much better, but she still was struggling. She was very worried that being up on the stand was going to overwhelm her and she was going to hurt the hospital somehow.

Edward got a little emo for a while and then one day he just seemed to sort of snap out of it. It was less than a week later that we found out why. Edward it seems had found a way to turn lemons into lemonade and had already done all the legwork and research, and was planning on using some of his trust fund to open a SWAT and specialized unit training facility in the Chicago area.

Edward was so excited he was like a kid in a candy store. I think Bella was even more excited than Edward was and more than a little relieved to have one less person that she loved to worry about being injured or killed on the job.

I couldn't help but be a little bit jealous of that fact. Emmett's job always scared me, but now that we were having a baby together, that I might end up raising on my own some day thanks to the dangers of his job, I was terrified on a daily basis. Every day when he left for work, I would find myself wondering if he would be coming home that night.

I tried to convince myself it was just pregnancy hormones and that I would feel less anxious about it once the baby was born, but I knew in my heart that wasn't true. In fact, I was pretty sure it was only going to be worse.

As February began, I started getting excited for my twenty week check up. I had it up on the calendar for several weeks with a big huge red heart over the square to help remind Emmett that on February 5th, we would be finding out if we were having a boy or a girl. The guys kept insisting I was going to have a boy, but I kept having recurring dreams that I was having a girl. I couldn't help but hope that my dreams were right.

All my life I've wanted a baby, but I've always daydreamed of a little girl with curly blonde hair. Then, once I met Emmett, she started having sparkling blue eyes and adorable dimples in her cheeks to match his. I would love the baby no matter what because all my life, since I wasn't much more than a baby myself, I knew I wanted to be a mother more than anything.

The morning of the sonogram, Emmett was a ball of nervous energy. He was so excited that I had to literally force him to sit down before he wore a hole in the carpet from his pacing. Finally, after the tenth time making him sit down, I texted Bella. I asked if she had a minute to call and try to soothe the bear a little bit so I wasn't trying to wrangle a two hundred and eighty pound toddler in the waiting area.

She called a few minutes later and talked him down a bit so that he was at least half way tolerable. When the mission was accomplished, she asked to talk to me, demanding to be notified the second our appointment was over. I swore on my own heart and laughed when she said she had been teasing Emmett that he was going to have a girl because it was his punishment for his years of playing the field and now he was going to have to pay the price by worrying over his own daughter's virtue. I knew he had a taste of that with Bella, but he would be so much more insane over his own little princess.

We walked the four blocks to the hospital where I was going to get a quick appointment in with my doctor. Normally, I would have to go half way across town to get to his offices, but one of the perks of working on the Labor and Delivery floor and being a favored nurse of most of the medical staff was that they would bend a few rules to help me out.

Emmett eagerly followed me to the L&D floor, fidgeting in his chair as we waited for the doctor to come into the triage room where he would see me for the exam and then use a portable sono machine to do the ultrasound. He got a kick out of Emmett with his over eager attention to every detail. Thankfully, he was very patient when Emmett asked dozens of questions throughout the appointment and as he began the sonogram. Normally a tech would do it, but since he was a friend, and was trying to keep me here as short of a time as possible, he just did it himself.

Emmett and I both watched the screen in awe as the fuzzy black and white image of our baby's profile came on the screen; it moved its arms and wiggled its fingers - like it was waving hi to us. I expected Emmett to get boisterous and make jokes, but instead he stared in quiet reverential awe as the doctor measured the baby's head and torso and found the heart, letting the sound of its steady rhythm fill the room making my eyes tear up in joy.

I had seen it a million times, but to know that the miracle moving on the screen was inside of me...that was just too much to hold in. Tears of joy and awe slid down my face. The doctor finished all the important parts before skimming down and around to get a view between the baby's legs. He shifted the transducer one more time. and then there it was, as clear as day.

"Well Rose and Emmett, congratulations, it's a girl!"

I smiled brightly up at Emmett while the tears continued to stream down my face. My smile turned into a laugh when Emmett continued to stare at the screen, looking like he'd just been hit in the head with a Louisville Slugger.

"Are you sure, doc? I mean, sometimes you can be wrong, right?"

The doctor shook his head. "Yes, Emmett, sometimes the technicians are wrong when they've got a side view or are trying to see when the baby is on their stomachs, but as you can see, the baby has given us a wide open view between her legs and this little section here that looks like a hoof print...that would be your daughter's labial folds."

Emmett looked pale as he stared at the tiny spot the doctor was pointing at on the screen and then melted into the chair. "Holy shit, Bella was right. I'm going to be gray by the time I'm forty!"

I reached over and rubbed his hand with mine, trying to console him. I thanked the doctor, who handed me several pictures he had taken of the screen of the baby's profile and proof that she was, in fact, a girl. I stared at them for a while in awe before finally getting off the bed, changing into my clothes while a shell shocked Emmett stared down at the incriminating picture that meant that he was destined for a life of salt and pepper hair.

Once I was dressed, we left the hospital, me guiding Emmett toward home. On our walk, he stared down at the pictures when suddenly he flipped to the one of the profile again and froze, a smile creeping across his face.

"She has Bella's nose," he whispered, staring down at her profile. I looked again to see he was right, her profile did favor Bella's. "And look at her fingers. They're so perfect." He looked up at me with tears in his eyes. "Wow Rose, we're having a little girl. I can't believe it!"

I smiled and reached up to wrap my arms around his neck, hugging him as closely as I could with my now protruding stomach beginning to get in the way. I knew he'd snap out of it before too long and be happy; it just would take a while for him to come to terms with some of his fears first.

That night we invited everyone over for a celebratory dinner where Emmett passed out pink bubble gum cigars and began strategizing with the rest of the guys for the best ways to keep boys as far away as possible once she hit puberty.

Everyone stared at the pictures for a long time. Alice and Jasper kept cocking their heads swearing that they couldn't make any of it out and asking if it was like one of those 3D images where you have to relax your eyes and wait for the image to pop out at you. Andy and Andrea looked at it a while and then passed it on with little interest, but the most interesting were Edward and Bella.

They both stared at the picture for a long time. Edward whispered something to Bella. She picked up the profile picture and shrugged, but I thought I saw her wipe a tear away a bit later. She kept glancing from the picture to my stomach and back again, like she was trying to link the reality of the picture to the fact that the image was growing inside of me and would soon be her niece.

Edward, however, had a look of almost sadness and longing as he stared at the profile, smiling softly. I recognized that look. I had carried it for many years, and I knew with what Bella was facing with her upcoming residency, that it would be at least four or five more years before she would be in any place to start having babies with him. My heart ached for him, but at the same time, it would definitely be better for them to wait until they were both in a place to be ready. It was one of the hazards of dating someone younger. In four years, she would be where he was now, and in a better place for children. Until then, he would just have to enjoy his niece and let that be enough.

It's kind of funny when you think about it. I always knew Edward would be an uncle figure in my child's life if I ever had one with Emmett, but the first time I met him, I never dreamed he would actually end up legally becoming the child's uncle. I had known them several months before I started seeing the undeniable bond between Edward and Bella. Edward was stubborn though, completely refusing to acknowledge it, but it was always there. I was so glad when they finally figured it out, and then, once they did, everything moved at warp speed. While it would have been too fast for most couples, it was perfect for the two of them because they already had a bond that most couples work ages to create. They were definitely one of those that were meant to be from the beginning.

The joy surrounding the discovery that we were having a baby girl was short lived though. The anniversary of Charlie and Renee's death drew steadily closer. Emmett and I had just started dating a few months before the anniversary date last year. I remembered being so confused as to why the normally happy and cheerful Emmett got so sad and withdrawn the closer we got to Valentine's Day.

At first, I had thought that he was questioning his relationship with me and that maybe he wasn't in the same place I was. He did all the right things for our first Valentine's Day: chocolates, a soft cuddly teddy bear, dinner, dancing, flowers, the whole shebang. It was nice, but somehow, he just wasn't all the way there with me, fully enjoying the time. He did his best, but he still wasn't Emmett.

The next day, I sat him down, telling him that if he didn't want me then he needed to tell me sooner rather than later. That was when he broke down for the first time in front of me and cried, telling me about his parents death and how hard it was dealing with becoming a full blown adult with the responsibility for a sixteen year old and working to support them while finishing college.

He had the option of letting social services place her. They even said that they could place her with friends of the family in town, but he just didn't feel right about it. He felt like she needed him. He wanted to be there for her, and honestly, he needed her too. They were the only family left and they had to stick together. He told me all about the weekend that they died, how Bella blamed herself, and how hard the day was for them every year. They had even made a tradition, they would both take the anniversary day off every year and Edward would drive down with them to visit their parents' grave and pay their respects. Others had gone with them a time or two, but most years it was just the three of them.

I offered to go along last year, but Emmett said that it was probably best if I didn't. Bella and I were still not very comfortable around each other and he didn't want her to not be able to do what she needed to do for their parents on that day. I was a bit resentful. At that point in time, I still didn't truly understand the bond between Emmett and Bella. I was jealous of how close they were and how much time he spent with her throughout the week. It didn't take long before that changed, but that first year I waved as they pulled away from the curb after kissing Emmett goodbye, feeling a bit bitter that the brat had kept me from being there with Emmett like he needed.

Of course now with the knowledge and understanding I have of Emmett and Bella, I realize it was immature of me to react that way. This year everything had changed. We had all arranged to have the day off, which led right up to a weekend. We were taking advantage of the timing by making a long weekend of it so Emmett and Bella could take us around the area and show us where they grew up and things they used to do for fun. They warned us it would be pretty boring, but honestly, I was excited to get the chance to get to know the Emmett from downstate.

The tradition had always been up to this point that Edward would go along with Emmett and Bella. They would drive down for a day trip in Edward's car and then come back that evening, but since we had so many, we arranged to rent a minivan instead. So the morning of February 19th, Bella, Edward, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and I, along with overnight bags, snacks, and drinks, loaded up in our rented Dodge Grand Caravan and made our way down I55 toward Lincoln.

Those of us along for the ride for the first time watched in morbid fascination as Emmett, Bella, and Edward automatically slipped into all of the things they always did on these trips. It was like a strange ballet. First of all, Bella always drove down. It started off as a way for her to practice driving every year. On the way down, she was usually okay to drive, but typically Edward drove on the return trip.

The car was eerily quiet as we drove through the city. Once we were beyond the heavy traffic, Emmett reached up and plugged in an iPod, starting a playlist that I saw was labeled Swan Song. Most of the songs were from the late 90's and early 2000's. I assumed they were songs that reminded them both of the times they spent with their parents before their death in 2002. When we reached Joliet, Edward pulled out three bags of peanut M&M's that they each took and then tossed a bag to us so the rest of us could join in the tradition before Dr. Peppers were passed around to all as well.

No words were spoken between the three as we drove down the interstate, but every once in a while, I would notice Bella's posture would straighten. Her knuckles would grow white on the steering wheel before she would reach out toward Emmett who would reach over without even looking her way and take her hand. They would hold tightly until finally Bella would relax and they would let go and go back to eating their snacks and drinking their drinks.

When we passed the exit for Pontiac, Edward passed out salt and vinegar potato chips with another round of drinks. Bella looked at Emmett and smiled. Edward reached forward and rubbed Bella's shoulders gently before settling back in his seat. I glanced over my shoulder at Alice and Jasper in the back seat. They looked at me and shrugged slightly before leaning against one another again and opening their chips to eat in silence.

The further south we got, the more intense the music became. During a few songs, I noticed it was Emmett who reached over as Bella reached out, giving her support. It was one of the many times I had seen a physical example of the give and take of their relationship. It was something that had taken me nearly six months to finally understand, when I began to see Bella as something other than a drain on the man I loved.

Emmett and I had another date that ended earlier than I wanted. I begged him to come back to my place and stay the whole night, but he refused. He said he wanted to stay, but he really needed to get back to Bella. He hadn't spent any time with her that week and wanted to touch base with her. I got mad and went off on him before watching him finally get sick of me and walk into his building with his fists balled tightly.

I turned and started to storm away back to my car, but then I thought better of it. I turned back to go into his building. I was sick of this shit, deciding it was time I called the brat out on her selfish behavior. I was on a mission as I stormed my way toward their apartment. I stopped outside of the door collecting myself before I raised my hand to knock.

I reached my hand forward, but when my hand met the door, it opened a sliver on its own. Suddenly I could hear the sounds of voices coming from inside the apartment.

"Emmett, you know I love you, but you need to stop this. I know you care about Rosalie and you should go be with her. I'm fine."

I watched through the sliver as she reached out, forcing him to look up at her. He looked so damn guilty.

"Bells, I promised to look out for you. I don't like abandoning you all of the time."

She shook her head. "Emmett, you aren't abandoning me. You have given up way too much for me. It's time for you to go live your life. Besides, the revolving door on this place between Edward, Jazz, Andy, and the rest of the guys doesn't even give me much privacy; much less give me a chance to feel abandoned. I want you to go; don't be afraid to love somebody. You deserve it, and honestly, I think this girl is good for you. Now you go apologize and take some pajamas with you. I'll see you in the morning."

Emmett reached over and hugged her. She smiled sweetly at him. "Love you, Bells."

"Love you too, Brother Bear," she said with a strong affection in her voice. I turned away, feeling like the massive bitch that I really was, and went home. Fifteen minutes later, a contrite Emmett was standing at my door. I pulled him in and apologized for how I had acted, realizing that I didn't need to be jealous of Bella. She loved him too and she wanted what was best for him. The amazing man that was standing in my room had so much love in his heart that he would give up just about anything for his baby sister, and that kind of unwavering devotion would never be a bad trait to have in a mate.

They held hands a long time. I glanced at Edward, asking without words if I could comfort Emmett too. He nodded. I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around Emmett's shoulders. He leaned his head against my arm and sighed. After a while, he finally relaxed, letting go of Bella's hand and bringing it up rub along my arm, before kissing it and thanking me.

When we reached a small town called McLean, we stopped at a truck stop. Emmett fueled up with gas while Bella got out and went inside. It was then that Edward turned around. He thanked us for cooperating so willingly and promised they would explain everything later, before telling us we would be eating lunch at the truck stop. Alice gasped in horror. Alice had a hard enough time eating at a chain restaurant, much less a greasy spoon truck stop.

"Alice, please don't make a scene or be difficult here. This is an important part of the whole ritual. They would drive up here as a family late at night and eat on rare occasions when everything in Lincoln was closed when Charlie was working odd shifts, so they could have family dinners together without Renee cooking at one in the morning. Bella always got fried mushrooms and French Vanilla Cappuccino, so don't get all disgusted when she orders it. They're going to be quiet at first, but then they'll loosen up and start telling stories. Lincoln is only about twenty minutes away. This is like the last step in getting themselves prepared before we get there. I'll be driving the rest of the way."

We all nodded and got out to follow the siblings inside. Once we broke through the silence, it was actually the most comfortable part of the trip to that point. The more they talked, the more Bella and Emmett came out of their shells. They laughed as they remembered pranks they pulled on their mother, or silly things their Dad did. They usually had no problem sharing stories that just involved the two of them, but a lot of the stories involving Charlie and Renee were new to all of us besides Edward. He just sat, beaming down at Bella with his arm behind her on the chair, a bright smile on his face. I got the distinct impression that this was his favorite part of the trip as well.

There was something I was pretty sure was a new part of the experience for them though. The first time Edward leaned down to kiss her, she stiffened, but then she relaxed into the kiss. Then, he brought her engagement ring to his lips to kiss when she told a particularly emotional story about how Renee and Charlie first met and how he had proposed.

After about an hour and a half of reminiscing and eating artery clogging foods, we got back on the road with Edward in the driver's seat. Jasper took the passenger seat while Alice and I sat in the back seat. Emmett and Bella sat in the middle row captains chairs, holding hands the whole time.

Once we were back on the interstate, the music started getting more intense. I watched as all three of them began to focus on the road, their heads bobbing to the music. I was instantly taken back to my high school days when I was a cheerleader and watched the football team get focused for a game. The whole team would sit silently in the lunchroom while the coaches went over their clip boards as driving beats of rock metal music would blare through the boom box on one of the tables. I had to suppress a laugh as I realized that all of these years, the boys were helping Bella prepare in the only way they knew how. They were preparing for battle with their emotions, focusing for the draining fight ahead, giving her the only tools that twenty year old boys in college had to cope with stressful situations that could be passed on to a young impressionable teenage girl.

Soon, we reached several exits for Lincoln, taking the one that seemed to have the most restaurants and motels around it. We pulled into a Best Western where Edward went to check us in. He had Jasper help him carry in our luggage. Alice and I stayed in the car with Emmett and Bella as they sat still as statues. I leaned forward, wrapping my arms around Emmett's shoulders again. He looked up and smiled at me gently before glancing back over at Bella sadly. She looked up at him and then over at me and smiled lightly at me with a nod, as though she was thanking me. I really wished I knew what to do, but I didn't. Alice leaned forward and placed her hand on Bella's shoulder to comfort her as well. The four of us sat in silence until the other two men returned to take us to our next destination...the cemetery.

BPOV

As we pulled through the small winding roads that snaked their way through the old cemetery, my memories flashed to the forefront of my mind like short movies playing in my head. I was so out of it the day we laid my parents to rest, that my memory is hazy and full of strange details that you would never expect to come into sharp relief during such traumatic circumstances.

I remembered the sickeningly sweet smell of the floral arrangements that permeated the funeral home. Emmett and I stood numbly by the caskets, shaking hands and accepting hugs from the streams of people coming in and out of the room. Some we knew, like my parents' friends and church members, and others we didn't recognize at all. It didn't matter the familiarity though, their attempts to soothe and comfort us were a lost cause. We were now alone. We had no other family to lean on or to even stand with us and greet the guests. The last of our family, besides our parents, had been our Grandma Marie who had Alzheimer's so badly that she didn't even know who we were at the end before she died three years earlier...all we had now was each other.

We stood for what seemed like hours, shaking hands and accepting hugs as I tried not to look over at their pale lifeless bodies, posed unnaturally in the dark caskets. It was just all so wrong. I kept hoping that it was all just a nightmare and any minute I would wake up.

Toward the end of the second hour, my strength began to wane. I knew I couldn't keep this up much longer. I only had half an hour left and then I could sit down for the service and wouldn't have to hold my bodyweight up any longer. Sensing my lack of strength and that I was losing my balance, Emmett reached over, grabbing my hand and encouraging me to lean on him as he continued to shake hands with his free arm. Thankfully, the guests were observant enough to see that I was no longer in any shape to greet anyone.

When the boys entered the room, I could feel the shift in Emmett's body immediately. His muscles relaxed slightly and his voice seemed a little lighter, full of a bit more life than it had that morning. I gazed at the attractive men who all clasped supportive hands on Emmett's shoulder, giving him words of encouragement that actually seemed to make him feel a bit more comforted.

I noticed their gazes flickering to me. Emmett jumped a bit, realizing that we had never met. Mom and Dad had gone up to visit several times, but I hadn't been able to go up yet or meet any of his college friends. He introduced me. They all looked at me and smiled so sweetly that I couldn't help but smile back. It wasn't bright and it wasn't cheerful, but I wanted to convey to them in some small way how much I appreciated them coming so far and helping my brother in a way that nobody else could.

Soon we were ushered to our seats by the funeral director and the service began. Emmett and I held hands as the pastor from Mom's church spoke. I didn't really hear much of what he said besides something about a home without pain or sorrow and being at peace. I hoped he was right.

Emmett's friends stayed by our sides as we were led to the casket to say goodbye one last time before the caskets would be closed and we would never see our parents' faces in the flesh again. I felt the desire to sob, melt by their sides, and not let the men take them away, but nothing came. I just felt hollow. I felt like I had died right along with them.

Everything else was a blur as we made our way to the cemetery for the graveside service. I focused on the snow under my feet as we fumbled our way from the cars to the plot where my parents would be laid to rest. We had about two inches of snow fall the night before the funeral, followed by sub zero overnight and early morning temperatures, leaving the snow stiff with a firm crust along the top of the white blanket covering the ground. With each step, the snow would resist your weight for a fraction of a second before it would give way under your foot with a loud crunch, allowing you to sink through the two inches of softer flakes below the crusty upper layer.

So instead of the two caskets hovering above the holes in the ground on the belt contraption that was soon to lower them into the darkness below, or the blue tent that fluttered in the breeze as it whipped past us, or the mountains of flowers piled behind the caskets and all around them, I focused on the crunch of the snow under my boot and the sting of the icy wind on my face. Anything was better than focusing on the fact that we were about to lower my parents' bodies into the ground forever.

We pulled to a stop on the side of the tiny road just a couple of dozen feet from where our mom and dad rested under a large gray granite headstone with our last name written in large letters, two mated swans nuzzling at the top. The scene was so like that first day and yet so different. There was a light dusting of snow on the ground and on the tops of the stones, just enough to create a pretty white blanket, but not so much as to make you sink when you walked upon it.

We all stepped out. Rosalie gripped onto Emmett's arm as I clutched at Edward's. We made our way toward the plot with Jasper and Alice walking silently behind us. When we were almost up to where they lay, I reached my hand out the same moment Emmett did. We grasped them between us and squeezed tightly. Just like every year, we were here to pay our respects together, as was our tradition. On the anniversary of their death, every single year, Emmett and I would come down accompanied by Edward and visit their grave...only this year so much had changed...our lives were completely different.

We all stood in silence for a moment before I let go of Edward and Emmett. I stepped forward to brush the snow off of the top and sides of their gravestone before laying the bouquet of white Casablanca lilies on the ledge along the bottom under their names, another tradition since they were our mother's favorite.

I knelt down in front of the stone, tracing their names with my gloved fingers, and sighing as a tune bubbled up from my chest that was echoing in my mind. I soon felt Emmett beside me as he draped his arm over my shoulder and kissed my temple.

"What are you humming, Bella? It's familiar, but I can't place it."

I sighed, "It's a song stuck in my head, just the chorus mainly. So much is changing, the world just keeps on spinning, and they're missing it all, Em. I'm a doctor about to enter my residency and am engaged to be married, you're married and about to become a Dad, our whole life is moving on and they're not getting to see any of it."

Emmett sighed next to me, kissing my temple again, and rubbing my arm gently. "Sing it for me, Bells."

I swallowed thickly as I began to sing the Weepies song World Spins Madly On.

Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
I thought of you and where you'd gone
and let the world spin madly on

My voice cracked on the last two lines and I instantly felt Edward drop down beside me, wrapping his arms around my waist, kissing my temple gently, and running his hand up and down my back. Emmett seemed to remember the song and began to sing along as I began the second verse.

Everything that I said I'd do
Like make the world brand new
And take the time for you
I just got lost and slept right through the dawn
And the world spins madly on

Our voices drifted off into the cold air as we ended the verse together with small sniffles coming from everyone in the group. My cheeks were stained with tears, but at the same time, I felt a bit of warmness in my heart. I wasn't alone, I would never be alone. I would never have my parents to hold me and tell me they loved me again, but that didn't mean that I wasn't surrounded by more love than I could ever deserve.

Edward stayed by my side on the ground as I remained kneeling there, one hand around Edward's waist, and the other holding tightly to Emmett's hand. Jasper and Alice quietly wandered back toward the car. After a while, Emmett sniffled one more time, kissed his hand, and laid it on the stone between our parents' names, mumbling that he loved and missed them. He gave my hand one more squeeze, kissing the top of my head, before walking back with Rosalie tucked into his side, leaving just Edward and I in front of the stone.

Edward offered to give me a little privacy, but I shook my head, gripping him tighter as I stayed there, taking long deep breaths of the cold air that stung my lungs a bit with each inhale. After a few deep breaths, I kissed my hand and reached it out to touch the stone where Emmett just had. I started to talk just as I did every year. They might not be able to hear, but I still made a point of telling them about my life every year when I came. Typically, the boys would walk away and give me privacy while I told my parents about school, friends, relationships, and more than once, my unrequited feelings for Edward.

"Hi Mom, hi Dad...I hope that you really are in a better place like the minister said. There's a lot to tell you this year. I guess I should start off with the best news. You know how I've told you all about Edward and how much I care about him, but he never felt the same way about me? Well guess what; he did feel the same way. We're actually together now, and not only that, he asked me to marry him."

I felt Edward's arms tighten around me as his face tucked into my neck. He kissed it gently, causing me to smile.

"We're talking about getting married mid August. We're going to do it at the awesome summer house that belongs to Carlisle and Esme that I told you we spend our summer vacation visiting. I think it would be ideal and Edward agrees. I even have a famous designer friend of Esme's custom designing a dress just for me."

I giggled, pulling one of his hands up to kiss, and then clutched both of his between mine when the realization hit that he didn't have any gloves on and must be freezing. I rubbed them between mine as I continued to talk.

"If Edward had it his way, we'd be getting married right now I think," He laughed and mumbled 'damn straight' in my ear. I rolled my eyes before continuing, "but August just makes more sense because we get that whole month off from med school. It's not going to be big or anything, just us, our friends and family on the beach. I'm sort of thinking it should be at sunset."

I glanced over at Edward who was smiling widely at me. He nodded, kissing my nose.

"Also, the other amazing news is that Emmett's going to be a Dad soon. I can't imagine him having a baby. The doctors say it's a girl. Can you imagine that? Emmett with a daughter, it's going to be great fun to watch. I'm hoping you can keep an eye on us and see for yourself from wherever you are right now because it's going to be a sight for sure."

I ran one hand over their names again as I continued to recap the last year, the good and the bad, before finally wrapping it up and moving to stand. Edward stood up, offering me a hand, which I took gratefully since my legs were feeling a little stiff from kneeling on the cold ground for so very long.

I stood, looking down at their grave one more time, whispering my last goodbyes. I felt two warm arms surround me from behind around my waist as Edward's head rested on my shoulder. He kissed my neck gently before whispering into my ear while rocking me gently from side to side.

"I didn't recognize it at the time, but I think I know the moment I fell in love with you. I met you for the first time during the visitation at the funeral home. I still remember the first time I saw you in person. I thought that you were so beautiful and the pictures Emmett had of you did you little justice. Your eyes looked so sad. You were clinging to Emmett's side, resting your head on his arm as though you couldn't stand up anymore. We walked up to the two of you. Emmett introduced us and even in your pain, you managed a smile at us. It was warm and beautiful. I remember thinking that you were something different, something special…but that wasn't when I fell in love with you."

I turned around in his embrace to look at him as he spoke, my eyes filling with tears that began to trickle down my cheeks. He paused and smiled at me sweetly, wiping away the escapees as he continued.

"I fell in love with you right here, at your parent's graveside service. You were sitting in the front row, wearing a black turtleneck sweater dress under a gray wool dress coat, the sides of your hair pinned back with little silver butterfly clips that you later told me were your mother's. I watched you and Emmett as the minister spoke. You looked so drained and fragile. My instincts made me want to go hold you up to keep you from falling over. The icy wind was blowing right into the side of the tent we were under, making your hair blow across your neck and face. You didn't even have the impulse to push it out of your way…you just sat there like a beautiful sad statue lost in your own world of mourning."

He caressed my cheek gently, kissing my forehead before pulling me to his chest. I rested my ear over his sternum with closed eyes, the memories sparking to the surface as he recounted the story. I rested against his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart as he continued to talk.

"After the minister finished, the people began to file out. We stayed behind to support Emmett as he got up and walked over to your Dad's casket. When they began to lower it into the ground, he dropped to his knees and started crying. Well, not just crying, he totally lost it. He was as close to hysterical as I have ever seen him. He'd been so strong through the whole thing, but in that moment, he was a far cry from the strong lighthearted guy we all knew and loved. We all stood there, dumbfounded, having no clue what to do, as we stared helplessly at his back. Then I saw it…you looked up and suddenly, you snapped out of your mourning. You walked across the small space separating the two of you."

He drew large comforting circles on my back. I could feel his shirt under my face growing damp from the fresh tears that came as my mind replayed the scene as he told it from his perspective.

"You looked like an angel, your face so caring, you hair blowing behind you in the wind, waving and flowing down your back. You stepped to Emmett's side and rested your hand on his arm, rubbing it gently. He turned to look at you as you ran your hand through his hair. None of us heard what you said, but he suddenly relaxed and reached over, pulling you into a tight hug, resting his cheek against your stomach. For the first time that day, your roles reversed as you held him up, rubbing his back and whispering comforting things to him, giving him hope. You continued to stroke his hair and whisper in his ear until finally his sobs slowly dried up. He slowly stood up, watching them lower your mother's casket into the ground after they finished your father's. You held each other, supporting each other equally, and it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen."

He tipped my face up to lock gazes with me as his fingers caressed my cheekbone gently, wiping away the moisture once more.

"You were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I instantly began to struggle with the desire to walk over, hold you close, and never let go. You were far too young and innocent, underage at the time. Beyond all that though, even though I didn't even really know you yet, I knew deep down in my heart that you deserved so much better than me. Even if I refused to look into doing anything about it, I knew that I was screwed up when it came to life and love. My birth mother had fucked me up beyond all repair. I had resolved myself to the fact that I would never be whole, but that didn't keep me from being drawn to you, wanting you in ways I didn't understand at the time."

He leaned down, resting his forehead to mine with a wide smile and watery eyes of his own.

"And all of these years later, nothing has changed…nothing except the fact that I now know that I am nothing without you. You are everything to me. You are the part of me that I had been missing for all of those years. You were right there in front of me, and I wouldn't let myself see it. I constantly hid from it, robbing myself of the most precious thing I could ever have."

He pulled back again, reaching down to pull my left hand up to his mouth. He kissed the engagement ring that he put on my ring finger Christmas morning.

"I'm done running now though, Bella. I woke up and I finally found what I needed, what I had been missing, and I have every intention of holding on to you for the rest of my life. I'm so happy that you've agreed to be my wife."

I smiled and ran my fingers up his shoulders and into his hair, "And I'm so glad you asked me. I love you so much, Edward. I always have. I can't say I fell in love with you that day, because to be honest, I was pretty much dead inside during that time, but I definitely noticed you. It wasn't long after before you owned my heart for good. Thank you for being here with me."

He leaned his forehead down again, kissing my lips gently. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be, my love. It's been an honor to come back here every year with you and Emmett. I'm glad I could be here for both of you."

I wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my nose into it, pulling a deep lingering breath. I let it out slowly, peppering kisses up it gently, before whispering into his ear.

"I think it's time to go, baby." I felt him nod against my head before I released my grip on his neck. I wrapped myself around his right arm, gripping his hand tightly between both of mine. I paused to glance back at my parents' headstone one more time. "Goodbye Mom and Dad, I love you," I whispered before turning back to face the car, tugging gently on Edward's arm to indicate I was ready to go.

We walked slowly back to the group standing near the car, Rosalie whispering into Emmett's ear while smoothing circles along his bicep in comfort. Alice and Jasper stood closely, cuddling together for warmth, and whispering to one another. All four looked toward us as we approached with small smiles. I smiled back and nodded silently toward the car to which they all nodded back and began climbing back into the rented minivan.

We drove in silence as we left the cemetery and made our way back to our hotel to warm up and change out of our clothes since our pants all now had wet knees and legs.

Author's Note: I know, I know…I'm sorry. I promise the rest of the trip won't be quite so heart wrenching! There will be a few intense moments, but the rest of the trip will be a lot more fun as we see goofy Emmett and silly Bella.

In other news, it's official. I will be doing the Author's chat in the chatroom at The Writer's Coffee Shop on Wednesday December 30th at 7pm Eastern. Go check them out, sign up, and if you have the time come ask me questions and make me try to type at vampire speed in order to keep up with all the questions and comments! If you want to participate, you have to register. I'm nervous, but excited! Even if you don't join the writer's chat, still go check them out. It's a nice little community!

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